Thursday 30 April 2020

Piper in Portland

Roddy Piper, Buddy Rose, Ed Wiskowski & Killer Brooks v Adrian Adonis, Ron Starr, Hector Guerrero & George Wells (Elimination Match) (Portland, 4/7/79) - EPIC

I love late 70s/early 80s Portland. It feels like I've still only really scratched the surface with it (I think I'll start the 80s Portland set this weekend), but they were running awesome, lengthy main events on TV - usually with the 2/3 falls format - and most of them were built around Buddy Rose. So like, giving one of the ten best wrestlers ever half an hour on free TV every week is quite the treat for us, the gentle viewer. And this pretty much ruled all ends up, with a first fall that would've been great as a standalone match. Piper was incredible here. All four heels were good during the opening babyface shine, but Piper (who was in there the longest) was the standout, while Rose (who was in there the briefest) was your runner up. Everyone was playing all the way to the backest of the back rows, everyone working big and exaggerated and bumping like crazy. For the most part the babyfaces worked the arm(s) so there were lots of armdrag bumps, lots of heels getting launched around then begging off and Adonis hitting a top rope elbow to Piper's outstretched arm looked amazing. Rose's quick stint was a million miles an hour and it's always sort of astounding how he basically moves like a cruiserweight. At one point Starr and Adonis yank Piper into the ring post and I love Piper selling his junk for about five minutes afterwards. There was a bit where he was kneeling on the apron in visible distress and Rose had to rally him around, which was such a cool, understated touch. When the heels finally take over on Starr they really cut the ring off, constantly making quick tags, not letting Starr get close to his corner, always keeping hold of an arm or leg so he can't make a break for it between tags. It's real jarring to see energetic face in peril Ron Starr after all the Puerto Rico footage. His hair is even more majestic in '79 but it's hard to picture him as anything other than the scuzzy bastard punting people in the balls. Wells coming in hot - after a great cat 'n' mouse bit with Starr and Rose - ruled, but the heels finally seize their moment behind the ref's back as Wiskowski hits a diving headbutt for the Wells elimination. The fall lasted about fifteen minutes and it played out like an awesome southern style tag. The heels swarm Adonis to start the next fall, probably having learned from how the first fall started, and Adonis always trying to burst over to his own corner gave it a real nice gritty feel. Hector's short little FIP spell was pretty great as well and his big flapjack bump was an easy 9 out of 10 on the Marty Jannetty scale. What's also great about these Portland matches is that, whether they're 2/3 falls or elimination rules, you can experiment a little with the notes. The shine doesn't always need to lead to the heat which doesn't always need to lead to the hot tag and so on. Sometimes it does and that'll be great too, but it's not a given. Here, the heels take over on Hector, they swarm him and use their numbers advantage, and in the end Hector is just overwhelmed. Piper and Brooks murder him with a few double teams and the ref' can only keep so much control. The heels turning the gun on each other at the end was a nice callback to the end of the first fall and this was really just all kinds of awesome.


Complete & Accurate Hot Rod

Wednesday 29 April 2020

It's 2020 and We Once Again Return to Puerto Rico

Los Invaders (I & II) v Ron & Chicky Starr (5/25/88)

Pretty awesome Puerto Ricofied version of your southern style tag. We got the best of both worlds here, with a great shine segment, a short but great heat segment, then a bit of Puerto Rican wildness to round it off. Basically as soon as this starts both Starrs have been booted in the balls and for the next few minutes they get taken to the cleaners. Invader I holds Chicky so II can blast him, then when Ron comes in to make what looks like the save Invader I quickly spins around with Chicky still held. Ron manages to stop short of clocking his own partner and trudges back onto the apron. A few seconds later Invader I grabs Chicky again, offers II a free shot, and this time when Ron comes in to help he can't quite pull back quick enough to not deck Chicky by accident. When the Starrs do eventually take over the heat segment doesn't last too long, but I love them turning Invader I's mask to the side to effectively blind him while they beat on him. Of course everybody knows his identity anyway, so when he gets a chance he just rips the mask off completely and if that's not an amazing comeback spot I don't know what is. This leads to a brawl where a chair gets introduced, Invader II gets smashes in the throat about twelve times and Invader I is left in a pool of his own blood. Even Colon gets waffled several times for trying to intervene and the close-ups of blood pouring from Invader I's forehead are truly disgusting. This ruled.


