A couple Eddie tags

Eddie & Chavo Guerrero v Edge & Rey Mysterio (Smackdown!, 8/15/02) - GREAT

Basically a southern style tag on lotsa speed. It was six and a half minutes and they kept the broad structure of a traditional tag, more AWA than Crockett with one shorter heat segment followed by a longer one (relative to the match length), but they never really leaned into any hope spots or cut-off teases. Instead they went for the all-action approach, hit everything hard, hit it fast, and in the end it felt like the match had way more than six minutes of content. In the best way possible, I mean. It was urgent but not rushed. Or maybe it was rushed but it didn't FEEL rushed. Or maybe it did but not in the shitty way. Prolly. Look, it's right at the beginning of the Smackdown Six period so you know that above all else these guys are going to go out and try to rip it up for however long they get. The Eddie/Rey parts were magic. Eddie absolutely drills him with a powerbomb, that leads to Rey going FIP while the Guerreros target the back, and of course I'll always love the hilo to the lower back spot. There's a bit early on where Eddie gets knocked off the apron before Chavo is backdropped over the ropes onto him, but Eddie was so good at making it not obvious he's out there waiting for Chavo to land on him. Maybe this is the old man yelling at clouds part of me, but those spots happen all the time today and they almost never look organic. It's always obvious what's about to happen. And it wasn't just Eddie either, all four of them - yes even Chavo - were great at running through their sequences and hitting their stuff in a way that didn't take me out of the moment. And then Angle appeared and went jock roid rage on Rey and maybe after twenty years this Smackdown Six stuff will feel fresh again? He asks, knowing he'll never watch it all. But this was quality. 

Eddie Guerrero & Chris Benoit v The Rock & Edge (Smackdown!, 8/22/02) - GOOD

This got more time, about thirteen minutes which you can't complain about. They made the most of it and they cut a strong pace again, but it also felt fleshed out and nothing really came off rushed. Both babyfaces play Ricky Morton for a bit, Rock having the longer heat segment and I'm fine with that because I like him and do not like Edge very much. Eddie channels intensity every bit as believably as Benoit and all of their stuff looks like it would actually hurt, their cut-offs are sharp and their work on Rock's ribs is good. Eddie goes for a frog splash, Edge juuuuust manages to trip him before he jumps and Eddie lands practically on his face. There were a few minor miscues in the first half and Edge's stuff looks sort of crummy, but I can't say I'm not at least a little interested in finally revisiting the Edge/Eddie feud after all this time. I hope I like it more in 2022! 

Complete & Accurate Guerrero Brothers

Patterson v Patera! Or, if you like, Pat v Ken!

Ken Patera v Pat Patterson (WWF, 4/21/80)

Another day, another quality Ken Patera match. This wasn't as frenetic as the Bruno match from '77, and where the Andre tag was sort of whimsical this had STAKES attached, namely the Intercontinental title. So it's cool to see him in a few different settings (within the broader setting of the WWF, at least). I loved the beginning with Patterson working the arm. It really ebbed and flowed, they'd bring it to the mat, come up for air, bring it back down again, and Pat wrenching on the arm wringer leading into Patera taking a big flip bump ruled. Patera is also one of the more incredible athletes of the era, a legit Olympic-level weightlifter with hops to the moon and a leapfrog to match, so of course the rope-running sequences were awesome. Patera taking over by just heaving Patterson over the ropes was badass. I mean you're the strongest guy in the fucking state of New York, obviously you can just take over like that. Vince sells it on commentary like Patterson was thrown in a volcano and it's ridiculous how good this Vince was, especially compared to later Vince. That boy fell off worse than Dele Alli. Patera works an extended King of the Mountain segment with the crowd getting more and more pissed, then he goes to the bearhug and the sense of dread from the crowd is sort of insane. When he winds up for the full nelson and stalks down Patterson that sense of dread somehow increases tenfold. Patterson's work on the leg in the back half is really good and Patera sells it all well, really hobbling around while Patterson wraps the leg around the post or tries repeatedly for the figure-four. I wasn't sure who actually won this either, so I was into everything towards the end and even popped for Patera bringing home the belt (despite him being the heel. I am very edgy, yes). Every time I see Patterson I think he needs the proper deep dive treatment. Patera probably does as well but I suppose there are only so many hours in the day. 

