Sasha Banks v Asuka (WWE RAW, 1/29/18)
I thought this was pretty pedestrian up until Sasha did what she'll do and nearly kill herself on a dive. It wasn't bad or anything, they got nice and chippy and I liked Sasha just taking it straight to Asuka, reputation be damned. There was a great bit where she maybe bit off more than she could chew and Asuka steamrolled her with a strike flurry. But then came the dive and everything after that was really good. I don't know how long Sasha will be able to keep doing things like this before she breaks her neck, but she's sure determined to ride her luck. Asuka's spinning back fist/roundhouse kick combo was brutal and Sasha took those shots clean in the face like a loon, then Asuka went and did a Sasha by crashing on her own missed dive. It wasn't as wild as Sasha's, but she took a nasty bump off the apron on the way down. The speed with which Asuka reversed the Banks Statement into the Asuka Lock would've been the most impressive thing in the match if Banks hadn't Jerry Estrada'd herself through the floor a few minutes earlier.
Drew Gulak v Mustafa Ali (WWE 205 Live, 3/20/18)
Really nifty match. Maybe not quite as good as the best Kendrick matches from the CWC, but it still feels like one of the better 205 Live matches yet (as I've clearly seen an abundance of them). This had some real bite to it, mostly thanks to Gulak. Straight away he was yanking Ali around by the wrist and driving him to the mat, like he was in a shitty mood and happy taking it out on Ali. He was throwing a bunch of nasty stomps, punting Ali really hard in the chest, picking Ali up by the MOUTH, it was all good stuff. It meant Ali had to get mean in return and he wound up slapping Gulak really hard across the face and throwing some nice stomps of his own. We got a couple huge bumps from Ali, firstly as he comes off the top and almost smashes his face off the ring apron. That eventually set up a crazy backdrop off a table to the floor, then he took a running post bump and a big heave over the barricade into the timekeeper's area. The commentators were selling the story of him having to stand up to Gulak by essentially being as much of a bastard as Drew, but sometimes if it's not in a guy's nature to be that then it'll backfire. And well, it backfired. That he came back by showing some babyface guts and going to his bread and butter was a nice payoff.
Saturday, 31 March 2018
Friday, 30 March 2018
2018 Day 5
Hideki Suzuki v Daisuke Sekimoto (Big Japan, 3/11/18)
Nice little match that was predominantly built around solid grappling exchanges. It only lasted about twelve minutes and the first ten kind of felt like the early goings of an old NWA title defense. It was methodical and meticulous, and I quite liked how they worked it like they'd at least entertained the possibility that they might end up going long. Sekimoto is fine enough at the actual working of holds, but more than that you can buy it being difficult even for a guy like Suzuki to handle him. He's a roided up wee monster and he does a lot of shouting like the maniac at the gym deadlifting a small house, so he at least gives you the impression he won't be letting go of that top wrist-lock freely. My favourite Suzuki moments were the ones where he was bending fingers to set up an abdominal stretch or octopus hold. His headscissors/tarantula spot was pretty cool as well and you knew that when it came to smacking each other they'd lay it in. There weren't a ton of people in the building, but you don't have to worry about the folks at the back not hearing these two throw lariats.
Hideki Suzuki v Yoshihisa Uto (Big Japan, 3/21/18)
Another fun Strong Climb tournament match. I actually preferred this to the Suzuki/Sekimoto even though Uto isn't as believable or solid working holds. They still had some nice grappling, but Uto was prone to leaving himself open in obvious fashion and at times Suzuki had to do the same as a prompt. "Okay, you're hammerlocking me now, just grab this arm here." Suzuki was great with the little things again, adding mean little touches to holds and countering things in unique ways. He had Uto in a sleeper at one point and as Uto tried to run up the turnbuckles to push himself back, Suzuki just let go and ran his face into the buckle instead, which allowed him to grab the sleeper again as Uto bounced back out in a daze. I liked the finish as well. Suzuki grabbing the chair backfired on him initially, so I was cool with him taking advantage of the moment and going for the count out. A win's a win, isn't it?
Takuya Nomura v Yuya Aoki (Big Japan, 3/21/18)
Really cool little fight. Every match I've seen Nomura in he's been the young guy stepping to the established stars and he's been super fun just about every time. This was him having to deal with a younger version of himself, basically. It wasn't young guy with a chip on his shoulder up against established star/vet. It was young guy with a chip on his shoulder up against slightly older young guy with a chip on his shoulder. I liked Aoki a bunch. He wasn't about to back down and took it to Nomura like Nomura had earned it. I don't know what Nomura had done TO earn it, but Aoki was potatoing him all over the place and put him on his neck with a huge German. I could've done without Nomura popping up from it to land a head kick, but he did drop down afterwards so I guess I'll take delayed selling over no selling. For his part Nomura was really good as well. He threw potatoes right back, his chokes looked air tight and he put the kid in his place when he needed to. The early matwork didn't last very long, but it was more UWF than 70s NWA and they made it look slick. Nomura could be awesome in a few years and if Aoki is willing to crack folk in the jaw like this then I guess he could too.
Nice little match that was predominantly built around solid grappling exchanges. It only lasted about twelve minutes and the first ten kind of felt like the early goings of an old NWA title defense. It was methodical and meticulous, and I quite liked how they worked it like they'd at least entertained the possibility that they might end up going long. Sekimoto is fine enough at the actual working of holds, but more than that you can buy it being difficult even for a guy like Suzuki to handle him. He's a roided up wee monster and he does a lot of shouting like the maniac at the gym deadlifting a small house, so he at least gives you the impression he won't be letting go of that top wrist-lock freely. My favourite Suzuki moments were the ones where he was bending fingers to set up an abdominal stretch or octopus hold. His headscissors/tarantula spot was pretty cool as well and you knew that when it came to smacking each other they'd lay it in. There weren't a ton of people in the building, but you don't have to worry about the folks at the back not hearing these two throw lariats.
Hideki Suzuki v Yoshihisa Uto (Big Japan, 3/21/18)
Another fun Strong Climb tournament match. I actually preferred this to the Suzuki/Sekimoto even though Uto isn't as believable or solid working holds. They still had some nice grappling, but Uto was prone to leaving himself open in obvious fashion and at times Suzuki had to do the same as a prompt. "Okay, you're hammerlocking me now, just grab this arm here." Suzuki was great with the little things again, adding mean little touches to holds and countering things in unique ways. He had Uto in a sleeper at one point and as Uto tried to run up the turnbuckles to push himself back, Suzuki just let go and ran his face into the buckle instead, which allowed him to grab the sleeper again as Uto bounced back out in a daze. I liked the finish as well. Suzuki grabbing the chair backfired on him initially, so I was cool with him taking advantage of the moment and going for the count out. A win's a win, isn't it?
Takuya Nomura v Yuya Aoki (Big Japan, 3/21/18)
Really cool little fight. Every match I've seen Nomura in he's been the young guy stepping to the established stars and he's been super fun just about every time. This was him having to deal with a younger version of himself, basically. It wasn't young guy with a chip on his shoulder up against established star/vet. It was young guy with a chip on his shoulder up against slightly older young guy with a chip on his shoulder. I liked Aoki a bunch. He wasn't about to back down and took it to Nomura like Nomura had earned it. I don't know what Nomura had done TO earn it, but Aoki was potatoing him all over the place and put him on his neck with a huge German. I could've done without Nomura popping up from it to land a head kick, but he did drop down afterwards so I guess I'll take delayed selling over no selling. For his part Nomura was really good as well. He threw potatoes right back, his chokes looked air tight and he put the kid in his place when he needed to. The early matwork didn't last very long, but it was more UWF than 70s NWA and they made it look slick. Nomura could be awesome in a few years and if Aoki is willing to crack folk in the jaw like this then I guess he could too.
Thursday, 29 March 2018
2018 Day 4
Roman Reigns v Samoa Joe (WWE RAW, 1/1/18)
These guys seem to have matched up a bunch over the last year and a bit and for whatever reason this is only the second singles match between them that I've watched. They recapped the match from the previous week so I at least know where the 'Roman loses the belt on a DQ' stip comes from. They teased that early on as well, with Cole drawing attention to the fact it's the same ref' who DQd Roman last week, the ref' getting in between them like a slightly less obnoxious Tommy Gilbert, and Roman making a point of stepping back and keeping his cool just to erase any doubt. He's already on a tech, can't be pushing it any further just in case. Joe looked real good in this. He threw nasty jabs and meaty shots, hit a great tope that's totally different to every other tope in WWE, worked over the arm in pretty interesting ways and spent large parts of the match shit talking Reigns. That led to a cool bit later where Roman was shouting at Joe to hit him again as Joe slapped him with a little extra mustard. I liked how they started working in all of the stuff around the ref' and Joe trying to get Roman DQd, initially with Joe daring Reigns to hit him with the steps. Loved the whole sequence with Joe throwing Reigns into the ref', Reigns pleading with him because it was an accident, then turning around and getting planted with the Uranage. It felt like a huge nearfall and from that point on the crowd were all in. I thought it lulled a bit in the body, but it had a nice start and the home stretch was great. Joe going from dominant to maybe a touch overly confident to almost desperate for the ref' to do him a solid was a really fun story as well.
Matt Riddle v Jeff Cobb (Major League Wrestling, 2/8/18)
Well dang, where did this come from? I've seen more Riddle than I have of just about all the oft-praised modern indie guys, and even if he'll do some daft eye-rolly shit now and then he's generally someone I like a lot. Cobb I'd never seen before and I don't know if this was an outlier for him or not, but I thought he was unbelievable and the match as a whole was fucking awesome. I liked the amateur stuff at the beginning, as they're partners and not about to crack each other in the face just yet, then Riddle takes Cobb over with a throw and you can tell he's satisfied with himself. He isn't a prick about it, but he got one over on his buddy and he enjoyed doing it, as we all do when we get one over on a buddy. Cobb did not enjoy it and so he responded by chucking Riddle all over the place. This was some full on Scott Steiner stuff and I was genuinely in awe at how he was manhandling Riddle. I mean Riddle isn't a bantamweight, but he was sure getting thrown around like he was. After the first one where he got thrown clean cross the ring he had this awesome "what the hell?!" reaction, like he knew Cobb was capable of it but he didn't expect to be on the end of it there. Then Cobb grabbed him again and did about four rotations with Riddle's body, like he was steering a ship in a thunderstorm and Riddle was the wheel, before launching him in whichever direction he felt like launching him. Riddle mostly stopped bothering to try and throw with Cobb after this and instead focused on kneeing him in the face and locking in chokes, but there was one moment where he couldn't help himself and hit a super impressive deadlift gutwrench. My favourite spot of the match was when he hit a big falling kick and roared like some fighting spirit foolery was afoot, but Cobb just grabbed him and popped him over with a rapid low angle German. Cobb also had a strapped up wrist coming in, and while they never played it up huge I did like how it was a subtle little plot point throughout. It never really stopped him from doing anything, but he would grab it in pain once or twice, try and readjust the strapping, then at one point Riddle went to throw on a Kimura before changing his mind as Cobb is still his guy and bros before hoes and such. Riddle's knees are kind of thigh-slappy, but that final shot was a true knockout blow and a great finish to a tremendous little match. I may have to start checking out MLW more often this year. Tony Schiavone doing commentary in 2018 is something I was completely oblivious to but he's probably already my favourite commentator going today. I'm so glad I checked this out.
These guys seem to have matched up a bunch over the last year and a bit and for whatever reason this is only the second singles match between them that I've watched. They recapped the match from the previous week so I at least know where the 'Roman loses the belt on a DQ' stip comes from. They teased that early on as well, with Cole drawing attention to the fact it's the same ref' who DQd Roman last week, the ref' getting in between them like a slightly less obnoxious Tommy Gilbert, and Roman making a point of stepping back and keeping his cool just to erase any doubt. He's already on a tech, can't be pushing it any further just in case. Joe looked real good in this. He threw nasty jabs and meaty shots, hit a great tope that's totally different to every other tope in WWE, worked over the arm in pretty interesting ways and spent large parts of the match shit talking Reigns. That led to a cool bit later where Roman was shouting at Joe to hit him again as Joe slapped him with a little extra mustard. I liked how they started working in all of the stuff around the ref' and Joe trying to get Roman DQd, initially with Joe daring Reigns to hit him with the steps. Loved the whole sequence with Joe throwing Reigns into the ref', Reigns pleading with him because it was an accident, then turning around and getting planted with the Uranage. It felt like a huge nearfall and from that point on the crowd were all in. I thought it lulled a bit in the body, but it had a nice start and the home stretch was great. Joe going from dominant to maybe a touch overly confident to almost desperate for the ref' to do him a solid was a really fun story as well.
Matt Riddle v Jeff Cobb (Major League Wrestling, 2/8/18)
Well dang, where did this come from? I've seen more Riddle than I have of just about all the oft-praised modern indie guys, and even if he'll do some daft eye-rolly shit now and then he's generally someone I like a lot. Cobb I'd never seen before and I don't know if this was an outlier for him or not, but I thought he was unbelievable and the match as a whole was fucking awesome. I liked the amateur stuff at the beginning, as they're partners and not about to crack each other in the face just yet, then Riddle takes Cobb over with a throw and you can tell he's satisfied with himself. He isn't a prick about it, but he got one over on his buddy and he enjoyed doing it, as we all do when we get one over on a buddy. Cobb did not enjoy it and so he responded by chucking Riddle all over the place. This was some full on Scott Steiner stuff and I was genuinely in awe at how he was manhandling Riddle. I mean Riddle isn't a bantamweight, but he was sure getting thrown around like he was. After the first one where he got thrown clean cross the ring he had this awesome "what the hell?!" reaction, like he knew Cobb was capable of it but he didn't expect to be on the end of it there. Then Cobb grabbed him again and did about four rotations with Riddle's body, like he was steering a ship in a thunderstorm and Riddle was the wheel, before launching him in whichever direction he felt like launching him. Riddle mostly stopped bothering to try and throw with Cobb after this and instead focused on kneeing him in the face and locking in chokes, but there was one moment where he couldn't help himself and hit a super impressive deadlift gutwrench. My favourite spot of the match was when he hit a big falling kick and roared like some fighting spirit foolery was afoot, but Cobb just grabbed him and popped him over with a rapid low angle German. Cobb also had a strapped up wrist coming in, and while they never played it up huge I did like how it was a subtle little plot point throughout. It never really stopped him from doing anything, but he would grab it in pain once or twice, try and readjust the strapping, then at one point Riddle went to throw on a Kimura before changing his mind as Cobb is still his guy and bros before hoes and such. Riddle's knees are kind of thigh-slappy, but that final shot was a true knockout blow and a great finish to a tremendous little match. I may have to start checking out MLW more often this year. Tony Schiavone doing commentary in 2018 is something I was completely oblivious to but he's probably already my favourite commentator going today. I'm so glad I checked this out.
