Bushwhacker Saturday (and other 1994 WWF)

The Bushwhackers v The Quebecers (RAW, 3/21/94)

I always dig how the Quebecers use their bodies as weapons. They'll just chuck each other around and land full force on somebody, whether it's a powerslam or a back body drop or their awesome somersault senton. We never got the latter here, but the back body drop spot looked great, with Pierre crushing Luke like it was Dick Togo at his very portliest in there. WWF Bushwhackers are so completely unlike Portland/Houston/Carolinas Sheepherders, maybe the ultimate WWF cartoonification of a gimmick that had been famous elsewhere. Duggan went from a blood-drenched brawling machine in Mid-South to a cross-eyed goober in the WWF, but he was still super over and mostly worked as walking tall babyface, albeit toned way down. I don't think Dusty took a blade to his forehead once in the WWF and they had him dance around in polka dots, but he was still Dusty by god Rhodes and more or less worked like it. Heel Sheepherders were so despised in Puerto Rico that when they ran an angle where Carlos Colon nearly stomped them to death, fans tried to break into the ambulance they were being carried out the stadium in just to finish the job. I've seen heel Sheepherders almost incite riots just by waving a New Zealand flag in some trucker's face. Babyface Bushwhackers ate sardines and bit opponents in the arse. And absolutely fair play to all of them for it. Get that WWF money without having to bleed buckets or get stabbed in the neck by pissed off rednecks. That's called working, brothers. Anyway this wasn't good.


Lex Luger v Rick Martel (RAW, 3/28/94)

Five years earlier with the roles reversed this probably would've been real good. By '94 Martel was a little more broken down and heel Martel was never as fun as babyface Martel anyway, even if the Model character is one I'll always kind of love for nostalgic reasons. He was an amusing shithead in this, though his chinlock was terrible and never made for much of a control segment. Luger worked a headlock when he was on top too so as a match it was sort of dull for stretches. Luger did start out as if he was pissed off, though. He got screwed over at 'Mania and early on he carried himself like a guy you'd probably not want to be in there with. You might even feel sorry for Martel if he was less obnoxious. But then if a frog had wings it wouldn't bump its arse when it hops. McMahon calls Luger an "extraordinary physical specimen; a tremendous mesomorph" and if I ever put money on any WWF commentator throwing out a Somatotype reference it would've been a substantial amount on Monsoon. I love that in about thirty years of watching this stupid nonsense they can still surprise me. Anyway this wasn't very good either.


Earthquake v Adam Bomb (RAW, 4/4/94)

Fun four minute hoss fight. Lots of missed elbow drops that landed with thuds, elbow drops that looked like they'd have busted up ribs had they connected, then when Earthquake finally hit on one it fairly squashed our man Adam into the canvas. Bomb always had a nice slingshot clothesline; always looked really impressive for a guy his size. His clothesline off the top is great as well as he'd get real height on it and land like a cruiserweight. Kane would do that top rope clothesline and he'd land on his feet, which is understandable because he's massive and like, go be safe out there, you know? But Adam Bomb is truly the lost worker of the 90s and hits it like a man half his size and weight, his body going full horizontal as he connects with it. Vince on commentary gets a bit ahead of himself at one point as Bomb covers Earthquake and McMahon tells the ref' to turn around and count. He'd only do that for the babyfaces, never the heels, so we know it's only a matter of time before Bomb chucks Wippleman and branches out on his own, redeemed in the eyes of gods and men.


1994 WWF Project