Hansen v Williams; Hansen v Funks!

Stan Hansen v Steve Williams (All Japan, 6/5/90)

There's been a fair bit of talk recently about what a "hoss fight" is and/or should look like. Among wrestling fans, obviously. Hoss fight isn't currently a topic of discussion on BBC Question Time. But in the wake of that last NXT TakeOver where Keith Lee and Dominik Dijakovic had the match they had, the question has been posed: can it really be considered a hoss fight when the two hosses are wrestling like cruiserweights? What constitutes a hoss fight in the first place? Does the mere presence of hoss-like individuals mean that, by definition, a hoss fight is in the offing? All very pertinent queries. I suppose, as my great grandmother used to say, one man's motherfucker is another man's fucker of mothers, so maybe each and every one of us has a different definition of what hoss fight truly entails. And this felt like a hoss fight to me. A couple brick shithouse bruisers being brick shithouses and leaving bruises on each other. Nothing fancy, everything messy, everything nasty. I think 90s Hansen is my favourite Hansen at this point. He isn't as much of a straight ahead whirlwind as he was in his physical prime, but he has that vulnerability in the 90s that comes with age and his body breaking down a bit. He feels more and more beatable, ever so slightly less like a force of nature but a human being you can strategize against. Doc's strategy was to clobber him in the head until he drew blood, then clobber him some more until he couldn't get back up. Of course you know the bit about a wounded animal and when it's most dangerous so there was always the possibility of Hansen decapitating him at the drop of a hat. The brawling wasn't always the most compelling because I'm not sure Williams in general was the most compelling yet, but they certainly never mucked around with anything elaborate. It was all close quarters, almost no ground given, everything that was come by required a struggle. It wasn't as chaotic as a Funk v Hansen or even Funk v Brody, but it had the feel of those Doc v Gordy brawls from Mid-South and there won't be many instances where I complain about that. The finish was also straight out the top drawer of your Western Lariat murder scenes.


Stan Hansen & Dan Spivey v Terry & Dory Funk (All Japan, 11/15/90)

The Funks feel so out of place in All Japan at this point. It's sort of charming and I wish there was more of it. And hey, this was a super fun ten minutes. Terry v Hansen is a GOAT level match-up so of course their exchanges were amazing. Terry gets clubbed about the head, falls out the ring, falls over the barricade, gets walloped with chairs and tries to throw a box full of drinks at Hansen. His flurry of jabs to Spivey late on popped the crowd something fierce and I love that he stopped mid-combo to hiptoss an onrushing Hansen. Even if you'll never get Dory being as expressive as his brother I liked him going right at Hansen with his uppercuts and forearms, and the bit where he grinds the sole of his boot into Hansen's nose was one of the meanest versions of that spot I've seen. He couldn't really do a ton physically, but the people went wild for the spinning toe hold and it was an awesome moment when he locked it in.

Low-Ki v Joe...and no honour in sight

Low-Ki v Samoa Joe (ROH Glory By Honor, 10/5/02)

Pretty spectacular US indie approximation of a Battlarts murderfest. It's billed as a fight without honour, which I guess at the time meant it was a street fight, or a match without any rules, or maybe just a match where they didn't need to shake hands first. Either way they absolutely leathered the tar out each other. Some of the striking was outrageous. Everything was nasty right from the start, but it was more niggly than full on in your face "why would you willingly be hit like that in a fake fight?" type stuff. They work the guard with some sharp elbows and headbutts, then Joe grabs a leg and applies a disgusting half crab where Ki's neck is trapped under Joe's knee. Then they stand up, slap each other really hard across the face and the violence continues to escalate from there. Ki was a cyclone of kicks and forearms and he made it his mission to chop every bit of skin on Joe's upper body. A few times he'd just latch onto Joe and try to secure an armbar or choke and Joe reversing a dragon sleeper into a death valley driver was incredible. I don't know if it was a conscious decision for Joe to sell exhaustion the way he did or he was legitimately being worn down (by the sort of punishment it very definitely would've sucked to be on the receiving end of), but I liked how it came across. Where his size would normally be advantageous, at least in that he could outhit most guys, nobody can outhit Low-Ki and so it almost ends up having the opposite affect. Can't outhit him, can't match his engine...what chance have you got? By the end he looked about on his last legs and you can't blame him for it one bit. I could've done without the ropey no-sell strike exchange towards the finish, but I guess it had a payoff, if you count Low-Ki unloading with about fifteen absurd punts to the face before dropping Joe with an overhand club the the back of the head as a payoff. And I mean, why wouldn't you?

