Stabby Abby

Abdullah the Butcher v The Destroyer (All Japan, 4/27/74)

It's weird seeing a spry Abdullah the Butcher. Basically all of the Abby I've watched over the last, I don't know, ten years has been Puerto Rico Abby, or if not Puerto Rico Abby then at least 80s Abby. By that point he was very morbidly obese and I guess very broken down considering he debuted in fucking 1958. There was a legitimate point in time where Abdullah the Butcher was going by the name Pussycat Pickens! Actually, more than weird, spry Abby is kind of disconcerting. Disturbing, even. Old and lumbering fork-wielding Abby was a horror of a man, but he was slow and his waddle wouldn't get him very far in a hurry. If that Abdullah was hunting you down then by turning and running the other way you'd probably be okay. You could say that Abdullah was sloth-like. But have you seen a sloth actually move? Terrifying creatures. The big long limbs and the claws and that gangly crawl, they're pure nightmare fuel. Imagine a sloth moving with some actual haste. Well that's a bit like younger Abdullah. He was damn near NIPPY getting through the ropes and everything he did was on fast forward compared to what he'd become ten years later. I'd love to see some 60s Abdullah because I bet he was a terror. This was pretty much a battle of the bastards with both of them trying to out-shithouse the other, but the crowd were all the way behind Destroyer and popped like crazy for him dishing out receipts. There was stabbing, choking, nasty rabbit punches and short headbutts to the cheek and temple. Abby does this amusing shriek when Destroyer catches him with a surprise shot and at one point Destroyer did the old shin across the throat while arguing with the ref' bit, and I'm choosing to believe he did it just to shut Abdullah up. Both of them bleed, Destroyer creating a nice bit of grizzly imagery with the blood seeping through the crisp white mask, Abby wearing white pants (but no pointy boots yet) to accentuate his own blood-loss. One million pounds sterling to whoever guesses the finish. 

Abdullah the Butcher v Manny Fernandez (Starrcade, 11/28/85)

How in the christ had I never seen this before? Why am I only now finally deciding to actually watch it? This is not the Mexican Death Match I was expecting as it is in fact pretty much a sombrero on a pole match and that initially kind of bummed me out, but then Abby went and IMMEDIATELY stabbed Manny in the face and Manny was IMMEDIATELY bleeding buckets so maybe I'll shut the fuck up? Abby was positively elephantine in this, a churlish brute, a clodhopping psychopath, a vulgar reprobate. He stabbed Manny several times and when he wasn't doing that he was getting clobbered with a cowboy boot and convulsing. He also took some bigger bumps than I figured he'd be taking anywhere outside of Puerto Rico at this point. Manny hits a fucking monkey flip (!), then Abby takes an amazing weeble-wobble flat back bump off the middle turnbuckle! Also bleeds like a disgusting maniac and this is the Abdullah I remember seeing in magazines as a kid and being grossed out at such a monstrous thing. In fact I think he was bleeding before even getting to the ring as someone in the crowd grabbed his head dress thing (and Abby went for him) and maybe ripped off a wee band aid along with it. Manny hitting an honest to goodness vertical suplex on Abdullah the bastard Butcher was insanity and there are very few wrestlers ever who get fired up like the Ragin' Bull. He had no boots on, was covered in blood and stood in the ring roaring like he was trying to go Super Saiyan. Abdullah stabbing him in the willy to stop him from grabbing the sombrero is - I'm not joking - the single greatest cut-off spot I've ever seen. Even Abby's bump into the post at the end was done with more SPRING than I thought him capable of at this juncture. What an awesome bit of the pro wrestling.

Tenryu Never Liked the Rain, Never Liked the Way it Felt Coming Down, in the Headlights on the Road, or the Rear View Leaving Town

Genichiro Tenryu & Jumbo Tsuruta v Stan Hansen & Ole Anderson (GCW, 2/28/82) - FUN

This was the semi-final of a one-night tag tournament, after both teams had already worked another match on the show. It was never destined to be the lengthiest affair. Hansen getting to match up with his future tag partner was a pretty interesting thing to look back on at least, assuming you find that sort of thing interesting. Jumbo spent much of this on the apron looking like a man who could not be less arsed -- someone who knew his job was to come in for two minutes, have some back and forth with the big Americans, hit a high knee that Hansen was unlikely to sell for more than four seconds, then tag out again. Tenyu's bump off the lariat at the end was a corker though, let me tell you.

Genichiro Tenryu & Motoshi Okuma v Killer Khan & Yoshiaki Yatsu (All Japan, 3/29/85) - FUN

Okuma! What a ridiculously fun rapscallion. All he really did here was throw headbutts, some to the recipient's forehead, some to his neck, some to his face, but it was everything you would want Okuma to do in this very situation. What a lumpy sensation that man was. Tenryu/Khan wasn't as spectacular as what they'd do in the April title match, though this wasn't the occasion for that. They did clonk each other with chops and knees, however. A bit too back and forth to be anything more than a fun addition to this feud, but you can't go wrong with Tenryu v Khan and certainly not while Matoshi Okuma is running around headbutting people in the literal face. 

Genichiro Tenryu & Jumbo Tsuruta v Killer Khan & Super Strong Machine (All Japan, 7/10/86) - GOOD

Khan's pre-match attire here is a wonder. The big black robe, the big bell-shaped hood, couple that with his size and general presence and he feels like an Elden Ring boss that would have you throwing your controller off a wall. He's got some face paint going as well, which makes him look even more screwball. This had an overall structure that really worked for me, even if what they did to fill the time within it wasn't necessarily amazing. Still, these guys in third gear will basically always have a high floor. Khan and Strong Machine spent a goodly amount of this beating on Tenryu, never being above throwing cheapshots or using underhanded tactics to maintain the advantage. It felt more like the kind of heat segment you'd see in America, like Tenryu was going full Tommy Rogers, crawling over to his corner and being inches from making the tag only for Strong Machine to cut him off right at the last. The end stretch was more of the same, just ramped up a bit as Khan and Strong Machine tried to lynch Tenryu around the fucking ring post! That they don't appear to have had another singles match after this is unfortanate. 

Complete & Accurate Tenryu

Tarzan Goto and the Sheik versus two men with cutlasses!