Wednesday, 28 March 2018
2018 Day 3
The Undisputed Era v Authors of Pain (NXT Takeover: Philadelphia, 1/27/18)
Man, the Authors of Pain have gotten reeeally good. Assuming this is what they are now. I think the last time I saw them was early last year and while I didn't think they looked bad or anything, they never left much of an impression. But they were a ton of fun here. This was a pretty great brutes v technicians match and I thought Akam especially was on point in showing some vulnerability. Fish and O'Reilly had a bunch of cool stuff to work over the knee and Akam sold it all great, trying to swat at flies when the UE would swarm him, doing lots of limping and hopping on one leg. He was always dangerous, but if it looked like he'd caught one of the two the other guy would usually manage to cut him off. At one point both Fish and O'Reilly took turns charging him in the corner and Akam would keep flinging them away, just tossing them over his shoulder or booting them with the good leg, but then Fish improvised and hit a dragon screw around the middle rope to down him again. Fish and O'Reilly worked like a true unit, basically. Rezar came in swinging off the hot tag and the whole finishing stretch was strong, with a couple awesome moments to boot, my favourite being Akam hitting an apron lariat across Bobby Fish's face. Finish with Akam's leg buckling under him leading the to miscue was a cool way to make Fish and O'Reilly look crafty without having either AoP come off as weak. It sets up a rematch pretty well too, and I'd absolutely be down for it.
Andrade Cien Almas v Johnny Gargano (NXT Takeover: Philadelphia, 1/27/18)
Yeah, this was pretty tremendous. It isn't ordinarily a style I like very much. I'd say it's somewhere between New Japan main event and junior heavyweight epic and neither of those things appeal too much to me, but I thought they managed to play to the strengths of those styles whilst circumventing their worst aspects. The first ten or so minutes didn't totally connect with me, but it was some decent slow build and I did like how they managed to work in the early parity/stand-off spots without looking like dorks. They didn't feel rote or cheesy and I'm someone who has an inexplicable hatred for parity/stand-off spots. So you know, fair play to them. The missed double stomp in the corner leading to Almas taking the overhead belly-to-belly into the turnbuckles was where they really grabbed me. There were still some iffy parts after that, like the way they sort of hinted at going with the back work without ever really following through on it, and at times I never got much of a sense of PERIL, but largely it built super well and the pacing was excellent. I've seen three Gargano matches in the last two years. He's always been a nutty bumper and he was a fucking lunatic in this, but more than anything else he came across as a true underdog you wanted to succeed. I already knew the result, but there were moments where I was all in on him somehow pulling it out the bag. I got goosebumps when he kicked out of that first hammerlock DDT. I wanted Almas to tap on the No-Escape and deflated like everyone else when he got a foot on the ropes. I thought his distant facials were pretty hokey, but I'll almost always take hokey facial expressions over someone burning through shit to get to the next part of their routine, and at no point did it feel like either one of them were guilty of cutting the moment short. There was some laying around, but it felt earned, and without the laying around there wouldn't be that sense of gravity. The Zelina Vega stuff was done super well too. Obviously Candice hopping the rail and spearing her out her boots was amazing, but beyond the pop it felt like a key part of both Johnny and Almas' story. I guess it was similar to Rock/Lesnar from Summerslam in a way, with Vega as Almas' Heyman and Candice's spear as the surrogate Rock Bottom. Had Vega stuck around there would always be the sense that she was the difference maker. I suppose she still was in a way, but in the end Almas had to go it alone and it wasn't Vega who dragged him to the ropes that second time. It wasn't Vega who hit the ludicrous running knees into the ring post. And it wasn't Vega who pinned Gargano clean as a sheet.
Man, the Authors of Pain have gotten reeeally good. Assuming this is what they are now. I think the last time I saw them was early last year and while I didn't think they looked bad or anything, they never left much of an impression. But they were a ton of fun here. This was a pretty great brutes v technicians match and I thought Akam especially was on point in showing some vulnerability. Fish and O'Reilly had a bunch of cool stuff to work over the knee and Akam sold it all great, trying to swat at flies when the UE would swarm him, doing lots of limping and hopping on one leg. He was always dangerous, but if it looked like he'd caught one of the two the other guy would usually manage to cut him off. At one point both Fish and O'Reilly took turns charging him in the corner and Akam would keep flinging them away, just tossing them over his shoulder or booting them with the good leg, but then Fish improvised and hit a dragon screw around the middle rope to down him again. Fish and O'Reilly worked like a true unit, basically. Rezar came in swinging off the hot tag and the whole finishing stretch was strong, with a couple awesome moments to boot, my favourite being Akam hitting an apron lariat across Bobby Fish's face. Finish with Akam's leg buckling under him leading the to miscue was a cool way to make Fish and O'Reilly look crafty without having either AoP come off as weak. It sets up a rematch pretty well too, and I'd absolutely be down for it.
Andrade Cien Almas v Johnny Gargano (NXT Takeover: Philadelphia, 1/27/18)
Yeah, this was pretty tremendous. It isn't ordinarily a style I like very much. I'd say it's somewhere between New Japan main event and junior heavyweight epic and neither of those things appeal too much to me, but I thought they managed to play to the strengths of those styles whilst circumventing their worst aspects. The first ten or so minutes didn't totally connect with me, but it was some decent slow build and I did like how they managed to work in the early parity/stand-off spots without looking like dorks. They didn't feel rote or cheesy and I'm someone who has an inexplicable hatred for parity/stand-off spots. So you know, fair play to them. The missed double stomp in the corner leading to Almas taking the overhead belly-to-belly into the turnbuckles was where they really grabbed me. There were still some iffy parts after that, like the way they sort of hinted at going with the back work without ever really following through on it, and at times I never got much of a sense of PERIL, but largely it built super well and the pacing was excellent. I've seen three Gargano matches in the last two years. He's always been a nutty bumper and he was a fucking lunatic in this, but more than anything else he came across as a true underdog you wanted to succeed. I already knew the result, but there were moments where I was all in on him somehow pulling it out the bag. I got goosebumps when he kicked out of that first hammerlock DDT. I wanted Almas to tap on the No-Escape and deflated like everyone else when he got a foot on the ropes. I thought his distant facials were pretty hokey, but I'll almost always take hokey facial expressions over someone burning through shit to get to the next part of their routine, and at no point did it feel like either one of them were guilty of cutting the moment short. There was some laying around, but it felt earned, and without the laying around there wouldn't be that sense of gravity. The Zelina Vega stuff was done super well too. Obviously Candice hopping the rail and spearing her out her boots was amazing, but beyond the pop it felt like a key part of both Johnny and Almas' story. I guess it was similar to Rock/Lesnar from Summerslam in a way, with Vega as Almas' Heyman and Candice's spear as the surrogate Rock Bottom. Had Vega stuck around there would always be the sense that she was the difference maker. I suppose she still was in a way, but in the end Almas had to go it alone and it wasn't Vega who dragged him to the ropes that second time. It wasn't Vega who hit the ludicrous running knees into the ring post. And it wasn't Vega who pinned Gargano clean as a sheet.
Tuesday, 27 March 2018
2018 Day 2
Hiroshi Tanahashi v Zack Sabre Jr. (New Japan, 3/21/18)
Yeah, this was alright. It was long as fuck but they never really lost me at any point. I mean, it had a few ropey forearm exchanges and the striking generally wasn't amazing, but this is 2018 and it is what it is. I've only seen Sabre a few times, but his tricky submissions are usually pretty fun and more than that he'll just dig his fist or elbow into a body part to manipulate joints. Tanahashi going to the headlock early on to keep from being tied in knots was decent stuff, even if he doesn't exactly have a Finlay level headlock. The armwork from Sabre was cool and whether it was intentional or just another case of Tanahashi having crummy forearms, the shots thrown with the bad arm coming off as lame as they did actually worked. The progression from the armwork into the legwork was organic enough as well. Tanahashi's dragon screws were the best part of this. The first one felt like it was out of desperation, then the one where Sabre was already on the mat was maybe my favourite spot of the match. They brought it up again later as Sabre was dickishly kicking him in the arm, sort of daring him to grab the leg and try another dragon screw, then when he did Sabre just lunged on him and dragged him into a triangle. It also came up towards the end when Sabre reversed it again into a cradle, and from that point it felt like Tanahashi absolutely couldn't go back to it because Sabre had it so well scouted. Finish itself was pretty great. Long New Japan main events aren't my bag, but I liked this fine.
Satanico v Hechicero (Lucha Memes, 2/5/18)
I have no clue how Satanico does it. He's nearly sixty now but he honestly doesn't move much differently than he did twenty years ago. It's sort of staggering. Sometimes when the legends are in there with the younger guys (and bare in mind Satanico is pretty much a pensioner) you can tell the latter need to slow it down a little, maybe work at three quarter speed. They have to scale it back a bit, or sell for stuff they maybe wouldn't sell for if it was a peer. You never really get that with Satanico. There were no elements of Hechicero having to sell for old man Baba's ropey chops or pare his own performance back so ninety year old Rusher Kimura wouldn't be killed. It's not a knock on Baba or Kimura, it's something you expect. They're wrestlers, of course they're going to be broken down and losing a step by the time they're sixty. And yet with Satanico you hardly see it. When he launched Hechicero face first into the post and flung him into the seats and then smacked him with one of those seats it didn't look like the younger guy giving the legend a little extra. It didn't look like Hechicero paying homage. It looked like Satanico, one of the best to ever do it, still being the biggest badass on the block. And I have no clue how he does it.
Yeah, this was alright. It was long as fuck but they never really lost me at any point. I mean, it had a few ropey forearm exchanges and the striking generally wasn't amazing, but this is 2018 and it is what it is. I've only seen Sabre a few times, but his tricky submissions are usually pretty fun and more than that he'll just dig his fist or elbow into a body part to manipulate joints. Tanahashi going to the headlock early on to keep from being tied in knots was decent stuff, even if he doesn't exactly have a Finlay level headlock. The armwork from Sabre was cool and whether it was intentional or just another case of Tanahashi having crummy forearms, the shots thrown with the bad arm coming off as lame as they did actually worked. The progression from the armwork into the legwork was organic enough as well. Tanahashi's dragon screws were the best part of this. The first one felt like it was out of desperation, then the one where Sabre was already on the mat was maybe my favourite spot of the match. They brought it up again later as Sabre was dickishly kicking him in the arm, sort of daring him to grab the leg and try another dragon screw, then when he did Sabre just lunged on him and dragged him into a triangle. It also came up towards the end when Sabre reversed it again into a cradle, and from that point it felt like Tanahashi absolutely couldn't go back to it because Sabre had it so well scouted. Finish itself was pretty great. Long New Japan main events aren't my bag, but I liked this fine.
Satanico v Hechicero (Lucha Memes, 2/5/18)
I have no clue how Satanico does it. He's nearly sixty now but he honestly doesn't move much differently than he did twenty years ago. It's sort of staggering. Sometimes when the legends are in there with the younger guys (and bare in mind Satanico is pretty much a pensioner) you can tell the latter need to slow it down a little, maybe work at three quarter speed. They have to scale it back a bit, or sell for stuff they maybe wouldn't sell for if it was a peer. You never really get that with Satanico. There were no elements of Hechicero having to sell for old man Baba's ropey chops or pare his own performance back so ninety year old Rusher Kimura wouldn't be killed. It's not a knock on Baba or Kimura, it's something you expect. They're wrestlers, of course they're going to be broken down and losing a step by the time they're sixty. And yet with Satanico you hardly see it. When he launched Hechicero face first into the post and flung him into the seats and then smacked him with one of those seats it didn't look like the younger guy giving the legend a little extra. It didn't look like Hechicero paying homage. It looked like Satanico, one of the best to ever do it, still being the biggest badass on the block. And I have no clue how he does it.
Monday, 26 March 2018
The Journey into 2018
It'll be a brief journey, but I'm sure I'll find a few things I like before moving onto something else.
Fuerza Guerrera v Demus 3:16 (Innova Aztec Power, 2/4/18)
I make a point of tracking down at least one Fuerza Guerrera match per year so naturally I was hyped about the prospect of this, and naturally I pretty much loved it. Fuerza is about a hundred and six so this wasn't on the slick side, but it was as seedy and filthy as you'd want. It's taking place in what looks like a dirty aircraft hangar and any time they leave the ring we're literally right on top of the action. Thirty two people are in attendance and just about all of them are following along recording it on their phones, so it looks like a wild brawl between two psychopaths outside a nightclub that everyone wants to put on the Twitter. Some truly gruesome close-ups of face-biting and testicle-clamping. Fuerza was biting Demus on the forehead then covered his nose with the free hand, either to precipitate the blood loss or to I guess suffocate him. At one point Demus was on top of Fuerza biting him through the mask and just grabbed hold of his balls and squeezed. Fuerza applied a camel clutch with his grip across Demus' mouth, so Demus broke the hold by chewing Fuerza's wrist. It had so many nasty little moments like that. They were throwing each other around with reckless abandon too, one guy being squashed by Demus while a retreating child almost got trampled as Fuerza was flung into a row of chairs. For a match like this to end with a Boston crab it really needs to be a mean looking Boston crab, and this sure looked like a Boston crab that would put a guy away. This wasn't your granny's Walls of Jericho.
Fuerza Guerrera v Demus 3:16 (Innova Aztec Power, 2/4/18)
I make a point of tracking down at least one Fuerza Guerrera match per year so naturally I was hyped about the prospect of this, and naturally I pretty much loved it. Fuerza is about a hundred and six so this wasn't on the slick side, but it was as seedy and filthy as you'd want. It's taking place in what looks like a dirty aircraft hangar and any time they leave the ring we're literally right on top of the action. Thirty two people are in attendance and just about all of them are following along recording it on their phones, so it looks like a wild brawl between two psychopaths outside a nightclub that everyone wants to put on the Twitter. Some truly gruesome close-ups of face-biting and testicle-clamping. Fuerza was biting Demus on the forehead then covered his nose with the free hand, either to precipitate the blood loss or to I guess suffocate him. At one point Demus was on top of Fuerza biting him through the mask and just grabbed hold of his balls and squeezed. Fuerza applied a camel clutch with his grip across Demus' mouth, so Demus broke the hold by chewing Fuerza's wrist. It had so many nasty little moments like that. They were throwing each other around with reckless abandon too, one guy being squashed by Demus while a retreating child almost got trampled as Fuerza was flung into a row of chairs. For a match like this to end with a Boston crab it really needs to be a mean looking Boston crab, and this sure looked like a Boston crab that would put a guy away. This wasn't your granny's Walls of Jericho.
Sunday, 25 March 2018
Back to the Indie Sleaze
Masaaki Mochizuki v Yuji Yasuraoka (Kitao Pro, 6/14/94)
Pretty much the perfect sprint opener to a Kitao vanity project. Mochizuki was winging kicks from everywhere, standing up, on his back, from a seated position while fighting off submissions, mostly in violent fashion as befitting the rest of his career (I didn't actually realise he'd been around THIS long). Yasuraoka is a guy who'd show up on WAR undercards in juniors showcases. Those juniors showcases probably captured the spirit of WAR the least of all matches on a WAR card, but this was less juniors showcasey and more spike someone on their neck with German suplexes (so more of what truly made WAR WAR). Those Germans looked great, how he really popped his hips and snapped Mochizuki over. Still, the best part of the match might've been when he tired of being kicked and just annihilated Mochizuki with a huge slap. It was one of those moments where he sort of paused to think about it beforehand, like maybe deliberating as to whether it might be unnecessary to uncork something like that, but then he did it anyway and we're all grateful for his decision. Hard to ask for much more from a three minute scrap.
