Tuesday 5 February 2019

WWF Wrestlemania X

Well, not the whole show, but the stuff that interested me. I watched the Bret/Owen opener a few years ago and wrote about it already, so there's no point going over that ground again. WWF weren't exactly in the habit of knocking out amazing PPVs in the 90s but the opener and Shawn/Razor both delivered and there was some other okay stuff. So even if it isn't a high bar, this was probably one of the better shows the WWF had during the 90s.


Bam Bam Bigelow & Luna v Doink & Dink

I didn't hate this. I mean it wasn't good, but the Luna/Dink parts were sort of amusing and that was the match-up I expected to be rubbish. There was one bit where Dink was running around the ring as if he was trying to make Luna dizzy or something (come on, how the fuck should I know?), so Luna just stared at him then punted him in the chest. Bigelow's one of the better guys in the company in '94 but he was barely involved. His falling headbutts from a standing position had some daylight, but his headbutt off the top looked good. Who was playing Doink here? Whoever it was hit a big DDT and took a bump off a missed Whoopee Cushion that could've busted his tailbone. Post-match I expected either Dink to bite Luna in the butt or Bigelow to crush a midget, but neither happened. This was like six minutes and wouldn't have been the worst match on nine out of ten WWE PPVs today.


'Macho Man' Randy Savage v Crush (Falls Count Anywhere)

This was billed as falls count anywhere but in reality it was falls count anywhere except in the ring. It was sort of convoluted. You can't pin your opponent in the ring, but pinning them anywhere else in the arena or city of New York is fine. It also had a Texas death match twist to it in that after each fall the loser had sixty seconds to return to the ring. If he couldn't do so, the match was over. In practice it only went about eight minutes but it was an okay little brawl. Few are better than Savage at communicating the hatred of a feud that's supposed to be built on hate and he came out the gate jumping straight at Crush's face. You bought that he hated him, basically. They did some cool stuff, like a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on the floor, a big Savage bump across the guardrail, Crush hit a nice superkick that busted Savage's mouth open, and then the finish was pretty amusing even if it didn't work entirely as intended. Crush kind of stunk for the entirety of his career but this iteration of him with the face paint and cool ring gear and aligning himself with Fuji was probably my favourite Crush. Neo-Nazi biker with tire track forehead tattoo, big goofy surfer bro, nWo lummox with sunglasses and Kronik-era hired assassin who slicks his hair back with Nutella just didn't click in the same way.


Shawn Michaels v Razor Ramon (Ladder Match) 

Well dang, I thought this held up shockingly well. I probably even liked it more now than I did whenever I last watched it (must be like ten years ago). I get criticising Michaels for doing all this crazy shit with a ladder that the crowd will pop for rendering it counterproductive to him as the heel, but at worst I don't really care and at best I might be able to convince myself it actively added to the match; or at least added to my enjoyment of it. Razor punches him around the place and I bought Michaels only being able to win by getting creative with that ladder. He wasn't winning with fisticuffs but hey, there's a big fuckin ladder you're allowed to bonk someone with so that's a decent equalizer, right? Plus everything looked super nasty and like it was designed to actually hurt Razor, rather than hunt for the almighty pop. I mean, all that carny shit about him having a five star match with a ladder that Scott Hall happened to be window dressing in is obviously silly, but I thought this was largely Michaels being a bump machine and Razor plugging in his spots and selling well when he needed to. There were also clearly moments where Shawn was leading him through spots. Michaels just picking up the ladder and flinging it at Razor's kidneys was brutal and in that instance I'm not sure how much of Razor's selling was actually selling. When he made his comeback and clotheslined Michaels over the top (which Michaels took an awesome bump off of) he could've climbed the ladder and tried to win, but I bought him wanting revenge for being smashed in the gut and kidneys five times with the ladder. He basically used it to throw an uppercut at one point and naturally Michaels took a killer bump to the floor. The slingshot into the ladder, the splash off the ladder, that thing Michaels did out the corner that was also a splash only ladder-assisted; all great spots. The baseball slide into the ladder was also one of the better of its ilk. There were moments as well where Michaels would add a nasty little touch out of nowhere, my favourite being where they both take a spill off the ladder and he just kicks it over so it lands across Razor's back. Thought the finish was basically perfect as well. The bit with him getting tangled in the ropes is great and I love how he milked the shit out of all that, going from having his leg caught and escaping only to get his arm wrapped, juuuuuust inches away from being able to shove that ladder over. But the way he set it up to climb initially by standing it over Razor's body was a really cool little touch. Razor already walked under it pre-match and this was Shawn being overconfident. Why would he ever pass up a chance to rub salt in the wound? I guess the opening few minutes before the ladder gets introduced was a bit vanilla, but it's about the only part that didn't feel like a gnarly fight. Obviously the highspots are dated a quarter century later, but I think having such vivid memories of this as a kid and being blown away by what they were doing at the time will always stick with me. It never felt like just a collection of cool moments. It was rugged and mostly coherent and I'll probably always get at least a little enjoyment out of a Shawn Michaels bump show.


Yokozuna v Bret Hart 

This is usually a fun match-up and they had a few really good bouts the previous year, but I didn't think too much of this. It was mostly punch-kick, and even if it was decent enough punch-kick with Bret's stompy punches and Yoko cutting him off, I was probably more interested in Piper taking no shit from anybody (he's the guest referee). There was one headbutt spot that did kind of rule, though. Yoko's delayed timber bumps are always pretty great and Bret selling his own head was a cool touch. Last few minutes picked up as well and a couple of those nearfalls gave the crowd a kick up the arse. I had no recollection of how they actually ended this and that finish was...something. Was Yoko chasing Piper up the aisle supposed to suggest he had something to do with it? Or did they just run the straight banana peel finish? Either way the post-match was a cool moment. Even as a kid I could never quite get behind Bret, but I sure liked him more than Yoko and I had no real interest in Luger either. Seven year old me would've had Savage in the main event but nobody ever did listed to me.


1994 WWF Project

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