Virus Might Spend a Week at the Magic Castle, Presidential Suite, Made of Brass and Alabaster

Damiancito El Guerrero v Mascarita Magica (CMLL, 2/27/96) - EPIC

I don't want to compare this to Damiancito/Cicloncito from the following year. That one is such a special and damn near singular match that I suppose it's hard not to, especially when there's a relative paucity of minis stuff to begin with. Comparisons come easier in that respect. But I don't want to compare them, because that's kind of boring. All I'll say is that the Cicloncito match is a top 30 match of all time for me and this one wasn't a million miles off it. I thought it was terrific, obviously. Mascarita Magica doesn't really get talked about as an all-time great mini the same way Damiancito, Espectrito, Cicloncito Ramirez, etc. do, but he could be every bit as spectacular as the latter if we're talking classic tecnicos. The primera was a brilliant matwork fall and the first real example of Mat Wizard Virus that I've seen. Even if he maybe wasn't quite as mindblowing as he'd become, quite as assured as the stocky technician that was having some of the best matches in the world nearly two decades later, he was already doing things here that the majority of other wrestlers would fall on their face attempting. His zip on armdrag bumps is first class as well and he takes one here where he goes flying under the bottom rope and basically dropkicks a hot dog vendor's basket to smithereens. The tercera had a real classic title match feel and the drama built and built as they went. There was one absolutely amazing bit where Damiancito did what I can really only describe as a spin-a-roonie, used his legs to hook Magic by the neck and flip him over into a victory roll cradle, which produced one of the best 2.999 counts I've ever seen in lucha. Cap it off with a fucking doozy of a Mascarita Magica tope and you're onto a winner. This was very great.  

Damiancito El Guerrero v Ultimo Dragoncito (CMLL, 5/13/97) - GOOD

Damiancito in the blue trim! Black and red will always be the iconic colour combo for Damiancito, but a switch up now and then never hurt. Like Hogan wearing all white in the Garden from time to time. This was criminally short, although it was through no real fault of the wrestlers themselves. It looked like it was rolling towards something quality, then the ref' clearly fucked up a count in the segunda, before Dragoncito had even made his comeback, and counted 3 off a fairly routine slam about four minutes in. Stupid. So we basically get one fall and that one fall was really good stuff. Not nearly as spectacular or breathtaking as a certain match we won't compare it to, but then what really is? Even still, Damiancito was doing some amazing things, like using his legs to wrap up Dragoncito's arm in a hammerlock while applying a half crab/Indian deathlock, then rolling out of that and quickly shifting into a different armbar, this time with his hands. The handspring backflip victory roll thing to finish the primera was just a beautiful and absurd bit of work. 

Complete & Accurate Virus

Tenryu Used to Hit the Kitchen Lights, Cockroaches Everywhere. Hit the Kitchen Lights now, it's Marble Floors Everywhere

Genichiro Tenryu & Arashi v Toshiaki Kawada & Mitsuya Nagai (All Japan, 1/2/02) - GREAT

A blistering 10 minutes. Any time a Tenryu tag match starts with him or his partner jumping an opponent before they get in the ring it tends to turn out beautifully, so when Arashi dropkicked Nagai off the apron as he was stepping through the ropes I knew we were set for something great. Nagai has an EXTREMELY punchable mugging face and Arashi dropping him with a forearm was amazing. I don't know if it was all selling or his bell got rung legit, but Nagai's KO sell was truly perfection, going down like a ton of bricks, one leg folding under him at a putrid angle, the kind of faraway stare you get if you're Nate Quarry and Rich Franklin has just landed one on your chin. He actually had three or four absolutely brilliant bits of selling throughout, all of them off of strikes, and considering his partner is often talked about as the best ever at selling a knockout shot...well, maybe Kawada could've learned a thing or two from Mitsuya Nagai is all I'm saying. We actually get an extended run of Tenryu in peril, coming after a 30-second exchange with Kawada where they light each other up. It spills to the floor and as soon as Tenryu is within touching distance of a table he picks it up to swing it. This was like my dog when there's a chew toy close by and he can't help himself. Instinct or whatever, that table was there to be flung at someone. Kawada immediately taking it from him and throwing it away before going back to clobbering him was a total "no you will not be doing that tonight, thank you very much" moment from someone who knows exactly what Tenryu will do if given enough rope. I wish there was a little more weight behind the Tenryu hot tag, but I did like how he gave Nagai a boot in the face before he actually got out of there. It was a very Tenryu move and those are usually the best ones.  

Genichiro Tenryu v Hiroshi Hase (All Japan, 8/30/02) - GOOD

I always somehow forget that Hase was still around in 2002. In my head I just have it that he disappeared from wrestling after 1998 or something. Went to congress and all that. He's a bit chunkier in 2002 but I guess that extra BEEF meant he could hang and bang a little with old man Tenryu. They did a fair amount of hanging and banging and in the end it was a fun greatest hits sort of contest. Hase's uranage was a corker and Tenryu taking the thing like he did at 52 years old is bonkers, then Hase teased the giant swing and I figured there was no way but then there absolutely was a fucking way and I'm surprised Tenryu's head never flew off. Every one of Tenryu's strikes were world class; the chops, the punches, the lariats, all of them. There was one lariat in particular that he used to cut off a leaping Hase and I think he hit him so hard he nearly dislocated his own elbow. The finish was maybe a touch flat, but I find it hard to complain about a match ending on only the fourth big move and not the fourteenth. A top rope brainbuster is still a top rope brainbuster, right?

Complete & Accurate Tenryu

Yoshida v Hotta!

Mariko Yoshida v Yumiko Hotta (AtoZ, 11/9/03)

I guess these joshi promotions of the 2000s really liked running one-night tournaments. We know Tony Khan was a DVDVR poster back in the day, can we be sure he wasn't also one of the three dozen people still following joshi during those dark years? You'd assume he watched a lot of IWA Mid-South but do we know for a fact he didn't develop his fetish for wrestling tournaments from places like AtoZ (which I did not realise before was just a rebranded ARSION) and Ice Ribbon? This was relatively short and compact and had a real nice sense of escalation running through it. The first few minutes weren't anything special, because Hotta isn't the most compelling mat worker, but it didn't feel like they were simply going through the motions either. It got really good when tempers flared, though. I've watched enough 2000s Yoshida recently to figure that eventually she'd punch Hotta in the face at some point, and I've watched enough Hotta from any time period to know how she would respond to that. Yoshida was absolutely clobbering her with shots and Hotta would just punt Yoshida in the face, almost casually which somehow made it even more callous. It wasn't personal for Hotta, no more than the torturer cutting a confession. She just is what she is and this was no more than business. I don't remember ever seeing Yoshida take a shot like the roundhouse kick to the face while she was on her knees. Maybe that made it personal for her and the moment she ripped her glove off and fucking nuked Hotta with a straight right was biblical. You could literally hear this thing. 

Mariko Yoshida v Sakura Hirota (GAEA, 11/3/04)

This was a comedy match and a pretty whimsical six minutes all told. I would assume Hirota is a comedy wrestler by trade, like your Kikutaro who does impressions of other wrestlers. She was dressed in a spider suit getup and credit where it's due, her Yoshida impression was highly amusing. She had the swagger down, did the perfect double biceps pose, and the moment where even Yoshida broke into a chuckle felt legit. 2004 was also a very different time than 2023 so I guess Hirota doing a bunch of creepy weirdo pervert stuff was less frowned upon. She tried to plant the lips on Yoshida at several points and then she broke a submission hold by jabbing her in the butthole with a finger, which is the sort of thing many a 90s message board poster would've paid obscene amounts of money for. Yoshida didn't even punch her in the face once but in the end she did tie her up in enough of a knot that Hirota couldn't sex pest her way out of it. 

Early GAEA was really fun!

Meiko Satomura v KAORU (GAEA, 4/3/96)

This was a 16-year-old Satomura stepping to the 10-year veteran KAORU. There can't have been many wrestlers who have ever been better than Satomura at 16 years of age, although I guess not that many are on TV having actual matches at 16 either. Meiko was full of fire and CHIRP here and was for taking nothing lying down. She was also a dog with a bone, determined to grab KAORU's arm and twist it every chance she got. KAORU gave her more than I would've expected as well. She didn't sell the arm like it was hanging off or anything, never REALLY looked in actual danger, but she let you know that Satomura was landing some hits and that maybe before long they would cause some problems. Satomura's wild flailing-arm running corner block is pretty goofy, but also quite charming as she looks like a baby deer trying to run. I've worked with plenty of teenagers who are all gangly limbs trying to sprint as fast as possible and I guess that's what you get before those rough edges are pared away. KAORU's moonsault is always a thing of beauty and I love that she gave Satomura the kick-out on the first one, a brief look of shock before composing herself with a smirk, making certain on the second moonsault that might've been even prettier than the first (this time a springboard version off the top rope). 