Masanobu Kurisu v Takashi Okamura (Kitao Pro, 6/14/94)
Sloppy, reckless, violent, wonderful little mess. I don't know if Okamura had even offered to shake Kurisu's hand at the start or not but Kurisu just marched up to him and slapped the boy across the face. Okamura can't have been wrestling long at this point. He's green as goose shit but it adds to the chaos as he's just letting loose with wild spin kicks and axe kicks and landing all awkwardly on everything. Kurisu murders him severely. Once or twice it looked like Okamura caught him flush in the face with a high kick, but no, Kurisu wasn't interested and headbutted him repeatedly in the ear. There can't have been many things more hellish to be on the receiving end of than Kurisu's stomps. Fucking hell he was trying to give this kid brain damage. FUTEN stomps to the back of the head, stomps to the ear, the face, the throat, back of the neck. It didn't matter how Okamura tried to cover up, he was getting stood on and it was going to suck. The half crab at the end was about as nasty as you'll see as Kurisu applied it with zero regard for the angle Okamura's knee. Either he's turning onto his front or his ACL will never be the same again.
Yoshiro Ito v Keisuke Yamada (NSPW, 9/24/94)
Cool little seven minutes of shoot style. I've never heard of NSPW before, couldn't tell you who the majority of people on this card were and I can't find anything on them actually running any other shows. Don't even know what NSPW stands for. There was a Jado, Gedo and Kodo Fuyuki six-man on top, but I've got nothing on the opponents and the only guy on the undercard I know I've seen before is Koichiro Kimura, who had a few lengthy fights in RINGS. This was described as a poor man's Vader/Tamura and that feels pretty apt. It's nowhere near as good, obviously, but it had the same sort of dynamic. Ito is a big jacked up guy that I don't think I've seen before even though CageMatch says he has a 25 year career under his belt. He had some cool throws, a few big suplexes and a string of powerbombs mean enough that you could buy a TKO. Yamada threw a couple brutal wheel kicks and hung in there pretty well for a guy getting dropped on his neck eight times. Possibly the best match in the esteemed history of NSPW.
Pretty much the perfect sprint opener to a Kitao vanity project. Mochizuki was winging kicks from everywhere, standing up, on his back, from a seated position while fighting off submissions, mostly in violent fashion as befitting the rest of his career (I didn't actually realise he'd been around THIS long). Yasuraoka is a guy who'd show up on WAR undercards in juniors showcases. Those juniors showcases probably captured the spirit of WAR the least of all matches on a WAR card, but this was less juniors showcasey and more spike someone on their neck with German suplexes (so more of what truly made WAR WAR). Those Germans looked great, how he really popped his hips and snapped Mochizuki over. Still, the best part of the match might've been when he tired of being kicked and just annihilated Mochizuki with a huge slap. It was one of those moments where he sort of paused to think about it beforehand, like maybe deliberating as to whether it might be unnecessary to uncork something like that, but then he did it anyway and we're all grateful for his decision. Hard to ask for much more from a three minute scrap.
Masanobu Kurisu v Takashi Okamura (Kitao Pro, 6/14/94)
Sloppy, reckless, violent, wonderful little mess. I don't know if Okamura had even offered to shake Kurisu's hand at the start or not but Kurisu just marched up to him and slapped the boy across the face. Okamura can't have been wrestling long at this point. He's green as goose shit but it adds to the chaos as he's just letting loose with wild spin kicks and axe kicks and landing all awkwardly on everything. Kurisu murders him severely. Once or twice it looked like Okamura caught him flush in the face with a high kick, but no, Kurisu wasn't interested and headbutted him repeatedly in the ear. There can't have been many things more hellish to be on the receiving end of than Kurisu's stomps. Fucking hell he was trying to give this kid brain damage. FUTEN stomps to the back of the head, stomps to the ear, the face, the throat, back of the neck. It didn't matter how Okamura tried to cover up, he was getting stood on and it was going to suck. The half crab at the end was about as nasty as you'll see as Kurisu applied it with zero regard for the angle Okamura's knee. Either he's turning onto his front or his ACL will never be the same again.
Yoshiro Ito v Keisuke Yamada (NSPW, 9/24/94)
Cool little seven minutes of shoot style. I've never heard of NSPW before, couldn't tell you who the majority of people on this card were and I can't find anything on them actually running any other shows. Don't even know what NSPW stands for. There was a Jado, Gedo and Kodo Fuyuki six-man on top, but I've got nothing on the opponents and the only guy on the undercard I know I've seen before is Koichiro Kimura, who had a few lengthy fights in RINGS. This was described as a poor man's Vader/Tamura and that feels pretty apt. It's nowhere near as good, obviously, but it had the same sort of dynamic. Ito is a big jacked up guy that I don't think I've seen before even though CageMatch says he has a 25 year career under his belt. He had some cool throws, a few big suplexes and a string of powerbombs mean enough that you could buy a TKO. Yamada threw a couple brutal wheel kicks and hung in there pretty well for a guy getting dropped on his neck eight times. Possibly the best match in the esteemed history of NSPW.
Thursday, 22 March 2018
Whiskey & Wrestling 600!
And so we reach another hundred posts. The sixth of such milestones since I started this blog eight whole fucking years ago. Eight years! Like the 500th and 400th before it, for entry 600 I re-watched some of my favourite matches ever and wrote about them. Such a momentous occasion should be celebrated, obviously. Plus I need an excuse not to be writing this dissertation.
Tomorrow I'll be back to the Kurisu.
The Rockers v Powers of Pain (WWF, 1/15/90)
I can't tell you how much I love this. It's been my favourite tag match from the second I first saw it, but I think with every re-watch it comes a little closer to being my favourite match, period. It's definitely one of the best sub-10 minute matches I've ever seen. Did the PoP ever match up with the RnRs or Fantastics in Crockett? Because I can't imagine anybody else getting anything close to this good out of them and I say that as a stupidly huge Barbarian stan. Jannetty was unbelievable in this and it might be his very best performance. All of the Rockers double teams were great, like the dropkick-schoolboy trip, the assisted crossbody, the dropkick into hurricanrana; everything looked awesome and the timing was spot on. But Marty Jannetty taking a shit kicking was what made this special and maaaaan did Marty Jannetty take a shit kicking. This was on par with your best Ricky Morton heat segments, the way he had the crowd biting on every hope spot, the amazing selling and the little moments that really put it over the top, like when he desperately tried to grab hold of the barricade as Barbarian ran him into the post. What he had over even Morton was the bumps. I mean Morton is a first class bumper, but that backdrop bump was fucking insanity and then he went and topped it with the second one. Gorilla Monsoon is the king of ridiculous commentary lines but he might've undersold it when he said Jannetty was twelve feet in the air. To be fair to them as well, the Powers never messed around when they were in control. They took over when Warlord hit a powerbomb (which played off an earlier hurricanrana spot, so there's another bit of awesome) and easily could've thrown on a few bearhugs while working Jannetty's taped up ribs. Instead they launched him all over the place and went after those ribs in far more interesting fashion. There was some clubbering, but it was fine clubbering, Marty gave it a little extra weight as he was never content to just stand there and be clubbed (or whacked with a cane), and Barbarian was super fun with his cut-offs. I guess you could say the finish was a touch soft, but that's about the only thing I'd have wanted more from. The Rockers were incredible and I'll probably watch this again in three weeks and love it even more.
Bryan Danielson v Low-Ki (JAPW, 6/7/02)
Truly awesome, unique match. The first time I watched it I thought it was about as close to RINGS as I'd ever seen in the US, but this time I thought it was equally derivative of Battlarts (whether it was intentional or not). It's a mash-up of the two and it sort of invites you to run wild with the comparisons. An American juniors version of Ishikawa v Ikeda with Dragon as Ishikawa and Ki as Ikeda? Danielson as Otsuka and Ki as Usuda? Sure, why not. Danielson was incredible in it and I think it's my all-time favourite performance of his. Some of the grappling might legitimately be the best I've ever seen in America; slick and fluid in parts then rugged and gritty in others. It was like Volk Han if Volk Han ever worked Battlarts, and I realise how preposterously hyperbolic that sounds but it's a pretty good indication of where I was at with Dragon here. Those crossface forearms were filthy as all get out and he was determined to take an arm or leg home with him as a trophy. There is absolutely no chance he'll get to stretch out and do anything like this now that WWE's cleared him to wrestle again, but I really wish it was the approach he took more often. Ditch the headbutts and crazy bumps, just twist people into pretzels. It's not like anybody in WWE hits like Low-Ki either, so he could probably manage to parley this sort of match into another five years' worth of work without having to worry about cauliflowering his brain. Ki wasn't simply a passenger in this, he held his own on the mat and his striking was obviously good, but it was hard not to look second best on the night. To say he was a poor man's Ikeda isn't an insult. Maybe he was actually a poor man's Takeshi Ono and that's not an insult either. But Danielson was the richest poor man's Ishikawa you could've asked for.
Lizmark v Jerry Estrada (AAA, 6/18/93)
Title match Jerry Estrada is such a different animal from apuestas Jerry Estrada. It's sort of strange watching him run the ropes and not fall over because he's guttered. Maybe he goes on a detox in the lead up to a title match. Depending on the day you ask me he might be one of my ten favourite wrestlers ever so to me this match will always be about him, but I really did think he was excellent in it. Rudo starting out sportingly before losing his cool and embracing his true nature isn't a particularly complex or uncommon story for a wrestler to tell. Ric Flair stopped by every territory to wrestle every young babyface challenger there was and told that very story a hundred times. But it's not one I'd seen Jerry Estrada tell before. The primera doesn't have the sharpest or most interesting matwork. It certainly isn't flashy, but I enjoyed the struggle well enough. What it was most notable for was how Lizmark had the clear beating of Estrada. It didn't much matter what Jerry did, Lizmark was the champion for a reason and he had an answer for everything. I thought the segunda was a little abrupt even by the standards of short second falls in a lucha title match, but it did give us that moment where Estrada decided he was done playing nice. He started the match with a handshake and a round of applause for the champ, but it got him nowhere. His reaction after Lizmarkk submitted to the Media Cerrajera basically told you there'll be less respect and more aggression going forward. He even ditched the hairband, and if that's not a sign of what was to come then I don't know what is. The third caida was where they really ramped up the drama. Jerry had dropped the pretense of sportsmanship and roughed Lizmark up, much like Flair might have after he'd tired of breaking clean and started digging people in the ribs instead. He also knew the Media Cerrajera was his ticket and he kept going back to it. Both of the big dives looked great and by the end they'd managed to capture that sense that one mistake was all the other guy needed. And in the post-match, unlike Flair, Estrada even managed to show a little grace. Maybe he's not such a scumbag after all.
Toshiaki Kawada v Akira Taue (All Japan, 1/15/91)
I'm not the first person to make this point, but Baba really should've rolled out this kind of match more often throughout the decade. In the context of 90s All Japan it feels remarkably fresh and unique, less about building to that epic crescendo and more about two guys trying to kill each other the old fashioned way. It was more Mid-South than All Japan, replete with the blood and brawling you'd get in a Jim Duggan bar fight. The way they knock lumps out each other is what you remember most, with Taue even juicing from a Kawada chair-mauling, but everything they did around Kawada's knee was a cool thread running all the way through. Taue never worked it over like you'd typically expect him to, but then this wasn't your typical King's Road. He smashed it into the guardrail and wrapped it around the post and went after it with a chair, then when Kawada tried to make his comebacks Taue could just go back to the leg to shut him down. Of course Kawada would still kick Taue in the face even when he was stuck in a kneebar so it meant Taue had to improvise, but at least it gave him something to go to if he needed to regroup. Kawada was as good as you'd expect working from underneath, selling the leg and firing back in brutal ways. At one point he unloaded with a flurry of heabutts and wound up covered in Taue's blood. Plus there's the finish. What a fucking decapitation that was, made even better with hindsight knowing how they harken back to it throughout the year. Badass fight. In a perfect world we'd have gotten more of it (he says while taking a bazooka to the gift horse's mouth).
There we have it. Eight years and six hundred posts. Here's to six hunner more!
Tomorrow I'll be back to the Kurisu.
The Rockers v Powers of Pain (WWF, 1/15/90)
I can't tell you how much I love this. It's been my favourite tag match from the second I first saw it, but I think with every re-watch it comes a little closer to being my favourite match, period. It's definitely one of the best sub-10 minute matches I've ever seen. Did the PoP ever match up with the RnRs or Fantastics in Crockett? Because I can't imagine anybody else getting anything close to this good out of them and I say that as a stupidly huge Barbarian stan. Jannetty was unbelievable in this and it might be his very best performance. All of the Rockers double teams were great, like the dropkick-schoolboy trip, the assisted crossbody, the dropkick into hurricanrana; everything looked awesome and the timing was spot on. But Marty Jannetty taking a shit kicking was what made this special and maaaaan did Marty Jannetty take a shit kicking. This was on par with your best Ricky Morton heat segments, the way he had the crowd biting on every hope spot, the amazing selling and the little moments that really put it over the top, like when he desperately tried to grab hold of the barricade as Barbarian ran him into the post. What he had over even Morton was the bumps. I mean Morton is a first class bumper, but that backdrop bump was fucking insanity and then he went and topped it with the second one. Gorilla Monsoon is the king of ridiculous commentary lines but he might've undersold it when he said Jannetty was twelve feet in the air. To be fair to them as well, the Powers never messed around when they were in control. They took over when Warlord hit a powerbomb (which played off an earlier hurricanrana spot, so there's another bit of awesome) and easily could've thrown on a few bearhugs while working Jannetty's taped up ribs. Instead they launched him all over the place and went after those ribs in far more interesting fashion. There was some clubbering, but it was fine clubbering, Marty gave it a little extra weight as he was never content to just stand there and be clubbed (or whacked with a cane), and Barbarian was super fun with his cut-offs. I guess you could say the finish was a touch soft, but that's about the only thing I'd have wanted more from. The Rockers were incredible and I'll probably watch this again in three weeks and love it even more.
