Sunday, 24 February 2013

Boozehound Watches Something Random #8

Daisuke Ikeda & Takahiro Oba v Makoto Hashi & Kengo Mashimo (FUTEN, 10/24/10)

This shit right here. You know you're watching FUTEN when the pre-match fun and games has someone getting kicked directly in the throat. Then the bell rings and ohhhhhh fuck is this just an absolute slaughterhouse of a wrestling match. So many moments of truly harrowing violence. So many. There were times where someone would be on their hands and knees trying to get up, and Ikeda would be hovering around and I'd be thinking "oh Christ he's gonna punt him in the face" and then BAM he punts him in the face. Ikeda v Hashi is really the story here. I mean, everybody is bringing the violence and hurling crazy shots, but it's Ikeda and Hashi that take it to another level entirely. They get pretty chippy with each other early, with Ikeda coming in to break up Hashi submissions by kicking him in the neck really really really hard. When they first wind up squaring off Ikeda starts throwing headbutts, but you won't beat Hashi in a headbutt contest and Hashi just murders him with headbutts. Disgusting headbutts. You've never seen anything like this. No, really, I'm telling you. Ikeda keeps coming back and trying to win at this game, but he loses every time. He's just too stubborn to give a fuck. Last ten minutes are everything you expect and more out of a big time FUTEN stretch run. Hashi assumes the Ishikawa role and so he and Ikeda proceed to beat the absolute living fucking dogshit out of each other. The heabutts come into play again, and there's a few gruesome close-up camera shots of a half-dead Ikeda's opened up forehead. Hashi's head was probably split as well, but I couldn't tell for sure whether it was his own blood or Ikeda's. Ikeda tries to tag out, but Oba slaps him and tells him to get back in there and fight. "This is YOUR house, motherfucker!" And so Ikeda gets back in there and fights. And fights, and fights, and fights. Won't stay down no matter how often his brains get rattled. He won't win a headbutt battle, but he'll kick your liver through your ribcage. And if you thought the headbutts were nasty, wait until you see the kicks. The final kick...there are no words. This shit right here.

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