Piper v Valentine (another ear for another ear)

Roddy Piper v Greg Valentine (Dog Collar Match) (Starrcade, 11/24/83) - EPIC

Well holy smokes. I've always had this as maybe the best version of a match where participants are tied together with a rope/chain/strap/whatever. That's some pretty esteemed company when you consider things like Hansen/Colon, Estrada/Fiera, Reed/Sawyer, etc. And yet I think I sold it short because this time it felt like the best gimmick match there's ever been. What a grizzly masterpiece. The opening stretch is just about the perfect use of a prop. The stare down while they kind of jostle for position using their neck. The slow approach as the chain loses its tautness. Piper just grabbing a length of it and whipping Valentine on the elbow. Everything early felt like the sort of stuff you'd see in an actual fight where there happened to be a chain on hand. None of this was elaborate or set up. For his first offensive move of the match Valentine makes the mistake of clubbing Piper in that ear. It's a mistake for two reasons; the first because it just pisses Piper off, the second because he did it with his bare fist when there was a chain to be wrapped around it right there. So Piper stretches out a length of chain and just digs Valentine in the face with it. It was all a bit experimental, like they were seeing what sort of misery they could inflict upon each other with this chain that had been thrown into their little horror show. Piper wraps the chain around his fist and starts throwing jabs. Valentine stumbles away and the chain ends up between his legs, so Piper gives it a yank. Valentine wraps it around Piper's eyes and saws it back and forth. Piper wraps it around Valentine's mouth and nose and punches chain into face. Greg stumbles into the corner so Piper uses the chain as a winch around the post and tries to strangle him, then he bites a hole in his forehead because I mean why wouldn't you at that point? They tease the ear injury through all this, but it's mostly Piper on top with Greg trying to catch up. Then Valentine rams a bit of that chain into the ear and he's right back on level footing. Piper was unbelievable in that July match but he was fucking outrageous in this. Like, this was genuine all-timer level. His blown equilibrium sell job with blood just gushing out his ear was truly remarkable. Valentine is whipping him in the ear with this chain, peppering the ear with chain-wrapped fists, ramming him ear-first into the ring post and Piper can't stand up straight. At one point he kind of picked up a chair and flung it clean into Valentine's face, but it just as easily could've taken a fan's teeth out or sailed harmlessly across the floor. It didn't look like he meant it, he just happened to be staggering that way with limbs a-flailing and there was a chair there and it got flipped into someone's face. I liked Piper using the chain to hook Valentine's legs for the finish, but the ending did feel a wee bit flat, which is really my one and only criticism. Other than that it was a transcendent bit of wrestling and maybe the best brawl in US history.


Complete & Accurate Hot Rod