Stash Box, X-Box, Laptop, Fax Machine, Phone - Bulletproof this Bitch and Piper's Gone

Roddy Piper v Jimmy Snuka (Fijian Strap Match) (WWF, 7/20/84) - GOOD

This is a Roddy Piper in a match where he and his opponent are attached by a strap/chain/collar so instantly that means the floor is somewhat raised. It was only about 10 minutes and comparing it to a Piper/Valentine would be a fool's errand, but it was fun and I liked it better than their no DQ match from May. Piper milks the hell out of hooking himself up to the strap at the start, milks the hell out of Snuka giving him a few little shots with the strap, milks the hell out of the strap-assisted test of strength. The longer it goes the harder they whip each other and Piper can only seem to make any inroads by poking Snuka in the eye, which of course is great because the more chance of seeing the GOAT eye poke the better. He tries to clonk Snuka's head off the buckle, realises the error of his ways, but ultimately it's too late and he gets punched to the floor. Loved Piper trying to grab a chair only for the old guy at ringside to pick it up and sit it out of reach, Piper contemplating having a go at him only to be dragged back in by the strap. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen Piper lose a match clean as a sheet so that finish was unexpected. There are two or three more singles matches between these two that I kind of want to watch and I'm not sure I'd expect a classic out of them, but if nothing else it's fun seeing how Piper will work different stuff with someone who isn't very good. 

Roddy Piper v Tonga Kid (WWF, 11/26/84) - EPIC

HOT DAMN THIS IS THE PRO WRESTLING! How in the name of christ was the Tonga Kid not a megastar??? In an alternate - some would say superior - timeline this headlines Wrestlemania 3 with Piper dropping the belt to Tama in front of 94,000 people. These are legit two of my favourite wrestlers ever and I cannot tell you how much I loved this. Absolutely BONKERS crowd from start to finish. Piper is wearing an ungodly fur coat that he won in hand to hand combat with a Jacobite clan leader, the sort of thing Conor McGregor would wear to a press conference thinking he looked even FRACTIONALLY as dapper as Hot Rod. Snuka is making his return to MSG after Piper put him out of action some months ago and people are just going apeshit for him coming out to sit in the Tonga Kid's corner. This is one of the most fun Piper performances ever, leading a literal teenager - albeit a prodigiously talented one - through an awesome match and making him look spectacular into the bargain. He slaps Tama at the start and Tama just stares at him defiantly, then when Tama slaps him back Piper fakes walking out, turns around to throw a cheapshot, but Tama blocks it and rocks him with a headbutt. The place goes full crazy. Piper doing Snuka's double leapfrog bit was amazing and all of his jawing with Snuka ruled. At one point he bites Tama in the face over by where Snuka's sitting, spits on Snuka and calls him a piece a garbage, then chops Tama in the throat. The crowd reactions for every Tama hope spot are honestly ridiculous and Piper is masterful at stoking the fire every time, shutting the kid down with an eye poke here, a sleeper hold there, all the while making one of the least interesting wrestlers ever in Jimmy Snuka feel like the biggest deal in wrestling just sitting there on the floor. Tama's comeback is quite frankly the greatest thing you've ever seen. First he fights to his feet to break the sleeper and I was already stripped to the waist at his little hip shake to fire himself up, then Piper rams his head into the buckle and Tama POPS AND LOCKS right in his face! Piper looks at him in astonishment, very much the way you'd expect a white man who's never seen anyone pop and lock in the streets of Glasgow or Saskatoon to look at someone popping and locking like this. Perhaps sensing some ethnic witchcraft is afoot Piper tries to bolt, but Snuka is right there and when Piper turns around Tama blitzes him with a jumping headbutt. Tama stomps on Piper's willy and Monsoon goes silent for a second before intoning: "might've been illegal" in a way that suggests even he could not give a shit about the referee's lenience. For six seconds there I was a wee bit disappointed at the double DQ finish, but then Piper and Orton try to crush Tama's throat with a chair and Snuka intervenes and I could honest to god count on one hand the number of MSG crowds I've seen hotter for a post-match brawl. They couldn't have built up a future tag match any better than this and that sort of wrestling match is worth its weight in gold. Just a perfect bit of the pro wrestling. 

Complete & Accurate Hot Rod

Andre v Patera! Sort of

Andre the Giant & Pat Patterson v Ken Patera & Bobby Duncam (WWF, 3/24/80)