Bryan Danielson v Low-Ki (JAPW, 6/7/02)
Truly awesome, unique match. The first time I watched it I thought it was about as close to RINGS as I'd ever seen in the US, but this time I thought it was equally derivative of Battlarts (whether it was intentional or not). It's a mash-up of the two and it sort of invites you to run wild with the comparisons. An American juniors version of Ishikawa v Ikeda with Dragon as Ishikawa and Ki as Ikeda? Danielson as Otsuka and Ki as Usuda? Sure, why not. Danielson was incredible in it and I think it's my all-time favourite performance of his. Some of the grappling might legitimately be the best I've ever seen in America; slick and fluid in parts then rugged and gritty in others. It was like Volk Han if Volk Han ever worked Battlarts, and I realise how preposterously hyperbolic that sounds but it's a pretty good indication of where I was at with Dragon here. Those crossface forearms were filthy as all get out and he was determined to take an arm or leg home with him as a trophy. There is absolutely no chance he'll get to stretch out and do anything like this now that WWE's cleared him to wrestle again, but I really wish it was the approach he took more often. Ditch the headbutts and crazy bumps, just twist people into pretzels. It's not like anybody in WWE hits like Low-Ki either, so he could probably manage to parley this sort of match into another five years' worth of work without having to worry about cauliflowering his brain. Ki wasn't simply a passenger in this, he held his own on the mat and his striking was obviously good, but it was hard not to look second best on the night. To say he was a poor man's Ikeda isn't an insult. Maybe he was actually a poor man's Takeshi Ono and that's not an insult either. But Danielson was the richest poor man's Ishikawa you could've asked for.
Lizmark v Jerry Estrada (AAA, 6/18/93)
Title match Jerry Estrada is such a different animal from apuestas Jerry Estrada. It's sort of strange watching him run the ropes and not fall over because he's guttered. Maybe he goes on a detox in the lead up to a title match. Depending on the day you ask me he might be one of my ten favourite wrestlers ever so to me this match will always be about him, but I really did think he was excellent in it. Rudo starting out sportingly before losing his cool and embracing his true nature isn't a particularly complex or uncommon story for a wrestler to tell. Ric Flair stopped by every territory to wrestle every young babyface challenger there was and told that very story a hundred times. But it's not one I'd seen Jerry Estrada tell before. The primera doesn't have the sharpest or most interesting matwork. It certainly isn't flashy, but I enjoyed the struggle well enough. What it was most notable for was how Lizmark had the clear beating of Estrada. It didn't much matter what Jerry did, Lizmark was the champion for a reason and he had an answer for everything. I thought the segunda was a little abrupt even by the standards of short second falls in a lucha title match, but it did give us that moment where Estrada decided he was done playing nice. He started the match with a handshake and a round of applause for the champ, but it got him nowhere. His reaction after Lizmarkk submitted to the Media Cerrajera basically told you there'll be less respect and more aggression going forward. He even ditched the hairband, and if that's not a sign of what was to come then I don't know what is. The third caida was where they really ramped up the drama. Jerry had dropped the pretense of sportsmanship and roughed Lizmark up, much like Flair might have after he'd tired of breaking clean and started digging people in the ribs instead. He also knew the Media Cerrajera was his ticket and he kept going back to it. Both of the big dives looked great and by the end they'd managed to capture that sense that one mistake was all the other guy needed. And in the post-match, unlike Flair, Estrada even managed to show a little grace. Maybe he's not such a scumbag after all.
Toshiaki Kawada v Akira Taue (All Japan, 1/15/91)
I'm not the first person to make this point, but Baba really should've rolled out this kind of match more often throughout the decade. In the context of 90s All Japan it feels remarkably fresh and unique, less about building to that epic crescendo and more about two guys trying to kill each other the old fashioned way. It was more Mid-South than All Japan, replete with the blood and brawling you'd get in a Jim Duggan bar fight. The way they knock lumps out each other is what you remember most, with Taue even juicing from a Kawada chair-mauling, but everything they did around Kawada's knee was a cool thread running all the way through. Taue never worked it over like you'd typically expect him to, but then this wasn't your typical King's Road. He smashed it into the guardrail and wrapped it around the post and went after it with a chair, then when Kawada tried to make his comebacks Taue could just go back to the leg to shut him down. Of course Kawada would still kick Taue in the face even when he was stuck in a kneebar so it meant Taue had to improvise, but at least it gave him something to go to if he needed to regroup. Kawada was as good as you'd expect working from underneath, selling the leg and firing back in brutal ways. At one point he unloaded with a flurry of heabutts and wound up covered in Taue's blood. Plus there's the finish. What a fucking decapitation that was, made even better with hindsight knowing how they harken back to it throughout the year. Badass fight. In a perfect world we'd have gotten more of it (he says while taking a bazooka to the gift horse's mouth).
There we have it. Eight years and six hundred posts. Here's to six hunner more!
Wednesday, 21 March 2018
The Grass is Not Always Greener on Kurisu's Side
Masanobu Kurisu v Tarzan Goto (FMW, 1/7/90)
What a delicious wee slice of indy sleaze. This had all the potato shots and grimy nastiness you want in an eight minute Kurisu/Tarzan Goto match. I remember reading the old DVDVRs and they'd refer to Goto as Tarzan Scroto and I guess I convinced myself he must be shit because he's a little fat guy working a deathmatch fed. Thankfully common sense has prevailed and general opinion on Goto has since improved. I mean he is a little fat guy working a deathmatch fed, but he's an awesome little fat guy working a deathmatch fed and at this point in my life as a fan I'd much rather watch him than most of the junior heavyweights I was hunting down tapes of back then. His ribs are all taped up in this and approximately thirty seconds into the match Kurisu leathers him repeatedly with a chair. Right across the ribs and midsection, just over and over. He took a quick break from hitting him with a chair so he could punch him in the kidneys and punt him in the side, then went and grabbed another chair and hit him with it a bunch more. Goto was super vocal with the selling and it was pretty great, trying to lift Kurisu for a slam before buckling over in pain, yelling in even greater pain as Kurisu headbutted his spleen and dug his elbow into the ribs. I loved all of the Kurisu offence as it was as simple and primal as you could get, and of course it was almost unnecessarily stiff. Why bother trying to get fancy? The guy has taped up ribs for a reason, just kick him and grind your fist into the general area. At some point they both start staring each other down while trading coconut headbutts. Headbutts to the ear, to the cheekbone, forehead to forehead like two bowling balls colliding. After the match Kurisu is either presented with a giant trophy or maybe steals one from somewhere and cracks it over Onita's head, which leads to Onita cutting one of his weepy promos about betrayal or whatever. I'm assuming it sets up a match and I'm assuming I'll want to watch it.
What a delicious wee slice of indy sleaze. This had all the potato shots and grimy nastiness you want in an eight minute Kurisu/Tarzan Goto match. I remember reading the old DVDVRs and they'd refer to Goto as Tarzan Scroto and I guess I convinced myself he must be shit because he's a little fat guy working a deathmatch fed. Thankfully common sense has prevailed and general opinion on Goto has since improved. I mean he is a little fat guy working a deathmatch fed, but he's an awesome little fat guy working a deathmatch fed and at this point in my life as a fan I'd much rather watch him than most of the junior heavyweights I was hunting down tapes of back then. His ribs are all taped up in this and approximately thirty seconds into the match Kurisu leathers him repeatedly with a chair. Right across the ribs and midsection, just over and over. He took a quick break from hitting him with a chair so he could punch him in the kidneys and punt him in the side, then went and grabbed another chair and hit him with it a bunch more. Goto was super vocal with the selling and it was pretty great, trying to lift Kurisu for a slam before buckling over in pain, yelling in even greater pain as Kurisu headbutted his spleen and dug his elbow into the ribs. I loved all of the Kurisu offence as it was as simple and primal as you could get, and of course it was almost unnecessarily stiff. Why bother trying to get fancy? The guy has taped up ribs for a reason, just kick him and grind your fist into the general area. At some point they both start staring each other down while trading coconut headbutts. Headbutts to the ear, to the cheekbone, forehead to forehead like two bowling balls colliding. After the match Kurisu is either presented with a giant trophy or maybe steals one from somewhere and cracks it over Onita's head, which leads to Onita cutting one of his weepy promos about betrayal or whatever. I'm assuming it sets up a match and I'm assuming I'll want to watch it.
Tuesday, 20 March 2018
So Many People With So Much to Do, Winter So Cold Tenryu's Hands Turn Blue
Genichiro Tenryu, Toshiaki Kawada & Hiromichi Fuyuki v Jumbo Tsuruta, Isao Takagi & Mighty Inoue (All Japan, 1/26/90) - GREAT
So Pete on PWO has unearthed a ton of 80s/early 90s Japanese handheld footage over the last few months, and if this is anything to go by then what a treasure trove he may have stumbled upon. There wasn't a ton of Jumbo v Tenryu in this, which on the surface might sound disappointing, but boy did they make up for it with every other pairing. Mighty and Takagi were an awesome pair of portly underdogs, taking it right to Tenryu whenever they had the chance. Maybe it had something to do with Tenryu shit talking Inoue pre-match, but the wee fella was extra fired up and even came out on top of a few strike exchanges. I loved his fatboy sentons, loved Takagi shoulderblocking Tenryu off the apron, and pretty much every time they stepped to Tenryu it was great. Naturally Tenryu got more and more fed up with it as it went on and started kicking them in the eye and chopping them in the throat. At one point he stomped clean on Inoue's face and I think it might've popped his nose (it was a little difficult to tell from where it was shot). Jumbo wasn't in there for long, but I liked how his first involvement in the match was him instantly trying to rupture Kawada's spleen with kneelifts. He's still the Big Dog at this point in time so I guess it was only fitting that he swung the tide when he saw fit to. It set up a run of Kawada-in-peril and it allowed Inoue to bust out the abdominal claw so that was also pretty great. Things started to get hectic towards the end with potato shots being flung every which way and pinfalls and submissions being broken up in nasty fashion. There was no fifteen minute finishing run, but you could already see them working out the formula for where they'd go with this sort of match in the near future. After the bell Inoue grabs the mic and I guess says something about Tenryu not being such as smart ass now and Tenryu goes total fucking badger shit. I usually associate the big pull apart brawls with WAR Tenryu, but this had tables and chairs and whatever Inoue said I assume he came to regret it.
Complete & Accurate Tenryu
So Pete on PWO has unearthed a ton of 80s/early 90s Japanese handheld footage over the last few months, and if this is anything to go by then what a treasure trove he may have stumbled upon. There wasn't a ton of Jumbo v Tenryu in this, which on the surface might sound disappointing, but boy did they make up for it with every other pairing. Mighty and Takagi were an awesome pair of portly underdogs, taking it right to Tenryu whenever they had the chance. Maybe it had something to do with Tenryu shit talking Inoue pre-match, but the wee fella was extra fired up and even came out on top of a few strike exchanges. I loved his fatboy sentons, loved Takagi shoulderblocking Tenryu off the apron, and pretty much every time they stepped to Tenryu it was great. Naturally Tenryu got more and more fed up with it as it went on and started kicking them in the eye and chopping them in the throat. At one point he stomped clean on Inoue's face and I think it might've popped his nose (it was a little difficult to tell from where it was shot). Jumbo wasn't in there for long, but I liked how his first involvement in the match was him instantly trying to rupture Kawada's spleen with kneelifts. He's still the Big Dog at this point in time so I guess it was only fitting that he swung the tide when he saw fit to. It set up a run of Kawada-in-peril and it allowed Inoue to bust out the abdominal claw so that was also pretty great. Things started to get hectic towards the end with potato shots being flung every which way and pinfalls and submissions being broken up in nasty fashion. There was no fifteen minute finishing run, but you could already see them working out the formula for where they'd go with this sort of match in the near future. After the bell Inoue grabs the mic and I guess says something about Tenryu not being such as smart ass now and Tenryu goes total fucking badger shit. I usually associate the big pull apart brawls with WAR Tenryu, but this had tables and chairs and whatever Inoue said I assume he came to regret it.
Complete & Accurate Tenryu
Monday, 19 March 2018
Tenryu Had Some Hits and a Few Big Misses, He gave 'Em Hell and Got a Few Stitches
Genichiro Tenryu & Hiromichi Fuyuki v The British Bulldogs (All Japan, 1/25/89) - FUN
This was like 85% Bulldogs. You maybe expect them to run riot over Fuyuki, but Tenryu gave them a ton as well and that meant he never really got to stretch out on offence. When he did fire back he was pretty subdued. I don't think he threw any unnecessary chops to anybody's throat and nobody got kicked in the eye. Dynamite looked a little broken down at this point, but Davey's stuff mostly looked good and chucked Tenryu onto a table with a big gorilla press slam. The last five-six minutes took an interesting turn when Tenryu wound up with a split chin and the Bulldogs started working over the cut. It's a pretty unusual body part to work over, not like a cut on the forehead where you can bite and claw in obvious fashion, but Davey noticed it and went after it straight away. At one point he even started biting Tenryu's chin which was pretty awesome. Finish didn't come off too great as there was a bit of miscommunication, but Fuyuki bridging Davey Boy for about eight hours after hitting the German was sort of impressive.
Genichiro Tenryu & The Road Warriors v Kevin Sullivan, Steve Williams & Mike Rotunda (WCW Clash of the Champions V: St. Valentine's Massacre, 2/15/89) - SKIPPABLE
This was mostly nothing. I hoped we'd maybe get a little Tenryu v Dr. Death but Tenryu's involvement was mostly limited to matching up with Rotunda. It seemed like a conscious decision for that to happen as well. Like, when Tenryu was in there Rotunda made a point of being the guy on the opposite end. I watched the version that aired in Japan so it was amusing hearing the commentator flip for Tenryu hitting a dropkick and an enziguri while the crowd barely reacts. Some bullshit happens with Sting, Hayes and JYD being unlocked from a cage and hitting the ring and a there's a big pull apart DQ and WCW was a hell of a place.
Genichiro Tenryu & Toshiaki Kawada v Abdullah the Butcher & Great Kimala (All Japan, 3/3/89) - FUN
Fun little novelty. You probably know what you're getting out of this when you see it on a match list. Kawada isn't yet the Kawada who hated everyone and kicked them really hard in the face, but it's still sort of surreal seeing him get stabbed in the head and conked with a big mahogany mask. Kimala was biting the cut and drinking his blood and Kawada was just crawling around helplessly. Tenryu coming in off the hot tag and lacing into a couple fatties is what you wanted and I loved him getting sick of all the stabbing and going ape shit with a chair. This was like seven minutes long and worth it for the oddball factor of a cannibal from Uganda abusing Kawada.
Complete & Accurate Tenryu
This was like 85% Bulldogs. You maybe expect them to run riot over Fuyuki, but Tenryu gave them a ton as well and that meant he never really got to stretch out on offence. When he did fire back he was pretty subdued. I don't think he threw any unnecessary chops to anybody's throat and nobody got kicked in the eye. Dynamite looked a little broken down at this point, but Davey's stuff mostly looked good and chucked Tenryu onto a table with a big gorilla press slam. The last five-six minutes took an interesting turn when Tenryu wound up with a split chin and the Bulldogs started working over the cut. It's a pretty unusual body part to work over, not like a cut on the forehead where you can bite and claw in obvious fashion, but Davey noticed it and went after it straight away. At one point he even started biting Tenryu's chin which was pretty awesome. Finish didn't come off too great as there was a bit of miscommunication, but Fuyuki bridging Davey Boy for about eight hours after hitting the German was sort of impressive.
