Revisiting 00s US Indies #32

Necro Butcher v Toby Klein v Brain Damage (CZW Tournament of Death V, 7/29/06)

What a ridiculous nonsense of a thing. Mid-2000s CZW deathmatch isn't a stylistic rabbit hole I have much interest in jumping down, but I hoped this would be more of a deranged Necro Butcher alley fight than a light tubes and barbed wire gorefest. I care little about guys in their awful baggy wrestling pants getting thrown shirtless into glass panels and bathtubs fulla thumbtacks, but I can make myself care somewhat about a bunch of psycho hillbillies trying to take the jaw off each other in front of 60 methamphetamine distributors. This was held in what looked like a forest clearing so it had the feel of a drunken brawl that broke out during a Yellowstone Park tour. As soon as the match starts Klein literally rips out Brain Damage's eyebrow piercing with a pair of pliers. I'd never seen a Brain Damage match in my life (prolly) but he certainly lived up to his name. Necro comes out to 'Freebird' and the crowd immediately lose their shit and five seconds later he's absolutely fucking whomped Brain Damage in the face with an empty gallon-sized water cannister tied to a broom handle. Klein gets bottled by Brain Damage, then Klein tries to pay him in kind except the bottle doesn't smash and somehow that looked even worse. Klein takes a hiptoss off a truck through four tables, Necro sneaks in and goes for the cover, and when Klein kicks out a fan shouts "you should've hooked the leg" and Necro holds his head in his hands like "fuck man I SHOULD'VE hooked the leg!" Still, the craziest bit comes at the end when they're just cracking each other in the face. This is all the way up there as the single most absurd punch exchange ever. All three are completely drilling each other in very non-worked fashion, both Klein and Damage laying full force jabs and hooks right to Necro's jaw and temple, Necro swinging wildly at anything attached to a pair of shoulders, and this rather than any of the previous gruesome stuff is what elicits the big CZ-Dub chant. If you're going to end a match like this with a punch then you better make that punch count, and brothers, any one of these punches would've done the trick.