Misawa/Kawada v Jumbo/Taue - The First Meeting!

Mitsuharu Misawa & Toshiaki Kawada v Jumbo Tsuruta & Akira Taue (All Japan, 9/30/90)

To nobody's surprise this was not a bad wrestling match. It had lots of really good stuff and some that was great. It's just that, at this point in my life as a wrestling fan, 45 minutes of a style I don't love like I once did was always going to be a bit of a bumpy ride. But it's these four so, you know. I thought Misawa was excellent in this. He was more assured here than in either of the Jumbo singles matches and best of all he was SURLY. Maybe it was because of Jumbo's general presence, maybe he was still pissed at Taue jumping ship, but either way he was about as grumpy as I can remember seeing him. Even in that very first exchange with Jumbo he looked like a man who was there to claim his rightful spot in the pecking order, and he carried that attitude with him the rest of the way. I'm not sure Kawada was all that great yet but he was certainly starting to look more like the Kawada we became accustomed to, at least in that he'd dropped the spinning wheel kicks and quasi-juniors offence for the short kicks and knees to the face. Taue really took a shit-kicking and I thought the strongest section of the match by a mile was his extended heat segment. Him and Kawada hated each other to death around this point and Kawada kicked him in the head many times, but Misawa was downright Tenryuish in how he'd just stomp his skull into the canvas. Taue getting opened up and it leading to some working of the cut naturally appealed to the vampire in me as well. That the proper heat segment came later, after they teased it early on when Taue started bleeding to begin with, is one of those cool bits of foreshadowing 90s All Japan did so well. I also thought the match hit a wall after Taue finally tagged out, which came at about half an hour in. It's not that it went off a cliff or anything, but it felt like they started to run out of ideas down the stretch. Even if I don't have much interest in going back to those '95 tags that went an hour or even the Kobashi/Kawada broadways, they had their formula down by then and the pacing and transitions were much sharper. Still, this was the first time anybody had gone this long in years so it's hard to be too critical. I suppose overall it held up pretty well. I think I'd need to watch 90s All Japan in small doses nowadays, but this did give me an itch to open that book again.

Tenryu's Dirty, Mean and Mighty Unclean. He's a Wanted Man, Public Enemy Number One.

Genichiro Tenryu, Stan Hansen & Samson Fuyuki v Jumbo Tsuruta, Yoshiaki Yatsu & Great Kabuki (All Japan, 7/3/89) - SKIPPABLE 

Well you can add Hansen v Kabuki to the Whiskey & Wrestling dream match catalogue. I think this is the first time I've ever seen them together and it was easily my personal highlight of the match. When Hansen whipped Kabuki into the ropes I figured the latter was getting his arse handed to him and his offence in return would be close to nonexistent. But then Kabuki blasted him under the chin with a thrust kick and reeled off a flurry of uppercuts, and Hansen selling Kabuki's offence really was a thing of beauty. Hansen never even tried to murder him in response and the fact he immediately tagged out instead went a decent way towards putting over Kabuki as being dangerous. I imagine a seven minute singles match would've been great fun. Nothing else here was all that good, unfortunately. They had some okay ideas and a few of them landed initially, like Kabuki and Jumbo almost coming to blows, or Tenryu about getting concussed, or any number of times where it looked like a heat segment might break out, but it was sort of all over the place structurally and nothing really had time to  resonate. Lots of abrupt momentum shifts, a whole bunch of "okay I'll go on offence now because you've hit enough moves," an inordinate amount of times where one guy would just blow something off and tag out. It was all very strange. Tenryu had an off night as well, though his exchanges with Kabuki will always be fun and these were no different. Hansen constantly raving like a headcase about whatever was amusing. He'd often come running in just to take a swing at someone, maybe because the crowd were dead, maybe because he was bored standing on the apron. Kabuki was the MVP pretty easily, and even though it's not hard to see why he was never held in particularly high regard I would like to reiterate that people were wrong. This was like 22 minutes and not terrible by any stretch, but nothing you need to see.


