Lex Luger v Bastion Booger (Superstars, 1/15/94)
The indomitable Bastion Booger! This was three minutes and probably just shy of your six star territory. Which is like saying I needed a wee bandage that time a wolf ripped my full entire leg off with its teeth. I miss when wrestlers had props they brought to the ring to keep in their corner. Martel had his ARROGANCE in the spray can thing. Skinner had an alligator claw or something. Jake brought out a full bastard snake. Well Bastion Booger has a sandwich! Booger is about the most grotesque wrestler ever and I very badly wish he'd gone to Japan and wrestled Tarzan Goto in a bunch of indie sleaze promotions. Luger couldn't even be arsed to wear elbow pads here so I guess he figured he'd be in and out in time for the kettle boiling. Match is built around Luger trying to bodyslam Booger and as per the law of threes, he fails the first couple times before nailing it on the third attempt. Booger squashes him against the ring post at one point and Luger no-sells is as the catalyst for his comeback, much like he would in similarly high-stakes matches with Flair where he would no-sell the chops. Maybe some of those matches should've been three minutes as well.
No joke, this was a total blast. The crowd are red hot for the Headshrinkers and everyone responds accordingly, including and especially big Captain Lou in the Headshrinkers' corner. The Quebecers are really fun bumpers and Pierre will regularly get bonkers with it, which in hindsight is a pretty obvious precursor to the sort of wildness he'd be doing to himself 25 years later. Unfortunately - or perhaps fortunately - there were no jumper cables involved here. Eventually the Quebecers decide they've had enough and just walk out, and I don't know who was foolish enough to give Earl fuckin Hebner any STROKE but he makes the executive decision that if the Quebecers get counted out, the belts will in fact be awarded to the Headshrinkers! It gives the match a real sense of drama from there and everyone is great feeding into that. Fatu's heat segment ruled, kicked off with a doozy of an inside-out clothesline bump. The Quebecers get to roll out all of their big double teams, absolutely crush Fatu with their amazing Total Elimination, hit a bunch of their spots where Jacques will slam or suplex Pierre onto the opponent, then the momentum shifts when one of those double teams goes awry and Pierre's assisted senton gets nothing but mat. But then the hot tag comes and they throw in a wrinkle, where instead of working to the finish, Samu gets his head tangled in the ropes. I don't think any of his ears were ripped off but it looked nasty as fuck. I guess this was the end of the Quebecers' run as Pierre finally tires of Jacques accidentally hitting him and smashes him back with a forearm. Whether or not this was something they did throughout the year so they could eventually build to this specifically I don't know, but in every Quebecers match there would be parts where one of them would try to break up a pin or a submission only to accidentally stomp on their partner. They never really teased any tension and it would always end with them hugging it out, but I guess this time Pierre was done with it all. The reaction to Fatu hitting the big splash was amazing and for a TV title change it really felt like a huge moment. Maybe the highlight of the Headshrinkers' run, and easily one of the best Quebecers matches.
Razor Ramon v Kwang (RAW, 5/9/94)
This was shockingly good! Maybe shockingly is a wee bit unfair considering Razor and Savio were always strong hands, but either way I wasn't expecting much and it overdelivered, at times in ways I wasn't expecting at all. Kwang doesn't have the best karate in the world but also doesn't have the worst, and this hit closer to the good end than the not very good end. He also didn't do too much of it, so the few high kicks he did throw came off nicely. Razor's a big fella and there was one spin kick in particular that landed flush, which if nothing else looked impressive. Kwang was obviously asked to do a bunch of nerve holds around this point as he is a master of the martial arts so probably from the Far East and every wrestler from the Far East has a nerve hold in their repertoire, but this took an interesting turn where the nerve hold was a mere HALF of Kwang's offence. The other half was him working over Razor's busted lip, which is an awesome turn if I've ever seen it. It wasn't anything outrageous, there was no grinding of the knuckles into the face, no face-stomping, certainly no biting or gratuitous bloodletting, which is a shame as Vega cut his teeth in Puerto Rico so I imagine he could've sent a few children home with lifelong mental scarring if he'd been allowed to push the boat out, but the IDEA is cool and I appreciate him cutting Razor off by just slamming his face into the mat. I liked the finish as well, even if it was probably a botch to begin with. Razor goes for the Razor's Edge, underestimates how much BEEF Kwang is carrying and it ultimately fails, but it gave things a sense of struggle and him succeeding on the next attempt felt big.
Bam Bam Bigelow v Sparky Plugg (RAW, 5/9/94)
This was also shockingly good! The start was great, with Bigelow bowling over little Sparky. We're thinking right away that this could be a walk in the Asbury Park for big Bam Bam, but then Holly uses a bit of pace, hits Bigelow with a 1-2 punch and Bam Bam takes a nice bump out to the floor. It's always quite jarring going back and watching Holly with the NASCAR gimmick, this white meat babyface with his awful mullet, a guy who basically topped out at winning the tag titles before changing his name to Hardcore, who eventually became this carny locker room enforcer obsessed with respect and everyone paying their dues and going full crowbar on those he didn't think had done enough of the latter. I forgot how obsessed Vince was with shoehorning various race car puns into every Sparky Plugg match but oh boy was he ever. Even Savage got in on it this time. "Bigelow's engine's overheating here, look at the flames on his head!" In fairness that one made sense as the story of the match was all about Sparky refusing to go down while Bigelow hit him with everything he could think of, growing increasingly frustrated that nothing will stick. It was Taue and Kawada trying to fell Misawa, really the perfect WWF approximation of King's Road. Although Bigelow has way better headbutts than any of those guys so maybe King's Road is the perfect approximation of Bam Bam v Thurman Plugg. And if Kawada could hit an enziguri like Bam Bam then maybe he'd have made a career for himself.
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