Piper Might've Took a Few Wrong Turns, Down a Few Wrong Roads, Wound up in a Few Wrong Towns, Where Nobody Cares or Goes

Roddy Piper v Jimmy Snuka (WWF, 7/15/84) - EPIC

I've seen a few of these Piper/Snuka matches now and all of them have been good fun, but nothing that really goes over the top and has the crazy heat and madness you'd really expect from the feud. Those other matches were from the spring so clearly they were waiting until summer before going over the top. This is the one right here. This is how I would expect an actual murderer to set upon a man who wellied a coconut over his head on live television. Piper wants no part of it, begs off, pleads for a reprieve, an antagonistic bastard but a real craven underneath it all. His only offence in the first half is a rake to the eyes. Snuka doesn't have the greatest strikes but his headbutt looks pretty impressive just from the height he gets on the lead-in jump. Then we get the ref' bump and you know Piper will seize his moment. Everything from then on is blood-soaked magic, first with the chair shot and Snuka's insane bladejob. Snuka is covered in blood and Piper is punching him in the cut and biting him in the head and Piper looks like a fucking wolf who's just devoured a stag, blood all over his face and chest. Snuka absorbs some of Piper's shots and kind of stands there dead on his feet, not really no-selling but not quite doing it in a way that would suggest to the audience he's building to a comeback. The comeback is amazing when it does happen though, with Snuka trying to cover up and pulling his hands back to finally notice the blood, Piper realising that he might've gone too far, Snuka seeing red and roaring into some furious vengeance. Snuka grabbing Piper by the ears and repeatedly smashing the back of his head off the mat is even a touch disturbing given what we know about Snuka's past experiences with delivering head trauma. Piper predictably bails so Snuka wipes him out with a fucking incredible no-hands dive over the top! This was one of those dives that managed to look graceful and reckless and beautiful and wild all at once. The count out finish is a bummer, but Snuka clonks the ref' - I imagine Gorilla thought it was deserved - and then has to be restrained by a few ham 'n' eggers. Of course Piper lands one final cheapshot before hightailing it.

Complete & Accurate Hot Rod