Monday 24 April 2023

Take Piper to France and Watch Him Dance, Let Him Drink that Wine. Spinning Around a Dark-Haired Girl, Havin' Him a Good Ol' Time

Roddy Piper & Bob Orton v Paul Orndorff & Andre the Giant (WWF, 8/10/85) - GREAT

Andre in the Garden is a magical thing. Some wrestlers just fit certain environments like a glove. Lawler in the Mid-South Coliseum, Hashimoto in the Tokyo Dome. Lothario in the Sam Houston Coliseum, Casas in Arena Mexico. The Von Erichs in the Sportatorium. Special connections that are built over time, sometimes years, sometimes decades. WWF had a few guys like that throughout the 70s and 80s, a lot of them with those MSG crowds. Their presence alone would make things feel BIGGER. Hogan, Piper, Backlund, Bruno, all those guys had that connection with the Garden fans and in Piper's case it was as both a heel and a babyface, different reactions yet equally electric. The fact Andre was a special attraction who wouldn't make as many appearances gave the ones he did make even more meaning. Every time out it felt huge. The WWF at this point was obviously Hogan's house, but Andre had been coming around before Hulk donned the red and yellow and ascended to immortality, before he moonlighted as Thunderlips and threw Sylvester Stallone around a boxing ring, even before he was running about with Freddie Blassie and stepping to Andre himself. Piper is one of the godkings of crowd manipulation so throw Andre in there with him and you've got an atom bomb. This was during the Piper/Orndorff feud where Piper had Orton as his bodyguard whomping people with a cast. Orndorff would bring in partners for big tag matches, one time recruiting one of the Garden's previous tenants Bruno Sammartino. Here it was Andre and the heat was through the roof. Andre was noticeably bigger than he was in '84, the last time he and Piper were on opposite sides of a tag match in MSG. He was a little more broken down, but that last time he got carted out mid-match, bleeding everywhere, going above and beyond to give Piper the rub of his career to that point. This time he wasn't going to spend any time on the mat and I guess it was as much an Andre revenge tour as an Orndorff one. Piper and Orton bump and stooge everywhere and the energy is off the charts. Just buckets of energy. You can tell Piper lives for this shit, the way he gets popped in the mouth by Orndorff, feeds himself to Andre for a big clubbing blow to the ear, turns around into another Orndorff hook, big exaggerated flailing, whipping his head all the way back, the place going more and more crazy for each shot. Andre was determined to rip that cast off Orton's arm, unwrapping the tape and using it to choke him while Orton couldn't do a damn thing about it. Orton would frantically try and get away, climb out the ring, grab the ropes, feebly kick at Andre, but Andre would not let go of that arm and where he wanted to take Orton was where Orton would go. He had no choice in the matter. The heels eventually take over on Andre when Orton makes a blind tag to Piper, then they double team the big guy and Piper uses the same tape ripped from Orton's cast to choke Andre. In a cool spot they back him into the corner, and when the ref' is putting Orndorff out Piper uses the tape AND the tag rope to choke Andre. Andre doesn't spend a ton of time being worked over but it's the usual fun wounded mammoth performance. I did love him biting Piper in the FACE to create some distance, then Orton tries his luck and Andre takes a chunk out of him as well. Andre uses his size to keep Orton pinned in the corner while Orndorff lays a beating on Piper, and the set up to the finish is great. Andre goes for a big butt smash but Orton gets a knee up and digs him in the kidneys. He then comes off the top for a big cast drop but Andre gets the boot up and Orton goes face-first into the thing like a screwball. It was one of the best versions of that spot ever. It can be hard to make that look good because you can't really not telegraph it without doing it to a stupidly unsafe degree. Why would you be coming off the ropes fully vertical like that? What were you trying to achieve before the boot was raised? A stomp? Who does a stomp off the middle rope? So many questions. But Andre's legs are fuckin nine feet long so he connects with Orton's face almost as soon as he comes off the ropes. You could plausibly buy Orton AIMING to go for a splash or an elbow drop or whatever and he was just kicked in the face before he could properly get horizontal. 


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