Ron & Chicky Starr v Chris & Mark Youngblood (6/1/88)

This was really good too! Unfortunately we miss the transition into the heat segment, but everything else was on the money and made for a rock solid tag. I still don't know for sure the difference between Mark and Chris which I suppose means I'll never qualify for wrestling historian status, but their early control stuff was good. They do a switcheroo or two when Ron and Chicky try to interfere, they're always mindful of whichever heel is on the apron - which is important because Ron especially will try and come in for a cheapshot often - and their armdrags looked fairly graceful. When we come back from the commercial break the Starrs have taken control and the heat segment was pretty strong in its own right. The finish also rules. One of the Youngbloods has Chicky covered in the middle of the ring, but as the referee is sending his partner back to the apron he misses Ron climbing up top. At that point you're thinking a kneedrop to the back of the head is on the way and Chicky is going to steal one, except Mark - I think it was Mark - moves at the last second and Chicky takes the kneedrop instead. Ron gets knocked to the outside and it looks like the Youngbloods have dodged the bullet, but Ron hangs around waiting on the floor and when Mark - or could it be Chris? - goes for a slam on Chicky, Ron trips him and grabs the foot so the Starrs can steal one.

Tuesday 28 April 2020

Piper v Inoki!

Roddy Piper v Antonio Inoki (New Japan, 9/22/77) - GOOD

This was always going to rule as before the match even started you had Lanza outside raving about whatever like a headcase. Piper was really fucking fun, guys. He tries his hardest to make this a scrap, usually by throwing nasty little punches to the side or elbows to the neck, while Inoki tries to keep it on the level. There was one bit where it looked like Inoki was down for a fist fight, but then he dropped to the mat and booted Piper's legs away from him instead. They work a key lock in the middle and I like how Piper stays active in it, always trying to at least shake the arm out. You don't really think of him as a great worker of holds or whatever but he's always scrappy and makes everything feel like a struggle, and there's a sense of realism to things because of it, which is more than I'd say for lots of wrestlers who're supposed to be good mat workers. There's another few matches with Piper in Japan from around this period, one with Choshu which sounds interesting, so I'll give those a look in time.


Some of the other Piper matches I've written up here over the years (just to keep them all in roughly the same place, because I'm weird like that):


Ric Flair & Dewey Robertson v Roddy Piper & Jimmy Snuka (Maple Leaf Wrestling, 5/4/81) - GOOD

Man this was fun. It's about as pure babyface as I've ever seen Flair work. I guess he was already Slick Ric by mid-'81, but it wasn't the same babyface Slick Ric as we'd see later. A lot of babyface Flair felt like a guy who was naturally a prick taking time off from being a prick because he had issue with an even bigger prick. Old man babyface Flair was easy to root for because he was two hundred years old and being brutalised by people seventy years his junior. His biggest hope spots were still low blows or biting someone in the face. Sympathy was easy to come by and he was beloved, but there wasn't much difference between babyface Flair and heel Flair. He was wooing and strutting here, but he did it with a real babyface energy, like he figured he had to work for his reactions rather than taking for granted that he'd get them regardless. He was throwing dropkicks, super fast body punches in place of the chops, working much quicker than usual. No measured knee drops, no flopping, instead we got small packages and house o' fire. Even the figure four was applied quicker than I've ever seen him do it before, and he went into it as a reversal off a Piper knee drop so there was no methodical leg work beforehand. He just did everything at babyface speed and it was super refreshing. The stuff with Piper also ruled and Piper was an awesome shit head with the early stalling, the cheapshots, choking Flair with the tag rope, etc. Snuka didn't exude the same charisma, but he was a fine lieutenant and I liked how he was always trying to cut the ring off, keeping Flair in that heel corner and dragging him back whenever he tried to scoot away. I don't know who Dewey Robertson is but he was fine and played his part in the finish, so I guess he did what he needed to do. Flair even celebrated with him afterwards like he meant it, rather than patting him on the back because he's the Nature Boy and the plebs should be privileged to share in his victory glow. I've somehow seen hardly anything from this Flair/Piper feud, but based on this I'm hyped to check out more.


