In the Glow of the Moon, Over the Melancholy Metro Rey's Poetry is Set Like a U.F.O.

20 Man Battle Royal (Smackdown!, 1/13/06)

Super fun TV battle royal. Rey and Mark Henry are really your stars here. First ten minutes have a bunch going on, but Rey's near-eliminations and running around like a mouse while Henry plays monster truck in amongst stock cars are the two main themes. Angle comes in as the mystery entrant (this is for the World Heavyweight Title that Batista vacated earlier in the night) and throws people around, but eventually Henry gets fed up with that and puts him through a table. Henry is a total beast in this. He does a shoulder tackle spot with Lashley where Lashley REALLY runs at him and still ends up getting bounced across the ring. There was nothing showy about it -- he really charged full speed at Henry, Henry just stood his ground, and Lashley almost got knocked clean off his feet. Henry picks him up like he's nothing, dumps him onto the apron and punts him right in the chest. He totally ragdolls everybody else (tossed out Brian Kendrick like he was a six year old). After everybody else is gone it briefly comes down to Henry and Rey, and we get a great taste of what a singles match would be like before Rey flies around once too often and gets hurled over the top. Finally ends up being Henry v Angle (Angle spent half the match on top of a broken announce table), and Angle is a total pitbull going back to the headscissors. Still, you watch this and get the sense a Rey/Henry match would be really great...


Rey Mysterio v Mark Henry (Smackdown!, 1/20/06)

And sure enough, it was really great. Just an awesome huge guy v tiny guy match; at times it's like a rabbit trying to pick a fight with a bear. Rey tries to get Henry to chase him around early and burn him out, winging kicks at his tree trunk legs to chop him down some. There's a spot where Henry catches Rey by the ankle as he's sliding into the ring and, with one hand, just yanks him back out with so much force Rey goes flying into the barricade. Henry takes over completely when Rey runs towards him, and Henry stops him cold in his tracks Vader style. People should stop running at that guy. It's bad enough standing in front of him, I have no idea why you'd actively want to close the gap. If a bus is driving towards you, don't run INTO the fucking windshield. Henry looks like the most unfuckwithable brick wall on earth here. He gives Rey a slingshot suplex where he hangs him over the top rope and cracks his sternum with a kick (Rey's bump to the floor is great as well). Awesome spot where Rey starts building some momentum and Henry mows him down with a huge leaping clothesline. He was kind of on his knees when he jumped into it, so it looked totally out of nowhere and amazing. Really liked the teeter-totter set up to the 619 here as well. Henry catches Rey's attempted springboard like he did in the battle royal, but this time Rey manages to hotshot Henry on the top rope as he's being thrown out. Then Rey hits three 619s; one to the kidneys, one to the stomach, and finally one to the face. Finish is great. Rey hits the frog splash from about three quarters of the way across the ring, but as he pins him Henry just sits up, rolls backwards onto his feet while still holding onto Rey, and crushes him dead with the World's Strongest Slam. Rey sort of whiffs on the frog splash because he's too far away, but it actually kinda adds to the finish. You've got one shot against this guy, you either make it count or you're toast.


Rey Project