Tarzan Goto & The Sheik v Tiger Ali Singh & Tiger Jeet Singh (FMW, 2/29/93)

Total madness. I'm not sure if the building is small or it's just absolutely rammed with people, but it feels very cramped and the ring announcer is repeatedly shouting "PLEASE GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!" (prolly) during the Singhs' entrance. Everyone scatters in terror as these two maniacs with pirate swords scuttle out to the ring, followed by close ups of spectators nervously laughing as they avoid being stabbed. Tarzan Goto is not so lucky as both of them stab him in the head with a fucking cutlass the second he steps in the ring, then the Sheik totters out and HE is immediately stabbed as well. It was sort of disturbing as the handheld camera catches him blading himself several times with zero hesitation. And this was just lots of stabbing and punching, or maybe entirely stabbing and punching. Sporadically Goto and one of the Singhs will end up in amongst the crowd and the ring announcer is going ballistic again in case someone in a suit who's come to watch the wrestling after work incurs a stabbing. Sheik decides he's too old and beaten to hang with the new generation of folk who stab people with swords rather than forks so instead smashes a beer bottle off the post to a quite frankly biblical reaction. Even our man behind the handheld camera is taken aback. But the Singhs are too quick and one of them jabs him in the forehead with the arse end of a sword. The post-match is insanity. A bunch of folk enter the fray including Gladiator and Sabu, the latter wellying everyone with a chair, including Goto, then Sheik turns on Goto by throwing a fireball in his face and both he and his nephew set the bastard ring on fire! Sheik and Sabu wade into the crowd as the melee in the ring is happening and of course our announcer is beside himself in case Sheik tries to immolate a bystander. No wonder somebody tried to shoot him that one time. 

Tarzan Goto and the Kaientai Boys!

Tarzan Goto, Masashi Aoyagi & Azteca v Dick Togo, MEN'S Teioh & Sho Funaki (Indy World, 7/22/98)

Imagine being one of the lucky attendees in Korakuen Hall on this night. Getting to see Kaientai roll into town before single-handedly drawing 21,000 to Madison Square Garden a few weeks later. Getting to see Tarzan Goto deliver a tour de force of disgracefulness. Getting to see the mythical Azteca. How we envy each and every spectator. Kaientai are all wearing different WWF t-shirts of the era, Togo's with the RAW is WAR logo, Teioh with the classic Attitude Era shirt, and Funaki wearing the smoking skull Austin shirt that all my friends and I wanted when we were 10 years old. They even brought some iconic WWF offence with them, Togo doing the Stunner, Funaki hitting the X-Factor and Teioh doing a full blown People's Elbow! Yamaguchi-San is even with them and I guess he'd done something to earn Goto's ire, as before the bell Goto has a hold of him by the shirt collar like he's ready to throttle the wee fella. Togo saving his boss by hitting Goto with an absolute screwball dive was really the perfect start. You can flip a coin over who the star of this was, but whichever side you land on we got one of the best Dick Togo performances ever AND one of the best Tarzan Goto performances ever. Goto was a demented freak of a bastard here and he loved every second of being able to work his disgusting magic. He was throwing all of the Kaientai boys around the place but he took most pleasure in trying to maim Dick Togo. After Togo's early dive Goto was chucking him into groups of people, whomping him with reckless chair shots, throwing a whole table clean off his head, using umbrellas he'd taken from fans as weapons, carving Togo's forehead up with a fork. Goto must've gone through half a dozen umbrellas in this, or at least two, because he'd smash them over Togo's head and use the broken pieces to either choke Togo or stab him in the face. There was one chair shot that probably knocked six years off Togo's life. He'd wait until Togo would juuuuust about crawl over to his corner and make the tag, then he'd cut him off and mockingly hold Togo's hand out, far enough away that Teioh and Funaki couldn't reach while laughing in their faces at the futility of it all. Togo was a mess after a few minutes and he spent the bulk of the match in a significant amount of distress. Just getting the absolute shit kicked out of him. It wasn't even like it was only Goto beating on him either, Masashi Aoyagi was in this match which means many crowbar roundhouse kicks were thrown right to Togo's chest and neck and head. In the majority of the peak M-Pro matches Togo was the bruiser heel so you never really got to see him garner sympathy like this, but it shouldn't be a surprise that a guy that good was a spectacular face in peril. In fact he'd garnered so much sympathy that in the end one of his opponents was turned to his cause. Goto steals the ref's belt and ties Togo to the ring post by the neck, then smashes a bottle and I guess intends to mutilate Togo with a piece of it. At that point Aoyagi decides this hideous pervert has caused enough carnage and comes flying out of nowhere to spin kick his own partner in the face! All hell breaks loose and as fortune would have it this Azteca person that I've never seen before is susceptible to being senton'd right in the guts from eight feet in the air. This was every bit as good as any of the classic M-Pro matches, only ten times seedier and thus possibly better? 

There was a Wicked Messenger, from Mid-South He did Come, with a Mind that Multiplied the Smallest Matter

Hacksaw Duggan v Buzz Sawyer (No DQ) (11/11/85)

What a grimy, blood-soaked masterpiece. It's the first time I've watched this in about 13 years, a match I've pretty much set as my own personal gold standard for out of control brawling, and by christ does it hold up. I'm not really arsed about comparing it to the DiBiase cage match because both are incredible and different enough that the comparison is maybe a little pointless, but either way our man Hacksaw is involved in two of the greatest brawls in all of history not but eight months apart. He was an ungodly walking tall maniac and spends a fair amount of the match cussing out Sawyer and the ref'. Carl Fergie tries to talk him down so Duggan cocks his fist and shouts "You get the fuck away from me!" and you better believe Fergie gets the fuck away from him. "Come on Sawyer, you son of a bitch!" he shouts as Sawyer feebly tries to crawl away from the inevitable. Sawyer is a complete mess after two minutes and Duggan is punching and biting the cut and throwing him into barricades while people are going ballistic. These are some of the best barricade shots ever and Sawyer takes them full on right in the face. Sawyer taking over firstly by trying to tear Duggan's eyes out was amazing, then cementing the transition by mule kicking him in the balls was doubly so. Of course Sawyer gets his revenge with the barricade shots and now the people front row are going ballistic for another reason. There was one point where Sawyer chucked Duggan over the barricade and hopped over after him, then hopped straight back because I assume he figured someone would stab him in the kidneys. Think about how real a threat must be for fucking Buzz Sawyer to go "wait a minute now maybe I won't actually antagonise these folk any further." He picks up a big wooden table, throws it at Duggan's head, rams his face into it, then tries to crush Duggan's skull with it like the table is some giant piece of machinery only for Duggan to move at the last second lest he is killed dead. Sawyer biting the cut and spitting the blood in the air Pirata Morgan style was...I had to step out the room for a second lest *I* break down in tears of jubilance. Duggan then outright punches Sawyer in the dick and there is your greatest revenge spot in the history of our great sport. The finish initially feels like a bit of a cop out, but I like the idea of Sawyer taking the count out just so he can blindside Duggan. Besides, the post-match makes up for it and some of the brawling there is even better than in the match itself. One of the all-time pull-aparts and pretty much what all hate feuds should aspire to. Duggan being dragged away by half a dozen grown men while shouting "kiss my fuckin ass!" is truly - truly - biblical. Honestly this might be one of the 30 or 40 greatest matches ever.