Greg Valentine v Roddy Piper (Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling, 3/12/83) - GOOD

Every minute of these two matching up is worth watching. Valentine is one of the surliest bastards ever and Piper had that wildness about him where it always felt like a riot was ready to break out. Against Valentine, it usually did. This was about eight minutes long and ended with a run-in to close the show, but it had the same foundation as their best stuff together. The roughness, the ugly strikes, someone getting slapped really hard across the ear, an elbow to the clavicle, the meanest collar-and-elbow tie-up you ever saw. They'd kind of stop for brief little periods and look at each other with total disgust, then they'd go at it again and much clobbering would commence. They captured a real sense of violence that very few others could match. What a pairing.


Roddy Piper v Adrian Adonis (Wrestlemania III, 3/29/87) - GREAT

I've got a lot of time for Piper dropping Springsteen lines in his pre-match promo. "No retreat, baby, no surrender!" Tell'm, Hot Rod! I loved every second of this madness. The crowd are red hot for the whole thing and I loved Piper flinging Jimmy Hart all around the ring early on. He flung him into then onto then damn near through Adonis, whipped them both with a strap, people were going ballistic. Then Adonis took over and I'm a fan of him playing to the exotico gimmick by raking Piper's back and chest. Piper's punch drunk selling ruled and he managed to throw in his GOAT-level eye poke. Adonis and Hart celebrating prematurely after Goodnight Irene, Beefcake morphing into The Barber right before our very eyes (don't know why he was actually out there, don't really care), Adonis smashing himself in the face with a big fuck off pair of shears, the old carny trick of smacking a guy on the neck to wake him up from a sleeper hold, the post-match head shaving, Adonis audibly shouting "WHAT THE FUCK?!" when he sees his reaction in the mirror, I loved all of it. One of the most fun sub-ten minute spectacles in WWF history.


Jerry Lawler v Roddy Piper (King of the Ring, 6/19/94) - FUN

Piper's promo earlier in the show was spectacular. He just goes off on one and makes no sense at all. It was seriously fucking great. Lawler comes out to the ring staring at people with complete disdain. There's this one lady with a sign that says "Piper for President" and Lawler notices it, bursts out laughing, then shoots her a look of pure disgust. If this match happened ten years earlier it probably would've been tremendous. By '94 that ship had sailed, but it's not because either guy sucks (shit, Lawler is STILL awesome in 2011, never mind 1994). Lawler is my personal pick for greatest puncher in pro-wrestling history, and it's unsurprising that he throws a bunch of GREAT looking punches. Piper's punches aren't nearly as good, but what he has is a GREAT eye poke. He casually pokes Lawler in the eye after a flurry of punches and I honestly rewound it about 4 times. Best moment of the match (which is as good as any moment on the entire show) is Lawler peppering Piper with first class punches while Piper is propped up against the ropes. Piper is belligerent to the end, telling him to bring it, spitting on him, using the ropes to drag himself back to his feet. When he throws a big haymaker, Lawler goes down like a ton of bricks and the arena pops like it should. Not a great match, but it's something a fan of either guy can enjoy.


Complete & Accurate Hot Rod

Monday 27 April 2020

Complete & Accurate Roddy Piper




Over the last couple years Piper has become one of my favourite wrestlers ever. The older I get the more I appreciate what he does in the ring, rather than just his amazing rambly promos where he reminds me of my crazy late uncle, or the fact he's a fourteen out of ten on the charisma scale. He's not the slickest wrestler, his execution might be a bit all over the place, but there aren't many who brawl as convincingly and communicate searing hatred like Hot Rod. Has anybody this side of Terry Funk ever sold a perforated eardrum better than Piper? I'm certainly not convinced. His eye poke is also the greatest of all time. Not a single wrestler in history did it better.