Chigusa Nagayo & Toshie Sato vs. Michiko Ohmukai & Shinobu Kandori (GAEA, 4/29/96)

We miss a few minutes of this, which is a wee bit annoying because the rest of it ruled and really why would you not want every minute? Kandori v Chigusa feels like a Big Fuckin Deal and when they first get in there together the place goes ballistic. Of course these two are amazing at milking that interaction. The first lock-up was electric and then Kandori snapped into a heel hook, Chigusa scrambling for the ropes immediately. It put over the danger of Kandori from the jump. This wasn't Chigusa absorbing blows from her trainees before shutting them down whenever she felt like it. If nothing else her desperation showed that Kandori was an equal, and in the world of GAEA Chigusa didn't have many of those. It also made the crowd even more rabid for everything they did together, and everything they did together was amazing, but so was everything they did beyond that matchup. There were moments where one of those two would come in and help their partner by taking a shot at the other star, usually with a grin on their face. At one point that distracts Kandori long enough for Sato to jump on her and grab a flimsy choke, and Chigusa is a riot cheering her on like "yes, choke her like that!" Kandori is an all-timer in this kind of thing and she takes Sato to the mat and just about throttles her while laughing up at Chigusa. When Kandori tries to hit a running boot Sato catches her and turns it into a dragon screw to an amazing pop, then when Sato applies a kneebar Kandori lounges on an elbow and tries to talk her through the particulars of how to properly do the thing. "No no you need to apply pressure HERE. Look, let me show you." Ohmukai hit a sick jumping knee to the side of Chigusa's head and I thought for sure she'd die for it, but Chigusa only killed her a little bit in the end and even helped her up afterwards. 

Maybe we'll just watch everything Mariko Yoshida did in 1999

Mariko Yoshida v Mika Akino (ARSION, 1/17/99)

An absolutely ferocious Yoshida performance. If you're Akino, a whole six months into your career at this point, you almost need to wonder what you can even do. Go head first at Yoshida and she'll catch you and tie you in knots. Hang back and let her come to you then Yoshida WILL come to you and that might be even worse. Yoshida is just about the greatest swarm in wrestling history and she was all over Akino from the bell, twisting her every which way while Akino had to frantically scramble to keep her head above water. There was an absolutely spectacular exchange where Akino managed to finally buck Yoshida off and they went into kneeling switches for waist control, then when they got up to their feet I thought they were going to do a show of respect and instead Yoshida just kneed Akino in the face and monkey flipped her into a cross armbreaker. The greatness of Yoshida's grappling doesn't necessarily lie in how much cool and inventive shit she does as opposed to the intensity with which she does it all. That said she had at least three holds here that I can't remember ever seeing before and the reverse figure-four thing had my jaw on the floor. None of those holds looked contrived though; they all had logical setups and felt organic. You couldn't see the wheels turning, couldn't see her working through the components in her mind as she was doing them, no "this crosses over this and I do this to put this limb here" or whatever. She snapped into them as quickly as she'd snap into any basic hold and they actually felt like appropriate responses to what the situation gave her at the time. It wasn't a fancy armbar setup just to be fancy, she did it because Akino's proximity and body position made it the most feasible at the time. Just because 95% of wrestlers ever couldn't think of it doesn't mean it's not the smart thing to do. Most of Akino's offence came in bursts but she got to look spunky and explosive and that's about all you can ask for. She also got to look resourceful at points with how she'd attempt one thing and Yoshida would counter it, then if she went back to it a second time she'd switch it up and connect on it. The cool part was that if she went to it TOO often Yoshida would inevitably bring it back around and find yet another solution. That's what Yoshida does and I guess if you're Akino you live and learn. I thought for sure the kid was tapping on at least two choke attempts so she got to look tough as nails by hanging in there and eventually making the ropes. Yoshida was a monster in '99 and I'm looking forward to watching all of it, some for the first time and some for a second time. This was a great way to start off a banner year. 

We watch Mariko Yoshida on days that end in 'Y'

Mariko Yoshida v Aja Kong (ARSION, 10/17/00)

This was a semi-final bout of a one-night tournament (the final of which I talked about a few days ago). It was also an ARSION tournament in Korakuen Hall and not a seven-hour All Japan Women Tournament in the Tokyo Dome, so it wasn't likely to be a lengthy affair. For 10 minutes of brute force against dexterity it'll be hard to go wrong with these two, and this was a badass 10 minutes. At some point in the year 2000 Yoshida started incorporating more striking into her arsenal, and by striking I mean absolutely walloping people in the face with her fists. It meant this had an extra layer to their usual dynamic, where Yoshida didn't have to rely on JUST the grappling and could throw hand grenades when she had openings. She had several openings and threw a goodly amount of hand grenades. Obviously Aja tagged her back and there was one incredible sequence where Yoshida was throwing lefts and rights to the head, Aja standing there out on her feet, then from nowhere she unleashed a back fist that about ripped Yoshida's face in two. In the end though, if Yoshida was going to win she'd need to do it with what she did better than anyone. It was just a question of whether she could do it to someone with as much BEEF as Aja. Or if she could do it before Aja caved her head in. 

Mariko Yoshida & Yumiko Hotta v Sumie Sakai & Megumi Yabushita (AJW, 11/3/02)

I initially came across this when trying to find the Yoshida/Hotta singles match from November 2003 (in a promotion called AtoZ, which I honestly had never heard of in my life). Yoshida and Hotta teaming together seemed interesting if nothing else, and that team against a couple girls who'd only been wrestling for about five years was an interesting spot for them to be in. I figured Hotta would do what she usually did against lower-ranked opponents and I've watched enough peak Yoshida against wrestlers like that to know it's probably going to be good. And this was decent enough, mostly for those reasons, but also for the infighting between Yoshida and Hotta. While it's probably a stretch to assume they used this to build to a singles match a whole year down the line, it must've at least whet the appetite. Hotta was in a sprightlier mood than usual here and I don't think she full force punted anybody in the face even once. She was more condescending than anything else, hooking Sakai in an armbar while grinning up at Yabushita on the apron. The young girls threw a few stiff shots and not once could you say Hotta flew off the handle in response. Yoshida wasn't in as jovial a mood, nor was she particularly interested in playing with her food. The first thing she did when entering the ring was kicking Yabushita in the head and she was very businesslike the whole way. There was one exchange in the middle between her and Yabushita that was excellent, really snappy grappling with Yabushita holding her own admirably. I knew Yabushita was a kickboxer but I didn't know she could bring the MATWORK~ like this. As the match goes on the more cracks between Hotta and Yoshida start to form. Yoshida held one of the youngsters for Hotta to smack, but the youngster moved and Yoshida took the shot instead. It didn't sit well with her and when the shoe was on the other foot later you almost wonder if she wasn't outright aiming for Hotta. They didn't come all the way to blows, but they were close and when Hotta told Yoshida to move so she could put a ribbon on things at the end you know Yoshida wanted to fucking kill her. Luckily I do not have to wait a year before seeing a singles match, although knowing me it'll be a decade before I actually get around to it. 

A little Virus before he was Virus with your 1997 CMLLL

Damiancito El Guerrero & El Fierito v Cicloncito Ramirez & Panterita (CMLL, 9/17/96) - GREAT

You may be shocked to hear that the CMLL minis never just got great in 1997. They were in fact out there doing all sorts of fun stuff the year before. At the very least this was another chance to see Damiancito El Guerrero and Cicloncito Ramirez, one of the all-time great pairings, do their thing. The first caida was really just excellent and I could watch these guys all day. Fierito and Panterita paired off and it wasn't always perfectly crisp, especially if we're comparing it to Damiancito/Cicloncito, but it was super nifty. Panterita looked really slick and worked some great stuff while maintaining wrist control through most of it. Damiancito and Cicloncito were spectacular yet again. Give me everything they ever did. Ramirez is a magician and I don't think it's a huge stretch to say he's about as smooth and graceful as any tecnico ever from the footage we have. Damiancito has that perfect mix of buffoonery and undeniable skill, where he'll fling himself into missed elbow drops and get splatted on throws but is always dangerous when he gets rolling. Plus he's a terror when contorting people. There was one extended sequence between him and Ramirez where they ran through a bunch of stuff and just kept upping the bar, Guerrero missing things and popping up for another run at it, Cicloncito trying to turn him in circles. Damiancito does a go-behind into a hammerlock and Ramirez pops him with an elbow, then later in the same sequence the roles are reversed but Cicloncito ducks the elbow and whips Guerrero across the ring with an armdrag. The finish to the fall was amazing. Damiancito accidentally dropkicks his own partner out the ring and Fierito follows up at 100 miles an hour with a flipping tope, Damiancito then turning around into the perfect hurricanrana from Cicloncito. After some rudo mugging in the segunda they return to Damiancito v Cicloncito in the tercera, this time with Guerrero coming out on top with his awesome Steiner-ish fallaway slam, although the ref' seemed to fuck up the count. A shame, because even a couple more minutes of that pairing would've been a treat.  

Damiancito El Guerrero, Felinito & Pierrothito v Cicloncito Ramirez, Ultimo Dragoncito & Bracito de Oro (CMLL, 2/18/97) - FUN

It would be reductive to say this was a test run for the October match, but you could at least see them putting some of those intricate pieces together. Cicloncito v Pierrothito was really good in the primera and I always like watching the latter beat his chest like a shithead. The last 90 seconds were sort of spectacular and at least a precursor to the amazing stuff they'd do in October. The segunda was short and the rudos took it off the rails immediately, humiliated as they were by the ending to the previous fall. There was no way someone like Pierrothito wasn't going to stomp someone in the kidneys. The tercera was even shorter and ended when Felinito went a step further than kidneys stomped on Oro's willy. The slow-mo made this look like one of the nastiest ball shots ever and I don't know how much of Oro's selling was actually selling!

Complete & Accurate Virus

More 1997 CMLL. Including Casas v Super Porky!

