Roddy Piper v Jimmy Snuka (Fijian Strap Match) (WWF, 7/20/84) - GOOD
This is a Roddy Piper in a match where he and his opponent are attached by a strap/chain/collar so instantly that means the floor is somewhat raised. It was only about 10 minutes and comparing it to a Piper/Valentine would be a fool's errand, but it was fun and I liked it better than their no DQ match from May. Piper milks the hell out of hooking himself up to the strap at the start, milks the hell out of Snuka giving him a few little shots with the strap, milks the hell out of the strap-assisted test of strength. The longer it goes the harder they whip each other and Piper can only seem to make any inroads by poking Snuka in the eye, which of course is great because the more chance of seeing the GOAT eye poke the better. He tries to clonk Snuka's head off the buckle, realises the error of his ways, but ultimately it's too late and he gets punched to the floor. Loved Piper trying to grab a chair only for the old guy at ringside to pick it up and sit it out of reach, Piper contemplating having a go at him only to be dragged back in by the strap. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen Piper lose a match clean as a sheet so that finish was unexpected. There are two or three more singles matches between these two that I kind of want to watch and I'm not sure I'd expect a classic out of them, but if nothing else it's fun seeing how Piper will work different stuff with someone who isn't very good.
Roddy Piper v Tonga Kid (WWF, 11/26/84) - EPIC
HOT DAMN THIS IS THE PRO WRESTLING! How in the name of christ was the Tonga Kid not a megastar??? In an alternate - some would say superior - timeline this headlines Wrestlemania 3 with Piper dropping the belt to Tama in front of 94,000 people. These are legit two of my favourite wrestlers ever and I cannot tell you how much I loved this. Absolutely BONKERS crowd from start to finish. Piper is wearing an ungodly fur coat that he won in hand to hand combat with a Jacobite clan leader, the sort of thing Conor McGregor would wear to a press conference thinking he looked even FRACTIONALLY as dapper as Hot Rod. Snuka is making his return to MSG after Piper put him out of action some months ago and people are just going apeshit for him coming out to sit in the Tonga Kid's corner. This is one of the most fun Piper performances ever, leading a literal teenager - albeit a prodigiously talented one - through an awesome match and making him look spectacular into the bargain. He slaps Tama at the start and Tama just stares at him defiantly, then when Tama slaps him back Piper fakes walking out, turns around to throw a cheapshot, but Tama blocks it and rocks him with a headbutt. The place goes full crazy. Piper doing Snuka's double leapfrog bit was amazing and all of his jawing with Snuka ruled. At one point he bites Tama in the face over by where Snuka's sitting, spits on Snuka and calls him a piece a garbage, then chops Tama in the throat. The crowd reactions for every Tama hope spot are honestly ridiculous and Piper is masterful at stoking the fire every time, shutting the kid down with an eye poke here, a sleeper hold there, all the while making one of the least interesting wrestlers ever in Jimmy Snuka feel like the biggest deal in wrestling just sitting there on the floor. Tama's comeback is quite frankly the greatest thing you've ever seen. First he fights to his feet to break the sleeper and I was already stripped to the waist at his little hip shake to fire himself up, then Piper rams his head into the buckle and Tama POPS AND LOCKS right in his face! Piper looks at him in astonishment, very much the way you'd expect a white man who's never seen anyone pop and lock in the streets of Glasgow or Saskatoon to look at someone popping and locking like this. Perhaps sensing some ethnic witchcraft is afoot Piper tries to bolt, but Snuka is right there and when Piper turns around Tama blitzes him with a jumping headbutt. Tama stomps on Piper's willy and Monsoon goes silent for a second before intoning: "might've been illegal" in a way that suggests even he could not give a shit about the referee's lenience. For six seconds there I was a wee bit disappointed at the double DQ finish, but then Piper and Orton try to crush Tama's throat with a chair and Snuka intervenes and I could honest to god count on one hand the number of MSG crowds I've seen hotter for a post-match brawl. They couldn't have built up a future tag match any better than this and that sort of wrestling match is worth its weight in gold. Just a perfect bit of the pro wrestling.
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