I've already written about a few of the Piper classics over the years, including the Valentine series, but there's a shed load of WWF arena footage out there at this point and any time he appears in something I'll at least find it fun. I haven't watched the Rude series in forever, not sure I've seen the Savage series at all, there's a bunch of Georgia and Mid-Atlantic footage available and that Portland run is something I've wanted to watch it its entirety for ages. Maybe he doesn't have the catalogue of a Flair or Bockwinkel or Lawler, but if I find a bunch of fun shit with Piper being Piper then I'll be completely happy.





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Saturday 25 April 2020

Hot Rod v Mr. Wonderful (in the Garden)!

Roddy Piper v Paul Orndorff (WWF, 7/13/85) - GREAT

This is Hot Rod at his best; aggressive, conceited, wild, larger than life, full of hubris. A charismatic force of nature. And this felt like one of those penultimate matches of a feud, the one right before the eventual blow-off, where things threatened to break down a few times without going all the way there, until the finish which would set up Orndorff's exaction of revenge at a later date (I'm assuming they blow this off but I couldn't tell you for sure). Everything was still heated though, and straight from the bell Piper tries to jump Orndorff only to be find himself scouted. I loved how Piper sold having his head rammed into the post, I loved him slapping Orndorff while the latter applied an armbar, I loved Piper's sell of that armbar and how he never forgot about it even when he took over. When he did take over he was so self-assured you wanted nothing more than to see him punched in the mouth. He gave us the all-time great eye poke - honestly one of the very best he's done - and when Orndorff took a spill to the floor Piper soaked up every jeer the people directed at him. Then he went out after Orndorff, despite the referee's protests, and it almost cost him, so when the ref' admonished him a second time Piper was apologetic and anxious for the count out. The way he convulses on the mat at one point is goofy as all get out, but there's a sort of charm to it and I'd rather see a guy like Piper do too much than too little. I threw this on because it popped up on my youtube feed and it turned out to be totally awesome. Life is alright like that sometimes.


Complete & Accurate Hot Rod

Thursday 23 April 2020

Indian Strap AND Texas Bull Rope!

Dusty Rhodes & Wahoo McDaniel v Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard (Indian Strap/Bull Rope Match) (JCP, 3/29/86)

Well this was just the funnest. Bell to bell it's probably about eight minutes tops, but they wring as much out of those eight minutes as possible and the pre- and post-match add another couple bits of awesome onto it. Stipulation is basically a tag match where Dusty and Tully are tied together with the bull rope, while Arn and Wahoo are tied together with the strap. I assume this was put together because Arn and Tully did something to deserve being stuck in a match where BOTH opponents get to draw on their signature stipulation. Obviously they're both reluctant to secure the rope/strap at the start but then even more obvious is that Tully was getting yanked clean into the ring as soon as he finally did so. And man was Tully amazing in this. He did like four things offensively during the match; kick people in the balls, bonk them with a cowbell, dig the edge of that cowbell into their forehead, and try to strangle Dusty with the bull rope. But he bumped around all over the place, got punted out the ring, knocked over the steps, tried to run away, got caught and beat up some more, tried to murder Dusty with the bell (and when he missed there was a super satisfying clunk as it hit the ring apron), then took the best ever flip bump off a 'wrestler gets caught unawares with the rope/strap/chain between his legs' spot. At one point he wrapped Dusty's arm around the top rope and then hooked it around the throat like some sort of torture device, like whatever John Locke did to Boone when he left him in the jungle to be eaten by the smoke monster. He was also buzzing about like a relentless wasp at the family barbecue, trying to come to Arn's aid and put the boots to Wahoo (literally kicked him in the balls several times) before being whipped with a strap or dragged into an elbow. Say whatever you want about him, question his character all you like, but he was a Horseman and he had his brother's back every step of the way here, even at times where he'd have been better served not turning his own. Finish is awesome as well, with Dusty foiling a Horsemen double team and clobbering Arn with the cow bell. Tully flying off the top rope after the bell was incredible, the way he just came out of nowhere to land on Wahoo. I had to rewind it to see how he managed to free himself from Dusty, and with JJ's help they basically unhooked him and tied his end of the bull rope to the bottom ring rope (with JJ keeping hold for good measure), which meant Dusty was helpless for a few seconds. In the end he swings that cowbell and the Horsemen scatter, but not before they leave their mark on Wahoo. This was a fucking hoot.