Genichiro Tenryu & The Road Warriors v Kevin Sullivan, Steve Williams & Mike Rotunda (WCW Clash of the Champions V: St. Valentine's Massacre, 2/15/89) - SKIPPABLE
This was mostly nothing. I hoped we'd maybe get a little Tenryu v Dr. Death but Tenryu's involvement was mostly limited to matching up with Rotunda. It seemed like a conscious decision for that to happen as well. Like, when Tenryu was in there Rotunda made a point of being the guy on the opposite end. I watched the version that aired in Japan so it was amusing hearing the commentator flip for Tenryu hitting a dropkick and an enziguri while the crowd barely reacts. Some bullshit happens with Sting, Hayes and JYD being unlocked from a cage and hitting the ring and a there's a big pull apart DQ and WCW was a hell of a place.
Genichiro Tenryu & Toshiaki Kawada v Abdullah the Butcher & Great Kimala (All Japan, 3/3/89) - FUN
Fun little novelty. You probably know what you're getting out of this when you see it on a match list. Kawada isn't yet the Kawada who hated everyone and kicked them really hard in the face, but it's still sort of surreal seeing him get stabbed in the head and conked with a big mahogany mask. Kimala was biting the cut and drinking his blood and Kawada was just crawling around helplessly. Tenryu coming in off the hot tag and lacing into a couple fatties is what you wanted and I loved him getting sick of all the stabbing and going ape shit with a chair. This was like seven minutes long and worth it for the oddball factor of a cannibal from Uganda abusing Kawada.
Complete & Accurate Tenryu
Saturday, 17 March 2018
Katsuyori Shibata v Kazushi Sakuraba (New Japan, 7/5/15)
Man this was awesome. Shibata is someone I love in the right setting and roll my eyes at when he indulges his New Japan main event side, but this was almost exclusively what I like about him condensed into thirteen minutes. Sakuraba is in his mid-40s and looks it, graying at the sides, his scraggly facial hair and his J League superfan ring gear. Shibata kicks lumps out of him and there's a great bit where he's doing his running corner dropkicks as Sakuraba just lays hunched up like a man who's forgotten why he's still doing this. He can't strike with Shibata, he'll lose that battle every day, so he has to dig into his bag and use everything that made him the Gracie Hunter. I loved all of his quick throws and submissions, going for kneebars to set up armbars to set up chokes like a man younger than his years. At points he was literally crawling all over Shibata, tying up his legs and his arms at the same time forcing to Shibata to grab the ropes with his teeth. My favourite was the fight for the cross armbreaker that he managed to turn into a choke with his fucking ankles. Some of Shibata's selling was unbelievable, especially while in the chokes, and I about lost it when his eyes started rolling back like he was about drop (crowd picked up on it and popped huge too). Shibata getting back into it with the strikes was probably inevitable, but I thought it was great how he went to the choke to wear Sakuraba out for the penalty kick, knowing that it didn't work going for it off the bat earlier. I loved this.
Friday, 16 March 2018
Tenryu with the Long Black Hair, Do You Know What Lies 'Neat the Long Coat That He Wears?
Genichiro Tenryu & Jumbo Tsuruta v Roger Kirby & Guy Mitchell (AWA, 2/10/79) - FUN
Young Tenryu with the wispy moustache! I figured this was going to be Jumbo and Tenryu as dastardly foreign heels, but in a refreshing twist it was Jumbo and Tenryu as plucky foreign babyfaces. Tenryu was still pretty raw here and threw punches that were more like forearm clubs to the chest, as opposed to potato shots to the cheekbone. He was armdraggy and dropkicky and his house o' fire didn't involve him punting anyone in the eye. It's not the Tenryu you know and love, but it's always cool to see him as a fresh-faced young twenty nine year old. The heel unit were pretty fun ruffians, especially Kirby who threw some nice punches and later on got huge height on a backdrop. He and Mitchell worked a fairly basic peril segment on Jumbo, running distractions so the ref' missed the hot tag twice, choking, standard double teams, etc., but it worked for what it was. Tenryu doing a Ricky Steamboat small package reversal to the scoop slam at the end was cool. In the eight thousand Tenyu matches I've watched over the years that might be the first time I've seen him do that.
Genichiro Tenryu v Katsuyori Shibata (New Japan, 8/13/04) - EPIC
Sensational five minutes of pandemonium. Shibata is basically the prototype for your chest-puffed, dick-swinging tough guy and Tenryu is an old man who doesn't have time for his shit. Tenryu has no interest in bragging about how hard he can hit someone, his interest lies in the hitting itself. The opening exchange was truly wonderful and ended with maybe the best double punch spot I've ever seen, followed by Shibata grabbing a guillotine and refusing to let go. It pretty soon spills to the floor and Shibata is such a smug prick beating on this pensioner, kicking him up and down the place, throwing him into ring posts, even threatening him with a glass bottle until the ref' talks him down. Of course this just sends Tenryu off on one and he cannot be talked down. The old man is pissed and about ready to glass someone. Shibata just keeps pushing it, though. Slaps Tenryu, punches him in the face, goads him because he thinks Tenryu won't use the bottle. Tenryu punches him back, but he still won't drop that bottle and the ref' is pleading with him because he obviously knows Tenryu better than Shibata does. I don't know if it was brinkmanship or blind stupidity. Maybe he thought riling Tenryu up was the easiest path to victory, but either way he cracked him once too often. Tenryu jabbing him in the throat with the bottle and smashing it over his head was about the greatest payoff to ninety seconds of build that there's ever been. Tenryu might be the king of the five minute match.
Complete & Accurate Tenryu
Young Tenryu with the wispy moustache! I figured this was going to be Jumbo and Tenryu as dastardly foreign heels, but in a refreshing twist it was Jumbo and Tenryu as plucky foreign babyfaces. Tenryu was still pretty raw here and threw punches that were more like forearm clubs to the chest, as opposed to potato shots to the cheekbone. He was armdraggy and dropkicky and his house o' fire didn't involve him punting anyone in the eye. It's not the Tenryu you know and love, but it's always cool to see him as a fresh-faced young twenty nine year old. The heel unit were pretty fun ruffians, especially Kirby who threw some nice punches and later on got huge height on a backdrop. He and Mitchell worked a fairly basic peril segment on Jumbo, running distractions so the ref' missed the hot tag twice, choking, standard double teams, etc., but it worked for what it was. Tenryu doing a Ricky Steamboat small package reversal to the scoop slam at the end was cool. In the eight thousand Tenyu matches I've watched over the years that might be the first time I've seen him do that.
Genichiro Tenryu v Katsuyori Shibata (New Japan, 8/13/04) - EPIC
Sensational five minutes of pandemonium. Shibata is basically the prototype for your chest-puffed, dick-swinging tough guy and Tenryu is an old man who doesn't have time for his shit. Tenryu has no interest in bragging about how hard he can hit someone, his interest lies in the hitting itself. The opening exchange was truly wonderful and ended with maybe the best double punch spot I've ever seen, followed by Shibata grabbing a guillotine and refusing to let go. It pretty soon spills to the floor and Shibata is such a smug prick beating on this pensioner, kicking him up and down the place, throwing him into ring posts, even threatening him with a glass bottle until the ref' talks him down. Of course this just sends Tenryu off on one and he cannot be talked down. The old man is pissed and about ready to glass someone. Shibata just keeps pushing it, though. Slaps Tenryu, punches him in the face, goads him because he thinks Tenryu won't use the bottle. Tenryu punches him back, but he still won't drop that bottle and the ref' is pleading with him because he obviously knows Tenryu better than Shibata does. I don't know if it was brinkmanship or blind stupidity. Maybe he thought riling Tenryu up was the easiest path to victory, but either way he cracked him once too often. Tenryu jabbing him in the throat with the bottle and smashing it over his head was about the greatest payoff to ninety seconds of build that there's ever been. Tenryu might be the king of the five minute match.
Complete & Accurate Tenryu
Thursday, 15 March 2018
Everybody's Dying, This Town's Closing Down. They're All Sittin' Down at the Courthouse Waiting for Tenryu to Take the Flag Down
Genichiro Tenryu v Tatsuo Nakano (WAR, 5/26/96) - GREAT
What an insanely fun five minutes. In a lot of ways it probably went how you thought it would. Nakano is clearly in way over his head, but he's a capable striker, has a submission game, and perhaps most importantly he's willing to engage in any slugfest you put in front of him. Tenryu is one of the most giving top guys in history and he usually manages to do it without compromising his status, so if nothing else you figure this would work stylistically. And I mean, obviously he'll slugfest with anyone. Tenryu's selling for Nakano's strikes was pretty amazing, how he'd get rocked and make those knockdowns feel important. Nakano probably never had a chance of actually winning, but Tenryu at least made it look like the miracle could happen. He'd hit back with the sumo slaps and I'm utterly astounded that Nakano's nose never exploded across his face for a change. I'm not sure who Tenryu started shit talking in the crowd - maybe Takada? - but whoever it was gave Nakano enough of an opening to kick Tenryu in the head some more. Tenryu scoring the win with leg kicks and a half crab was a pretty great fuck you to them UWF boys, too.
Complete & Accurate Tenryu
What an insanely fun five minutes. In a lot of ways it probably went how you thought it would. Nakano is clearly in way over his head, but he's a capable striker, has a submission game, and perhaps most importantly he's willing to engage in any slugfest you put in front of him. Tenryu is one of the most giving top guys in history and he usually manages to do it without compromising his status, so if nothing else you figure this would work stylistically. And I mean, obviously he'll slugfest with anyone. Tenryu's selling for Nakano's strikes was pretty amazing, how he'd get rocked and make those knockdowns feel important. Nakano probably never had a chance of actually winning, but Tenryu at least made it look like the miracle could happen. He'd hit back with the sumo slaps and I'm utterly astounded that Nakano's nose never exploded across his face for a change. I'm not sure who Tenryu started shit talking in the crowd - maybe Takada? - but whoever it was gave Nakano enough of an opening to kick Tenryu in the head some more. Tenryu scoring the win with leg kicks and a half crab was a pretty great fuck you to them UWF boys, too.
Complete & Accurate Tenryu
Wednesday, 14 March 2018
Shinobu Kandori v Yumiko Hotta (LLPW, 3/21/98)
This is about as close to a joshi Ikeda/Ishikawa as you'll get, with the added wrinkle of only being winnable via submission or knockout. It had Hotta playing crowbar Ikeda and Kandori playing tough as shoe leather Ishikawa; not quite pure sriker v pure grappler, but you knew what each woman's bread and butter was. They put across the uncooperative grittiness straight away with the rough scramble that lands them on the floor, then Hotta ratchets the violence all the way up by punting Kandori clean in the face. Many outrageous kicks to the face were thrown in this match and Hotta was responsible for basically every one of them. She also tried to break Kandori's guard by headbutting her a bunch of times and this led to her own forehead being split open. Kandori's selling was really tremendous at times, particularly when she was trying to beat the ten count after one of Hotta's kicks to the head or face or ear. She'd also yank Hotta into chokes and armbars, then reach that point where she got fed up being cracked in the face so she'd start throwing headbutts and palm thrusts in return. My favourite moment of the match might've been when she was repeatedly headbutting Hotta and her bleach blond hair wound up covered in Hotta's blood, which left her looking like Flair after he's had his face ground into a cage. Finish was pretty great as well. Hotta hits a mean high angle powerbomb, and maybe she's disoriented from the blood loss or whatever, but he tries to transition straight into a pin. Ref' tells her no, after a few seconds she comprehends, but Kandori snatches her and locks in a triangle for the stoppage. A supremely violent twelve minutes and a great find.
Tuesday, 13 March 2018
Wrestlemania III
I stuck this on the other night as I was doing stuff for work. I wound up doing little work and actually watched the whole show over the course of a few days. I thought about watching Starrcade '87 to compare the big WWF and Crockett shows from that year, but then I realised I am a grown adult with a job and a dissertation to finish so maybe I'll just drop the idea and revisit it at a later date. Just think how much time I could waste writing about pro-wrestling if I'd finished my degree the first time. Oh well. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery.
Can-Am Express v Bob Orton & Don Muraco
Nice fun little opener. With more of a heat segment this could've been what the hipsters call "a ***1/4 affair," but as is we got plenty of neat babyface shine. The Can-Ams mostly work the arm with arm-wringers, a few quick tags and your hiptoss/armdrag takedowns. Orton thinks he's shaken Zenk, but Zenk keeps hold of the arm and drags him back to the mat face-first. The double monkey flip was cool, Orton's bump over the top looked good, and I liked the finish with Martel hitting the crossbody as Zenk crouches behind Muraco for the schoolboy trip. Doesn't top Rockers v Haku/Barbarian for under the radar Wrestlemania tag openers, but I wouldn't be surprised if it ended up being one of the three best matches on the show.
Hercules v Billy Jack Haynes
Herc's HGH gut is wild. It's not quite at that point where it's super distended and blocky, but he is absolutely juiced to the gills and somehow makes Billy Jack look natural in comparison. This wasn't great or anything, but I expected it to be a bag of shit and it wasn't that either so...happy days? Hercules absolutely slabbered Haynes with a clothesline early and that set up a spell of back work, which Haynes sold pretty well for a minute there. He was hunched over and it gave him so much bother he couldn't even suplex Herc. Herc wasn't amazing on offence or anything, but he did hit one big vertical suplex that he really threw himself into, almost turning it into a brainbuster. The post-match beatdown was a touch nastier than I remembered and Billy Jack blading was something else I'd forgotten. You kind of grade these 7 minute matches between guys who aren't all that good on a curve, and for what it was I thought this was fine.
King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo & Lord Littlebrook v Hillbilly Jim, Haiti Kid & Little Beaver
Imagine being a midget wrestler. Yahoos like Hillbilly Jim picking you up like you're a literal child and condescendingly patting you on the head. You're either a goofy comedy act or a psychopath that bites people in the arse (Hornswoggle). Sometimes both (Hornswoggle). I'd have taken my shit to Mexico. That said, Little Beaver absolutely deserved to be squashed like a grape. If nothing else Bundy should be commended for treating him like an equal! What did he expect? You slap Bundy's keister and keep pushing his buttons you better believe he'll react. Raylan Givens said it best: "Y'all go poking the bear and it's his fault when you get bit."
Harley Race v Junkyard Dog
King Harley and Queen Moolah. I could see Harley being an okay king. Hard but fair. Firm but not inflexible. Maybe not loved by the people, but in time I could see them coming to at least accept him. Moolah, though. Like Cersei Lannister with none of the good parts (...youthful exuberance?) and all of the worst dialed up to eleven. Call me a fool, but I thought this was pretty fun! Again, it only lasted a few minutes, but it was a highlight reel of old man Harley Race bumping. He faceplanted on a missed headbutt off the fucking apron to the floor, took an over the top rope bump where he hit his face on the apron, conked JYD with a falling headbutt that did more damage to himself (as a black man JYD has a four inch cranium, obviously), took his signature flip bump from the apron back in the ring, even gave us the slowest Flair Flip in the corner you've ever seen. He knew he had four minutes and he was going to make it count. I say this probably once a year, but I ought to do a mini-deep dive on Race. I'm pretty confident that his stuff in Japan does nothing for me at all, but his post-world champ run usually delivers the goods.
