Hogan v Andre!

Hulk Hogan v Andre the Giant (WWF, 3/21/81) 

"It's legalised murder!" Kal Rudman is such a pervert for the bloodletting. Any time this Spectrum crowd were treated to a glimpse of the plasma you could guarantee Rudman was for losing his mind along with each and every bloodthirsty maniac in attendance. Although this was a glorious 10 minutes so it's hard not to get swept up in our man Kal's ZEAL. Even grizzled referee Dick Woehrle decided to just sit on the top turnbuckle and let these two go at it, to hell with trying to enforce anything. They put over Andre's headbutt right from the start as Hogan wants exactly no part of it, bolting to the floor and asking Woehrle to do something about something. Woehrle merely shrugs, perched upon the turnbuckle, as any of us mere mortals would. Andre literally smothers Hogan with the bearhug and Andre really does have one of the very best bearhugs ever. Hogan's revenge bearhug may look even better as he actually picks Andre up and holds him in the air! Andre is so gigantic that he can break the hold by just wrapping his hands around Hogan's head and it looks like he's legit trying to rip that head from neck. Hogan then fuckin bodyslams him and Andre taking a bodyslam will never look anything shy of incredible. Maybe this was the bodyslam that tore every muscle in Hogan's back and neck and arse? It looked superhuman either way. Andre is amazing at selling the cumulation of damage, sort of lunging at Hogan's leg and grabbing it to buy some time while he's being clubbed across the back, eventually taking Hogan down with a single-leg and wrapping that leg up so Hogan can't press any advantage. From there Andre shifts to actually working the leg for a minute, first with the killer jumping elbow across the knee, then twisting and pulling at the leg. Hogan has a tree trunk for a leg and yet the size difference makes it look like Andre's just trying to remove the bone from a slab of meat. I think I've watched maybe one non-Hulkamania era Hogan match in the last eight years, so seeing him load up his elbow pad was some alternate reality stuff. Everything after it was amazing. First Andre whips him into the ropes and when Hogan dodges the big boot you're thinking he's clobbering Andre on the rebound, except Andre blocks the clothesline and grabs Hogan's arm like he's a panda bear with a stick of bamboo. Andre nails another one of those headbutts, steals the elbow pad for himself and fucking clotheslines Hogan in the face! Hogan is a bloody mess immediately and Rudman is fully stripped to the waist on commentary. "IT'S A MASS OF BLOOD!" Never have you heard a man so full of glee. Andre clubbers Hogan in the head while the crowd and Rudman lose their full marbles, then Hogan catches Andre with a boot and goes for another slam only to get squashed like a bug. Just a wonderful spectacle in front of a nuclear crowd. Post-match Hogan tries to jump Andre so Andre clotheslines him in the face again and I don't think Rudman had one stitch of clothing left on his person, the gruesome deviant. I think their Wrestlemania 3 match is pretty much perfect in its own right, but this has to be the best Hogan/Andre match ever. 

The Kazunari Murakami Battlarts Tour (part 1 of several, maybe?)

Kazunari Murakami & Alexander Otsuka v Yuki Ishikawa & Naoki Sano (Battlarts, 3/25/00)

Sitting down and watching a 30-minunte draw is not typically something I'll set aside time to do at this stage of the game. However, this is Battlarts and this is Ishikawa v Murakami and this is Naoki Sano treating us to yet another version of his take on shoot style. 30 minutes with those four wrestlers is not the same as 30 minutes with most wrestlers. It was 30 minutes that pretty much flew by. Ishikawa/Murakami was the central pairing here and it's as great as it always is. Murakami has the perfect sort of reckless attitude towards hitting someone in the face that a masochist like Ishikawa will thrive off and every exchange was stellar, Murakami just blasting him with kicks and punches, Ishikawa rising to his feet grinning like a psychopath. When he's not obliterating people with crowbars Murakami has some of the wildest judo throws ever, just whipping guys over like he's trying to separate their torso form their legs, planting them as hard as possible before transitioning straight into keylocks or kimuras. There were one or two moments where he looked like he maybe wasn't quite sure whether to follow up on something, whether to give or to take, but the moments where he took were violent enough that you don't really care. Sano and Otsuka feel like a match made in heaven in their own right, two guys who'll sprinkle pro style moves into a shoot style setting better than anyone ever. Battlarts is really the ideal place for that as well, given that it's always been the beautiful ugly bastard stepchild of both styles. They did a mid-match rope running bit where Otsuka missed a springboard in the ring that eventually culminated with Sano wiping him out with a tope. In the end it comes down to Sano and Murakami, a deviation from the expected Ishikawa v Murakami, and Sano hooking Murakami in a preposterous rolling double-arm chickenwing was amazing. What's even more amazing was the way he grabbed a Murakami kick and just blasted him in the willy. Whether it was intentional or not I don't know, but when you think about it there's really no better way to stop a madman than that. 

