Tuesday, 11 October 2016

Colon v Abby Part 4! It's Puerto Rico!

Invader I v Bruiser Brody (6/15/86)

This was about as simple as you could get structurally, with one major momentum shift and both guys basically splitting the match down the middle in terms of who worked on top. I thought it worked perfectly well for them. The beginning consists of Brody beating Invader all over the place with Invader juicing and selling the blood like Invader does, though he doesn't hit an uber-gusher this time out. He tries to make his comebacks and he's his awesome scrappy self, but Brody fights through the blows and keeps on moving forward. Then Invader THUMPS him in the plums and Brody does this amusing sell where he walks around in a circle holding his nether regions before falling into a flat back bump. That's your one major momentum shift. Brody isn't great at selling, but he does give Invader the whole second half of the match; or maybe Invader TAKES the whole second half in spite of Brody wanting to be Brody. Actually, that's probably unfair to Brody, honestly, because he was decent enough in this, at times even pretty good. There's a great bit where he swings wildly and tries to grab Invader but Invader ducks away from it all and hits his double chop to land Brody on his keister in the corner. I'm not even sure that was an intentional bump -- I think Invader might've caught him off guard and legit rocked him. Eventually it spills out into the crowd and Invader chases Brody off with a chair in hand. Invader then gets hoisted up on fans' shoulders and paraded around the stadium like a king, which ruled. I enjoyed this. Even if it was kind of weird watching it knowing what would happen a couple years later.

Carlos Colon v Abdullah the Butcher (6/15/86)

I'm not really sure where to start with this one. I honestly don't think you could do this match anywhere other than in Puerto Rico. It starts out with them being a bit more hesitant, not trying to claw each other's face off straight away. I love how Abby backs Colon into the ropes and that entire side of the crowd are in uproar the instant Abby reaches down to his boot. The ref' is actually pretty great here, constantly checking to see if Abby hasn't pulled a fork from somewhere, really putting across how much of a menace he is. They throw a few headbutts, trade some strikes...then Colon gets a pencil from who knows where and stabs Abby in the eye! He's just digging this pencil into the eye, trying to gouge the eye out with his fingers, biting the eye. For the rest of the match it's basically Colon punching and biting and stabbing Abby while trying to rip his eye out and Abby just takes all of this and sells the crap out of it. At one point we even get some blood splatter on one of the ringside cameras. I actually started to feel sympathy for Abdullah the fucking Butcher because of the monumental fatboy shitkicking he was taking. This was like the time Token got fed up with all of Cartman's racist horse shit and just kicked fuck out of him on the Christian Rock Festival stage, except this Cartman is a psychopath (or more of a psychopath) who stabs people with a fork and Token kicked fuck out of him for twenty whole minutes. And the crowd eats it all up! The doctor comes in to check on Abby, Abby pushes him away because he will not die, so Colon goes back to punching him in the eye and smashing him with a wooden chair and standing on his head! Abby throws maybe six strikes the whole match. The rest of it is Colon abusing him. Relentlessly. There was one bit where Colon was peppering him with fists against the ropes and Abby was almost convulsing on his feet, bouncing off the ropes as if they were the only thing keeping him upright. I'm not sure how good this actually was, but it was one of the most engrossing, borderline-disturbing matches I've seen in ages. Maybe ever.

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