"From Grenoble in the French Alps." I haven't really thought about this until now, but that has to be as perfect a place of origin for a pro wrestler as you can get. Not so much the Grenoble part as I assume Grenoble is a very normal city all things considered, but the French Alps part makes it sound like Andre's this giant who's come down from a mountaintop to wreak havoc amongst the mortals. This was a total blast, and fittingly a lot of that is down to Andre wreaking havoc amongst the mortals. It's mostly a babyface showcase and in that sense I wish we'd gotten a structural tweak or two, maybe a few more minutes for a proper heat segment, but for what it was going for we'd be foolish to complain. We got a whole bunch of fun double teams and general nonsense from Andre and Patterson, with Patera getting to excel in his role as stooge and Bobby Duncam Sr bringing the stooging AND the surliness. Andre grabs Duncam in a kind of straight-arm full nelson so Duncam straddles both legs across the top rope, Andre holds on, then after the ref' puts on the count Andre releases and Duncam takes a splat on his back. Andre backs Duncam into the corner, ready to pounce as Duncam looks for an escape route, then Patterson comes sliding under Andre's legs and pops Duncam in the ribs. My favourite double team was when Andre squashed Duncam by sitting on his chest, Patterson got up on Andre's shoulders and both of them sat there for a few seconds, then when Patera made to come in Andre stood up like fucking Frankenstein with Patterson still on his shoulders and chased Patera out the ring! I loved Patera running into Andre's CABOOSE and bouncing halfway to Mars. I loved Patera running the ropes and skipping over a prone Patterson, stopping dead with a big exaggerated "whooooooa" as Andre sticks his tree trunk leg through the ropes, Patera turning around into a Patterson armdrag. I loved basically everything. Honestly it felt like a perfect touring Andre performance. He was super animated in the ring and on the apron, working from above and then briefly from below. He sold a nerve hold about as well as you could want, the way he was trying to get back to his base, flailing his huge legs, swatting air with his huge hands, punching Duncam in the thigh just to break free. Duncam catches him with a running knee and Andre's spill to the floor was amazing, breaking three chairs as he flies through the ropes. It didn't look like a pro wrestling bump, it was pretty much exactly what you'd expect from a man that size being kneed in the head by another very large man running at speed, where the gigantic man tried to stop himself from crashing but ultimately fell victim to gravity and physics. On the apron he stood up on the bottom rope, then grabbed the tag rope and used it to steady himself as he leaned allllll the way forward for the tag, and no joke his arm was practically in the middle of the fucking ring! When he did come in roaring he chased Duncam and Patera around the place and Patera just hopped out of there when he realised Andre wasn't playing. A sensational Andre show. Throw in the awesome figure-four/big splash combo finish and you've got a killer 11 minutes. 

Bruno in MSG!

Bruno Sammartino v Ken Patera (WWWF, 3/7/77)

This was badass. It's their second match from '77 that we have on tape, the first being from January 17th, which so happened to be my old da's 18th birthday! I do not imagine he was in attendance, however. In that match Patera won the opening exchanges and revelled in doing so, his confidence growing every time he got to show the strength advantage of an honest to goodness Olympian. This time the bell rings, they briefly circle each other, then Bruno gives a knowing look to the crowd, boots Patera in the guts and tries to punch the jaw off him. The place went bananas and the match never really looked back from there. There were so many cool little touches in this, usually as a result of Bruno's scrappiness and/or Patera's willingness to stooge. I've always loved Bruno's mule kick but I don't remember him doing it from his back as a cut-off. He did it here as Patera went to jump on him and I don't think Patera was expecting it either, because it essentially became a mule kick to the balls. Patera's wide-eyed backpedalling sell was pretty much immaculate. The first half of this was pretty back and forth, but every momentum shift was earned and made sense and I love that Monsoon was actually really fun as the guest ref'. Somehow I wouldn't have guessed that from his later commentary, derisory as he often was to the men in the white shirts. There was almost a running theme of both guys kicking out of pin attempts as forcefully as possible and every time it happened one of them would land on Monsoon. Gorilla took it all in his stride, then Patera would get frustrated, not just at Bruno kicking out but at Gorilla trying to maintain some distance between the wrestlers if Bruno wound up on the floor. Patera obviously wanted to press the advantage and when Gorilla pushed him back to continue the count Patera cocked his fist like he was about to smack him. Of course like a total stooge he made sure Monsoon never saw it. Later on, after another one of Bruno's emphatic kick-outs, Patera landed right across Monsoon's shoulders. Patera got up raging, Monsoon looked at him like "are you sure you want to pull on that thread?" and Patera backed away with his ego stung. Patera eventually takes over with a couple huge bodyslams before going to the bearhug, and these were some great bodyslams and Patera always has a quality bearhug. Bruno always makes it look like he's actively trying to escape as well, plus he has bucket loads of charisma so if nothing else the crowd are going to be engaged. From there they end up on the mat and sort of roll around trading pin attempts, all while Patera still has the bearhug applied. They roll into the ropes and when Patera releases it, Bruno, from the mount position, starts blasting him with fists. Bruno standing up and immediately collapsing holding his lower back was a fucking amazing little bit of selling and Patera's running elbow drop while Bruno tries to crawl to the corner was honestly one of the best elbow drops I've ever seen. He just murdered Bruno with this thing and left him in a heap in the corner. Bruno dropping about a dozen knees to Patera's lower back later while the crowd heat goes from molten to fully nuclear was unbelievable and I've never bought someone breaking a man's spine with CLUBBERING more than I bought Bruno doing it to Patera here. The revenge bearhug was about as perfect as you could get and obviously the roof gets blown off the place when it happens. Blood stoppages can sometimes be a downer and I knew we were headed that way as soon as Monsoon made a fuss about checking the cut, but Patera being rammed into the buckle as a Full Nelson reversal and his subsequence posting were amazing moments, so it's hard to really complain. Plus you need to give them points for Patera going buck wild with the blade and Monsoon doing his part by getting his crisp white shirt covered in blood. One of the best WWF matches of the decade.