Mid-South Project

The Man in Tenryu will do Nearly any Task. As for Compensation, there's a Little He will Ask

Genichiro Tenryu v Keiji Mutoh (All Japan, 4/13/02) - EPIC

Well I'll be. A fairly decent amount of Tenryu v Mutoh matches have happened over the years, six of them from 1999-2002 alone, but this is the first one that's really jumped off the page as being properly awesome (the Tenryu/Muta match from 1996 is tremendous, but that's a whole different sort of spectacle). I thought the build and implementation of strategy was on par with some of your 90s All Japan classics, albeit on a much smaller and less ambitious scale. On the other hand this didn't have the excess of those and if you're like me then 19 minutes of this is going to be more appealing to you than 43 minutes of that, for as brilliant as THAT could often be. They start with some basic matwork, nothing too different from how they've started a few of their matches together, then about four minutes in Tenryu sets us on our merry way. I cannot for the life of me remember Tenryu doing a Shining Wizard before, but this was amazing and his impression of Mutoh's little pose after it was maybe even better. Mutoh is PEEVED and immediately has to leave the ring to compose himself and perhaps we wonder if he maybe should've sold his own signature move for longer than six seconds there, though I suppose rage will light a fire under us all and with it comes an imperviousness that we can't quite comprehend probably. The last couple Tenryu/Mutoh matches I watched had Mutoh predominantly going after the leg. I get it because it plays into the Shining Wizard and it makes sense, and it was fine, but there's probably always going to be a ceiling on how much I'll enjoy Mutoh working a leg. This time he changes tack and instead of going after the leg, he focuses on the arm. But also the leg a wee bit and we'll get to that in a second. The transition into the arm work was spectacular, as he first wipes Tenryu out with a plancha, then hits a Shining Wizard that smashes the back off Tenryu's head off the guardrail, and follows those up with a cross armbreaker on the floor that actually has Tenryu tapping out. We get some foreshadowing of the leg coming into play after the Shining Wizard, as Mutoh lands on Tenryu's leg and it gets bent super awkwardly, and Tenryu clutches at it as if it's been hurt. Mutoh's offence is mostly low dropkicks to the shoulder while Tenryu struggles to his feet, so not really much different to his usual low dropkicks to the knee in overall execution. There are times as well though where he'll actually get Tenryu to the mat by using the dragon screw, so it's a bit of a two-pronged attack and ultimately plays to him setting up the Shining Wizard again if he can't make Tenryu submit. Tenryu's selling was great the whole way and I love that most of his offence in return was brutal chops and blatant face-punching. Things shift his way a bit when Mutoh incorporates a THIRD strategy like some sort of Pep Guardiola, where he basically uses the Shining Wizard to set up the moonsault as another alternative to the arm work. And like the actual Pep Guardiola he maybe shouldn't have overthought everything on the big occasion because Tenryu will not be hit with that fucking moonsault. He rolls out the way of the first one and Mutoh lands hard on his already-decimated knee, so obviously that slows him down while giving Tenryu a target to aim for in times of trouble. Tenryu gritting his teeth and finally unleashing the lariats was done about as well as you could want, a bit like your classic "this'll hurt me but it'll hurt you more" Kobashi/Hashimoto/Misawa performances after someone works over the arm for a while. Mutoh counters the first brainbuster by kneeing Tenryu in the head in mid-air and I think he even sold the knee after it as well, which obviously ruled. Then Tenryu gets knees up on Mutoh's third moonsault attempt, hoists him up for another brainbuster, this time absorbs Mutoh's knee strike, and crumples him in a way where you know he's not getting up again. This was really great. They easily could've gone another few minutes and sprinkled in some more nearfalls, but even for a relatively short finishing run I thought they built big drama and did so with only a handful of bombs, really because the timing and pacing was so strong. And the story of Mutoh's strategies almost turning himself in circles was really cool. He had Tenryu reeling and he overreached, maybe because Tenryu is who Tenryu is, but either way the moonsault was his own undoing in the end. And Tenryu will punish you as emphatically as anybody ever could. Just an excellent match. 

Genichiro Tenryu, Tatsumi Fujinami & Ultimo Dragon v Riki Choshu, Daisuke Sekimoto & Great Sasuke (Real Japan Pro Wrestling, 6/17/10) - FUN

Real Japan is a peculiar promotion. Most of their shows around this point seemed to be headlined by nostalgia trip main events featuring a 60-year-old Tenryu, a near-60-year-old Choshu, and some of their legendary buddies like Fujinami (a sprightly 57 here). Fujiwara even shows up a few times and he's like a hundred maybe. They would also have some great on-paper undercards featuring guys like Yuki Ishikawa, Alexander Otsuka and Masao Orihara (and Minoru Suzuki if you like that sort of nonsense). Perhaps this is the part of the write-up where I suggest doing a deep dive on Real Japan Pro Wrestling in future? Ultimo was the workhorse for his team here and still looked nicely athletic at 44 years old, hitting all of his signature spots like a man of 27. Sasuke was only 40 and somehow that feels wrong considering how long he'd been on the go, but he took a beating without breaking his skull so maybe at some point in his 30s he learned not to be so reckless. I wasn't sure if we'd get any Tenryu/Sekimoto interaction as you sort of worry for the old man getting his chest caved in off the stumpy meathead. That match-up was brief but Sekimoto didn't exactly go easy on the chops. Then again, would the old man have it any other way? 

Complete & Accurate Tenryu

Old man Hansen

Stan Hansen v Akira Taue (All Japan, 4/11/94)

I've said it a few times before, but I think this is my favourite period of Hansen's career. By "period" I could probably just say the 90s as a whole and it would still be fairly accurate. The Pillars were climbing the ladder and you had other American talent like Gordy and Williams emerging while Hansen was on the decline (at least physically). He wasn't necessarily being phased out right from the turn of the decade -- he was still one of the promotion's top guys, but before long father time had his claws in him and he was almost becoming a relic of the past. He couldn't bully this new generation the same way he could the previous. Studs like Kobashi wouldn't take it for long and by the end of '93 Misawa had already knocked him off his perch. It's that '92-'94-ish period that I love the most. I still think '93 is the best year of his career, the way he captured that feeling of baddest gunslinger in the west (the east?) who maybe wasn't the baddest anymore, who either refused to acknowledge that fact or did acknowledge it but was too far along to do things any other way. A man struggling to hold onto his place in the world, who'd go out on his shield, dangerous till the very end. By this point in '94 he'd slipped even further down the pecking order. He was still someone who you bought winning against basically anybody, including Kawada in the Champions Carnival that the latter went on to win, but those wins were more difficult to come by. The night before this he even lost to Kobashi for the first time ever. And as Hansen became less of a tornado who could just overwhelm people, it meant we got to see more of him as wounded animal, selling from below, garnering sympathy (for as much sympathy as a rampant maniac can garner). He's an amazing seller, maybe even an underrated one, at least in that his selling is rarely talked about in comparison to his brawling and offence and the carnage that comes with those things. In the Kobashi match the previous night he picked up a rib injury, and that carries over to this. It's one of my favourite Hansen selling performances ever and almost reminded me of Steamboat's at Starrcade '84, where even the way he stood told you that he wanted to keep the ribs on that side out of reach. Taue isn't particularly dynamic offensively, but I'm fine with that and everything he did stayed laser-focused on Hansen's ribs. Plus Taue is someone who did a lot of hotshots and snake eyes anyway, so just tweak it a little and drop a guy a bit higher up. It was actually pretty un-All Japan-like for this period of All Japan. And I guess in the end that's what made it so interesting. 