Wednesday 22 April 2020

Spending Quarantine in Mid-South

Ted DiBiase v Jake Roberts (7/22/85)

Man this was good. The DDT is the most over thing in the world so they spend the first few minutes teasing it, throwing in a little shithousery for good measure, and not doing a whole lot else. It ruled and everyone was crazy for all of it. Jake would apply a headlock and Ted would yank the hair a few times to take him off his feet, then Jake, never shy about stooping to questionable levels even as a babyface, would do the same and of course DiBiase lost his shit and ran to the referee complaining. Three times they tease Jake hitting the DDT, three times DiBiase slips out by the skin of his teeth. Crowd heat goes up and up each time. It ruled. After the third time Williams even dragged DiBiase out the ring to safety, so Jake followed him, chased him around ringside, DiBiase slid back in the ring, and as Jake rolled in after him DiBiase clonked him with an absolute beezer of a fist drop. Like, DiBiase has an all-time fist drop anyhow and this was an all-timer of an all-timer, from the timing to the contact on it to the camera angle to everything. DiBiase loading the glove to take over properly got insane heat, Jake tapping a gusher got insaner heat, then the little scramble to the finish got the insanest heat. I also love Jake's jawbreaker counter to the sleeper hold. That dude always had strong hips because he'd kind of slink upright in one fluid motion and just drop to his butt. Always looked great and it was an awesome spot in this.


Butch Reed v Ted DiBiase (7/25/85)

A fine ten minutes. Structurally it was pretty basic and so was what they did to fill the time, but it's these two working a ten minute studio match so that has a fairly high ceiling right off the bat. It was also impromptu, with Reed scheduled to wrestle a young, blond, impeccably permed Tom Prichard, only for DiBiase to challenge Reed on behalf of Flair as the former was the #1 contender to the latter's world title (and I guess they were doing a bounty type deal where DiBiase would try to take out Reed). So DiBiase tried to start things with a cheapshot and it felt quite hectic straight away. Reed works the headlock and DiBiase can't shake him because of those massive arms. I always liked that about Reed from around this period, how they built him as a guy with a devastating headlock that could cauliflower your ears at best and squeeze your brains out your ears at worst. It was always the foundation of those matches with Flair so it's cool that they played it up on TV with other opponents as well. Short and hot finishing run, a clean finish, an all around Nifty Wee Wrestling Match.


Mid-South Project

Saturday 18 April 2020

Flair v Dusty (they wrestled each other once or twice)

Ric Flair v Dusty Rhodes (JCP, 3/9/86)

This was good. I'm mostly whatever on Flair v Dusty at this point and maybe it's just because their matches have all sort of blended together now, but this one stood out enough that it might be one of their best together. Or at least distinguishable from the rest, but maybe that's because I just watched it right there, but then maybe not. Only goes 19 minutes, which feels short for a Flair arena match from around this period. Flair gets much more offence than I'd have figured and controls for about ten minutes. Dusty shucks and jives early, then Flair just kicks him in the ankle to take over. We get some leg work and even a lengthy figure-four, and when it looks like Dusty is ready to go on a run of offence Flair manages to flip it and stay in control. Dusty doesn't really sell the leg much when Flair isn't actively working it over, but he does at least draw attention to it once when he takes a spill out to the floor. When we get to the Flair on the Ropes portion there's a great bit where Flair initially starts begging off after a flurry of elbows, then maybe decides he's had enough and gets belligerent, so Dusty casually flips him off and drops him with another elbow. Hebnar (any of them) refereeing in Crockett will always be weird to me, but he was never afraid to take a loony toon bump and he really knocked this one out the park. I thought Dusty was no longer allowed to wear his protective boot during matches, but the finish is him being DQd for whacking Flair with said boot (after Flair scored a huge nearfall by whacking Dusty with it), then losing the plot and whacking Hebnar with it too. If I was Earl (or Dave) I'd have fucked off to the WWF as well. A much better working environment, I'm sure.