ARSION Zion Tournament 1998 (8/31/98)

Not Williamson.

This is now the third time I've written about this particular tournament. It was a long tournament, I guess. At some point during it Michiko Ohmukai wound up with a busted shoulder. I don't remember how it happened but ARSION were always great at playing off injuries from show to show (or within the same show), so naturally it led to some good stuff. ARSION really was the best. 

Mikiko Futagami v Ayako Hamada

Neat five minutes that ended with one of the better roll-up sequences you'll see. Hamada is a literal teenager and Futagami has run the likes of Yoshida to the wire, so for the most part Hamada works from underneath. They blew one spot pretty badly but other than that all of Futagami's offence landed nicely. The start was pretty fun as well, with both of them trading derisory slaps after sitting the other on the top rope like a child on a time out. Hamada looked resourceful at the end and I bought Futagami being caught by surprise after she'd started properly gaining the upper hard. Sometimes a roll-up sequence is actually okay, maybe? 

Mariko Yoshida v Michiko Ohmukai 

This was Ohmukai with a kicker's chance against Yoshida who will tie her up and rip her limbs off if given half a chance. Both of them worked this with a sense of urgency, but Ohmukai almost felt desperate at points given her busted up shoulder. You knew that if Yoshida got a hold of it then it would probably be curtains, and Ohmukai knew that as well, so she swung for the fences straight away. There wasn't a ton of variety to what she did, I guess other than which type of kick she was throwing. The kicks looked mean though, most of them landing with a thud, a handful catching Yoshida flush. One in particular caught her right under the chin as Yoshida came back off the ropes. It wasn't a long match, but the longer it did go the more Ohmukai needed to push things and that left open doors for Yoshida, who will happily walk through a door and submit you. Even something fairly standard can look spectacular when Yoshida does it and this time it was the way she dropped to a knee for a rear waistlock as a counter to a simple arm wringer. Other than that she was hooking things from all angles, sprawling and rolling through and generally being relentless. She wasn't even all that bothered about targeting the shoulder. When the opportunity presented itself she went for it, but she wasn't perturbed when Ohmukai managed to escape. When she caught one of Ohmukai's high kicks and yanked her into a sick ankle lock you kind of knew it was inevitable. The only question was what Ohmukai would tap to. Because in the end they all tap. 

Hiromi Yagi v Tiger Dream 

This felt like a bit of a Tiger Dream showcase. I have no recollection of Tiger Dream but I guess she was being pushed as the female version of Tiger Mask. I'm guessing the idea didn't last very long. She had an extremely cool mask - a Tiger Mask mask, only pink - and rolled out some of the trademark Tiger Mask spots. Those spots looked decent, the twisting hammerlock into drop toe hold being super quick, but they kind of felt like they were being inserted specifically for the purposes of showing people that she could actually do them and it wasn't always the most compelling. Maybe a waste of Hiromi Yagi. Apparently it was also Candy Okutsu under the mask and I'd have preferred a regular Yagi/Okutsu match, tbh. 

Mariko Yoshida v Ayako Hamada

The final! Hamada came into it having bested - or perhaps upset - Futagami and Mary Apache and maybe figured she'd have an outside chance of dethroning the queen in waiting. She was clearly a fool as this was basically an extended squash. What an extended squash though, with Yoshida twisting her into knots and never giving her a second's peace. She was relentless and any time Hamada looked like putting a run together she would be stopped emphatically. Yoshida is spectacular as always, just ripping off armbars and leglocks while this kid wonders what she's gotten herself into. There was one brilliant nearfall off a backslide where Yoshida managed to get a toe on the rope, then she got up and Hamada never got close again. In the end the poor lass is carried out like a pit fighter that Yoshida made an end of. The queen of ARSION. 

When Something's Dark, Let Tenryu Shed a Little Light on it. When Something's Cold, Let Tenryu put a Little Fire on It