Tenryu Wants to Get out of the Bed on the Right Foot for a Change, Wants to be Able to Act His Own Age, but the Liquor Keeps Throwing a Wrench into Things

Genichiro Tenryu v Killer Khan (All Japan, 4/12/85) - EPIC

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from this. These two almost always match up great together, but I don't think I'd ever seen a singles match between them, something that's hard to imagine yet also a thing I would never dare lie about. I didn't even know one existed before last night. Either way I figured it would be good because of course I'd figure that, but it wound up being good in sort of surprising ways and in the end I thought it was a brilliant slow build title match. The first five minutes have some of the best grappling from two guys I don't really think of as great grapplers or mat wrestlers. They're great at many things, Tenryu so many that I'd call him one of the three greatest wrestlers to ever live, but I can't really think of a single instance where I thought, "man, that bit of Tenryu matwork there was great!" But this was just really snug, gritty stuff. The headlocks were super tight, Tenryu's wrist lock and cross armbreaker looked brutal, then Khan applied his own bastard of a wrist lock, and then Tenryu reversed that into the slickest fucking octopus stretch! And this was a DEEP octopus stretch. I don't think he even sunk it in like this when he was wrestling Inoki and you know he'd have wanted to just for the insult of it all. Khan's Boston crab was top drawer, really sitting back on it like Bret Hart trying to cripple Jerry Lawler. They maintained the hatred of the feud through everything they did so it almost had the feeling of a New Japan v UWF match. That all builds to them peppering in strikes and before long they're lacing into each other. Khan's Mongolian chop after sitting Tenryu on the top rope was phenomenal, the surprise of it almost sending Tenryu over the buckles to a potentially horrific end. Tenryu was full blown slapping Khan across the face, Khan was responding with a cross chop to the throat, everything carrying real malice. Out on the floor Khan misses a kneedrop off the apron (after hitting a glorious one off the middle rope back in the ring), so Tenryu chucks him clean over the barricade and a table fulla documents and commentator's notes. The last few minutes are spent almost entirely on the apron with Khan trying to get back in and Tenryu hitting an enziguri and two lariats. Khan heaves Tenryu into the ring post and starts choking and biting him, and of course it gets thrown out but ultimately they went about four minutes past the point where I thought for sure they were getting counted out. This was out of nowhere fantastic. 

Genichiro Tenryu & Ashura Hara v Terry & Dory Funk (All Japan, 12/10/87) - GOOD

For a blissful 90 seconds of this we got near-prime Tenryu v near-one-of-his-primes Terry, and it was every bit as magnificent as you'd think. I imagine a full 12-minute singles match from around this point would've been otherworldly. Did they even have a singles match? I tried to check Cagematch but it keeps dying on me so maybe they would rather that sort of information be kept hidden. This is JIP to Terry in peril and we get the Tenryu part pretty quickly. Terry was eating brutal chops like Terry Funk, then he ducks a home-runner that Tenryu threw like it was NOT designed to be ducked, and Terry stinging Tenryu with a punch flurry was quite frankly perfection. The longer Dory in peril segment is also fun, but not quite Terry because obviously. Tenryu chopped him while Terry was standing on the apron minding his business and once again we wish there was a singles match that very night. Tenryu pointing to Terry before applying the spinning toe hold to Dory was also fucking amazing. Finish could've gone either way, or as either way as you can get for something you're 99% sure is finishing on a count out, but at least they never phoned it in. Apparently this went 23 minutes in total and I'm not sure what that would've looked like. I wish we had it, though. 

Complete & Accurate Tenryu

Luger v Booger! Razor v Kwang!

Lex Luger v Bastion Booger (Superstars, 1/15/94)

The indomitable Bastion Booger! This was three minutes and probably just shy of your six star territory. Which is like saying I needed a wee bandage that time a wolf ripped my full entire leg off with its teeth. I miss when wrestlers had props they brought to the ring to keep in their corner. Martel had his ARROGANCE in the spray can thing. Skinner had an alligator claw or something. Jake brought out a full bastard snake. Well Bastion Booger has a sandwich! Booger is about the most grotesque wrestler ever and I very badly wish he'd gone to Japan and wrestled Tarzan Goto in a bunch of indie sleaze promotions. Luger couldn't even be arsed to wear elbow pads here so I guess he figured he'd be in and out in time for the kettle boiling. Match is built around Luger trying to bodyslam Booger and as per the law of threes, he fails the first couple times before nailing it on the third attempt. Booger squashes him against the ring post at one point and Luger no-sells is as the catalyst for his comeback, much like he would in similarly high-stakes matches with Flair where he would no-sell the chops. Maybe some of those matches should've been three minutes as well. 

The Quebecers v The Headshrinkers (RAW, 5/2/94)

No joke, this was a total blast. The crowd are red hot for the Headshrinkers and everyone responds accordingly, including and especially big Captain Lou in the Headshrinkers' corner. The Quebecers are really fun bumpers and Pierre will regularly get bonkers with it, which in hindsight is a pretty obvious precursor to the sort of wildness he'd be doing to himself 25 years later. Unfortunately - or perhaps fortunately - there were no jumper cables involved here. Eventually the Quebecers decide they've had enough and just walk out, and I don't know who was foolish enough to give Earl fuckin Hebner any STROKE but he makes the executive decision that if the Quebecers get counted out, the belts will in fact be awarded to the Headshrinkers! It gives the match a real sense of drama from there and everyone is great feeding into that. Fatu's heat segment ruled, kicked off with a doozy of an inside-out clothesline bump. The Quebecers get to roll out all of their big double teams, absolutely crush Fatu with their amazing Total Elimination, hit a bunch of their spots where Jacques will slam or suplex Pierre onto the opponent, then the momentum shifts when one of those double teams goes awry and Pierre's assisted senton gets nothing but mat. But then the hot tag comes and they throw in a wrinkle, where instead of working to the finish, Samu gets his head tangled in the ropes. I don't think any of his ears were ripped off but it looked nasty as fuck. I guess this was the end of the Quebecers' run as Pierre finally tires of Jacques accidentally hitting him and smashes him back with a forearm. Whether or not this was something they did throughout the year so they could eventually build to this specifically I don't know, but in every Quebecers match there would be parts where one of them would try to break up a pin or a submission only to accidentally stomp on their partner. They never really teased any tension and it would always end with them hugging it out, but I guess this time Pierre was done with it all. The reaction to Fatu hitting the big splash was amazing and for a TV title change it really felt like a huge moment. Maybe the highlight of the Headshrinkers' run, and easily one of the best Quebecers matches. 