Negro Casas & Black Magic v Brazo de Oro & Brazo de Plata (CMLL, 2/21/97)

This was worth it alone for Casas v Porky. Casas was working stiff as a bastard in '97 and he was trying to roundhouse Porky's sternum in half with Danielson-style kicks to the chest. He hit Oro with an upkick at one point that was straight out the FUTEN playbook. Of course on the other end of that he was amazing at running into the brick wall that was Super Porky. He just bounced off the wee juggernaut several times and then Porky about decapitated him with a clothesline. Casas' bump off a shoulder block was quite frankly incredible and the best part was that it didn't look like he exaggerated it at all. The Brazos work Casas' leg for a little bit and it's good, then they go after his arm, and then Porky just tries to simplify the whole endeavour by smothering him with a headscissors. I expected some amusing Porky comedy and we got that in the back half. First he slips and falls off the apron while trying to come in and break up a submission, then he gets "stuck" climbing under the bottom rope because he's too chubby. His eventual tope was great but unfortunately nobody went careering into the first row.  

Lizmark v Emilio Charles Jr. (CMLL, 5/20/97)

Lizmark is one of those guys I think of as a classic traditional technico. I'm not even sure what that really means, I just know it when I see it sometimes maybe. And I knew it when I saw it here, particularly in that opening caida. He was slick and graceful and all of his grappling was snug and focused and he just carried himself like a champion you'd want to be. Class, poise, whatever you like, he had it. The matwork part didn't last long but was really tight and Lizmark was absolutely on one, especially using the headscissors to escape and set up ripostes. On the other hand Emilio looked almost haggard, at least in a narrative sense, and continually struggled to keep up. Not much of what he tried came off and then Lizmark would just respond with the same thing of his own, only he'd do it successfully. When Emilio tried a monkey flip Lizmark damn near soared and landed expertly on his feet, then caught Emilio on the return with his own monkey flip and Emilio neither soared nor landed on his feet. Then Lizmark hit the tope and put him away with a powerbomb, about as emphatic an ending as you can get. It was a really nice opening fall. The segunda started with Lizmark picking up where he left off, going after Emilio's neck and hitting two big delayed neckbreakers. A couple times Emilio would be sitting slumped over on the mat, that haggardness from before even more pronounced, and Lizmark would just jump on his neck with his whole bodyweight. In the end Emilio comes back and levels it with his own powerbomb, but you're wondering how much he has left going into the deciding fall. The tercera never really builds to a huge climax unfortunately, but it has some moments. Emilio hits one really nasty looking dropkick to the knee and I thought he was going to go after it for a minute, but it never materialises. Emilio looks exhausted and only escapes defeat when he appears to submit to a tapatia and the ref' just...doesn't acknowledge it. Lizmark releases the hold thinking he's won the thing and the ref' is like "sorry, mate." It was kind of strange but also seemed deliberate rather than the ref' making a pig's ear of something. Eventually it spills to the floor and Lizmark hits a big dive off the top leading to the double countout, which isn't the most satisfying finish in the world but just about the only one that you could see not involving Emilio losing. I'm not sure he was entirely genuine with his dissatisfaction after the match. 

2023 Pro Wrestling NOAH. And...Okada??

Kazuchika Okada v Kaito Kiyomiya (NOAH, 2/21/23)

This is the most I've ever enjoyed Okada by a distance. No I'm telling you, a DISTANCE. I do not have a clue who the other guy is and I haven't watched or paid attention to anything to do with NOAH in at least 10 years, so I might be talking horse shit here, but it was kind of crazy to me how the NOAH heavyweight champion was so clearly beneath the IWGP one. Obviously Kiyomiya is much younger and far less established (well, I assume) than Okada, but when I last followed Japanese wrestling with actual interest these companies were treated as being Big Deals on fairly equal footing. I mean I know the gulf between them is substantial now and NOAH was basically on death's door for a minute there, but still, it's sort of jarring. At least with New Japan v WAR you had Tenryu who commanded a bitta by god respect. Kiyomiya was not Tenryu and came across as Kodo Fuyuki with a slimmer waist. I'm not complaining though, because it made things interesting. I have no use for Okada whatsoever but I'll hold my hands up - I thought he was really good in this and never did anything that annoyed me even a wee bit. Obviously he was a prick and that was great. So was the way he demonstrated how little respect he had for Kiyomiya. His derision was palpable. Then he'd give the kid just enough to make himself look vulnerable and in general I thought his selling was really strong. The arm selling was good and I liked how he put across the accumulation of damage. There were subtle moments as well, like when he hit that flapjack as a cutoff after the big German suplex and stayed down a little longer, selling the damage from the suplex itself. It wasn't just a case of him hitting his move to go back on offence again and instead it felt earned. If it needed reiterating I'd never seen Kiyomiya before, and he looked perfectly fine and maybe I'd come to like the feller if I ever decided to watch more than 15 minutes of him, which, cards on the table, I probably won't. He walked the line pretty well between showing defiance and your rote tough guy shouting when hit in the face by a forearm. Ultimately it felt rooted in hierarchy and they put that hierarchal gulf across well. The first big transition where he reversed that DDT into a suplex over the barricade ruled. I also liked the setup to the arm work with the jumping knee to block the Rainmaker, not just because it was cool and made sense but because it stopped the commentators from shouting RRRRRAINMAKEEEEEER which is extremely close to Gabe Sapolsky shouting DANGEROUSSSSS as the cringiest thing ever. The Misawa and Inoki references were also kind of goofy but I get that I'm just grumpy so whatever. Or maybe they were FORESHADOWING~ because Okada picking Kiyomiya up and effectively finishing him with the embodiment of NOAH's own finisher was pretty awesome. I'm almost tempted to watch more of this Okada, if it exists. If he's out here wrestling a tubby modern day version of Tatsuo Nakano I'm all over it! Maybe. 

A little ARSION

Hiromi Yagi & Rie Tamada v Tiger Dream & Ayako Hamada (ARSION, 12/7/98)

This was pretty decent. It was largely go-go and resembled more of your standard joshi tag in terms of pacing and momentum, but ARSION doing a standard go-go joshi tag will be more palatable than the majority of other places doing go-go joshi tags. ARSION matches don't normally go over 15 minutes as well, so it's hard to hit overkill territory even when there's lots of stuff going on. Tamada and Yagi feel like the more cohesive unit here and after the first 10 minutes of mostly back and forth it settles into them trying to rip off Hamada's leg. That the leg work was a direct response to Hamada going after Tamada's taped up shoulder was cool. Hamada managed about 45 seconds of targeting that arm before she was stopped dead, and not once did she get the chance to go back to it. These were some of the quickest, nastiest dragon screws you'll ever see. Yagi and Tamada absolutely wasting Tiger Dream with missile dropkicks from all angles also ruled, as did the double stomps. Good grief the double stomps.

Hiromi Yagi & Rie Tamada v Michiko Ohmukai & Yumi Fukawa (ARSION, 12/18/98)

I don't know why everyone was so chippy before the bell. Fukawa had a stick up her butt about something though, and as soon as the match started they went right to the crowd brawling. We have established many times on this here Whiskey & Wrestling that joshi crowd brawling is the worst, but I did like how they never bothered with the walking and brawling part and instead they just chucked each other into rows of chairs while spectators had to scramble. So as far as joshi crowd brawling goes it was fine enough. Tamada and Yagi felt like the more cohesive unit again, while Fukawa and Ohmukai had individual punchers' chances. Fukawa's puncher's chance was more her ability to roll into tricked out cradles and legbars, but Ohmukai's puncher's chance was very literal as she would look most dangerous when she was smacking people, booting them in the spine, hitting axe kicks to the crown of the head. My favourite part of the match was when Tamada ran at her with a roaring elbow and Ohmukai just punched her dead in the face. That's Ohmukai for you. She'll do that. 

Mariko Yoshida v Ayako Hamada (ARSION, 10/17/00)

This was the final of a one-night tournament and only went 11 minutes. A tournament final, even of one held on a single night, going 11 minutes and not 52 today feels damn near inconceivable. Shit even for 2000 it feels inconceivable, but then ARSION were all about doing things differently for a while there. A great little promotion. For a while there. These two were in a tournament final from '98 that I watched about a year ago now and at that point Ayako Hamada was in a very different place. That match didn't even last 11 minutes and Yoshida basically mopped the floor with the poor lass. I think she even beat her with a foot on the chest and then Hamada got carted out by three people like she was a carcass left in a ditch. Two years later and Hamada is now the grand old age of 19. I guess in pro wrestling terms you grow up quick because she handled herself much better here and at least felt plausibly on Yoshida's level. Yoshida was so fucking good. I don't just mean here, I mean in general. She can demolish you in a dozen different ways and she started this by jumping all over Hamada and trying to yank her into armbars and chokes and anything else she could think up. When Hamada tried to catch her in a bodyscissors, maybe just for a tiny bit of respite if nothing else, Yoshida applied the fucking STOMACH CLAW and then threw some of the greatest body shots she's ever thrown. For a glorious 90 seconds she then worked the midsection with gutbusters and body blows and this was looking like a legitimate 12-star affair. Pretty quickly Hamada made a comeback and they never returned to the body work, but it was amazing while it lasted. You also make peace with them moving past it as Yoshida very soon punches Hamada in the face so hard she starts selling her own hand like she broke it. Yoshida's arm is already taped up so I'm guessing this plays off a previous tournament match, but even on its own it ruled. This was also just about the greatest punch Yoshida's ever thrown. It was largely a sprint from there, but they absolutely blistered each other and I never felt like they went fully into spotty territory. It felt frantic, like two people who've just wrestled twice on the night know the adrenaline is going to wear off pretty soon. Some of the striking was exceptional and you had Hamada recklessly spin kicking Yoshida in the face and neck and Yoshida throwing haymakers. Hamada in particular worked with a real urgency, probably because she knew Yoshida needed to be put away with some haste. She tried one preposterous rolling submission thing that she definitely learned from her old man and Yoshida reversed it into a fucking kimura and I fell out the bed. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't vote Yoshida top 10 in the '26 GWE.

