A foray into 2023 AEW

FTR v Bullet Club Gold (AEW Collision, 7/16/23)

I probably would've liked this more if I knew going in that it was four hours long. Actually that's not true. I think if I knew how long it was I would've skipped it altogether, or at least held off on watching it for several years. Probably. I mean I figured it would've been long anyway, maybe about 35 minutes, which even at that was kind of pushing it for me, but then it hit 35 and it kept going and going and I really wanted Bullet Club to win in two straight falls just so it would be over. Look, there was good stuff in this, at the very least from an execution standpoint. They had big ideas and I guess they followed through on them. The audience they were working to ate it up. There was just never a point where I was actually all that bothered about what was happening. I already know that I sound old and grumpy and like one of those old heads who doesn't think there's been any good wrestling after 1987, but I wasn't into any of the heat segments and I didn't care about any of the finisher-trading. This was in Canada so of course we got some Hart family CALLBACKS~ from FTR, who wear their influences on their trunks. Those parts were kind of on the nose - I say that as someone who actively enjoyed some of that when Punk was doing it last year - and mostly took me out of the moment. Actually there was one cool bit where I half expected a 1994 Royal Rumble, where Cash Wheeler had been worked over and made a comeback, but rather than making the tag he tried to go it alone, got shut down again, and I really hoped Dax would turn around and kick Wheeler's leg out of his leg. To be honest it's probably because I haven't really watched any wrestling in a couple months, but I could never shake the sense I was watching a performance that had been planned out to the letter. Nothing really felt organic. They all did a reset spot towards the end so the crowd could give them the standing ovation and it was all very manufactured and I wanted to watch Buck Robley stomp someone on the ankle instead. The best part was when Jay White started tuning up the band for some Sweet Chin Music, then went into a Sharpshooter instead and it got some actual heat. Ah fuck it, I know this is what modern wrestling is so I can hardly shit on the crowd for being excited about stuff I'm not excited about. I'd maybe like to see more Jay White because he has a real pre-HGH Conor McGregor face and could definitely use that to rile folk up.