Razor Ramon v Kwang (RAW, 5/9/94)

This was shockingly good! Maybe shockingly is a wee bit unfair considering Razor and Savio were always strong hands, but either way I wasn't expecting much and it overdelivered, at times in ways I wasn't expecting at all. Kwang doesn't have the best karate in the world but also doesn't have the worst, and this hit closer to the good end than the not very good end. He also didn't do too much of it, so the few high kicks he did throw came off nicely. Razor's a big fella and there was one spin kick in particular that landed flush, which if nothing else looked impressive. Kwang was obviously asked to do a bunch of nerve holds around this point as he is a master of the martial arts so probably from the Far East and every wrestler from the Far East has a nerve hold in their repertoire, but this took an interesting turn where the nerve hold was a mere HALF of Kwang's offence. The other half was him working over Razor's busted lip, which is an awesome turn if I've ever seen it. It wasn't anything outrageous, there was no grinding of the knuckles into the face, no face-stomping, certainly no biting or gratuitous bloodletting, which is a shame as Vega cut his teeth in Puerto Rico so I imagine he could've sent a few children home with lifelong mental scarring if he'd been allowed to push the boat out, but the IDEA is cool and I appreciate him cutting Razor off by just slamming his face into the mat. I liked the finish as well, even if it was probably a botch to begin with. Razor goes for the Razor's Edge, underestimates how much BEEF Kwang is carrying and it ultimately fails, but it gave things a sense of struggle and him succeeding on the next attempt felt big. 

Bam Bam Bigelow v Sparky Plugg (RAW, 5/9/94)

This was also shockingly good! The start was great, with Bigelow bowling over little Sparky. We're thinking right away that this could be a walk in the Asbury Park for big Bam Bam, but then Holly uses a bit of pace, hits Bigelow with a 1-2 punch and Bam Bam takes a nice bump out to the floor. It's always quite jarring going back and watching Holly with the NASCAR gimmick, this white meat babyface with his awful mullet, a guy who basically topped out at winning the tag titles before changing his name to Hardcore, who eventually became this carny locker room enforcer obsessed with respect and everyone paying their dues and going full crowbar on those he didn't think had done enough of the latter. I forgot how obsessed Vince was with shoehorning various race car puns into every Sparky Plugg match but oh boy was he ever. Even Savage got in on it this time. "Bigelow's engine's overheating here, look at the flames on his head!" In fairness that one made sense as the story of the match was all about Sparky refusing to go down while Bigelow hit him with everything he could think of, growing increasingly frustrated that nothing will stick. It was Taue and Kawada trying to fell Misawa, really the perfect WWF approximation of King's Road. Although Bigelow has way better headbutts than any of those guys so maybe King's Road is the perfect approximation of Bam Bam v Thurman Plugg. And if Kawada could hit an enziguri like Bam Bam then maybe he'd have made a career for himself.

1994 WWF Project

Bret v Diesel - The Rubber Match

Diesel v Bret Hart (Survivor Series, 11/19/95)

This was fine, I guess. I've never loved it and I still don't, but it probably landed better now than it did when I last watched it over a decade ago. It's really slow. Methodical, if you will. But just like, slow as a motherfucker. But slow is fine! Some of my favourite people are slow! The opening with them both removing a turnbuckle pad was a fun WWF-ish version of Ishikawa and Carl Malenko each voluntarily giving up their last rope break. It was an obvious Chekov's gun, one that you knew would play into the match at some point, because both of them made a point of letting you know they WANTED it to. It wasn't some dopey attempt at foreshadowing for the ARTISTRY of it all, it was two guys showing they had bad intentions. Whenever they were close to those corners there was an expectation that it could spell danger, and it had been long enough since I'd last seen the match that I didn't remember how exactly they went about using them. Bret was really good, I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear. He sold all of Diesel's stuff like it was career-ending, then was dogged in going after him in return. The early part is all Diesel and it's mostly of the punch-kick variety, which isn't a problem in and of itself but Diesel isn't the most compelling. Bret will try and go for the leg, but this is their third go-around now and Diesel isn't having any of it. Bret biting Diesel's fingers and raking his eyes and trying to rip his nose off to finally get back into the fight was awesome. Of course he quickly goes to the leg, and it's decent, makes sense because this is Bret against a big guy and it worked in January so why would he not do that again, and Diesel sells it all pretty well. There's a cool role reversal from the Rumble match, where this time it's Diesel who's working more like the heel and brings the chair into things first, while in January it was Bret who did it. Bret's revenge spot by smashing the chair into Diesel's leg over and over was great, made better by the fact he tied him to the fucking ring post with a cable. It's actually sort of amazing how compelling they kept that section of the match considering they were literally confined to one corner of the wrestling ring. Both got to use the exposed turnbuckle in satisfying ways and of course Bret takes his world class sternum bump into it. They kind of lost me a tiny bit prior to the big table bump, but the bump itself is outstanding and I love how it felt like a pure fuck it moment from Nash. Wasn't telegraphed, had no setup, was just a case of one guy capitalising on the moment. Thought there was enough time between the bump and finish that it didn't feel like Bret had to blow it off, and then we get one of the best Bret playing possum moments ever. I wouldn't call this great but I do get the love for it. I'm understanding like that. Hector Guerrero v Jose Lothario is still better though.

The Kliq ruled the roost in 1994 WWF

Shawn Michaels & Diesel v Razor Ramon & 123 Kid (Action Zone, 10/3/94)