I Spend My Days in the Mid-South Shadows, I Spend My Nights in the Sun. It's Hard to Tell if this Old Uphill Battle is Windin' Down or Just Begun

Dick Murdoch v Ted DiBiase (12/29/85)

One of the greatest boons of the NWA on Demand service was getting this in full. When the original DVDVR Mid-South set was put together we only had 11 minutes of it, missing the first five. It's been nearly 15 years since I last watched this so I don't remember a thing about it now. I know I liked it, but then obviously I would like it, I just don't remember WHY. I'm sure if I could speak to 2009 me he'd want to know if those opening five minutes really were as good as the rest of it. And well, 2023 me would have some good news for him because this was tremendous. It's DiBiase's return from injury after Murdoch jumped him on TV the previous month (after this), and of course he's out for blood. Murdoch goes after him as soon as DiBiase's coming through the ropes and DiBiase hits his amazing powerslam while Murdoch is still in his ring jacket. Which is a pretty great way to start a match. Honestly though, this might be one of the all-time Captain Redneck performances. He lived right in that sweet spot between vicious and craven, forcing the issue when he could but backpedalling and begging off when it looked like DiBiase would build up some steam. The punches looking great was a given, but some of the stomps were ungodly, some of the kicks to the head while DiBiase was on all fours, some of the elbow drops right across the throat, some amazing kneedrops to the neck while DiBiase was crumpled over the ropes. It was the neck that really tied all of this together as well. Murdoch had given DiBiase a brainbuster on concrete during the original angle and DiBiase sold that neck from the beginning here, or at least from the instant Murdoch took a pop at it, which was as good as the beginning. Murdoch really snaps DiBiase into the turnbuckles and Ted takes these crazy whiplash bumps and no wonder his neck was a shambles by like 1991. DiBiase's blood-drenched comeback is great, opening up Murdoch with a fist drop from hell and setting up the finishing run. Murdoch is sensational backing up and bleeding, knowing he's poked the bear but having nowhere to run, getting beaten from corner to corner, bumping on his face with keister in the air. The finishing run felt like a proper finishing run as well. They didn't just take it home after the comeback; they let DiBiase milk the revenge for a spell, then he went for another fist drop and missed, and from there they just kept building drama with DiBiase back behind the 8 ball. Murdoch drops him throat-first over the barricade, then smashes him in the neck repeatedly with the edge of a chair. These were some of the nastiest shots like it I've ever seen and you could even hear the smack off them, just ridiculously brutal stuff. When he hit calf branding off the top it looked like DiBiase was for being paralyzed. I thought the finish was great as well. Earlier in the match DiBiase went to load up the glove, but he never got to do anything with it before Murdoch was able to swarm him. After Murdoch hit calf branding I guess DiBiase knew he needed to play his trump card, so he loaded it up again, then slipped out the back of a brainbuster and rocked Murdoch's jaw. After the bell the Masked Superstar comes out and he and Murdoch try to put DiBiase back in the hospital, so we can all sleep well in the knowledge that this is not merely a one and done feud. 

Mid-South Project

A 1997 instalment of Santo v Felino!

El Hijo del Santo, Blue Panther & Black Warrior v Felino, La Fiera & Atlantis (CMLL, 10/17/97)

Well this was absolutely top banana. The primera was about as good as it gets and each matchup was exceptional. Panther/Atlantis was an exchange up there any they've ever had together and they've had a few. It was sort of breathtaking with just the right mixture of grace and grit. Fiera/Black Warrior wasn't a hunner miles behind it and I guess I should try and find some old man Fiera working the mat. Then we got Santo/Felino and all the history that goes with it. It's been forever since I watched the Santo/Casas apuestas from September, or really any of that feud from '97, but I remember Felino being involved throughout the year. He sided with his brother in that particular dispute and the issue between him and Santo clearly hadn't been resolved, even if the one between Santo and Casas was buried (for the moment). As a pairing this had way more of an edge than the others and it was tetchy right away. Then it quickly became ferocious and really, Santo/Felino is an all-time level pairing. It led to Santo working Felino's leg for a bit, stretching him out with this wild lying stretch muffler. Then they got to slapping the hell out of each other and it broke down into a brawl with everyone involved, which it was always on the verge of after Santo/Felino poisoned the waters of sportsmanship in the first place. The straw that broke the camel's back was when Felino found himself holding Santo in a tombstone position. Santo frantically tried to kick free of it and even if Felino never picked him up to do the move originally, he was sure thinking about it now that the opportunity had presented itself. The commentator was shouting "NO FELINO, NO!" (which was both awesome and hilarious) while Felino seemed to struggle with the idea, but then Black Warrior came in and kicked Felino in the bad leg to make his mind up for him. Santo going fucking ballistic and repeatedly booting Felino in the neck was amazing. I know that rudo Santo was never long for the world for various reasons, but purely from an in-ring standpoint I thought he was great in the role and stuff like that is why. The segunda kept it rolling and the rudos continued their beatdown, again with Felino's leg being the focus. Santo was a vicious bastard, hitting a post-assisted shinbreaker, smashing the leg into the ring apron, headbutting the knee, which as someone who has been kneed in the face before seems questionable, but I can't deny that it looked like Felino came off worse. The tercera is maybe a wee bit short if we're putting it up against the best trios matches of the decade, but it was still tremendous. They return to the pairings from the primera and this time they up the intensity, with Santo/Felino remaining the central thread. Atlantis sent Panther flying through the ropes, Fiera spin kicked Black Warrior off the top turnbuckle to the floor, and then Santo and Felino got to take yet another run at each other. Santo clearly tries to punt Felino in the balls and Felino reverses it with a leg sweep and the quickest sunset flip you've ever seen, low-angled with wicked snap on it. When they get to trading chops I love how Santo throws his hands up and walks away like the whole thing was uncalled for, then we get some symmetry with the first caida when another one of Santo's teammates jumps in and kicks Felino in the leg. Which again leads to things breaking down and Santo crushing Felino with a tope suicida. This wasn't a thing of beauty like your usual Santo tope -- this one had the malice behind it and looked a wee bit ragged, but it was no less impactful and of course Felino never came back from it. 

We're watching 1997 CMLL!

Negro Casas, Silver King & La Fiera v Rambo, Gran Markus Jr. & Mano Negra (CMLL, 1/1/97)

This was some nice whimsical lucha libre. The primera had its share of comedy without veering all the way into slapstick territory and all of the pairings were really fun. The tecnicos made the rudos look foolish and the rudos never responded by trying to carve the tecnicos' foreheads open, so things stayed fairly PG. Rambo yanked Casas to the mat by the hair, then when Casas tried to return the favour his hands came away with nothing, because you can't very well grab the hair of a man whose head has just been freshly shaved, can you? So Casas dropkicked him out the ring instead and Rambo flew up the ramp, stole someone's beer and started walking back to the ring with it - presumably to use as a weapon - before thinking better of it and handing it to a different fan, who was visibly delighted at obtaining free beer. See, whimsical. Fiera stands on the top rope and practically lifts Mano Negra, who was standing on the canvas, up to eye level by the hair. Fiera at this point looks almost too scuzzy to be a tecnico but who am I to judge a book by its cover? Gran Markus is DEFINITELY too portly to be slammed by Silver King (he is extremely portly) and reverses it into his own with almost absurd ease, then misses a splash and when they end up on the floor he boots the ring board by accident. Markus essentially assisting Casas with a double powerbomb to finish the fall was a hell of a comedy spot. The segunda starts a little less whimsically as Gran Markus literally grabs Fiera by the junk and won't let go, while Mano Negra chokes Fiera so the referee admonishes that and misses the junk-squeezing. Which...I don't think I've ever seen before to be honest. After that the story of the match is basically Silver King turning rudo on his partners. I don't even know what set him off but I think Casas bore the brunt of his sulking initially. I wonder what it says that of all the matches I've seen like this, where a wrestler shifts allegiances mid-match, a good many of them have ended with at least one of Negro Casas' teammates wanting to beat him to death. Casas gets isolated and repeatedly tries to tag out, but Silver King is having none of it and won't even acknowledge Casas. Neither Casas not Fiera can understand why Silver King has a stick up his butt. It never breaks down completely and Silver King doesn't go full rudo or anything, but I get the sense they pulled the trigger on that a few weeks down the line. The closest it came to proper blows was when the rudos triple-teamed Fiera and Silver King just watched on from the apron, one foot on the bottom rope, looking like he could not be any less arsed. In the end he basically throws the match for his team, submitting under relatively little duress, clearly not bothered about putting up much of a fight. I'd be down for Silver King against either of his partners if that's what this is leading to. I guess I'll have a look, won't I?

Negro Casas has no Friends!

