Wednesday, 21 March 2018

The Grass is Not Always Greener on Kurisu's Side

Masanobu Kurisu v Tarzan Goto (FMW, 1/7/90)

What a delicious wee slice of indy sleaze. This had all the potato shots and grimy nastiness you want in an eight minute Kurisu/Tarzan Goto match. I remember reading the old DVDVRs and they'd refer to Goto as Tarzan Scroto and I guess I convinced myself he must be shit because he's a little fat guy working a deathmatch fed. Thankfully common sense has prevailed and general opinion on Goto has since improved. I mean he is a little fat guy working a deathmatch fed, but he's an awesome little fat guy working a deathmatch fed and at this point in my life as a fan I'd much rather watch him than most of the junior heavyweights I was hunting down tapes of back then. His ribs are all taped up in this and approximately thirty seconds into the match Kurisu leathers him repeatedly with a chair. Right across the ribs and midsection, just over and over. He took a quick break from hitting him with a chair so he could punch him in the kidneys and punt him in the side, then went and grabbed another chair and hit him with it a bunch more. Goto was super vocal with the selling and it was pretty great, trying to lift Kurisu for a slam before buckling over in pain, yelling in even greater pain as Kurisu headbutted his spleen and dug his elbow into the ribs. I loved all of the Kurisu offence as it was as simple and primal as you could get, and of course it was almost unnecessarily stiff. Why bother trying to get fancy? The guy has taped up ribs for a reason, just kick him and grind your fist into the general area. At some point they both start staring each other down while trading coconut headbutts. Headbutts to the ear, to the cheekbone, forehead to forehead like two bowling balls colliding. After the match Kurisu is either presented with a giant trophy or maybe steals one from somewhere and cracks it over Onita's head, which leads to Onita cutting one of his weepy promos about betrayal or whatever. I'm assuming it sets up a match and I'm assuming I'll want to watch it.

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