This was The Kliq going out and tearing the house down, just four buddies having a good time, no phone cameras, no twittering, no instagramming, just living in the moment. I last watched it over a decade ago and it was one of my favourite US tags ever, and happily I can say it held up great. What a cracking wee wrestling match. We get a quick opening shine, two face in peril segments and one heel in peril segment, and that's basically your structure. Nothing complicated, just vibes. The opening is blistering as the faces get Diesel out the road and Razor hits the  Razor's Edge on Michaels, who's saved only by literally being dragged out the ring mid-pin. Some of you heathens will say he should've sold it longer, but it happened early enough that I don't mind him being up and about shortly after it. Kid's peril segment was short but sweet, working some killer big man v little man stuff with Diesel, including the actual transition where Diesel countered a sunset flip with a HUGE chokeslam. Ramon's heat segment is the meat of the match and it's fantastic. If I'm being nitpicky I'd have liked for them to throw in a few more obvious hope spots, but I suppose Razor isn't quite Ricky Morton and all of the offence Diesel and Michaels threw at him made up for it. They also managed to cheat and sneak attack plenty, running some nice apron cut-offs while Michaels was buzzing about like a nuisance. Razor's punches have never looked better, the way he was really throwing them from deep, sometimes visibly exhausted, and in general this was one of his best pure babyface performances. Speaking of great performances, how about Big fuckin Daddy Cool?! This was such a fun Diesel performance. He looked super sharp, was really good at getting into position for things - which sounds like a back-handed compliment but really isn't - hit an amazing shoulder tackle like he was channelling Hacksaw Reed, then when they started targeting Razor's lower back he hit a GREAT sidewalk slam and even GREATER elbow drop right across the spine. Seriously, this was Abdullah the Butcher level great, just absolutely kidney-busting. I even dug his wonky abdominal stretch and I appreciate how he and Michaels manipulated Chioda's positioning so they could work the classic double ab stretch (and Michaels really leaned back like he was trying to pull Razor apart). The transition sequence is good with Razor hitting a chokeslam, Kid making a phantom hot tag while the ref' is distracted, then making the actual hot tag when Michaels hits Diesel with the superkick. I loved the timing on the superkick as it happened right as the ref' was putting Kid out the ring, so I guess we can call that poetic justice. Kid is a fucking nuclear house of fire and just goes tonto with the kicks and highspots. Awesome sequence where he hits a wheel kick in the corner, whips Michaels to the opposite buckle where he takes a huge pre-HHH bump to the floor, then stumbles into a somersault dive. Michaels was great at not telegraphing it as well, just walking into it with no hands up and eating it right in the face and shoulder. This was one of the best Michaels performances ever. He ruled as the speedy bastard counterpoint to Diesel's brute force, but he never overshadowed Kid on the other side, was great at running apron shenanigans, bumped like a freak as you'd probably expect, then had a great heel in peril run after Diesel went down, just trying to hang in there for his team until the big man could get back in the fight (as silly as him being out cold for five minutes straight might've been). His desperation sleeper was the best, the way he just flung himself at Razor and hung onto him like a limpet. And in the end he succeeds in buying enough time, as Diesel wastes Kid with a big boot and Shawn manages to steals the pin. I might still pick this as the best WWE tag match ever, you know. 

1994 WWF Project

Kobashi v Doctor Death (and all of the head drops)

Kenta Kobashi v Steve Williams (All Japan, 8/31/93)

This was alright. It's basically a big beefy boy slugfest only with head drops and suplexes and whatnot rather than punches and kicks to the eye socket. On the one hand if I'm going to watch a big beefy boy slugfest I'd probably rather watch Ashura Hara v Akitoshi Saito, but on the other hand those two for 27 minutes likely wouldn't have been as good as this so I guess we must give credit where it's due. I actually thought the pacing was really good, and even though the match was generally Big Boys Hitting Moves I don't think it really teetered into overkill territory. Didn't feel like just a collection of STUFF and there was at least progression and such. There was a point where they maybe started to lose me a wee bit, but I'd seen this enough times that the anticipation for the lunacy at the end woke me up again. That backdrop driver was teased throughout and it was always lurking in the back of your mind. Whenever Williams went for it Kobashi immediately scrambled out of dodge and there was a palpable sense of danger around the move. The first one at the end is of course insanity, met with a sort of ripple through the crowd where they might wonder if Kobashi's actually dead, then Williams does it again and Kobashi's selling is something I could be convinced is genius one day and just the absolute dumbest shit another day. Then the third backdrop driver is basically like swatting a house fly with a hand grenade. Cue up the "he's already dead!" Simpsons GIF. I might watch Misawa/Williams from the following week to see how it compares. Later, perhaps. Or another year down the line. 

Misawa/Kobashi v Kawada/Taue ('93 Tag League Final)

Mitsuharu Misawa & Kenta Kobashi v Toshiaki Kawada & Akira Taue (All Japan, 12/3/93)

It's been fifteen years since I last watched this. That's not very far off half my stupid life. Fifteen years is a long time and back then I would've called this one of the ten best matches I'd ever seen. I wondered how it would hold up as just about all of the 90s All Japan I've re-watched over the last five/six years has fallen a wee bit short. Not wholly surprising as my tastes have changed and it's not like I think it all sucks, but still, it is what it is. I mean this is the kind of thing where I could pick out a bunch of stuff that I'd objectively say is good and even great, but subjectively it's just not really for me anymore and I'm old and tired and I work with fuckin children and I don't really care about the line between objective and subjective anymore. Leave that to the philosophers like Socrates or Zico or whoever. This had all the hallmarks of your real top end 90s All Japan matches - the structure, the established roles, the struggle, the big offence, the selling, the NARRATIVE~, the extended finishing run. It's kind of amusing how 90s All Japan was lauded for that stuff as if they were the first to do it, or if not the first then the best, when there's enough readily available footage out there now that would at least provide arguments to the contrary. Anyhow, that's by the by and I don't want to start an argument about Kawada being a poor man's Shinobu Kandori. What struck me most about this was Misawa. Just...Misawa in general. This is the match people always point to for Kawada's performance, and of course it's justified because he was good in it and the leg selling is cool, but I think at this point it's really only Misawa out of this group that I would want to watch in large quantities. I thought he was phenomenal here, in that very Misawa-ish way. People actually used to argue that that dude had no charisma and that is just absurd to me. It's obviously a different charisma to Kobashi's and even Kawada's, he was nowhere near as grandiose as the former, didn't really sell using facial expressions like the latter, didn't necessarily EMOTE like either of them, but I don't think there's ever been a better embodiment of The Ace than Misawa. I'd forgotten the gap between him and everyone else at this point in terms of where they stood in the hierarchy. It felt like he could work his way through this with one hand tied behind his back if he needed to, and I suppose that was the case when you consider his partner on the night. Kobashi's trajectory was damn near vertical but he was still the clear whipping boy here, even below the gangly Taue who at least would use his surliness to give himself a leg up. That said, Kawada felt closer to Kobashi than he did Misawa and there was never really a point where it seemed like he could take Misawa down, not even when he and Taue were throwing out double-teams or when Kawada had Misawa in a stretch plum and was rocking back and forth like he was trying to yank his head off. At one point Kawada flat out kicked him in the face and Misawa shot him an amazing look of "who do you think you are?" before crumpling him with a single elbow. That was about the most Kawada managed to move the needle on Misawa the whole match - a show of irritation. I think Kawada actually hurt the leg in the first place by kicking Misawa in the head, which is even more insult to injury. You kick a man in the head and YOU end up coming off worse? No wonder that boy was always so angry. I love that Misawa didn't even acknowledge the leg though. He didn't need to, sure as he was in his dominance. Kobashi obviously went to it again and again, because that was his equalizer. There was a point after he'd been kicked up and down the place for about five minutes where he leapt on Kawada - after Misawa stepped in and dropped him with an elbow - and just started punching the knee over and over. Taue was really fun as the majority of his offence consisted of picking people up and dropping them face- and throat-first across turnbuckles, the ropes and his partner's knee. It's hard to imagine watching this that he'd eventually manage to snuff out Misawa before Kawada, but sometimes the world do be like that. Misawa feeding Kawada's corpse to Kobashi at the end and telling him to finish what was clearly already finished was perfect. You are beneath me, so much so that I don't even need the satisfaction of pinning you, and in fact I'll let my little buddy here do it instead. The disrespect. Three stars. 