Negro Casas, Black Magic & Mogur v El Dandy, Pierroth Jr. & Chamaco Valaguez (CMLL, 8/1/93)

I stuck this on late last night because I wanted to watch something relatively short with Negro Casas in it before I went to sleep. I barely registered the participants until it started and oh it's Negro Casas v El Dandy I bet that'll be good. Honestly, it didn't feel like a whole lot actually happened in this. There wasn't a ton of actual wrestling and really the only pairing that seemed to get any consistent time together was Mogur v Chamaco Valaguez. Those two were the team captains and I guess it was setting up an apuestas, so that made sense. Ring time for the others was sort of scarce, and most of what they did was needling on the apron or around the ring without properly coming to blows inside it. So in that sense it wasn't much of a match, but it WAS 20 minutes of Negro Casas running around like an idiot. By the end I think everyone wanted to take a swing at him and that's including his own teammates. He and Dandy paired off, such as it were, and it was niggly and Dandy was ready to scrap and Casas really wasn't. At a few points he tried reasoning with Dandy, then for a brief second they started trading blows, then Casas patted him on the chest like "okay big man you win" and he just walked away. In the tercera Casas and Black Magic got into a shouting contest over something or other and Magic was ready to scrap in their own corner. Casas, of course, really wasn't. The best part was when Magic went down from a gut shot and started claiming he'd been fouled, and Casas just stepped in and wagged his finger in his face, calling out the bullshit for what it was. If I could've had anything here it would've been an extended Casas/Dandy section, one where they actually get to wrestle, or failing that, punch each other in the face for a while. If not that then some Casas v Pierroth. We never got either of those things and I'm not sure that what we did get was the next best thing, but I'll also never complain about 20 minutes of Negro Casas acting the fool. 

Way Up on the Mid-South Mountain there Ain't Nobody Countin' Exactly when the Mad Dog's Going to Fly.

Dr. Death v Dick Slater (12/18/85)

For two guys who spent a decent chunk of time working for Watts, this isn't really a matchup I remember seeing a lot of. On paper it feels like it would work though, and it surely did. They open with the ROUGH N RUGGED Mid-South Wrestling approximation of an indie parity sequence and even Joe Watts being turbo obnoxious didn't detract from it actually being pretty damn cool. I guess there's that old line about Watts wanting his heels to look like competent wrestlers first and foremost, and the first few minutes here established that Slater is no joke, even if deep down he's a redneck cheapshot artist. That DESPICABLE woman by his side would do him no favours either, should he ever want to turn himself onto the righteous path. It's always amusing how Dark Journey was treated as a real terror even though she barely ever did anything. Had Watts ever seen Sherri Martel? Slater brought some really nice offence to this, first with his big swinging neckbreaker and then a great Russian leg sweep when Williams tried to counter a top wristlock. Williams' comeback was nicely built leading to the Oklahoma Stampede and that headbutt sequence where he does the burpees in between. Watts (Joel) was even more screechy than Ross about how athletic the big fella was. In the end Dark Journey does get involved and Ross sounds more southern than I've ever heard him when she digs her FANGERnails in Williams' eyes. 

Hacksaw Duggan v Buzz Sawyer (Dog Collar Match) (12/27/85)

Another night, another Hacksaw v Mad Dog CLINIC. Sawyer with a dog collar is about as sure a thing as you'll get and Duggan stumbling around bleeding and getting clobbered by a chain isn't far behind it. Hacksaw was unbelievable in this, first in how he just whomped Sawyer up and down the place. His chain-wrapped punches might be the best ever, the way they seem to be thrown with a little extra weight, which I guess makes sense considering they actually do have extra weight behind them. It's hard to slow down the speed with which you throw an already-worked punch and have it look good, but Duggan was great at it and those shots looked like they'd cave your face in. He was also folding up a length of chain and whipping Sawyer in the shoulder and neck with the thing, never letting Sawyer get too far away from him, sometimes just standing tall and bracing every muscle in his body so that Sawyer couldn't run even when he tried to. Sawyer will always find ways of being the nastiest prick imaginable in a match like this. He whipped Duggan in the knuckles with a length of chain early, then pulled it taut and jabbed it into Duggan's eyes to cut him off. In one particularly gruesome moment he started biting Duggan in the bloody forehead then stepped back, spat some blood in the air, then reached out a hand as if he was trying to catch a chunk of Duggan on its way down. Duggan's comeback was spectacular, finally noticing the blood on his hands and roaring like a Kodiak with every shot Sawyer threw at him. Duggan did that type of roaring comeback - in a very literal sense - better than just about anyone ever and the people were going ballistic. By the end they're both gushing blood and Boesch makes a good point about it feeling like they'd inflicted about an hour's worth of punishment on each other in 10 minutes. What you'll also get in a Buzz Sawyer dog collar match is a great finish, and this one was great and fittingly brutal. Duggan chucks Sawyer over the ropes, but obviously Sawyer is left hung up there by the chain. When Duggan goes to drag him back in again Sawyer reaches down by the side of the apron for a chair, the same chair Duggan had rammed Sawyer into earlier in the match, and Sawyer wings the thing behind him into Duggan's head. What a pairing this is. 

Mid-South Project

The Guerreros are Packing it Up and Rollin' on out to Mid-South, for Some Wasted Youth and a Fresh Set of Lonely Stars

Chavo & Hector Guerrero v The Fabulous Ones (12/27/85)

This is the Fabs' debut in Houston, and a match I think we only had JIP'd back during the original Mid-South project. NWA on Demand gave us the full version a few years ago and it's pretty cool that that was a thing for a while. These are two of my five favourite tag teams ever and of course I thought this ruled. The Fabs established right away that they are not a pair of gentlemen you want to cheer, just from the way they were getting in Tommy Gilbert's ear. The match hadn't even started and you could tell Gilbert had had enough. Then Lane is complaining about the Guerreros pulling tights and Keirn was riling up fans from the apron. I think he intimated that one person had no teeth, which was quite frankly exceptional. Chavo and Hector are always fun working the arm so obviously the shine was good. I get a kick out of Boesch pointing out that Lane and Keirn have similar builds, heads of hair and beards and then spending the next 10 minutes not knowing who's Stan Lane and who's Steve Keirn. The Fabs are just awesome after they take over on Chavo, dragging the referee every which way while goading Hector into the ring. Gilbert has to WORK to keep Hector out as well - there were no half-arsed attempts at making the save here, Hector was irate and wanted a piece. When he finally does get the hot tag - after Chavo somersaults around the ring out of Lane's grasp - he comes in hitting dropkicks, and Hector has a quality dropkick so you can add that to the long list of things he does well. The finish really is one of the best bits of heel switcheroo you'll get. This is an awesome matchup and this was an awesome first instalment of it. 

Complete & Accurate Guerrero Brothers

Mid-South Project

The Superstar and the King (and the King's Wife)!

Jerry Lawler v Bill Dundee (Dundee's Title v Lawler & His Wife's Hair) (Memphis, 12/21/85)

The greatest matchup in US wrestling history produces yet again. We're all absolutely stunned, I'm sure. I remember when this was unearthed and a bunch of us on PWO did a bulk buy of the Memphis TV discs, eager one and all for a brand new Lawler v Dundee match, unedited and in pristine quality. How it's taken me over 10 years to watch the thing I'm not sure, but either way it was worth the wait.

This iteration of the Lawler/Dundee feud - and there have been many of them - is my favourite. The build up from the October angle on TV to the first blowoff a week after this is just magic pro wrestling, then they keep Lawler off TV for three months and he comes back with a vengeance for the full blowoff later in the year. I watched that whole October angle the other night and no joke, it might be the best bit of TV wrestling ever produced. Dundee had only been back in the territory for a minute, having spent the last couple years in Mid-South. He'd been teaming with Lawler since returning and on this particular episode he was fired up to the moon and back. He had it that he and Lawler were the best tag team in the country, then the Fabs objected on account of them having the title belts that would say otherwise. Dundee wasn't ENTIRELY a dick about it, but he figured it might be worth having a match then and there to see who was right. Lawler tried to diffuse the situation and ceded that the Fabs technically do have a point. They're the tag champs so they'd have the best claim to being the #1 tag team...just like he'd have the best claim as #1 singles wrestler, on account of him having the southern heavyweight title. You know, if he or anyone else wanted to make that claim. Obviously that didn't diffuse shit and Dundee intimated that Lawler was maybe dodging a match with the Fabs because he was a little scared. "If you're scared all you need to do is say it." Lawler was ready to be done with their short-lived team then and there, so Dundee swung at him, then swung and Keirn and Lane, then hightailed it. Later on the show Dundee goads Lawler into defending the southern title there on TV, then uses a chain to beat him and win the thing, then refuses to sign on for Lawler's rematch. Dundee cites that he doesn't need to defend the belt for 30 days, and it just so happens that the world champion is coming to town in *29* days to wrestle the southern champion...who now happens to be him. So Dundee won't just give Lawler a title shot in a month, he'll hand the belt to Lawler personally, since he'll have his hands full with the world title. Dundee was incredible through all of this, just the most obnoxious annoying little prick imaginable, and Lawler finally getting Dundee to agree to a title shot by threatening his car with a ball bat was doubly great. Of course Lance was absolutely perfect holding everything together, the best straight man in the history of the game. 