Genichiro Tenryu v Jumbo Tsuruta (All Japan, 10/6/87) - GREAT

I figured I'd seen every Jumbo/Tenryu singles match available so this was a pleasant surprise. I didn't even know it existed. If you're breaking it into thirds I thought the first third was awesome, the middle third good, and the final third something that I could be convinced was one or the other. All of it was compelling, though. Going back and watching these two match up a few times in tags and singles over the last week has been fun. It's an incredible feud that built and built over a three-year period until we hit a point where Jumbo almost became a mirror of the man across from him, the sort of man he hated, though maybe ironically the sort of man who lit a fire under him in the first place back when Choshu rocked up. Our man Matt D has written some amazing stuff about the dichotomy between Jumbo and Tenryu in 1989, how Tenryu knew what he was and was comfortable in that knowledge, how he wanted to burn this world to the ground in the name of revolution, while Jumbo still saw himself as the hero even though at times he was channelling the same violence of his old partner, looking to the crowd for the support they'd always given him, oblivious to the fact his makeup was about as black as the pad he wore around his elbow. It's easy to say with the benefit of hindsight and the fact I've gone through most of this stuff before, but that dichotomy seems no less pronounced in '87. Forgetting all of the stuff around narrative progression and how they communicate it in the ring, the reason I want to watch Jumbo against Tenryu more than anyone else in the 80s - and maybe ever - is that Tenryu really does bring out a level of violence in Jumbo that nobody else did; not Choshu, not even Misawa. Old man grumpy Jumbo where he's chasing the new kids off his lawn is still my favourite Jumbo, but this Jumbo was still on the right side of his prime and with it brought an even greater layer of legitimacy to everything. Call it aura, call it basic human physiology (you know, he was younger), call it just deciding to work stiffer, call it whatever you want -- when Jumbo wrestled Tenryu he upped his game to another level and it was routinely electric. This started with Jumbo on a rager and he didn't need Tenryu to push him to violence. The big man was already there. He tried to maul Tenryu early and blasted him with one of the meanest slaps you've ever seen, Tenryu selling it like his eardrum exploded. Tenryu going to the headlock felt like pure containment and made sense, and the fact he worked the thing like it was a vice grip didn't hurt either. This is the sort of headlock Dustin Rhodes should be sending to dummies like Bryan Alvarez when they say headlocks suck. Long live the headlocks, or at least the good ones! Middle third takes a bit of a dip even if it's still good, then they bring it back up after Tenryu hits a hotshot across the top rope. I don't know when that move became Jumbo's kryptonite, if it already was at this point or they were still establishing it as such, but either way it gave Tenryu the upper hand for the first time all match. Everything he'd tried before that just led back to Jumbo going apeshit and taking over with the high knee or a lariat or a flurry of slaps and elbows. This one led to the first real extended run of Tenryu offence and he damn near unloaded the full clip. You're so used to seeing overacted hammy melodrama when someone kicks out of a move in 2022 that Tenryu showing some subtle doubt feels Oscar-worthy. Jumbo doesn't regain control with one move this time either, first it was a backslide attempt and then hitting the backdrop as a reversal, and I liked as well that he sold the damage of Tenryu's recent barrage by being too slow and banged up to make a proper cover. The finishing stretch is sort of weird, really. I liked it in theory as they managed to sell the attrition of it all, how every bit of offence felt hard to come by, like any move could be the match-ender. It was bit rough though, and some of the selling for one or two of the moves that didn't come off was maybe a little disproportionate. I mean I don't mind them working two failed powerbomb attempts, I didn't think they were botches and if you're not going to hit the move then I'd rather it was because your opponent properly struggled to get out of it. This felt like a struggle, but Tenryu just sort of rolling out the ring after it was strange. What I did like was the way he dragged the referee into Jumbo's high knee attempt, while hitting Jumbo with a lariat at the same time. It was the sort of dick move that, no matter how far gone Jumbo would be, no matter how much he'd be infected by the violence, he'd never do something like that. Or at least HE believed that, which only highlighted his hypocrisy even more because a minute later he's completely flipped his lid and slamming the referee in the middle of the ring, lost to the rage completely. And then there's a Brody run-in and I'm not actually sure what the official decision was, if there even was one. 

Complete & Accurate Tenryu

Command Bolshoi! Kana! Other people!

I'm going in on the joshi this month, I guess. My good man Elliot from PWO and the GME board has been recommending me some 2010s stuff and I can't say 2010s joshi was ever something I wanted to jump into, but who am I to argue with him? I am also jumping into some Command Bolshoi, who's the girl in the clown costume that Yumiko Hotta punted up and down the place like a football that one time. Apparently she was a really fun mat worker and she has her own youtube channel where she's uploading new matches all the time. So it would be rude not to check her out. 

We'll see where this takes me. 