Rougeau Brothers v Dream Team
I watched this three hours before writing about it and I didn't remember a thing that happened other than the Beefcake turn at the end. I actually forgot it even happened until I went to Wikipedia to check how long the next match lasted. The Rougeaus are a fun babyface unit, Valentine is great and Beefcake can be fine so I'll assume it was watchable, but that's honestly all I have. It was short. Things happened. Blanks must be filled. You can do it.
Roddy Piper v Adrian Adonis
I've got a lot of time for Piper dropping Springsteen lines in his pre-match promo. "No retreat, baby, no surrender!" Tell'm, Hot Rod! I loved every second of this madness. The crowd are red hot for the whole thing and I loved Piper flinging Jimmy Hart all around the ring early on. He flung him into then onto then damn near through Adonis, whipped them both with a strap, people were going ballistic. Then Adonis took over and I'm a fan of him playing to the exotico gimmick by raking Piper's back and chest. Piper's punch drunk selling ruled and he managed to throw in his GOAT-level eye poke. Adonis and Hart celebrating prematurely after Goodnight Irene, Beefcake morphing into The Barber right before our very eyes (don't know why he was actually out there, don't really care), Adonis smashing himself in the face with a big fuck off pair of shears, the old carny trick of smacking a guy on the neck to wake him up from a sleeper hold, the post-match head shaving, Adonis audibly shouting "WHAT THE FUCK?!" when he sees his reaction in the mirror, I loved all of it. One of the most fun sub-ten minute spectacles in WWF history.
British Bulldogs & Tito Santana v The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis
This was alright. Bret looked motivated to get his ten minutes on the card and took a couple big bumps, including his sternum-first turnbuckle bump. Dynamite also yanked him about five feet off the canvas by the hair and I always cringe when he does that. Danny Davis entered the match twice, threw two kicks, grinned, tagged back out, and got more heat than anyone all night. Davey Boy finally running rampant on him was sort of terrifying in one of those Steiner Brothers murdering enhancement talent ways. Perfectly solid six-man.
Butch Reed v Koko B. Ware
This is an honest to god dream match of mine, but four minutes on a Wrestlemania midcard isn't the same as twenty minutes in the Sam Houston Coliseum. We got some great punches, TWO awesome Koko Ware dropkicks, a big bump over the top from Reed, and then a double dropkick from Tito and Koko as Reed STEALS one with a handful of tights. Reed was probably past his best in '87, but I still want to believe there's a Reed/Santana match on a Boston or MSG card that's as good as their Houston match. What are we if not dreamers?
Randy Savage v Ricky Steamboat
I'd gone back and forth on this for years. I always wanted more hate, I wanted blood, I wanted Steamboat to throttle Savage. It had always left me underwhelmed until about a decade ago when I watched the entire feud. Context helped it and so did that interview that was an extra on the Wrestlemania 3 DVD or whatever, with Steamboat talking about this being his last chance at the belt, how he'd come back from injury and let his temper get out of control and how it never got him anywhere. It might've been a convenient way to get out of someone bleeding in the blowoff to the big blood feud, but if nothing else it worked and added the layer that made it all click. I'm not sure I'd still call it a top 10 match in WWE history, but it's a great match. The main takeaway I had this time was that they built the hell out of this thing. It wasn't like it started out with no heat. People were into it from the start, as you'd expect. But by the end, even with the phantom heel pinfall and the fact they never COMPLETELY pulled the trigger on that clean win, the place was molten hot. Hebnar was gassed out of his mind towards the end and people were just losing it for every roll up and nearfall. It had lots of cool little throwbacks to the major points of the feud. Some of them I wish they maybe did a bit more with, like Savage working the throat and Steamboat playing up those moments where he'd turn loose, but I thought things like the nearfall off the finish to the Toronto match and Savage going for the bell came off great. Even Savage coming out and moving Elizabeth as far away as possible from Steele touched on the history. I suppose they could've done more with that brief bit of arm work. I'd maybe have liked for them to do away with a bit of the back and forth so Savage could have a longer stretch on top. I'll never love that phantom pinfall. It didn't really matter, though. What they gave us was an exceptional bit of pro-wrestling and one of the more iconic matches the company's ever had.
Jake Roberts v Honky Tonk Man
Pretty by the numbers, but Honky was effective as a heat magnet around this point so at least the crowd were into it. Jake threw some okay punches and took a nice bump into the guardrail, while Honky did the Terry Funk teeter-totter spot in the ropes and shook his hips to rile folk up. I don't know if Jimmy Hart is terrified of snakes or what, but he sure wanted no part of Damian post-match. If it came to a fist fight between him and Alice Cooper, my money would be on the Colonel (for some reason I totally forgot Gorilla would always refer to Jimmy as that. "The Colonel Jimmy Hart." Was that just a Gorilla thing or was it an actual moniker he used in the WWF?).
Killer Bees v Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff
Also by the numbers, but we got a Jim Brunzell dropkick so you take the five minutes of by the numbers. Compromises and whatnot. Volkoff singing the Soviet national anthem pre-match is always great because people will start flinging rubbish at the ring and it never gets anything but crazy heat. I also love how Slick came back out to the ring with his clothes all torn up after the Tito mauling from earlier.
Hulk Hogan v Andre the Giant
I've always liked this. Hogan's had better matches built around bodyslamming a larger opponent, but he has every single person in that stadium on strings and if nothing else it's certainly a spectacle. I thought it was worked smartly as well. Andre is nearly immobile so he's mostly clubs, headbutts and a bearhug. He uses the clubs and the bearhug to work the back, which they establish as a story point early when Hogan fails to slam Andre the first time. The bearhug isn't riveting or anything, but they never lost the crowd and the reaction for Hogan fighting back from the brink is special. The headbutts were my favourite, because when they connect they're sold as being devastating. Then when they miss they're sold as being devastating. The first time he misses he headbutts the turnbuckle and it gives Hogan an opening. Andre cuts him off after a brief flurry, but they establish a way out for Hogan. Avoid the headbutt and maybe you can use it against him. The second time they escalate it as Andre headbutts the post, and that's really Hogan's inroad. I guess they backtrack on that idea when Andre backdrops Hogan on the concrete (well, that was the intention. It didn't come off great), but Andre was groggy from then on out. Everyone goes ballistic for Andre being taken off his feet, then more ballistic for the slam, then EVEN MORE BALLISTIC for the legdrop. It's one of the defining moments of Hulkamania and a cool way to cap off one of the most successful wrestling shows there's ever been.
Can-Am Express v Bob Orton & Don Muraco
Nice fun little opener. With more of a heat segment this could've been what the hipsters call "a ***1/4 affair," but as is we got plenty of neat babyface shine. The Can-Ams mostly work the arm with arm-wringers, a few quick tags and your hiptoss/armdrag takedowns. Orton thinks he's shaken Zenk, but Zenk keeps hold of the arm and drags him back to the mat face-first. The double monkey flip was cool, Orton's bump over the top looked good, and I liked the finish with Martel hitting the crossbody as Zenk crouches behind Muraco for the schoolboy trip. Doesn't top Rockers v Haku/Barbarian for under the radar Wrestlemania tag openers, but I wouldn't be surprised if it ended up being one of the three best matches on the show.
Hercules v Billy Jack Haynes
Herc's HGH gut is wild. It's not quite at that point where it's super distended and blocky, but he is absolutely juiced to the gills and somehow makes Billy Jack look natural in comparison. This wasn't great or anything, but I expected it to be a bag of shit and it wasn't that either so...happy days? Hercules absolutely slabbered Haynes with a clothesline early and that set up a spell of back work, which Haynes sold pretty well for a minute there. He was hunched over and it gave him so much bother he couldn't even suplex Herc. Herc wasn't amazing on offence or anything, but he did hit one big vertical suplex that he really threw himself into, almost turning it into a brainbuster. The post-match beatdown was a touch nastier than I remembered and Billy Jack blading was something else I'd forgotten. You kind of grade these 7 minute matches between guys who aren't all that good on a curve, and for what it was I thought this was fine.
King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo & Lord Littlebrook v Hillbilly Jim, Haiti Kid & Little Beaver
Imagine being a midget wrestler. Yahoos like Hillbilly Jim picking you up like you're a literal child and condescendingly patting you on the head. You're either a goofy comedy act or a psychopath that bites people in the arse (Hornswoggle). Sometimes both (Hornswoggle). I'd have taken my shit to Mexico. That said, Little Beaver absolutely deserved to be squashed like a grape. If nothing else Bundy should be commended for treating him like an equal! What did he expect? You slap Bundy's keister and keep pushing his buttons you better believe he'll react. Raylan Givens said it best: "Y'all go poking the bear and it's his fault when you get bit."
Harley Race v Junkyard Dog
King Harley and Queen Moolah. I could see Harley being an okay king. Hard but fair. Firm but not inflexible. Maybe not loved by the people, but in time I could see them coming to at least accept him. Moolah, though. Like Cersei Lannister with none of the good parts (...youthful exuberance?) and all of the worst dialed up to eleven. Call me a fool, but I thought this was pretty fun! Again, it only lasted a few minutes, but it was a highlight reel of old man Harley Race bumping. He faceplanted on a missed headbutt off the fucking apron to the floor, took an over the top rope bump where he hit his face on the apron, conked JYD with a falling headbutt that did more damage to himself (as a black man JYD has a four inch cranium, obviously), took his signature flip bump from the apron back in the ring, even gave us the slowest Flair Flip in the corner you've ever seen. He knew he had four minutes and he was going to make it count. I say this probably once a year, but I ought to do a mini-deep dive on Race. I'm pretty confident that his stuff in Japan does nothing for me at all, but his post-world champ run usually delivers the goods.
Rougeau Brothers v Dream Team
I watched this three hours before writing about it and I didn't remember a thing that happened other than the Beefcake turn at the end. I actually forgot it even happened until I went to Wikipedia to check how long the next match lasted. The Rougeaus are a fun babyface unit, Valentine is great and Beefcake can be fine so I'll assume it was watchable, but that's honestly all I have. It was short. Things happened. Blanks must be filled. You can do it.
Roddy Piper v Adrian Adonis
I've got a lot of time for Piper dropping Springsteen lines in his pre-match promo. "No retreat, baby, no surrender!" Tell'm, Hot Rod! I loved every second of this madness. The crowd are red hot for the whole thing and I loved Piper flinging Jimmy Hart all around the ring early on. He flung him into then onto then damn near through Adonis, whipped them both with a strap, people were going ballistic. Then Adonis took over and I'm a fan of him playing to the exotico gimmick by raking Piper's back and chest. Piper's punch drunk selling ruled and he managed to throw in his GOAT-level eye poke. Adonis and Hart celebrating prematurely after Goodnight Irene, Beefcake morphing into The Barber right before our very eyes (don't know why he was actually out there, don't really care), Adonis smashing himself in the face with a big fuck off pair of shears, the old carny trick of smacking a guy on the neck to wake him up from a sleeper hold, the post-match head shaving, Adonis audibly shouting "WHAT THE FUCK?!" when he sees his reaction in the mirror, I loved all of it. One of the most fun sub-ten minute spectacles in WWF history.
British Bulldogs & Tito Santana v The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis
This was alright. Bret looked motivated to get his ten minutes on the card and took a couple big bumps, including his sternum-first turnbuckle bump. Dynamite also yanked him about five feet off the canvas by the hair and I always cringe when he does that. Danny Davis entered the match twice, threw two kicks, grinned, tagged back out, and got more heat than anyone all night. Davey Boy finally running rampant on him was sort of terrifying in one of those Steiner Brothers murdering enhancement talent ways. Perfectly solid six-man.
Butch Reed v Koko B. Ware
This is an honest to god dream match of mine, but four minutes on a Wrestlemania midcard isn't the same as twenty minutes in the Sam Houston Coliseum. We got some great punches, TWO awesome Koko Ware dropkicks, a big bump over the top from Reed, and then a double dropkick from Tito and Koko as Reed STEALS one with a handful of tights. Reed was probably past his best in '87, but I still want to believe there's a Reed/Santana match on a Boston or MSG card that's as good as their Houston match. What are we if not dreamers?
Randy Savage v Ricky Steamboat
I'd gone back and forth on this for years. I always wanted more hate, I wanted blood, I wanted Steamboat to throttle Savage. It had always left me underwhelmed until about a decade ago when I watched the entire feud. Context helped it and so did that interview that was an extra on the Wrestlemania 3 DVD or whatever, with Steamboat talking about this being his last chance at the belt, how he'd come back from injury and let his temper get out of control and how it never got him anywhere. It might've been a convenient way to get out of someone bleeding in the blowoff to the big blood feud, but if nothing else it worked and added the layer that made it all click. I'm not sure I'd still call it a top 10 match in WWE history, but it's a great match. The main takeaway I had this time was that they built the hell out of this thing. It wasn't like it started out with no heat. People were into it from the start, as you'd expect. But by the end, even with the phantom heel pinfall and the fact they never COMPLETELY pulled the trigger on that clean win, the place was molten hot. Hebnar was gassed out of his mind towards the end and people were just losing it for every roll up and nearfall. It had lots of cool little throwbacks to the major points of the feud. Some of them I wish they maybe did a bit more with, like Savage working the throat and Steamboat playing up those moments where he'd turn loose, but I thought things like the nearfall off the finish to the Toronto match and Savage going for the bell came off great. Even Savage coming out and moving Elizabeth as far away as possible from Steele touched on the history. I suppose they could've done more with that brief bit of arm work. I'd maybe have liked for them to do away with a bit of the back and forth so Savage could have a longer stretch on top. I'll never love that phantom pinfall. It didn't really matter, though. What they gave us was an exceptional bit of pro-wrestling and one of the more iconic matches the company's ever had.
Jake Roberts v Honky Tonk Man
Pretty by the numbers, but Honky was effective as a heat magnet around this point so at least the crowd were into it. Jake threw some okay punches and took a nice bump into the guardrail, while Honky did the Terry Funk teeter-totter spot in the ropes and shook his hips to rile folk up. I don't know if Jimmy Hart is terrified of snakes or what, but he sure wanted no part of Damian post-match. If it came to a fist fight between him and Alice Cooper, my money would be on the Colonel (for some reason I totally forgot Gorilla would always refer to Jimmy as that. "The Colonel Jimmy Hart." Was that just a Gorilla thing or was it an actual moniker he used in the WWF?).
Killer Bees v Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff
Also by the numbers, but we got a Jim Brunzell dropkick so you take the five minutes of by the numbers. Compromises and whatnot. Volkoff singing the Soviet national anthem pre-match is always great because people will start flinging rubbish at the ring and it never gets anything but crazy heat. I also love how Slick came back out to the ring with his clothes all torn up after the Tito mauling from earlier.
