Thursday, 21 February 2019

Twist off the Lid Like Tenryu Did, Let the Fiddle Make a Little Mountain Noise

Genichiro Tenryu & Ultimo Dragon v Typhoon & Shinja (WAR,12/8/95) - SKIPPABLE

This was the semi-final of a one night tag tournament, the first and only of its kind in WAR's short, potatoey history. Tenryu and Ultimo beat Fuyuki and Kandori in a fun first round match (refer to the C&A Tenryu database, if you would) while Shinja and Typhoon had to get past the all-star duo of Koji Kitao and fucking El Gigante! I can only imagine how the prominent online wrestling reviewers of the time viewed that. Folk weren't exactly the most receptive to WAR and its lumpiness back then so I'd assume many negative star ratings were assigned. But hey, some of this was alright! Typhoon is absolutely huge and towers over everyone. It wasn't as noticeable in the WWF because it was full of giants there, but even Tenryu looks small and Ultimo is teeny tiny. Tenryu chops him stupid hard but Typhoon is unfazed and slams your WAR president like he was a mere sack of carrots. They do some mid-match comedy shtick with Typhoon asking little Ultimo for a test of strength, Ultimo obliging by standing on the top rope, and Typhoon just chucking him away. Ultimo ends up playing face in peril and Typhoon gives him a backbreaker, then while on one knee gives him about six more with absurd ease. Ultimo does not make you forget Tommy Rogers, but he's a passable enough FIP and Tenryu was getting super annoyed at his little buddy being treated like garbage. The finish was pretty out of nowhere, but you'd have bet the house on Shinja being the fall guy and Tenryu condescendingly applauding them afterwards was amusing. Shinja flinging a fireball in his face was a pretty unexpected response.


Genichiro Tenryu & Ultimo Dragon v Jado & Gedo (WAR, 12/8/95) - GREAT

The final! And what a killer little sprint! I wasn't expecting much from this, knew it only went eight minutes (fuck yer Real World Tag League) and figured it might be kind of decent with enough Tenryu involvement. But man, it wound up being a real hoot. Gedo is sporting the bleach blond quiff and he and Jado look like the goofiest pyjama-wearing shitheads imaginable. They jump Ultimo before the bell and straight away we go into the Ultimo Morton segment. This was way more heated than the semi-final as Jado and Gedo are working at double pace with a bunch of neat offence and cut-offs. Gedo also takes the turnbuckle padding off one corner and I thought it was a bit silly because they don't actually do anything with it, but just you wait. Gedo even knocks Tenryu off the apron at one point by clawing at his recently-scalded face. Of course Tenryu is a fucking hell storm in off the hot tag, immediately breaking a chair over Jado's head and smashing him into a table. Almost instantly Jado's face and forehead are crimson and Tenryu so thoroughly mauls him that you almost feel sympathy for the wee goof. He's trying to pull himself up with the ropes and Tenryu just keeps chopping his throat and throwing short punts to the cut. Gedo eventually comes in and dropkicks Tenryu's knee at a disgusting angle, but the follow-up splash backfires and he flies into that exposed turnbuckle. Thus, we have the greatest payoff in the history of our sport. Gedo's carcass is ripe for the pickings as Ultimo wipes out Jado with the Asai Moonsault, and Tenryu adjusts the weightlifting belt with a look that tells us he's very much back in the big time (he'd missed five months prior to this, though I'm not sure if he was injured or what). This flew by. It never let up, had a nice heat segment, Tenryu slaughtering someone, cool little setups and payoffs, blood, a hot crowd, just way better than I was expecting.


Complete & Accurate Tenryu

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