On Wednesdays We Watch FUTEN

Daisuke Ikeda v Manabu Suruga (FUTEN, 11/14/10)

This started out with Suruga making what either could've been the smartest play of his career or the biggest mistake of his life. Against Ikeda, in his own house, you want to jump him at the bell? You want to give him a reason to take your head off worse than he already would? Well I guess if you're outgunned and your gambit is to win against the odds then maybe it pays to carry the fight right to your enemy. Some of this was as nasty as anything you'll ever see and not all of it was from Ikeda. Suruga was absolutely willing to die trying to topple the king, knowing full well what he was in for when he threw that first kick. There was no putting that toothpaste back in the tube, no point trying to be cautious, it was go hard or go home in a body bag. The parts where Ikeda unloaded were absurd. He hit what I can only describe as a running single-leg foot stomp to Suruga's head and the ref' even gave him an official warning for it. Think of the boundaries for "wait just a minute now, that was uncalled for!" in FUTEN and what you'd need to do to clear them. Even the glancing blows looked brutal as a whiffed kick could conceivably have splattered Suruga's nose, then Suruga responded by landing a roundhouse kick to a kneeling Ikeda's face, folding him backwards with enough force that I worried for the man's ACLs. The finish is vile. Ikeda has the mount and is cracking a bloody-mouthed Suruga in the forehead with punches, Suruga feebly trying to cover up before being beaten to death, so Ikeda grabs one of his arms and rips him into a gross armbar. 

NARITA v Taro Nohashi (FUTEN, 12/19/10)

I figured this was the first time I'd seen either of these guys, but after some deep research it might actually have been the second time. The one other NARITA match I'd seen was against Hayato Jr. Fujita, though all I remember about that is Hayato laying an ungodly beating. NARITA feels like the sort of guy who'd have been wrestling in El Dorado or Diamond Ring as a skinny MMA tough boy. He worked very much like I would've expected him to. Nohashi is a pretty unassuming wee fella and works a little differently to how I would've expected him to, in that he will apparently headbutt you directly in the face. Then again, this is FUTEN so why should I be surprised? And for a six-minute opener this was the quintessential FUTEN experience. NARITA immediately starts throwing punches to Nohashi's face, then they wind up on the mat and NARITA is dropping hammer shots to Nohashi's skull from the mount. Nohashi is very soon bleeding from the mouth, hunched over with hands on knees for a quick breather before clonking NARITA with disgusting headbutts. NARITA does an awesome delayed triple German sequence, then when he attempts a fourth one later Nohashi just smashes him in the face with the back of his head, a real alley fight move that looked brutal as fuck. If watching early days shoot style gave you the impression that a half crab was the side headlock of the style then Nohashi about snapping NARITA's leg in two lets you know that things are somewhat different in the world of FUTEN. 

Makoto Hashi v Manabu Suruga (FUTEN, 12/19/10)

That short Hashi in FUTEN run was something else. This is coming hot on the heels of the big October tag where he and Ikeda tried to headbutt each other into a state of erasing basic motor functions, so naturally like a fucking lunatic he rolls into this intent on throwing two dozen headbutts. When you consider the fact Shibata nearly died from throwing these sort of blows it's quite harrowing. The first half was less about the headbutts, but they didn't shy away from throwing lots of mean palm thrusts and kicks. There wasn't a whole lot of matwork, spells on the mat were brief, then they kicked into high gear when Hashi about murdered Suruga with a sort of fisherman Michinoku Driver. The back half was very much an extended strike exchange, which once or twice felt a wee bit rote in your modern puro strike exchange way, but was also saved by the fact this is FUTEN and guys will just obliterate each other. Hashi of course went to the headbutts and by the end had a lump the size of an ostrich egg right in the middle of his forehead. I liked how Suruga tried a few different things, using some leg kicks, some backfists, and eventually getting the most joy from throwing brutal kicks to Hashi's arm. He even tried fighting fire with fire at points with his own headbutts, but they didn't get him very far and every exchange left him on his knees furiously rubbing his head. The final backfist was a hideous thing. This was pretty great. 

Takeshi Ono Tuesday

Takeshi Ono & Takahiro Oba v Kengo Mashimo & Manabu Suruga (FUTEN, 5/30/10)

What a ridiculous thing. It's kind of wild that wrestling like this even exists, where people are willingly being hit by other people to such ridiculous degrees, yet we treasure it all the same - perhaps somewhat guiltily - as it is the very best wrestling of them all. This was pretty much a classic of the style in all the ways you'd expect from a classic in this style, with an extra little built-in story to really put it over the top. Takahiro Oba is sort of a goofball. A goofball who'll smack you really hard in the face as this is FUTEN at the end of the day, but he's there for some comic relief and provides a bit of light-heartedness in amongst the violence. Well tonight he was made to step up to the plate, to prove he is no mere schmuck and that he can hold his own, even if it only means lending a hand once or twice so Ono can bring home the bacon. He started out acting kind of silly and Mashimo even indulged him a little when Oba was doing his little psych out bit. His goofier strikes at least have a charm to them, like his Mongolian chops, then he'll throw big forearms to the ear or Kikuchi someone with a headbutt just to remind you what you're watching. The first five minutes feature all possible match-ups and Oba comes out victorious in both of his, the exchange with Mashimo being pretty breathtaking in how slick it was, ending with a gorgeous armbar from Oba. Eventually Mashimo and Suruga isolate him and face in PERIL takes on a new meaning in this house. There's one moment where Ono tries to come in for the save and Mashimo, while holding Oba in a rear waist lock, shifts his weight and just thrust kicks him right in the throat. Takeshi Ono as the hot tag guy must be one of the most terrifying things in wrestling as he comes in like a wrecking ball, all limbs and fists, tries to take the jaw off Suruga with punches and then full force punts him in the elbow. The string of German suplexes that Ono takes is insane, culminating with one into the corner where it looked like it gave him a seizure. And then the stretch run is your classic Battlarts/FUTEN finishing run with Ono and Suruga lighting each other to the moon. Oba and Mashimo largely stay out the way for the last five minutes or so, but Oba has to make one big save for his team by breaking up a deep armbar. Even his silliness led to a mean bit of nastiness as he went for a legdrop on Suruga but overshot it and basically did a full senton right right on Suruga's head. Some truly unhinged violence towards the end - uppercuts, backfists, penalty kicks, the whole FUTEN playbook on display. There's that moment right before the finish where Suruga can barely stand and you know Ono is about to unleash hell and then he does and Suruga is dead. The very best wrestling. 