Hulk Hogan v Andre the Giant
I've always liked this. Hogan's had better matches built around bodyslamming a larger opponent, but he has every single person in that stadium on strings and if nothing else it's certainly a spectacle. I thought it was worked smartly as well. Andre is nearly immobile so he's mostly clubs, headbutts and a bearhug. He uses the clubs and the bearhug to work the back, which they establish as a story point early when Hogan fails to slam Andre the first time. The bearhug isn't riveting or anything, but they never lost the crowd and the reaction for Hogan fighting back from the brink is special. The headbutts were my favourite, because when they connect they're sold as being devastating. Then when they miss they're sold as being devastating. The first time he misses he headbutts the turnbuckle and it gives Hogan an opening. Andre cuts him off after a brief flurry, but they establish a way out for Hogan. Avoid the headbutt and maybe you can use it against him. The second time they escalate it as Andre headbutts the post, and that's really Hogan's inroad. I guess they backtrack on that idea when Andre backdrops Hogan on the concrete (well, that was the intention. It didn't come off great), but Andre was groggy from then on out. Everyone goes ballistic for Andre being taken off his feet, then more ballistic for the slam, then EVEN MORE BALLISTIC for the legdrop. It's one of the defining moments of Hulkamania and a cool way to cap off one of the most successful wrestling shows there's ever been.
Monday, 12 March 2018
Who is the King of All of the Potatoes?!
Shinya Hashimoto v Masa Kurisu (New Japan, 8/3/90)
I fucking love Kurisu. Never has there been a grumpier potato-farming bastard in all of the pro-wrestling. What a highly unpleasant little man. This was basically ten minutes of two guys who will crowbar you stupid crowbarring each other stupid, so of course it was tremendous fun. Kurisu was headbutting Hash in the ear and cheekbone, really laying it in with the kicks, all to set him up for some steel chair mauling. He's determined to get Hash out the ring long enough to smash him with that chair, but Hash knows Kurisu's game and keeps scooting back in the ring. Kurisu is obviously vexed by this and starts throwing chairs around and then he just punts Hash in the balls. When he finally gets his chance to unload with the chairs you know he makes the most of it, breaking one over Hash's head and bringing it into the ring with him as a pet. Hash was buck wild with the kicks, just hammering Kurisu under the chin, walloping him in the ear with overhand chops. And the DDTs. Good grief. That first one was absolutely hellish and I thought he'd killed the wee fella. He'd have deserved it too, you know.
I fucking love Kurisu. Never has there been a grumpier potato-farming bastard in all of the pro-wrestling. What a highly unpleasant little man. This was basically ten minutes of two guys who will crowbar you stupid crowbarring each other stupid, so of course it was tremendous fun. Kurisu was headbutting Hash in the ear and cheekbone, really laying it in with the kicks, all to set him up for some steel chair mauling. He's determined to get Hash out the ring long enough to smash him with that chair, but Hash knows Kurisu's game and keeps scooting back in the ring. Kurisu is obviously vexed by this and starts throwing chairs around and then he just punts Hash in the balls. When he finally gets his chance to unload with the chairs you know he makes the most of it, breaking one over Hash's head and bringing it into the ring with him as a pet. Hash was buck wild with the kicks, just hammering Kurisu under the chin, walloping him in the ear with overhand chops. And the DDTs. Good grief. That first one was absolutely hellish and I thought he'd killed the wee fella. He'd have deserved it too, you know.
Saturday, 10 March 2018
One Night in a Motel Room, Eyes Cast Like Steel, Tenryu Drank the Wine That They Left on His Table
Genichiro Tenryu v Terry Gordy (All Japan, 9/2/89) - GOOD
Maybe a little disappointing given who they are, but they never really went for epic. It was a wee bit more understated than that and in some ways it actually felt more like WAR Tenryu than All Japan Tenryu, where they laid it in and it was built around that laying it in more than the bomb-throwing. The powerbomb was the one bomb that was thrown and they certainly made use of it. Just after the intros while they're still in the process of clearing the streamers out the ring, Tenryu, totally unprompted, powerbombs one of Gordy's crew. I don't know who it was, but there didn't seem to be any reason for it. There was a person there to be powerbombed and so he powerbombed him and we one and all marvel at the man that is Tenryu. Gordy naturally took exception and powerbombed Tenryu right back, and Tenryu basically sold this powerbomb for the rest of the match. It was awesome, sometimes subtle, but you never got the sense he recovered from that move at any point forward. He'd try and fire back, maybe hit a lariat or a gamengiri, but then he'd grab the back of his head and sort of stumble, clearly groggy, and that would let Gordy regain the advantage. Gordy was mostly punch-kick on offence, but he threw in some big corner lariats and Tenryu sold them like the clobberings they were. Good match, but it feels like they've got something bigger in them.
Complete & Accurate Tenryu
Maybe a little disappointing given who they are, but they never really went for epic. It was a wee bit more understated than that and in some ways it actually felt more like WAR Tenryu than All Japan Tenryu, where they laid it in and it was built around that laying it in more than the bomb-throwing. The powerbomb was the one bomb that was thrown and they certainly made use of it. Just after the intros while they're still in the process of clearing the streamers out the ring, Tenryu, totally unprompted, powerbombs one of Gordy's crew. I don't know who it was, but there didn't seem to be any reason for it. There was a person there to be powerbombed and so he powerbombed him and we one and all marvel at the man that is Tenryu. Gordy naturally took exception and powerbombed Tenryu right back, and Tenryu basically sold this powerbomb for the rest of the match. It was awesome, sometimes subtle, but you never got the sense he recovered from that move at any point forward. He'd try and fire back, maybe hit a lariat or a gamengiri, but then he'd grab the back of his head and sort of stumble, clearly groggy, and that would let Gordy regain the advantage. Gordy was mostly punch-kick on offence, but he threw in some big corner lariats and Tenryu sold them like the clobberings they were. Good match, but it feels like they've got something bigger in them.
Complete & Accurate Tenryu
Tuesday, 6 March 2018
Some WWF-era Andre
Andre the Giant v Killer Khan (Stretcher Match) (Philly Spectrum, 11/14/81)
I'm pretty sure I saw this years ago, but I don't remember what I thought about it then. It's one of those famous Andre matches that people sometimes bring up, though often for the wrong reasons. I thought it was mostly fine, but it wasn't touching their New Japan match. It felt kind of squashy. Other than a couple minutes where Khan wrapped Andre's leg in the ropes and worked it over, Andre basically demolished him. They might've hit a point of diminishing returns with Andre jumping on Khan as well, even though the last barrage was pretty cool.
Andre the Giant v Randy Savage (MSG, 10/24/88)
I actually preferred this. It wasn't amazing or anything, Andre is super broken down can't really do much bar choke and club, but Savage had great energy and it made for an easy story of him having to stick and move to stay out of Andre's clutches. It might not have been a conscious decision to TELL that story - I don't doubt they just went out to fill eight minutes and keep the crowd happy - but that's how it came across in execution. Andre was fun choking Savage with his singlet strap as Heenan complained to the ref' about whatever, then Savage would come back by belting him in the face with double axe-handles. I always like how late career Andre would show vulnerability without having to bump as much, not out of selfishness or an aversion to showing ass, but because I'd guess it hurt like fuck just being out there. His bump where he'd end up tied in the ropes didn't quite come off this time, but I did like how he sat there with a total "I'm way too old for this" expression. Last minute or so was about as hectic as you could expect out of a match featuring a guy who's nearly immobile. Yeah, this was fun. As a side note, Lord Al, Billy Graham and Trongard were on commentary and I don't know if there's ever been a commentary trio that's blithered as much mince, but I give them credit for trying to communicate a story.
I'm pretty sure I saw this years ago, but I don't remember what I thought about it then. It's one of those famous Andre matches that people sometimes bring up, though often for the wrong reasons. I thought it was mostly fine, but it wasn't touching their New Japan match. It felt kind of squashy. Other than a couple minutes where Khan wrapped Andre's leg in the ropes and worked it over, Andre basically demolished him. They might've hit a point of diminishing returns with Andre jumping on Khan as well, even though the last barrage was pretty cool.
Andre the Giant v Randy Savage (MSG, 10/24/88)
I actually preferred this. It wasn't amazing or anything, Andre is super broken down can't really do much bar choke and club, but Savage had great energy and it made for an easy story of him having to stick and move to stay out of Andre's clutches. It might not have been a conscious decision to TELL that story - I don't doubt they just went out to fill eight minutes and keep the crowd happy - but that's how it came across in execution. Andre was fun choking Savage with his singlet strap as Heenan complained to the ref' about whatever, then Savage would come back by belting him in the face with double axe-handles. I always like how late career Andre would show vulnerability without having to bump as much, not out of selfishness or an aversion to showing ass, but because I'd guess it hurt like fuck just being out there. His bump where he'd end up tied in the ropes didn't quite come off this time, but I did like how he sat there with a total "I'm way too old for this" expression. Last minute or so was about as hectic as you could expect out of a match featuring a guy who's nearly immobile. Yeah, this was fun. As a side note, Lord Al, Billy Graham and Trongard were on commentary and I don't know if there's ever been a commentary trio that's blithered as much mince, but I give them credit for trying to communicate a story.
Sunday, 4 March 2018
WWF at the Boston Garden (12/6/86)
The Network has a bunch of pre-90s WWF shows from MSG and the Spectrum and Boston in full. I wanted to watch the Hogan/Kamala main event from this show anyway, so I just ran through the whole thing. I may check out more shows from around this time because the midcard had some studs and Hogan main events are usually fun.
Mike Sharpe v SD Jones
Fairly putrid. I have a bit of a soft spot for Sharpe the jobber as he's really vocal and looks like he's always trying to make himself look like a fool. Some of his stalling and horse shit was kind of amusing and he clubbed Jones in the ear one time. Otherwise this was about four minutes that felt like eight minutes.
Mike Rotundo & Dan Spivey v Jacques & Raymond Rougeau
I liked some individual parts of this, at least in isolation. The Rougeaus have nice offence and brought some fun arm work, then some fun leg work, then some fun stuff that was neither leg- nor arm-specific. Rotundo was in the ring for the majority, but I never felt like he was actually in any sort of danger because he never sold like he might've been. It was babyface v babyface so the Rougeaus never exactly put a traditional work over on him, but a few times he sort of got up and could've tagged out but didn't and effectively reset the match, like everything before it hadn't happened or meant anything. Spivey threw one or two forearms that connected nicely, then it got testy and the ref' threw it out, getting in everyone's face with the making money gesture. Heavy fines may have been issued had conflict escalated. I can't think of a babyface team I'd be less interested in watching than Rotundo and Spivey, but if babyface Rougeaus match up with decent opponents then I'd be up for watching some of that.
Harley Race v Pedro Morales
It's pretty cool that this match even exists. Former NWA champ in his goofy crown with chin strap against former WWWF champ. Morales is at the tail end of being able to do much here, mostly throwing a few nice body shots, but Race turned it into a bump show and I was totally fine with it. At one point he took a backdrop from a standing position after it was Morales who came shooting off the ropes, which was pretty impressive as Race is not a small individual and Morales wasn't a youngster in 1986. Harley's taken a whipping in some circles over the years for maybe throwing out offence willy-nilly, but he was basically the sole reason this was fine so I don't mind him running through piledrivers and suplexes. How many kings have shared that same entrance music? Has the king gimmick been a staple in WWF for over thirty years now? Must there always be a king in the WWF in the same way there must always be a Stark in Winterfell? This match has raised more questions than it's answered.
Dick Slater v Steve Lombardi
Eesh, Slater is called 'The Rebel' here and kitted out with his confederate flag jacket. Gorilla says you'll struggle to find a braver man than one willing to wave a confederate flag in the Boston Gardens. Slater's balls are so big he's the babyface, naturally. Lombardi is just plain old Lombardi at this point and hasn't donned the torn up shirt and jeans. This was like five minutes, had some okay arm work from Slater (minus the worst Russian leg sweep this side of Shelton Benjamin) and a pretty butterfly suplex. I'll be honest, I had no memory of Slater being in the WWF. I'm guessing he was only there for a cup of coffee and did nothing of note?
Little Tokyo & Lord Littlebrook v Pepe Gomez & The Karate Kid
This got off to an exceptional start as Littlebrook made a point of ripping on Gomez and Kid for being tiny. I couldn't tell you the last time I watched one of these matches so I don't know if all of the spots are staples or just some of them (I mean, some of them DEFINITELY are), but it was pretty amusing and got a chuckle out of me. Nobody wants any part of Karate Kid's martial arts, not even Little Tokyo who is a master of the martial arts in his own right being Asian and whatnot. Gomez is wearing plastic bandoleers and looks like Hector Guerrero from my avatar on PWO. My favourite part was when the ref' admonished Tokyo for something or other, so Tokyo climbed the middle turnbuckle, kicked the ref' in the gut and took him over with a sunset flip as Karate Kid counted him out. A real show of midget solidarity, there. I can only conclude that the ref' purposely made them all look stupid at the end by botching the finish in embarrassing fashion. Can you say 'political hit?'
Adrian Adonis v Junkyard Dog
Good grief Adonis is humongous. He does not look adorable in the slightest but man did he go all in on that gimmick. This wasn't good, but it was short, had a few okay headbutts, some lukewarm stalling early on, and a pretty awesome turnbuckle bump from Adonis where he went upside down Flair-style then wound up on the apron tangled up in the ropes Andre-style. If nothing else it's impressive that he managed to combine those two signature spots as relatively smoothly as he did given his portliness.
Jimmy Jack Funk v Blackjack Mulligan
Mulligan's cowboy boots and Yosemite Sam shirt combo really is something. I couldn't even tell you the last time I watched any Blackjacks but Mulligan is huge and super imposing, like way more so than I remembered. Jimmy Jack is wearing a Zorro mask and probably the worst Funk there's been. This was also not good, just sloppy and clunky and uncoordinated. But it was only about five minutes so at least they were merciful.
The Islanders v The Dream Team
Beefcake's involvement in this was basically limited to stooging, mugging and hitting a few stomps. Bulk of the heel end was held up by Valentine, and you may not be shocked to hear that the match probably wasn't hurt because of it. First stretch is total Valentine in peril. Usually you want Greg to be fish hooking people and elbowing them in the temple, but I dug him getting schooled by Haku and Tama. Tama is, once again, the funnest motherfucker in wrestling. His energy is utterly infectious. Then he eats a Valentine back elbow and SOARS over the top rope with an awesome bump to the floor, and good golly is Tama just about the greatest under-the-radar bumper ever. Brutus runs a few distraction spots and mostly sticks to the background so Valentine can deliver the ass beating, which includes a fucking Ganso Bomb-style piledriver! If there's a Tama/Valentine singles match I need to seek it out, because no way it wouldn't rule. This was fifteen minutes that flew by.
Mike Sharpe v SD Jones
Fairly putrid. I have a bit of a soft spot for Sharpe the jobber as he's really vocal and looks like he's always trying to make himself look like a fool. Some of his stalling and horse shit was kind of amusing and he clubbed Jones in the ear one time. Otherwise this was about four minutes that felt like eight minutes.
Mike Rotundo & Dan Spivey v Jacques & Raymond Rougeau
I liked some individual parts of this, at least in isolation. The Rougeaus have nice offence and brought some fun arm work, then some fun leg work, then some fun stuff that was neither leg- nor arm-specific. Rotundo was in the ring for the majority, but I never felt like he was actually in any sort of danger because he never sold like he might've been. It was babyface v babyface so the Rougeaus never exactly put a traditional work over on him, but a few times he sort of got up and could've tagged out but didn't and effectively reset the match, like everything before it hadn't happened or meant anything. Spivey threw one or two forearms that connected nicely, then it got testy and the ref' threw it out, getting in everyone's face with the making money gesture. Heavy fines may have been issued had conflict escalated. I can't think of a babyface team I'd be less interested in watching than Rotundo and Spivey, but if babyface Rougeaus match up with decent opponents then I'd be up for watching some of that.