Command Bolshoi v Carlos Amano (Submission Match) (JWP, 9/23/02)

This was a real blast. Amano I already knew was a fun mat worker, but I wasn't quite sure what to expect from Bolshoi working holds and grappling. Based on this I guess she kind of fucking ruled? There was a bunch of neat and tricked out matwork here, really slick, often coming in warp speed bursts where they'd fight over a hold. They never lost that sense of struggle though. It felt gritty and uncooperative enough that the prettiness of those holds didn't make it teeter all the way into exhibition territory. In fact early on there was a real IWRG/lucha maestros vibe to this, where they'd work exchanges, reset, talk a little shit and then get back to it. As the match went on those exchanges grew longer and soon enough the resets were done away with completely, a real sense of escalation with them going for more unique and audacious stuff the deeper it went. I don't even know what my favourite parts were now but Bolshoi dropping out of a rolling armbar and spinning around on the mat like a Beyblade to give herself an opening was awesome. At one point Amano had Bolshoi in this chickenwing scarf hold thing, then later they came to a stalemate with Amano applying a standing cross armbreaker while Bolshoi used her own free arm to twist Amano's free arm into a modified choke. I love how they'd use the ropes as well, often as a launchpad into more rapid fast takedowns or counters. Give me all of the Bolshoi like this. 

Kana v Arisa Nakajima (JWP, 8/18/13)

So this is the first time I've watched Arisa Nakajima. I think. Even as someone not particularly well-versed in whatever's been happening in joshi over the last 10-15 years I know she's one of the more heralded workers of the modern style. I already knew how good Kana is/was. With that said, I can't actually remember the last time I watched anything she'd done in Japan. She hits like a bastard, in case you were wondering. I don't really know what the story was coming into this, but from the pre-match package and the way they needed to be pulled apart in interview segments I can guess there was some ANIMOSITY. Kana was pretty much the Terminator here and she was great continually moving forward, unrelenting, cutting off Nakajima when the latter tried to match strikes. When Nakajima did create openings I thought Kana was really good at selling vulnerability and then she'd get more violent in response and that was the best part. She clonked Nakajima with a headbutt at one point and took the jaw off her with a backfist and then headbutted her again. Those parts were the best, basically. I have no real stance on Nakajima yet. She seemed fine, one goofy fighting spirit bit aside, but it's hard to draw conclusions from one match and this one felt like Kana's show anyway. Their rematch was recommended to me and it's been talked up by folks I'll listen to as being great, so I guess I'll watch that this week or...at some point in my mortal existence. Prolly. 

Yumi and the Ripper!

Yumi Ikeshita & Monster Ripper v Rimi Yokota & Ayumi Hori (AJW, 7/80)

Crazy fun showcase for Ikeshita and Monster Ripper as the best big and little 1-2 bruiser combo we never got on a consistent basis. They were like Nappa and Vegeta, for those of you who also grew up watching Dragonball Z on Cartoon Network. Ikeshita was at the mauling straight out the gate, slamming Hori face-first into the mat and then dragging her around by the hair while grinding her face across the canvas. She would also slam Hori and Yokota down to the mat, her own leg outstretched, the toe of her boot being driven into the throat of whoever was unfortunate enough to be taking it. Which quite frankly is fucking incredible and I don't know if it's possible for me to think any more highly of her than I already do at this point. Ripper was using her GIRTH and just bumping her skinny opponents all over the place. She'd engage in a knuckle-lock with Hori and immediately yank her into a Vader-style body block and then later she was just obliterating them with THICKBOI hip attacks. Yokota and Hori had to bust their tail for absolutely everything and it made every bit of offence feel like a triumph, especially when they locked on stereo figure-fours and Ripper and Ikeshita sold genuine terror. Of course you cannot stop the inexorable advance of Yumi Ikeshita and Monster Ripper but especially Yumi Ikeshita as she immediately grabs a bucket and motherfucking whomps everyone, including the referee. When the bucket is removed Ikeshita and Ripper drag the babyfaces to the floor and chuck them around, then upon re-entry Ikeshita produces the oldest can of beer you've ever seen and smashes it over Hori's head and I don't know what else there is to say about that woman. Ripper takes an ungodly missed legdrop bump from the top rope and I love that Ikeshita came through in the clutch for her team not by clonking someone with a piece of metal or a tin of beans but rather by whipping out a perfectly executed inside cradle.

How we have missed the Yumi Ikeshita

Yumi Ikeshita v Rimi Yokota (AJW, 8/80)

