Revisiting 00s US Indies #20

Carnage Crew & Justin Credible v Rudy Boy Gonzalez, Hotstuff Hernandez, Fast Eddie & Don Juan (Weapons Match) (ROH Death Before Dishonor, 7/19/03) 

Man what in the fuck is this feud?! How has nobody talked about these guys doing this much all-time ridiculous level shit to each other? I thought the Round Robin Challenge II match was a little better overall, a bit tighter and they sold the magnitude of all the crazy bumps better, but fuck all that because this was balls out lunacy. If you're going to do a wild hardcore plunderfest then this is pretty much the gold standard. Fuck yer Steen and Generico v Briscoe Brothers, not a one of them have anything on Fast Eddie. The first few minutes were mostly standard fare, but like their last match even the garden variety stuff looked like it was hit with as much force behind it as humanly possible. DeVito smashes a cane over Fast Eddie's back and Gabe drops what is probably his best and yet most Gabe line ever: "It's a good thing he didn't see THAT one comin'! Cos he is legally blind." The blindness is reinforced as Eddie and Hernandez try to do a stereo missile dropkick (while Juan has Masada sandwiched between two chairs), but Eddie jumps late and connects with little. Credible and Rudy Boy head into to the crowd for a little wander...and then every person involved decides they're going to do at least one outrageous thing that they can show their grandchildren in thirty years like this is the time I almost died in front of 600 people in New Jersey. Masada hits a spider German off the top to Fast Eddie through a propped up chair and I'm not joking, this is the single most ridiculous bump I've ever seen in my life. I was legitimately in shock and burst out laughing like some sort of maniac. I had to record it on my phone and send it to five different people and how he never crippled himself I'll never know. DeVito gets suplexed kidneys-first onto a ladder that's propped up between the top and middle turnbuckles, Loc fucking OBLITERATES Don Juan with a chairshot to the back of the head, Hernandez hits a HUGE running powerbomb to Masada by launching him into a sea of standing chairs, there's a double neckbreaker from the ring apron through two chairs on the floor, Fast Eddie the poor bastard gets chucked as a body projectile from inside the ring to out and thuds nastily on the wooden floor, someone gets spike piledriven off the apron through a table, Hernandez dies off a tope suicida, just a laundry list of stupidity. This was life-affirming.