And then eventually we come to this. Dundee had lost the belt to Koko at some point (which led to Koko v Flair in November) and then evidently won it back later, because now it's Dundee's southern title on the line against Lawler and his wife Paula's hair. Dundee was a terror here, possibly even more so than a week later where he spent about 60% of the match punching Lawler in his partially blinded eye. Lawler wasn't blinded at this point but Dundee took even more of the match. This was like 90% Dundee; by far the most I've seen him take against the King. Luckily Bill Dundee beating the brakes off someone works a treat and just about everything he did here looked amazing. Obviously the punches were spectacular, but there were little vicious moments on top of the punches that elevated this to another level. At one point he hit a running double stomp that looked fucking brutal, and then later he hit one off the middle rope that I thought ruptured Lawler's spleen. Anything Lawler tried in response was promptly shut down and once or twice Dundee did it by doing the exact same thing Lawler had originally tried, only better and with more venom behind it. Lawler goes for an armbar early in the match and Dundee immediately reverses it into a hammerlock, then gets Lawler on the mat and repeatedly stomps on the arm. Lawler finds himself standing on the apron after Dundee had chucked him over the ropes a minute earlier, so Dundee just runs over and bounces him off, Lawler flying into the announce desk and ringing the bell with his forehead. Dundee tries to choke the life out of Lawler with the security rope, throws him sternum-first into the stanchions that hold those security ropes in place, then picks one of them up and smashes it into Lawler's kidneys. Dundee even takes a second to climb the turnbuckles and do his little jig on the top rope, then as Lawler climbs back in the ring Dundee walks along the top rope like a trapeze artist before dropping down and clobbering Lawler yet again. While Lawler was woozy on the mat Dundee even took the opportunity to stomp on his fingers. Every chance he had to inflict some sort of punishment he took it. 

With Dundee taking so much of the match on offence it naturally meant Lawler spent the majority of it selling and bumping and absorbing all of that offence. If it wasn't for his performance a week later it might've been my favourite Lawler on the back foot performance ever. He was getting rocked from word one, selling the beatdown even in those fleeting moments where he was able to mount something resembling a comeback. When he hit the piledriver he couldn't even capitalise, had to take a beat just to gather himself before covering, and by then Dundee had recovered. It was practically Lawler's first serious offence in the whole match so it made sense that Dundee wouldn't stay down for long, and shortly after that Dundee was back to cleaning his clock. The way they flipped the big Lawler comeback was amazing and maybe the best part of the match. Lawler had gotten next to nothing so when he whips down the strap you think things are going a different route. But then Dundee fucking drills him with a haymaker and Lawler's right back on the canvas. He wrestles about half the match with the strap down getting pummelled. When he tries his next big comeback towards the end, strap already down, Dundee reverses it again and dumps him over the top rope. 

I guess I could go either way on the finish, but taken in context, given what they were building to a week later, I think it works. Dundee had taken multiple swipes at referee Jerry Calhoun throughout the match and Calhoun had taken his licks like a trooper. When Lawler finally builds up some proper steam Dundee tries to get ahead of it, pulling a chain out of his trunks, knowing that even a little momentum for Lawler could go from snowball to avalanche. He comes flying out the corner to hit Lawler, but Calhoun grabs the arm mid-punch and that allows Lawler to roll Dundee up for the 3. I guess it was a banana peel, but at least there was a nice bit of comeuppance leading to it. It's about as close to payback as you'll get for a referee without going full Gene Kiniski. And if they were to use it to set up an even better match a week later, well, who am I to argue? 

Badstreet comes to Memphis!

PYT Express v Fabulous Ones (Memphis, 6/25/84)

I think the only Fabs matches I've watched over the last couple years have been wild blood-soaked brawls with the Moondogs and Sheepherders, and that one match from the Crockett Cup where they worked heel against the Fantastics. So I guess I forgot how good they were as traditional babyfaces working a traditional southern tag. This was pretty great and it's a crying shame we miss the first five minutes. The Fabs were a blast early on during the shine, my favourite part being Lane putting a toe hold on Koko and goading Austin into the ring, then as Austin tries to get a hold of him Lane keeps turning in circles while maintaining the toe hold on Koko. Some of the blind tag shtick was maybe a little EGREGIOUS as Lane and Keirn surely don't look enough alike that Calhoun couldn't tell the difference, and they weren't even making the clapping sound to sell it. Even the Conquistadores would do that and them boys were full gold head to toe. At the same time the 1984 TikTok scene might've been even MORE rife with carbon copy blond-haired white guys doing silly dances so who am I to criticise anyone, let alone a professional wrestling referee? I don't remember the transition spot being great or anything, but after the PYTs take over it gets awesome. Koko was so good here. Obviously I've watched a bunch of him recently and I can't believe I thought voting him #70 in the 2016 GWE was too high. Stupid. I definitely had him 64 spots too low. Seriously, there's hardly anyone better at just swarming a guy, dragging a referee out of position so his partner can pick up from there, then reposition himself so he can go back to swarming as his partner deals with the ref'. He'll just leap out of nowhere off the top with an axe handle or whatever and he has grade-A Memphis punches and then he'll hit the dropkick and we all fall out the bed. Keirn getting fed up with it all and doing the switcheroo at the end kind of ruled, especially with how he popped up after playing possum and stared at Koko with murder in his eyes. 

Jerry Lawler & Austin Idol v Michael Hayes & Terry Gordy (Badstreet Match) (Memphis, 8/12/85)

Lawler as the only one wearing his actual ring attire to a come-as-you-are street fight is a very Jerry the King Lawler thing to do. Michael Hayes in a 10-minute bar brawl is just about as can't fail a prospect as you can get in the 80s. He was great here, bouncing around off Lawler and Idol punches before taking his boot off and walloping people when the time came. At one point the camera pans to a wide shot of Idol getting clobbered in the ring off Gordy as Hayes moonwalks across the apron. It was very tremendous. Idol was so good on the apron here, dropping down and banging the canvas from the floor to get the people behind Lawler's comeback, always animated and full of energy. Good apron work is worth talking about and the Universal Heartthrob was always one of the best at it. He was also great when he got in the actual ring and I completely forgot about him pulling THE biggest pair of scissors you've ever seen out of his boot. These things were fucking garden shears and I fully bought him wanting to stab Hayes in the head with them. Hayes ending up with them and ACTUALLY stabbing the ref' in the head was nuts, then we get some carnage with folk flying over announce tables and Gordy trying to use Lawler as a human shield so he also doesn't get stabbed with scissors. I couldn't remember a thing about this from back during the DVDVR Memphis project and lo and behold it was very good. You're every bit as shocked as me. 

Down in Florida with Dory

Butch Reed v Dory Funk Jr. (Florida, 2/20/82)

This might be a top 5 Dory match. It was almost a case of veteran technician versus young stud athlete. Reed's only about three years into his career, not quite fully formed or polished yet, but it felt like could use his raw athleticism here to make up for any lack of experience or technical proficiency (or, you know, whatever). This was like young Shaq. It didn't matter if he couldn't shoot a free throw when he could just take the ball on the block and bully any old white guy you threw at him. Early on Dory hit a shoulder tackle off the ropes and Reed just rolled backwards, popped up his feet again in one motion, and Dory had to take a beat to reconsider his next move. Reed might not have the mechanics totally down yet but when he wants to pick you up and throw you there's not a lot you can do about it. His gorilla press slam looked great and it was almost jarring seeing a former NWA Champion take a Butch Reed gorilla press slam and land in a regular flat back bump. Dory makes several attempts at a vertical suplex but can only get Reed halfway up, then Reed reverses it into his own through sheer strength. There was a great bit where Dory seemed to realise what he was really up against when Reed almost grabbed him for a body slam and Dory immediately scooted back into the safety of the corner. I thought Dory was really solid in his role, stoic and surly, working a great headlock early, and to his credit he obliterated Reed with a few forearm uppercuts. The headlock part was doubly cool because essentially it's a move where you're squeezing a guy's head as hard as possible, and as we've established that's something Reed could probably do better, which he eventually does as Dory tries frantically to shake him and Reed keeps hold of it the whole time. I'm not sure Dory had the zip for the rope-running sequence towards the end, but I like that he even tried it and the fact he couldn't jump as high as Reed might even have saved him on the double KO. It must be said, however, that the finish itself is very not good, even by early 80s standards. If you're Reed, what, you're just going to let Dory piledrive you? Silly ref'. Try doing the professional wrestling for five minutes, will you.   

Koko Ware Retrospective #2: Sweet Brown Sugar (part 1)

Koko Ware, Dream Machine, Nightmare, Speed & Jimmy Hart v Dutch Mantell, Bill Dundee, Steve Keirn, Rick Gibson & Robert Gibson (Memphis, 9/19/81)

Koko has thrown his lot in with Hart and the First Family, thus beginning the amazing heel Koko Ware run (and soon-to-be even more amazing heel team with Bobby Eaton). There actually wasn't a ton of Koko in this, but it was a super fun 10 minutes and really how could it not be with those participants? Dutch tried to jump Koko at one point and I'm not sure Koko expected it because he fucking HURLED himself out the ring to safety. Jimmy was so good in this. Obviously he had no intention of getting in there unless the deck was stacked completely in his favour. That happens once where he puts the boots to Dundee, then Bill comes back at him and Hart is out of there like a shot. There were three or four instances where the babyfaces just ran around to that side of the ring and Jimmy leaped over the fucking announce desk while Lance got peeved at it all. 

Sweet Brown Sugar & Dream Machine v Rick & Robert Gibson (Memphis, 9/26/81)

Koko has now started going by Sweet Brown Sugar. Koko's the first Sweet Brown Sugar I was ever aware of in the world of professional wrestling and naturally I fell in love immediately, so there have been many disappointing realisations over the years when perusing tape lists that Skip Young was also going by Sweet Brown Sugar down in Florida (and to be fair to Skip, he was the first Sweet Brown Sugar). I cannot articulate my joy at finding a tag match with Tenryu and Ashura Hara against the Destroyer and Sweet Brown Sugar. Neither can I articulate my despondency upon realising it was Skip Brown Sugar and not Koko. No offence intended to our man Skip. Anyhow, this was another really fun 10 minutes. Jimmy Hart is running around with a big stick, wearing a yellow jumpsuit like Uma Thurman. He got under Rick Gibson's skin so deep that Gibson would outright chase him away from ringside repeatedly, often to the point where he'd lose sight of Koko and Dream Machine entirely. Sometimes that even left Robert alone to be beaten on. Jimmy was hilarious trying over and over to come back out from the curtain like your little brother when yer ma keeps sending him back to tell you it's HIS turn on the PlayStation.

