Not that I've said this before, but good golly miss molly the Tonga Kid should've been a megastar. The very first Wrestlemania was only three months away, the Piper/Snuka feud was wrapping up. Job Mr T out to Piper before the PPV and have the Tonga Kid step in as T's replacement and then the next night have the Tonga Kid pin Hogan clean on Nitro. Stupid fuckin McMahon. Honestly the Piper/Snuka feud must've been one of the hottest things to grace the Garden, especially the second chapter of it after Snuka was taken out in MSG. He comes back just as Piper turns his attention to the Tonga Kid, Piper and the Kid have that match a month earlier with rabid heat and Snuka in the Kid's corner, the post-match of that sets up this, and now everyone in attendance is going full bonkers. Just perfect feud progression and heat-building. Does Bob Orton deserve a Complete & Accurate? Because he was awesome here. His forearm shivers all looked great, there was one falling elbow that he really made a point of measuring before dropping right in the Tonga Kid's face, then he hits a fucking top rope Vader Bomb and fully eats Snuka's knees in the landing. I loved the part where they were working over the Tonga Kid and Piper rammed Kid's head into Orton's elbow, but of course the Tonga Kid is one of them island folk so his head is granite-hard and Orton actually sold the elbow! He was taking a page out of Greg Valentine's playbook as well, grabbing the Kid by the ears and smashing the back of his head into the canvas. A real surly bastard performance and a great counterpoint to Piper's playing to the back row madness. Piper has two of the greatest eye pokes you've ever seen in this, btw. Nobody does it better than Hot Rod. The Tonga Kid is such a great face in peril, not just because he flies into everything and bumps big and EMOTES well, but because he really nails his timing on teased comebacks, way better than you'd expect from someone who'd been wrestling for all of one year. Plus he has charisma up to fuckin HERE and every exchange with Piper is off the charts. Even when you think they're about to take it home they keep going and the last couple minutes are super dramatic, everyone brawling around the ring, Snuka and the Kid roaring themselves into one last push, the roof coming off the place. I loved this so much.
Roddy Piper & Bob Orton v Jimmy Snuka & Junkyard Dog (Texas Tornado Rules) (WWF, 1/21/85) - FUN
I guess the Tonga Kid is out the door now because he doesn't seem to appear in any WWF footage for the year. They must've told him they weren't putting the belt on him at Wrestlemania and like a man who knows his own worth he decided to take his talents where they'd be appreciated. JYD is fun enough as a replacement and will do amusing headbutt shtick and possibly bite someone on the arse, but he's no Tonga Kid. The pre-match graphic has Piper hailing from "Glascow, Scotland" and somebody needs to have a word with these pricks. Glass Cow. Fuck up. In addition to that wanton ridiculousness this was dragged down a wee bit by an extended double sleeper hold segment in the middle, kind of built around JYD and Snuka trying to stay awake long enough to clasp hands, like the Arnold Schwarzenegger/Carl Weathers handshake meme from Predator or some sort of fusion ritual from Dragonball Z. I get that you can't really do a spot like that in a regular tag match, but it didn't do much for the heat and this is a crowd that is molten for every bit of Piper v Snuka. JYD's hand went down about seven times as well and you know Gorilla and Gene were absolutely hosing the ref' on commentary. If I was a WWF official I'd have gone on strike. To hell with those two. And I played fitba so I don't even like referees!
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