Last Time I Hiked Up Mid-South Mountain I Didn't Come Back for a Week or Two. Cost Me the Job and the Girl I've Been Singing for, now I'm Stuck Moaning these Love Sick Blues

Ric Flair v Ted DiBiase (11/6/85)

One of the great match-angle packages in wrestling history. When it first got some decent exposure in our circle of hell/the internet there was talk of it being the best double turn ever, and while I'm not sure that's the case I can at least buy it as being up there. DiBiase had been on a tear as the number one heel in the territory for the past four years. He had the loaded glove and it put away everyone he crossed paths with. After all that time it made sense that he was in line for a chance at the big belt, so when Flair rolled into town and Butch Reed couldn't make the match, DiBiase stepped up. Then Dick Murdoch, who'd been back for a few months as the lovable sort of good-natured southern boy that you wouldn't have taken for a closet white supremacist, took umbrage and asked DiBiase to step aside. Murdoch felt as though HE should be next man up. So when DiBiase refused to back down Murdoch cleaned his clock. The first punch he throws is one of the best punches ever, the sound of it being caught perfectly through Boyd Pierce's microphone. Murdoch rams DiBiase into the post and DiBiase goes bananas with the blade. After about ten seconds he's left an actual puddle of blood on the floor and he's covered head to toe. As we cut to commercial Flair grabs the mic and says he's heading for home, paycheque in the mail after an easy night's work. When we get back we hear that matchmaker Grizzly Smith has confirmed that there WILL be a title match on TV, and at that point DiBiase stumbles back out to the ring with a bandaged up forehead and generally looking like he's been robbed and beaten in the street. The match itself is short and honestly not all that different from most Flair studio matches. It's sort of amusing seeing how he'll still go to the top rope even in a promotion where top rope moves are banned, or how he'll corral DiBiase into headlock rope-running sequences late in the match when DiBiase is trying to sell can't-stand-up exhaustion from the blood loss. A man truly determined to play the greatest hits, when playing some other tracks might've been a more appropriate option. But this was all about DiBiase anyway, and as far as babyface DiBiase performances go this might be his very best. I guess the circumstances almost drive you to make the comparison with Austin, where both guys used an epic blade job to solidify themselves as men of the people. I don't really care whose performance was better or if they're even really comparable in the first place, but this is about as good as it gets for blood loss, last-legs selling to garner sympathy. He would not stay down and both Ross and Watts on commentary drove home the point that, even if he didn't have the cleanest of pasts, his technical pedigree was inarguable and clearly he had the heart of a lion. The bandage only stays on for a few minutes and a few minutes after that he's a complete mess again. I wish Flair drew some more attention to it, got a little vicious in that awesome way he sometimes would, but DiBiase drew enough attention to it with the way he wouldn't be able to follow up on moves, how he could barely even cover Flair, and then the bump over the top and his struggle to get back to his feet. If there was any question about Murdoch being a changed man then the brainbuster on the concrete made sure of it, DiBiase being carted out on a stretcher after convulsing on the floor, Murdoch with his shirt off as if he expected any sort of fight. Maybe those two will settle that new score at some point, and maybe it'll be good? 

Mid-South Project

Danielson v Page II...with Bloodletting!

Adam Page v Bryan Danielson (AEW Dynamite, 1/5/22)

I think I actually preferred their first match to this one, which isn't something I'd have expected prior to watching them considering one match lasts an hour and the other does not last an hour, and also one has tonnes of blood and the match that lasts an hour only has half that much blood. But this was pretty great, even the parts that didn't have all the blood! I liked the opening stretch a lot. Danielson has wrestled a goodly amount of sixty-minute matches in his long and acclaimed career while Page has wrestled exactly one. If it goes the distance this time it'll be decided by the judges, and even if the last match ended with Page on top, Danielson is obviously confident that the same won't happen again. His jumping jack horse shit was just about my favourite part of the first match so I loved him doing it straight out the gate here, killing some time while riling up Page into the bargain, even doing it right in front of the judges while Jerry Lynn scribbles something in his wee notepad. It had the feel of Mayweather almost toying with someone he knew he'd dominate on points by the end. Then Page decided none of that would be happening and melted him with a tope. Page in control is good stuff, but the match goes up a level when he tries another tope and Danielson chucks him into the guardrail. Danielson is Danielson working the arm and of course it's good, then Page takes a header into the steps and the match goes up a level again. Danielson was a demon attacking the cut and trying to draw as much blood as possible, leaving a small puddle of it on the immaculately shiny steps. I thought the strategy shift from him played out great. He went after the arm when that opportunity presented itself, which of course made sense because it takes away the stupid slingshot lariat thing that's way too stupid for a name as cool as Buckshot, but then an even better opportunity arose and Danielson let his vicious side take over. When Danielson gets cut open as well (with a nice ode to Unified, but not idiotic as fuck) you maybe question that strategy shift. Danielson never blazed his trail engaging in bloodbaths and ripping at cut open foreheads. He's a technician, he operates with precision, he'll pick you apart limb by limb and in the end, one way or another, you will submit. Playing Hangman's game was RISKY BUSINESS, DADDEH. Prolly. Either way the home stretch is super dramatic and had about as good a duelling headbutt exchange as you can get without it veering obviously into the sort of demented headbutt carry on someone with a history of concussions should not be doing. The bit where he collapsed in a heap to avoid the lariat ruled, mostly because it wasn't played as an Omega avoiding the Rainmaker moment but rather because three seconds later he was rolling Page up in the small package. Truly a moment of playing possum that even Bret Hart would've been proud of. Coincidentally these two had a third match on Dynamite the other night so I'll probably watch that this weekend. I'd also be happy if they just gave Danielson the belt and let him have an AEW equivalent of the ROH run. But cap every match at like 12 minutes or something. I would like that. 

Revisiting 90s Joshi #41

Aja Kong & Kyoko Inoue v Eagle Sawai & Leo Kitamura (LLPW, 6/15/93)

The inter-promotional wrestling brings us the goods once again. This was mostly about the Aja/Eagle pairing for me. There was a wee bit of ill will there from the last tag they were on opposite sides of, so it meant we got plenty of meaty shots and parts where they'd just Vader-style run into each other. I couldn't tell you if I'd seen one Leo Kitamura match before this but she was a pretty great whipping girl on the night. She was kitted out like Kyoko with the face paint and tassels, and I'm not sure if she did that as a deliberate wind-up but she got her clock well cleaned for it. You could make a good case she was the star of this with her scrappiness and sympathy-garnering. Aja was thoroughly dismissive of her and at points it looked like she maybe even felt bad about walloping the poor girl. She'd take her down after Kitamura threw some feeble slaps, but then instead of pounding her head into the mat like she would against many others, she just tagged out and let Kyoko deal with it. Aja was also really fun taking whatever offence Kitamura could muster, the best being her quick springboard elbow out the corner where she went full bodyweight into Aja's chest, bounced off her like a crash test dummy, yet stunned her briefly enough so Kitamura could make the tag. An extended heat segment would've really pushed it over the top, but what we did get was the sort of thing you want and by the end Kitamura looked like she was struggling to even stay upright. I don't have much to say about Kyoko. I've largely avoided her going through this stuff unless she's opposite someone I really like and I came out of this thinking that if I was going to watch someone dressed in Kyoko Inoue garb I'd rather it was Leo Kitamura.