Sweet Brown Sugar & Stan Lane v Bill Dundee & Roy Rogers (Memphis, 10/3/81)

You know, we always talk about Koko/Eaton being the lost Midnight Express, but Koko/Lane might just be the lost Heavenly Bodies. There are only so many ways to say "this was a fun 10 minutes" but what can I tell you, this was a fun 10 minutes. Koko was pinballing around off amazing Dundee punches, including one coming off the ropes where it looked like Dundee was trying to jam his fist through the back of Koko's head. Koko also gets mad height on those fist drops and I love that he'll make a beeline straight for the tag whenever things are getting a little out of hand. Jimmy Hart running around gibbering like an idiot prompting Lance to mutter "aw go and siddown, Hart" was also perfect. 

Sweet Brown Sugar v Jerry Lawler (Memphis, 10/5/81)

Aw man I wish we had this in full. We only get five minutes of it and honestly, what was actually shown made it look like one of the greatest 5-minute matches ever - and it was spliced together well enough that I could believe it only went seven - but I'm pretty sure they announced at one point that 15 minutes had gone and really it's a travesty that we don't have them. Still, I will reiterate that what we saw of it ruled like a bastard. Koko is spectacular here, really playing to the arena crowd by being the sort of shithead you could see alllll the way in that back row. When Lawler tries to backdrop him Koko flips out like fucking Tiger Mask, getting more height than even Sayama would, then does the most amazing little celebratory jig you've ever seen. Lawler tries several times to punch him and Koko ducks, dodges and dances each time, Lawler getting more and more irritated with every miss. I've lost count of how many times I've mentioned the Koko Ware dropkick, and I mentioned it all those times with good reason, but I think because that thing was SO good I almost forgot that Koko was also an unbelievable puncher. He would avoid those Lawler punches and tag him back repeatedly and it was just brilliant heat-building. When Koko lands on his feet and starts dancing off the fourth backdrop attempt Lawler rips down the strap then and there and fucking obliterates Koko with a right hand mid-2-step! It wasn't the big comeback, Koko hadn't done enough where one was warranted yet, it was just a moment of rage boiling over, like Thor calling on the hammer to clobber a shoplifter. Probably unnecessary in the grand scheme of things, but play stupid games you win stupid prizes. Koko running through a bunch of Lawler signature spots after that was amazing. The level of difficulty on making Jerry Lawler signature punches look good must be through the roof, yet here was Koko hitting a top rope fist drop and the kneeling punch flurry and I'll be damned if they never looked great. Truly a testament to our man Koko. And then obviously Lawler paid him back and even if all those 'Purple Rain' covers are cool and everything there's nobody who can do it quite like the one and only. 

Sweet Brown Sugar & Stan Lane v Ricky Morton & Eddie Gilbert (Memphis, 10/10/81)

This was perfect Memphis studio wrestling. What I think Memphis did better than any territory during the 80s was blend angles and interviews and matches into a seamless singular package, all on TV. Before the bell here Jimmy Hart was going IRATE about something to do with Jerry Calhoun, long-time Memphis referee. I honestly don't remember anything about the Hart/Calhoun feud from around this time but pretty soon Calhoun comes out shirtless, Lawler by his side, and seconds later Hart and Calhoun are rolling around shirtless taking wild windmill swings at each other. That lit a fire under the audience so they were hot for the eventual match. And the match itself was a wonderful eight minutes, really just the best sort of TV wrestling. It's a bit more traditionally structured than your hectic studio bout so we get defined segments. The first third was mostly about Morton and Gilbert controlling and they did it with a vice grip on Stan Lane's arm. There was one extended hammerlock segment where Lane would keep trying to shake them only to get dragged back into it, hitting a slam while Gilbert still has his arm hammerlocked, Gilbert refusing to release and rolling through to maintain it. Morton and Gilbert make quick tags while passing the hold between one another and it was all nifty stuff. Eventually we go into Morton in peril, and in case anyone's wondering Ricky Morton was already fucking great by 1981. The transition ruled with Morton knocking Koko off the apron as the latter tried to interfere, turning around into Lane's diving headbutt to the gut. Lane hits a nice gutwrench suplex and has this cool takedown clothesline, like an STO without the leg sweep. Koko holds Morton in an abdominal stretch so Lane can karate kick him in the ribs and Stan Lane also ruled in case anyone was wondering. There was one amazing Morton hope spot where Koko backed him into the corner and Morton hit this upkick/dropkick thing that nearly decapitated Koko. Koko pulling a chain out and clocking him with an A+ punch was of course awesome. I'm repeating myself, but Koko and Lane were so good together. 

Sweet Brown Sugar v Rick Gibson (Memphis, 10/17/81)

Okay what in the fuck? As far as eight-minute studio matches go this was six and a quarter stars. With a couple more minutes and a proper finish it might've achieved studio match royalty. Koko had folk on strings before the thing even started by trying to flip into the ring and landing on his arse Whether it was deliberate or he really did fluff the landing I'm not sure, but does it really matter when you have their attention from the jump? When it started properly he was incredible taunting and dancing like an idiot, in much the same way as against Lawler. This was possibly even better in fact, because the camera was right there and you could see more clearly the annoyance on Gibson's face, and more importantly the joy on Koko's. Koko was shuffling and shadow boxing and when Gibson took a swing at him Koko went to the ref' like "hey watch that fist there, partner." Koko's exaggerated head bob while leaning against the ropes was genuinely funny stuff. They do a double dropkick spot that allows Gibson to briefly take over, but then a minute later Koko is back to avoiding getting hit and chicken dancing like a prick. It was amazing and Gibson hit him with one punch that really did not look pulled. I think Koko might've worked the worker! After a few nice exchanges Koko takes over when Gibson goes shoulder-first into the post and from there Koko goes to THE CHAIN~. I guess everyone who worked Memphis for any reasonable amount of time just got great at hiding the foreign object shtick? In the end the match gets thrown out when Jimmy whacks Gibson with a stick, but we don't have time to rest as a post-match brawl kicks off with the First Family and Lawler and Jerry Calhoun arriving. And I'll be fucked if I'm not ready to lay down some hard-earned cash for a Jimmy Hart v Jerry Calhoun match. 

Whiskey & Wrestling 1200!

Twelve hundred!!! If you'd told me when I started this thing that I'd make it to TWO hundred I'd have laughed in your face and spat on your shoes. But then my granny always did tell me I underestimate myself. To celebrate the milestone occasion, here are four matches I watched. Two are favourites, two I'd never seen before. Read on, or don't. 

The Destroyer v Mil Mascaras (All Japan, 10/9/73)

You knew this would rule just from the threads both were wearing. Destroyer's white mask with the green trim was looking CRISP and Mil's black and white spray-paint Punisher mask might be the coolest fucking mask in the history of wrestling. Mascaras gets a lot of shit for being a sandbagging lout and maybe there's some truth to that. I honestly haven't watched more than three Mil Mascaras matches in the last 10 years and I personally have never been in the ring with him, so I can't draw on experience with the man. But physical peak Mascaras looked the part - and could therefore BE the part - in a way 95% of wrestlers never could, so I can't blame him for buying into his own bullshit. Also if I had that mask I wouldn't be selling shit for shit. I'm doing whatever I want and winning the lot. Anyway. The minimalism point always gets brought up about this and I don't even disagree with that, but I guess when I hear minimalism my head goes to something like a lengthy armbar segment or two folk working in and out of a headlock or whatever. I don't even know why it does go there, because I'm very much a fan of the Little Things and more than ever, in the year 2023, I appreciate minimalism in a world of wrestling excess. This didn't have a lengthy armbar segment and they never spent much time working in and out of a headlock, but the attention to detail on every hold they did work - or just on everything, really - was kind of mesmerising. Just the way they fought over a top wristlock, using leverage and stance and visibly straining for every inch of it. Mil tried to step over into a half crab at one point and Destroyer yanked away his leg, and the way Mil almost fell before recalibrating suggested he was not expecting to be met with such vehement resistance. I don't say this next part to take a jab at Bryan Danielson, but I bet if he was to do some of this stuff on Dynamite today we'd be hearing about his genius right away. These guys just had those moments down to perfection. I also loved how they built tension through rope breaks, where initially they'd be clean and then over time Mascaras would give Destroyer a condescending little pat on the cheek before stepping back. When it spilled over they started with the forearm shivers, and it wasn't an exchange that lasted long but it did signify that a shackle had come off. The figure-four at the end of the second fall might be the best ever just for the way Mascaras tried to escape it, then the subsequent sell of it was basically immaculate. And for a count-out finish you better believe Mil was going to make it look legit. He got absolutely yeeted to the floor. You don't come at Destroyer with the same trick as often as Mil did with that flying headbutt. 