It's been entirely too long since I've watched any Yumi Ikeshita. How is something like this happening in 1980, btw? It starts hot with Yokota handspringing across the ring, Ikeshita blocking a strike flurry and hitting a quick hurricanrana like this is 2022 Dragon Gate and not nineteen-fucking-eighty. Ikeshita immediately going to the throat was great because nobody works as vicious as Yumi Ikeshita. This might be reactionary on my part but I'm telling you now, if she had a career half as long as someone like an Aja or Ozaki then we're proclaiming her the GOAT running away. I love how she jabs the throat with her thumb, really pulls Yokota's head back by the chin so she has easier access for squeezing the windpipe, drops the shin on the throat, just a bunch of awesome, nasty stuff. She even does the bit where she has the knee across the throat while arguing with the ref' and these early 80s AJW refs let everything go anyway so you sort of worry that Yokota might actually be choked to death. Yokota takes over with the wrist lock and these were some sensational wrist lock takedowns. Ikeshita kips up out of them every time before getting yanked back down, having the wrist twisted and bent at gross angles, it all ruled. I still need to deep dive Yokota and she was pretty great here as the scrappy technical babyface fighting the odds; those odds being long in the first place because of Yumi Ikeshita, but also because of Devil being a plague at ringside with constant interference. In the end this was a bit of a Yumi Ikeshita buffet, where we got a bit of everything from her. We got nasty underhanded Ikeshita with the choking and throat-punching, we got fully out in the open savage Ikeshita with headbutts to make the Fujiwaras weep, we got vicious grappler Ikeshita with these mean looking kneebars, then finally we got chains off psycho Ikeshita when she'd had enough of Yokota and took to stabbing her in the head with a fork. At one point a fan was vocally complaining so Ikeshita stood up on the ropes and threatened to stab him too! Yokota eventually snapping and stabbing both Ikeshita and the ref' with the fork was incredible and I figured that was our DQ ending, but no, the AJW referees are a lenient company so she lets it continue and the last couple minutes were frantic with them trying to score the win before time expires. On the one hand this was an awesome 15-minute draw, but on the other hand it's wildly disappointing because I wanted these two to wrestle for like 45 minutes and I pretty much never want to watch a wrestling match go 45 minutes. So really, my fullest marks possible. In a just world this would've led to a cage match to circumvent the Devil interference. Or there would be at least one more singles match between them because shockingly enough they're great together. 

Up a Creek ain't no Doubt Tenryu's Gonna Paddle with You, go to Bat, go to Church, go to Battle with You

Genichiro Tenryu & Jumbo Tsuruta v Nick Bockwinkel & Curt Hennig (All Japan, 11/23/85) - GOOD

The Real World Tag League sure threw out some of the cooler match ups in wrestling. Maybe less so in the 90s as the promotion became more insular, but throughout the 80s you'd get all sorts of guys rolling through for a tour. I never knew this existed, yet on paper there's at least some low key dream match potential I hadn't considered before. Every match up here is at least interesting, whether that be a new one or the revisiting of an old one. Jumbo v Bockwinkel going another few rounds? Could be decent. Bockwinkel and Tenryu squaring off? Sign me up! How about Tenryu vs a young mutton-chopped Curt Hennig? Sure, why the hell not! I figured we'd get Hennig being worked over as young foreigner in a strange land, but they flip my expectations and he and Bock work as subtle heels. Bock is great from the apron, using his foot to push Hennig's head for extra leverage on a Boston crab, and a couple times he pulled Hennig to the ropes by his trunks when it looked like he was in trouble. Maybe that started to rub off on Curt a little because he was getting in on it more as the match went on. They weren't taking shortcuts as such, not like they would have if they were working actual heel in America, where they'd have milked those spots until someone maybe threw a battery them, but as a tempered version of that it was pretty fun and gave the bout a bit of an edge. Rather than a young Curt going face in peril it was mostly Tenryu being worked over. It was split over two semi-lengthy spells and for the second run it was his leg that was the focus. And Bockwinkel going after a body part will always be worth the price of admission. 

Genichiro Tenryu, Ashura Hara & Toshiaki Kawada v Jumbo Tsuruta, Great Kabuki & Samson Fuyuki (All Japan, 8/21/87) - GREAT

This is the lead-in to the first big Jumbo v Tenryu singles match in the wake of their SCHISM after Choshu's exit. It was supposed to be a regular tag until Kabuki decided to mist Tenryu before the bell, and I guess selling being misted in the face is another thing Tenryu might be the GOAT at. He took this like it was acid and sold the shock of it in a way that's hard to describe beyond "that's about exactly how I'd imagine someone would react to unexpectedly having goo spat in their eyes and face." After that Kawada jumps in for a fight and a young barefoot Fuyuki does the same, so the regular tag becomes a six-man. This was a crazy fun eight minutes, super spirited with tons of intensity and everyone bringing the hate. Fuyuki was fearless here and ran around taking it to his elders, even planting Tenryu with a huge German suplex. Kawada was all over the place but in a good way (prolly) and also fought with the vigour of youth, sometimes foolishly so but in a good way (prolly). His exchanges with Jumbo were great. There was one moment where he whipped Jumbo into the ropes and went for a spin kick, but Jumbo held on and Kawada did about three pirouettes like a man who did not think he was missing that spin kick. Then Jumbo clobbered him, which he did a lot of during this. Hara was sensational as a pissed off lariat-throwing bastard. All of those lariats were first class and landed like a canoe paddle across the chest. Tenryu sold that initial misting for the first few minutes like he wasn't quite right, giving Fuyuki a bunch and making him look like a prodigy. He also ate one AMAZING Kabuki thrust kick and that pairing is right up there with the best. It was a really unselfish Tenryu performance, one where he let some of the other participants shine, but the exchanges with Jumbo still made you want to buy a ticket for their singles match in 10 days. The double teams with Hara looked great, even the front-back double lariat that can sometimes be ropey, and only one double enziguri came off whiffed. Loved the bit where Hara had Jumbo set for the backdrop but Jumbo wasn't budging, so Tenryu hit an enziguri to the back of the head and next thing Jumbo knew he was getting spiked. Impromptu matches is a pro wrestling trope the stodgy All Japan didn't use very often. Maybe they should have because this was a great segment overall. 