Joe v Darby (1/4/23)

Samoa Joe v Darby Allin (AEW Dynamite, 1/4/23)

This feels like a matchup made in heaven. Darby getting thrown around like a sack of potatoes by an angry ogre? Probably would be good under the majority of circumstances. It had a great start with Darby interrupting Joe's bullying of Nick Wayne by hitting the bullet tope. It was sort of a glancing blow by its usual standards, but in a way that made it look all the more reckless. It wasn't measured, it was reactionary and even a glancing blow at the speed Darby hits it at will stop you dead. Darby has to go for broke immediately and the 1-2 punch with the skateboard shots and ladder dive was great. Joe taking over with the STO on the steps was repulsive and pretty much one of the best transition spots ever. Darby is fucking certifiable taking that right on the jagged corners and the suddenness of it was shocking. I loved his selling after that too, super groggy and basically just trying to buy himself time. Then he got his head mashed into the ring post and the bump off of that was only marginally less nuts than the one on the steps. His selling got even better from there as well, to the point where I wondered if he hadn't actually gotten his bell rung on the post shot. From there it's basically a case of him trying to survive in the hopes of fashioning half a comeback before Joe squashes him. I haven't really watched any Joe in AEW but it's a blast seeing him clearly love what he's doing here. I'd kind of forgotten how good he was at his peak before revisiting that a few years ago, and by all accounts he's found another lease of life after the last WWE run. He was so good at cutting off Darby in interesting ways, sometimes with a big chop or headbutt, then at other times with some killer knee work. The cross-legged kneebreaker thing was awesome and the way he hit that senton as Darby's legs were bent underneath himself looked gross. They needed something creative to make Darby's win plausible after everything he'd endured, and the stuff with the exposed turnbuckle as Darby's big opening totally worked for me. So did the double Coffin Drop, first to the back and then the second landing full body on Joe's chest. A really good wrestling match, obviously. 

Our first trip back to Mid-South of 2024

Dr. Death & The Fantastics v The Fabulous Freebirds (1/18/87)

Hard to ask for much more from a 12-minute TV six-man. Williams was damn near a force of nature in this, clobbering both Hayes and Roberts like they owed him beer money and the interactions with Gordy ruled. I saw it in all three of the matches I watched a couple months ago with those two opposite each other, but the spot where Gordy tries to hit a back body drop only for Williams to slip out of it and immediately hit a German suplex really is awesome. Hayes was a total blast yet again, showing alllll of the ass and getting punched up and down the place, landing in the wrong corner and getting popped by both Fantastics, turning around and getting ham hocked by Williams. Frustratingly we come back from a commercial break with Fulton already in peril, and I kind of knew that would be the case but it didn't stop me from muttering "fuck off" off to myself when the fact was confirmed. It all breaks down into a melee towards the end and then to PEEVE us even more we run out of TV time before the finish, although we do get a post-match clip of some more heels and babyfaces joining the fray at the very end. I have not a clue who won the match. The safe bet is probably on nobody. 

Dr. Death & Ted DiBiase v Terry Gordy & Michael Hayes (Badstreet Match) (1/25/87)

This was more of a regular tag than a wild out of control brawl. Ordinarily you'd want the latter if you've seen even one WCCW Badstreet match, but what we did get was still really good. The layout was simple enough, first with some DiBiase in peril followed by Williams in peril, the latter coming after he gets clobbered with a cowboy boot and takes that sweet blade to his forehead. The DiBiase segment was really good stuff as the Birds go after the neck and Gordy fucking drills him with a huge back suplex, then just chucks him into the corner and DiBiase's neck snaps back disgustingly as he hits the buckles. The Birds really crack Williams with that boot and the ref' can't do anything because it's no DQ (technically). Tommy Gilbert would often be kind of annoying as a ref' because he'd sometimes get super involved and confrontational, but those moments where he's trying to keep DiBiase out are probably the better for him having actually been a wrestler before. DiBiase can reeeeeally try and get in there to save his partner and Tommy can make pushing him back look good, and he actually has the physical capabilities to do it. A DQ finish, even for interference, in a Badstreet match is a bit rubbish, but these are the 80s, I guess. Hayes narrating over it is amusing at least. 

Ted DiBiase v One Man Gang (2/6/87)

What a nice wee spirited brawl. This might be my favourite DiBiase, the babyface brawler who'll bleed and punch and maybe get hit with a chair. He does all of those things here and the chairshot looked particularly nasty. Gang is such a fun big boi, someone I was always whatever on until about six-seven years ago. He was great here, working DiBiase's cut forehead and wiping blood on himself like war paint. His missed splash always looks good, like it would knock enough wind out of him that the opponent could conceivably make a comeback. Sure enough we get some revenge bloodletting and DiBiase is pretty great at dishing out some payback. The ref' bumps towards the end were not the greatest it must be said, but they brought it back around with the finish. A really nice eight minutes. 

Mid-South Project

In the new year we are watching Antonio Inoki and Dick Murdoch against pirates

Antonio Inoki & Dick Murdoch v Billy & Bully Gaspar (New Japan, 3/14/88)

I have not a clue who the Gaspar brothers are. I don't think it's ever specified which one is Billy and which one is Bully. They're both dressed like pirates, with baggy white shirts and red pantaloons. Oh and hockey masks of course. One of them looked a wee bit clunky at points, but it's hard to get a handle on how good someone is based on like 10 minutes. The other one was pretty damn fun though. He took an awesome Slaughter bump into the post, tumbling out to the apron just to get clocked by a Murdoch punch and sent back in the ring. Murdoch was living it up as a pure babyface here and he had the fans in his pocket. I guess he was Inoki's ace in the hole against these menaces. He threw amazing Dick Murdoch punches and a couple Captain Redneck dropckicks, and his headscissor takedown is one of the best ever. The Gaspars isolate Inoki for a little bit and even run a phantom hot tag spot (that doesn't come off great but I appreciate that they even tried it). Then Inoki just kind of comes back and make the tag under no duress. One Gaspar brains Inoki with a chair and piledriver on it and the ref' throws the thing out, but Inoki and Murdoch stand tall at the end and want the Gaspars for another round. I can only guess the Gaspar thing was some kind of Inoki idea that was dropped before long. Such is life.