Terry Funk v Bob Orton Jr. (Southwest, 5/26/83)

You know, for a 20-minute draw in the first round of a title tournament, this was about as great as you could get. It's kind of striking how similar Orton was to Funk here with the mannerisms. Forget some of the selling and bumping, just the way he MOVED was Funk to a tee. I guess if you're going to emulate someone then you can't blame folk like Orton and Slater for aping Terry Funk. Hell I say more people should do it! Even if I'd rather watch a 12-minute match than a 30-minute one at this point, I thought both guys built this brilliantly from start to finish, upped the intensity as it went, progressed everything logically, and I'd have been all in on it getting another 10 minutes (or even a couple for a definitive ending). We had a gentleman's contest early. Everything was fought over and Funk's headlock was watertight, but nobody was throwing cheapshots or taking shortcuts and we even got a quick handshake off a rope break. Funk driving forearms into the kidneys to shake Orton probably hurt like a bastard but this isn't the playground and it's still above board. Forearms are legal, right? This is wrestling not hopscotch! Then Funk starts to get annoyed at things not going his way and he gives Orton a slap. Orton whipping Funk into the corner hard enough to move the ring was a great response, and that sets up Orton's run on offence. The bearhug isn't really a move that looks great unless it's a Patera or Bruno or Superstar Graham using it to crush someone, but Orton working the bearhug kind of ruled. Obviously Funk's selling put it over the top. There was one slow near-escape where Funk managed to shift onto his side and apply a headlock before Orton cut him off again that simultaneously felt like the best of 70s NWA matwork and the kind of thing Javier Llanes would do a decade later. It goes up another level after Funk kicks out of a pin attempt and hits Orton with the greatest crawling headbutt you've ever seen. This was totally out of nowhere and damn near unnecessary the way he lunged at Orton. Then he did it twice more and these were legit three of the nastiest headbutts ever, like something Shibata would've done if he'd had a career cosplaying the Junkyard Dog. When Orton comes back he chucks Funk clean out the ring and Funk wipes out a couple unsuspecting photographers at ringside. And from here the nastiness goes up yet another level. Orton morphs into a real mean bastard while Funk is basically turned full sympathetic babyface - despite the fact it was his tetchiness that pushed Orton in the first place - and with it we get all that sympathetic babyface Terry Funk entails. Of course there are a bunch of awesome Funk moments, like when Orton is plastering him with punches as Funk is on the apron and he punch-drunkenly slips and headers the ring post. When Funk comes back he goes to the leg and after that it's time for Orton to bring some magic little touches, like his leg buckling as he's trying to mount a comeback, which gives Funk the opening to cut him off again. Orton picking Funk up and crotching him on the top rope felt like an appropriate receipt for those headbutts earlier, then Funk mule kicks him in the balls and Orton's wobbly-legged sell is just out of this world incredible. Unsurprisingly it immediately brought to mind the person he was in the ring with. This was fantastic. 

Daisuke Ikeda v Yuki Ishikawa (FUTEN, 4/24/05)

Well. What we have here is very possibly the least monkeyish of all monkey shows. Honestly, what a ridiculous hellstorm of a thing. Obviously the violence of it jumps off the page, the brutality and stiffness a giant neon TWO FOR ONE 'TIL 2 sign that's impossible to miss. It's hard to divert your eyes from people wellying each other in the face like this. While all of that is shocking though, Ikeda v Ishikawa has never been purely about the shock value. The same through line that exists in every other Ikeda v Ishikawa match I've written about here exists in this one. Ikeda is a walking thresher with wrecking balls for appendages. Ishikawa is an extraordinary grappler capable of pulling your arms and legs off. Those attributes become even more dangerous when you consider that they're both savage maniacs with little regard for their own basic motor functions. Ikeda is also kind of a prick who'll volley you in the face. He did that early on off a rope break, where he stood up and tried to punt Ishikawa's head through the far wall. This came AFTER he'd already cracked Ishikawa with a punch at the pre-match ref' checks. When Ikeda applies a legbar Ishikawa manages to grab the ropes without much trouble, but Ikeda doesn't release. That might've been when Ishikawa decided he wasn't playing anymore and quickly turned it into a legbar of his own, forcing Ikeda to the same rope immediately. As time goes on Ishikawa starts to lean into the violence, and even if none of it is below the belt his RAGE maybe does force him down a few corridors he might otherwise avoid. He'll get shot in the face and keep coming forward but that doesn't mean engaging in strike exchanges with Ikeda is smart. Sure enough he tries it a couple times and Ikeda vaporises him. There are several shots that could absolutely be the craziest version of those things ever done in a wrestling ring and the bit where Ishikawa breaks clean on an armbar and Ikeda tries to kick his head off is just about the wildest spot of the decade. I loved the part where Ikeda tried to grab one of Ishikawa's arms to apply a submission and when Ishikawa wouldn't give it up Ikeda just full on jumped on his head with his entire bodyweight. Some of the selling down the stretch is what separates this from two guys crowbarring each other for the hell of it. Ishikawa's glassy-eyed selling as he gets up after yet again having his brains scrambled, Ikeda staggering headlong into being backdropped on his neck, the latter a perfect encapsulation of who he is. The other perfect encapsulation being all those times he tried to cave Ishikawa's face in with his hands and feet. 

Bryan Danielson v Ricky Starks (Strap Match) (AEW All Out, 9/3/23)

I like Ricky Starks. Even from the small handful of Starks matches I've watched from this year he seems like something different and he's more interesting to me than most of AEW right now. I don't know who said it, but the idea that he would fit well in the Attitude Era is something I can certainly get behind. For what it's worth I'm not using that as a means of championing him as a great wrestler, but he certainly has a unique presence and plenty of charisma. If I was going to champion him as a great wrestler - and I'm not saying he is - I'd talk about how he might be the closest thing to peak Michael Hayes that we have in 2023. This is the kind of street brawl Hayes was amazing at and sure enough Starks was pretty awesome as a rabid lunatic pushed past the point where he could conceivably horseshit his way free. Some of the shots with the strap were nuts and both of them took at least half a dozen whippings right to the neck or ear. Danielson doing strike exchanges maybe annoys me more than any other modern wrestler doing them, I think because first and foremost they're nearly always terrible, but also because he does so much other stuff I actually like and SELFISHLY I'd rather he did all of that and none of the nonsense. But the part where they started whipping each other in the face with the strap was about as enjoyable as I'll find a strike exchange these days, and not just for the absurdity of two people willingly lashing themselves in the face with a big bastard leather belt. Based on an admittedly small sample size it feels as though Danielson has started channelling some old man Minoru Suzuki (but less stupid), where he'll use strike exchanges to UNMAN his opponents. "Hit me as hard as you like, it won't drop me and I might even enjoy it and then I'll hit you back." I mean some of it feels goofy but Starks' reaction to it here was perfect, the way he'd half-heartedly keep whipping him with the belt as the realisation grew that Danielson was going to very soon start whipping him back ten times harder. Yet Starks was not WITHERED by it and came out the other end even more defiant. Danielson also headbutted him clean in the face at one point and that ruled. I wasn't bothered by the interference towards the end and Starks opting to be choked out rather than forced to tap out was a nice finish that played to the characters of both. I haven't watched a ton of 2023 AEW, but this is pretty easily my favourite thing the company's put out this year. I'd say it delivered on relatively high expectations. 

And there we have it. 1200. Twelve hunner! 

Here's to twelve hunner more, maybe.  

Tenryu's Been to Hell and Back Again, so if He's Gone a Little While it's 'cause the Devil Stole His Smile

Genichiro Tenryu v Abdullah the Butcher (All Japan, 11/5/79) - GOOD

I can't really think of anything more you'd realistically want out of Abdullah the Butcher v Tenryu in 1979. You pretty much knew that Abdullah was going to try and savage Tenryu and he did that, unceremoniously chucking him out the ring after about a minute. What you maybe weren't sure of was how Tenryu would respond. I struggle to even comprehend a time when Genichiro Tenryu was younger than I am now, but he was a mere 30 years of age in '79 and hadn't yet developed that jheri-curled mean streak. I guess he always had it deep down, and maybe if he'd spent more time wrestling Abdullah it would've flourished years before Choshu sparked it fully to life, because I wasn't expecting him to grab the ring bell hammer and clonk Abdullah in the head with it repeatedly. Obviously Abby took it from him and paid him in kind, using the handle of it to jab Tenryu in the throat. By the four-minute mark both were bleeding and all was right with the world. I also tend to forget how great Abdullah's elbow drop was. Maybe I'm so used to seeing him stab people in the face with stuff, but his regular pro wrestling elbow drop really was sensational looking. He absolutely flattened Tenryu with this and because he was still a little NIPPIER in '79 he could really build up some steam leading into it. I loved this for what it was. 

Genichiro Tenryu & Motoshi Okuma v Riki Choshu & Yoshiaki Yatsu (All Japan, 1/11/86) - FUN

Tenryu is wearing his green kneepads here, which tells me he knew he needed to pull out some stops in order to reach the same level of SWANKNESS as Okuma's lightning bolt tights. This was 10 minutes and you probably know what you're getting and probably know who's taking the L at the end of it all. It wasn't nuclear like some of the Tenryu/Choshu matches, but it's hard to go wrong with even somewhat tepid Tenryu v Choshu. They get uncooperative and take swipes at each other from outside the ring and then the one receiving the swipe will stop and stare at the other with pure venom, eager to deliver receipts when the moment is right. Both spill to the floor at a few different points and I'm wondering if even the crowd weren't dead certain this was ending with Okuma staring at the lights, because the pop for them getting back in before the dreaded count out was mild at best. 

Complete & Accurate Tenryu