WWE TLC Cherry-Pickin'

Two months on the spin I've watched a WWE PPV. Well, I say "watched" but I only fully paid attention to three matches, while the rest was on as either background noise or skipped entirely. I should probably watch Rey/Orton because from what I caught it did seem real fun. Meanwhile you could not pay me enough to sit through a Rollins/Ambrose match at this point in life.


Ronda Rousey v Nia Jax 

Well Rousey continues to be absolute money and this was totally great, maybe not quite at the level of their first match but pretty damn close. This already feels like a great pairing, they just mesh super well together. I liked the beginning with Rousey popping and moving, getting about as cocky as we've seen in her short career so far. Then Nia inevitably catches her and starts the clubbering. There were a few amazing spots in this, the best ones coming from Ronda climbing all over Nia like some ridiculous CrossFit Games event. The front choke into the suplex was a really impressive bit of strength from Nia to begin with, but holy shit was that transition into the rear naked choke spectacular. That truly looked like Nia just tried to dump Rousey behind her and somehow Ronda managed to contort herself into whatever the fuck position was required to navigate the obstacle that was Nia's frame. At another point Ronda hit a great looking step up knee that was practically a Shining Wizard to a standing opponent, then as Nia was staggered Ronda used Nia's thigh to propel herself into what was almost a delayed superman punch. Also loved Ronda taking to the top turnbuckle. She went up there against Charlotte and kind of sold it like it might be a terrible idea, and when she did it here it was like she was talking herself into it as she climbed. She never climbed no turnbuckles in an Octagon. And her big cross body to the floor looked killer. Nia gets a lot of shit from a lot of people. I really haven't paid much attention to her the entire time she's been on TV, but she was the perfect foil for Ronda in both of their matches. The sit-out powerbomb to counter the armbar initially was cool, and maybe I'm just projecting but it felt like she sold the ever-present threat of it all the way through, like she knew from experience that Ronda could grab it from anywhere so it was important not to overextend. Finish was badass on a hundred levels. Rousey's shit talking is top tier anyway, but kissing Nia's fist before leaning into the armbwas was incredible. On top of that I love how she manoeuvered Nia's body after the takedown, not only to keep her away from the ropes but to make sure she could look Tamina in the eyes while she did it. That girl stuck her nose in once already and she'll think twice before doing it again. I guess if I had one complain it'd be that I wanted them to make more of the arm after the ring post spot, but part of that is because Rousey has become such a ridiculously fun saleswoman that you almost expect it now. That's pretty wild for someone who's been doing pro wrestling for all of nine months.


Daniel Bryan v AJ Styles 

Man, this might be my favourite Bryan Danielson/Daniel Bryan iteration of his entire career. He's basically doing the CM Punk straightedge stuff, except rather than condescend to people who drink Jameson or partake in the green he's going at folk who eat meat and don't recycle their empty Marmite jars. He's also working surly as a bastard again and the notion that this is more mid-2000s ROH than late-2010s WWE feels pretty accurate. Knowing his attention to detail I wouldn't be surprised if he starts subtly doing the "I have til five!" bit like he did in this and then after a few months he's doing it full 2006 ROH style. All of his work around AJ's ribs looked great, just really snug and painful looking, like the knees before the bow and arrow, the kicks, the body shots. Then  he'd throw in a bunch of other nasty looking shit like yanking on AJ's nose and the awesome knees in the cravate, followed by the equally awesome cravate suplex. The way it sort of morphed into a match that was built around dueling body part work felt organic and remained a theme all the way through. We even got a plausible nearfall off a half crab which hasn't been a thing for like fifteen years. I totally bought Bryan tapping in the calf crusher as well. What was most impressive to me is that they managed to build this drama without ever resorting to your modern WWE main event fare. They didn't trade a bunch of finishers, they never went overboard with the 2.999 counts, the things they did leading to the finishing run weren't forgotten about as if a switch was flipped and it was time to go home. The match ending on a small package leaves plenty on the table if they want to return to this as well (and I'm guessing they'll want to return to it). I liked this less than Bryan/Lesnar and Rousey/Charlotte from Survivor Series, but it was pretty excellent and I'm all in on Bryan having a lengthy run with the belt.


Becky Lynch v Charlotte Flair v Asuka (TLC Match)

And this was pretty shit hot as well. I have no idea where it falls in a list of your best TLC matches, but if there's one thing this has over a shit load of the others it's that I truly bought the violence the wrestlers were trying to sell me. It had plunder and they took their time setting up some elaborate spots, but in amongst it all they never let you forget that ultimately these three women did not care a lick for one another. When was the last time anybody made a dumb kendo stick look like a proper weapon? Because these three have been smashing folk to bits with kendo sticks lately and this had some of the most brutal whippings yet. I really didn't watch much of Charlotte during her babyface run this year, though I know people seemed to be mostly cold on it. If that heel turn at Survivor Series promised a return to form then she's absolutely lived up to it because she was outstanding in this. Stuff like that "every man bows down to a QUEEN" bit would ordinarily feel super corny, but for whatever reason it totally worked in this, maybe because as soon as she said it she just slapped Becky clean across the face really hard. Her big somersault through the table looked great as well. It wasn't graceful, especially not compared to her moonsault that she always gets perfect rotation on, it looked more heavy, like she wanted to land with as much mass and inflict as much damage as possible. It also made for a great payback spot because that Becky legdrop off the ladder was fucking lunacy and about collapsed Charlotte's lungs. Her verbal sell of it ruled but then I'm not sure how much of that was selling. Then we got the spear through the barricade, which is a tired spot in WWE at this point, but this one looked as good as any Roman Reigns car wreck. She took off like a track athlete and absolutely crushed Asuka. They also went above and beyond during the parts where they were feebly reaching for the belt. Those moments always come off pretty hokey because, like, just climb another rung and reach up there, you know? But all three of them were desperate in throwing shots at the top of the ladder, sometimes just slapping each other about the shoulder or ear, knocking their arms out the way when someone tried to grab the belt. The finish works for me as well because Rousey's been saying for weeks that she has receipts, and considering how nearly every other babyface in the company consistently looks like a doofus it's cool to see one actually get something done for a change. It sets up plenty of options for where they could go next and they now have four women on the roster who are red hot with a ton of momentum at the right time.