Hansen v Williams; Hansen v Funks!

Stan Hansen v Steve Williams (All Japan, 6/5/90)

There's been a fair bit of talk recently about what a "hoss fight" is and/or should look like. Among wrestling fans, obviously. Hoss fight isn't currently a topic of discussion on BBC Question Time. But in the wake of that last NXT TakeOver where Keith Lee and Dominik Dijakovic had the match they had, the question has been posed: can it really be considered a hoss fight when the two hosses are wrestling like cruiserweights? What constitutes a hoss fight in the first place? Does the mere presence of hoss-like individuals mean that, by definition, a hoss fight is in the offing? All very pertinent queries. I suppose, as my great grandmother used to say, one man's motherfucker is another man's fucker of mothers, so maybe each and every one of us has a different definition of what hoss fight truly entails. And this felt like a hoss fight to me. A couple brick shithouse bruisers being brick shithouses and leaving bruises on each other. Nothing fancy, everything messy, everything nasty. I think 90s Hansen is my favourite Hansen at this point. He isn't as much of a straight ahead whirlwind as he was in his physical prime, but he has that vulnerability in the 90s that comes with age and his body breaking down a bit. He feels more and more beatable, ever so slightly less like a force of nature but a human being you can strategize against. Doc's strategy was to clobber him in the head until he drew blood, then clobber him some more until he couldn't get back up. Of course you know the bit about a wounded animal and when it's most dangerous so there was always the possibility of Hansen decapitating him at the drop of a hat. The brawling wasn't always the most compelling because I'm not sure Williams in general was the most compelling yet, but they certainly never mucked around with anything elaborate. It was all close quarters, almost no ground given, everything that was come by required a struggle. It wasn't as chaotic as a Funk v Hansen or even Funk v Brody, but it had the feel of those Doc v Gordy brawls from Mid-South and there won't be many instances where I complain about that. The finish was also straight out the top drawer of your Western Lariat murder scenes.


Stan Hansen & Dan Spivey v Terry & Dory Funk (All Japan, 11/15/90)

The Funks feel so out of place in All Japan at this point. It's sort of charming and I wish there was more of it. And hey, this was a super fun ten minutes. Terry v Hansen is a GOAT level match-up so of course their exchanges were amazing. Terry gets clubbed about the head, falls out the ring, falls over the barricade, gets walloped with chairs and tries to throw a box full of drinks at Hansen. His flurry of jabs to Spivey late on popped the crowd something fierce and I love that he stopped mid-combo to hiptoss an onrushing Hansen. Even if you'll never get Dory being as expressive as his brother I liked him going right at Hansen with his uppercuts and forearms, and the bit where he grinds the sole of his boot into Hansen's nose was one of the meanest versions of that spot I've seen. He couldn't really do a ton physically, but the people went wild for the spinning toe hold and it was an awesome moment when he locked it in.