Complete & Accurate Tenryu

This was a Tape Piper wasn't Supposed to Break, He was Supposed to Wait but Let's Motivate

Roddy Piper v Jimmy Snuka (No DQ) (WWF, 5/25/84) - GOOD

Did Vince or any of the bookers ever tell the commentators about no DQ stipulations in the WWF? Was it a running gag that the commentators would just slander the refs for letting things slide even though the matches had no disqualifications? Because I seem to remember it happening a bunch and this time Okerlund goes in on our man for not throwing the match out after Piper wellies Snuka with a chair. I was surprised to see Lou Thesz as the guest ref' here (so it's not even a ham n egger Gene is caning) as I figured he hated McMahon and never took anything to do with him or his circus of a company. I'll tell you one thing about Thesz - I wouldn't want to pick a fight with the man. I've drank in enough rough Glasgow pubs and nearly been stabbed by enough regular drinkers in those pubs to know the sort you don't want to fuck around and find out with. Piper does an amazing eyepoke in this, but not his regular one; it was less measured yet more forceful which made it look even nastier than usual. Most of what Snuka does feels like it's building towards the double leapfrog and karate thrust spot, although to be fair it's a cool spot and the people love it. I liked the Piper low blow as a cut off and then him following up with the inverted atomic drop, which isn't a low blow but still looks like something that would hurt down there. I guess there's an IMPLICATION of it being low. Prolly. Snuka's revenge chair shot feels huge and I'm being dead serious when I say Thesz's ref' bump in this makes me want to check out a bunch of NWA champ Lou Thesz. I'm also interested in checking out the Fijian strap match between Piper and Snuka. I have no clue which of those threads I'll pull on first.

Roddy Piper v Hulk Hogan (WWF Wrestling Classic, 11/7/85) - FUN

What's the best Hogan v Piper match? I feel like those two had to have had an amazing spectacle match in them but I couldn't tell you the last time I watched them in a singles match. This is a fun 7-8 minutes. Both guys have charisma, in case you weren't sure. Hogan with the white tights! When did he stop wearing those because they were always cool as a one-off. There's nothing hugely special here overall, but it's a rabid crowd and that'll never hurt. If nothing else you know you're getting energy. Hogan catching Piper coming off the middle turnbuckles and locking him in the bearhug was cool. Piper's sleeper gets a nice nearfall and I think Hogan in general is great at milking a sleeper. Piper using the chair after the ref' bump (which looked good) leads to the big revenge spot later with Hogan also applying his own sleeper and yes, I did in fact like that too. Schmozz finish because of course. There are much worse ways to kill eight minutes. 

Roddy Piper v Randy Savage (WWF, 12/13/86) - GREAT

This was an absolute hoot and if you like these guys even a little then you should watch it. You could call the crowd somewhat hot. Blisteringly so, perhaps. Maybe not surprising as this is in Canada and I guess some people were hip to the fact that Piper was merely a Canadian man PORTRAYING a Scotsman and not ACTUALLY a Scotsman - though we will claim him as one of our own, or at least I will on behalf of our great nation - and I fucking love how there's one guy in the vicinity of our cameraperson (or he and our cameraperson are one and the same?) who is perhaps the biggest Piper fan ever. Piper is over like a bastard and this was mostly him playing the badass, which he's great at. Savage obviously rules as pinball, all of the bumps where he's still wearing his cape looking extra special. It's disappointing that we only have this faraway camera footage when you'd really want multiple TV angles to capture all of the facial expressions and little touches they're great at, but at the same time it's hard to complain when they're playing ALL the way to the back row like this. Savage tries to hide behind Liz at the start and Piper has none of it, reaching around and grabbing Savage by the headband, landing an absolutely fucking incredible punch flurry and then casually holding the ropes open for Liz to step out. Effortlessly cool and it's almost sickening how charismatic that guy was. Great non-finish with perfect timing, which is about all you can ask for considering there was very little chance we were getting a clean finish for the belt on a house show. Piper decking the ref' afterwards got just about the biggest pop of the whole thing too. This might be their best match together but maybe I'll watch that one from 1990 that I haven't seen. They're two of my 10 favourite wrestlers ever so naturally I want everything they did together.

Complete & Accurate Hot Rod