Harley Race v Pedro Morales
It's pretty cool that this match even exists. Former NWA champ in his goofy crown with chin strap against former WWWF champ. Morales is at the tail end of being able to do much here, mostly throwing a few nice body shots, but Race turned it into a bump show and I was totally fine with it. At one point he took a backdrop from a standing position after it was Morales who came shooting off the ropes, which was pretty impressive as Race is not a small individual and Morales wasn't a youngster in 1986. Harley's taken a whipping in some circles over the years for maybe throwing out offence willy-nilly, but he was basically the sole reason this was fine so I don't mind him running through piledrivers and suplexes. How many kings have shared that same entrance music? Has the king gimmick been a staple in WWF for over thirty years now? Must there always be a king in the WWF in the same way there must always be a Stark in Winterfell? This match has raised more questions than it's answered.
Dick Slater v Steve Lombardi
Eesh, Slater is called 'The Rebel' here and kitted out with his confederate flag jacket. Gorilla says you'll struggle to find a braver man than one willing to wave a confederate flag in the Boston Gardens. Slater's balls are so big he's the babyface, naturally. Lombardi is just plain old Lombardi at this point and hasn't donned the torn up shirt and jeans. This was like five minutes, had some okay arm work from Slater (minus the worst Russian leg sweep this side of Shelton Benjamin) and a pretty butterfly suplex. I'll be honest, I had no memory of Slater being in the WWF. I'm guessing he was only there for a cup of coffee and did nothing of note?
Little Tokyo & Lord Littlebrook v Pepe Gomez & The Karate Kid
This got off to an exceptional start as Littlebrook made a point of ripping on Gomez and Kid for being tiny. I couldn't tell you the last time I watched one of these matches so I don't know if all of the spots are staples or just some of them (I mean, some of them DEFINITELY are), but it was pretty amusing and got a chuckle out of me. Nobody wants any part of Karate Kid's martial arts, not even Little Tokyo who is a master of the martial arts in his own right being Asian and whatnot. Gomez is wearing plastic bandoleers and looks like Hector Guerrero from my avatar on PWO. My favourite part was when the ref' admonished Tokyo for something or other, so Tokyo climbed the middle turnbuckle, kicked the ref' in the gut and took him over with a sunset flip as Karate Kid counted him out. A real show of midget solidarity, there. I can only conclude that the ref' purposely made them all look stupid at the end by botching the finish in embarrassing fashion. Can you say 'political hit?'
Adrian Adonis v Junkyard Dog
Good grief Adonis is humongous. He does not look adorable in the slightest but man did he go all in on that gimmick. This wasn't good, but it was short, had a few okay headbutts, some lukewarm stalling early on, and a pretty awesome turnbuckle bump from Adonis where he went upside down Flair-style then wound up on the apron tangled up in the ropes Andre-style. If nothing else it's impressive that he managed to combine those two signature spots as relatively smoothly as he did given his portliness.
Jimmy Jack Funk v Blackjack Mulligan
Mulligan's cowboy boots and Yosemite Sam shirt combo really is something. I couldn't even tell you the last time I watched any Blackjacks but Mulligan is huge and super imposing, like way more so than I remembered. Jimmy Jack is wearing a Zorro mask and probably the worst Funk there's been. This was also not good, just sloppy and clunky and uncoordinated. But it was only about five minutes so at least they were merciful.
The Islanders v The Dream Team
Beefcake's involvement in this was basically limited to stooging, mugging and hitting a few stomps. Bulk of the heel end was held up by Valentine, and you may not be shocked to hear that the match probably wasn't hurt because of it. First stretch is total Valentine in peril. Usually you want Greg to be fish hooking people and elbowing them in the temple, but I dug him getting schooled by Haku and Tama. Tama is, once again, the funnest motherfucker in wrestling. His energy is utterly infectious. Then he eats a Valentine back elbow and SOARS over the top rope with an awesome bump to the floor, and good golly is Tama just about the greatest under-the-radar bumper ever. Brutus runs a few distraction spots and mostly sticks to the background so Valentine can deliver the ass beating, which includes a fucking Ganso Bomb-style piledriver! If there's a Tama/Valentine singles match I need to seek it out, because no way it wouldn't rule. This was fifteen minutes that flew by.
Dino Bravo v Corporal Kirchner
I guess this was fine for a piss break before the Hogan Show. Dino hit a few decent suplexes and a crazy piledriver that was somewhere between that and sit-out powerbomb, then Kirchner came back and hit a few things, then Johnny V ran distraction and it ended. This ref' is the same one from the midgets match and boy he isn't having a good night. He has a touch of the inverse Hebners where he counts super slowly all through the match then speeds it up x12 at the finish. Gorilla slaughters him for it as was Gorilla's wont, but it's hard to disagree with him on this occasion. The young man is quite frankly a disgrace to his profession.
Hulk Hogan v Kamala
The Ugandan Headhunter is a way cooler moniker than the Ugandan Giant. This was a super fun eight minutes of Hogan formula. They establish early that Kamala is a big fuckin unit as Hogan barrels into him and looks out wide-eyed to the crowd when Kamala doesn't budge. Hogan tries to slam him, almost gets him up, but the back gives out and Kamala takes over. It's Hogan v Superheavyweight 101. Kamala working on top is fine enough initially, but then he stabs Hogan with the Fang of Shang-Chi or some nonsense and it gets pretty awesome. I always assumed WWF had banned blood by this point, but Hogan gigs himself and gets some big time colour. I loved Kamala biting and gouging at the cut, and in a gruesome spot he licks Hogan's blood off his fingers, apparently enjoying it as he's a cannibal and a fan of such delicacies. Hogan's bloody convulsing is kind of goofy, but it's one of those Hoganisms that I find at least amusing. We get the comeback, the slam, the boot and the legdrop, the posing, the Hulkamaniacs seeing what they came to see -- it's the ultimate WWF experience! I'd like to check out the rest of the Hogan/Kamala matches because I bet they'd all be fun.
Saturday, 3 March 2018
Random WWF Midcard Madness
Rick Martel v The Magnificent Muraco (WWF, 6/8/81)
Perfectly solid midcard bout. When Muraco can't be arsed he's hard to watch, but this was apparently his first appearance in MSG so maybe he was up for it. Martel is Martel and thus awesome and usually enough to drag something to watchable on his own. The rough collar and elbow tie-ups early suggest these two might've had a nice heated feud in them somewhere. Martel's headlock work was pretty decent, really grinding it in and kicking his legs wildly when Muraco tried to suplex his way out of it. Muraco has a taped thumb gimmick which I always thought was reserved for wrestlers who'd just come back from extended excursions to the orient. It's been so long since I've seen a Muraco match that I couldn't even tell you when he started doing that. Was he doing it from the start? He works Martel's throat after taking over, jabbing him with the lethal thumb and slingshotting him up into the bottom rope. Martel's bump at the end certainly looked like it could plausibly keep a man out of the ring for a count of ten, so I'll take that as a count out finish. Muraco tends to swing wildly from being really good to really atrocious, but if he was motivated I could see this being a super fun twenty minute match. Would've been an interesting comparison with Muraco/Steamboat if nothing else.
Perfectly solid midcard bout. When Muraco can't be arsed he's hard to watch, but this was apparently his first appearance in MSG so maybe he was up for it. Martel is Martel and thus awesome and usually enough to drag something to watchable on his own. The rough collar and elbow tie-ups early suggest these two might've had a nice heated feud in them somewhere. Martel's headlock work was pretty decent, really grinding it in and kicking his legs wildly when Muraco tried to suplex his way out of it. Muraco has a taped thumb gimmick which I always thought was reserved for wrestlers who'd just come back from extended excursions to the orient. It's been so long since I've seen a Muraco match that I couldn't even tell you when he started doing that. Was he doing it from the start? He works Martel's throat after taking over, jabbing him with the lethal thumb and slingshotting him up into the bottom rope. Martel's bump at the end certainly looked like it could plausibly keep a man out of the ring for a count of ten, so I'll take that as a count out finish. Muraco tends to swing wildly from being really good to really atrocious, but if he was motivated I could see this being a super fun twenty minute match. Would've been an interesting comparison with Muraco/Steamboat if nothing else.
Friday, 2 March 2018
Some Ric Flair, because he definitely hasn't been talked about enough
Ric Flair & Dewey Robertson v Roddy Piper & Jimmy Snuka (Maple Leaf Wrestling, 5/4/81)
Man this was fun. It's about as pure babyface as I've ever seen Flair work. I guess he was already Slick Ric by mid-'81, but it wasn't the same babyface Slick Ric as we'd see later. A lot of babyface Flair felt like a guy who was naturally a prick taking time off from being a prick because he had issue with an even bigger prick. Old man babyface Flair was easy to root for because he was two hundred years old and being brutalised by people seventy years his junior. His biggest hope spots were still low blows or biting someone in the face. Sympathy was easy to come by and he was beloved, but there wasn't much difference between babyface Flair and heel Flair. He was wooing and strutting here, but he did it with a real babyface energy, like he figured he had to work for his reactions rather than taking for granted that he'd get them regardless. He was throwing dropkicks, super fast body punches in place of the chops, working much quicker than usual. No measured knee drops, no flopping, instead we got small packages and house o' fire. Even the figure four was applied quicker than I've ever seen him do it before, and he went into it as a reversal off a Piper knee drop so there was no methodical leg work beforehand. He just did everything at babyface speed and it was super refreshing. The stuff with Piper also ruled and Piper was an awesome shit head with the early stalling, the cheapshots, choking Flair with the tag rope, etc. Snuka didn't exude the same charisma, but he was a fine lieutenant and I liked how he was always trying to cut the ring off, keeping Flair in that heel corner and dragging him back whenever he tried to scoot away. I don't know who Dewey Robertson is but he was fine and played his part in the finish, so I guess he did what he needed to do. Flair even celebrated with him afterwards like he meant it, rather than patting him on the back because he's the Nature Boy and the plebs should be privileged to share in his victory glow. I've somehow seen hardly anything from this Flair/Piper feud, but based on this I'm hyped to check out more.
Ric Flair v Great Kabuki (All Japan, 12/12/83)
This was okay for parts and then a bit ropey for others. Standard criticism of Flair and/or Flair Formula is that he/it can sort of stifle guys because they need to change some aspects how they work when they're opposite Ric. They're forced to do press slams or always apply the figure four or whatever. If I'm watching a guy opposite Flair for the first time I'm usually interested in seeing how he'll plug his own stuff into Flair's formula, how much he'll delegate to Flair, etc. The first fifteen minutes of this was really just Kabuki being Kabuki and it didn't feel much like your typical Flair match at all. Kabuki threw a bunch of superkicks and I liked how Flair sold them as if he had no idea how to defend against them. He'd just walk into a superkick and have to scramble to the corner for a reprieve. Kabuki can hit them from anywhere and Flair had no answer for it. Kabuki's nerve hold wasn't the most compelling way to fill time, but I get a kick out of him switching it up a bit from the traps to the stomach to the obliques. Flair was really vocal with his selling too, and if nothing else you could buy him being frustrated at having such a hard time figuring Kabuki out. Then the last ten minutes kind of teetered on being not very good. They tried a bunch of the Flair staples, but only about half of them came off. I didn't mind that the headlock into bridge into backslide spot never worked, because Kabuki isn't necessarily the most athletic guy and sometimes things like that add to the sense of struggle, but then they just got back up and went into the backslide after a few beats anyway. If something didn't work they'd just...do it again. There was no improvisation, it was all sort of "checking the boxes" and then Flair chucked the referee and that was that.
Man this was fun. It's about as pure babyface as I've ever seen Flair work. I guess he was already Slick Ric by mid-'81, but it wasn't the same babyface Slick Ric as we'd see later. A lot of babyface Flair felt like a guy who was naturally a prick taking time off from being a prick because he had issue with an even bigger prick. Old man babyface Flair was easy to root for because he was two hundred years old and being brutalised by people seventy years his junior. His biggest hope spots were still low blows or biting someone in the face. Sympathy was easy to come by and he was beloved, but there wasn't much difference between babyface Flair and heel Flair. He was wooing and strutting here, but he did it with a real babyface energy, like he figured he had to work for his reactions rather than taking for granted that he'd get them regardless. He was throwing dropkicks, super fast body punches in place of the chops, working much quicker than usual. No measured knee drops, no flopping, instead we got small packages and house o' fire. Even the figure four was applied quicker than I've ever seen him do it before, and he went into it as a reversal off a Piper knee drop so there was no methodical leg work beforehand. He just did everything at babyface speed and it was super refreshing. The stuff with Piper also ruled and Piper was an awesome shit head with the early stalling, the cheapshots, choking Flair with the tag rope, etc. Snuka didn't exude the same charisma, but he was a fine lieutenant and I liked how he was always trying to cut the ring off, keeping Flair in that heel corner and dragging him back whenever he tried to scoot away. I don't know who Dewey Robertson is but he was fine and played his part in the finish, so I guess he did what he needed to do. Flair even celebrated with him afterwards like he meant it, rather than patting him on the back because he's the Nature Boy and the plebs should be privileged to share in his victory glow. I've somehow seen hardly anything from this Flair/Piper feud, but based on this I'm hyped to check out more.
Ric Flair v Great Kabuki (All Japan, 12/12/83)
This was okay for parts and then a bit ropey for others. Standard criticism of Flair and/or Flair Formula is that he/it can sort of stifle guys because they need to change some aspects how they work when they're opposite Ric. They're forced to do press slams or always apply the figure four or whatever. If I'm watching a guy opposite Flair for the first time I'm usually interested in seeing how he'll plug his own stuff into Flair's formula, how much he'll delegate to Flair, etc. The first fifteen minutes of this was really just Kabuki being Kabuki and it didn't feel much like your typical Flair match at all. Kabuki threw a bunch of superkicks and I liked how Flair sold them as if he had no idea how to defend against them. He'd just walk into a superkick and have to scramble to the corner for a reprieve. Kabuki can hit them from anywhere and Flair had no answer for it. Kabuki's nerve hold wasn't the most compelling way to fill time, but I get a kick out of him switching it up a bit from the traps to the stomach to the obliques. Flair was really vocal with his selling too, and if nothing else you could buy him being frustrated at having such a hard time figuring Kabuki out. Then the last ten minutes kind of teetered on being not very good. They tried a bunch of the Flair staples, but only about half of them came off. I didn't mind that the headlock into bridge into backslide spot never worked, because Kabuki isn't necessarily the most athletic guy and sometimes things like that add to the sense of struggle, but then they just got back up and went into the backslide after a few beats anyway. If something didn't work they'd just...do it again. There was no improvisation, it was all sort of "checking the boxes" and then Flair chucked the referee and that was that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)