Genichiro Tenryu, Toshiaki Kawada & Samson Fuyuki v Giant Baba, Rusher Kimura & Masa Fuchi (All Japan, 9/15/89) - EPIC

Now we're talking. If the last match was Tenryu on an off night, this was him reminding us that he might've been the best wrestler in the world. He was unbelievable here and all three of his match-ups ruled, as did pretty much every single exchange he had. In some ways his performance drove the direction of the match. In the beginning he was in grump mode, but he wasn't chopping anybody in the throat or doing anything untoward. For about ten minutes that was reflected in the overall tone. Everything ticked along nicely, nothing was blow away amazing but it was perfectly good wrestling. Then the longer it went the more Tenryu's temper flared, and that rubbed off on his partners, and that really opened things up. It established a clear face/heel divide, where in the second half Tenryu and Footloose were the heels and everybody decided Fuyuki was a real bastard and booed his every action. Tenryu was throwing shots at everyone, whomping Fuchi with chairs, threatening to launch a table at Baba, stomping on Fuchi's face, chopping Kimura even further into decrepitude, punting Fuchi in the spleen and kidneys and really Fuchi must've done something to him at some point because he got the living shit beat out of him. Fuchi as face in peril being abused by an irate 40 year old isn't a role you associate with him, in fact you associate Fuchi with being the irate 40 year old abusing everybody else, but man was he exceptional in this. Within the first few minutes he was dribbling blood from his mouth and his extended heat segment midway in was what really propelled this into that upper tier. Kimura can't really do much other than throw headbutts and get chopped exceptionally hard in the chest, but of course he did all that to the best of his abilities. Baba ruled, though. He's the oldest and probably most broken down of the lot but he never wrestled like it. Sure his overhand chops aren't the nastiest overhand chops you'll ever see, and sure his offence can look a bit clunky, but fuck it, the people lived and died with him and everything he did in this was money. The stuff with Tenryu was wonderful. I'm a broken record going on about how Tenryu is a master at showing vulnerability in believable ways, but almost nobody could make Baba's strikes at this point in his career look as believable. That the old man was refusing to accept Tenryu as the new king only pissed Tenryu off more, so he'd routinely cheapshot him while Baba stood on the apron minding his own business. There was an amazing moment where Tenryu tried to almost fake Baba out with a chop, but Baba didn't buy it and stood there completely indifferent to it all. It was like that GIF where Matt Barnes fakes throwing the ball at Kobe's face and Kobe doesn't even blink. Solid opening third, great middle third, shit hot closing third. Awesome match.


Complete & Accurate Tenryu

Anjoh's a Different Kind of Daredevil Than a Lot of Folks I Know, but He Still Walks the Tightrope with no Net Down Below

Yoji Anjoh v Kiyoshi Tamura (UWF, 9/30/89) - GOOD

This might be my favourite ever non-RINGS shoot style match-up, and even then it's pretty close to any of those. Young Tamura is a phenom and even if he was never winning against Anjoh at this point you know he'd try his best to make it a contest. Anjoh was far more assured in the stand up, but there was one awesome part where Tamura's temper got the better of him - as it often would in his early career - and he tried to stomp Anjoh's head into the mat. Anjoh responded as we all knew he would and those headbutts to the cheek bone were nasty as fuck. You could already see the signs of Tamura becoming a world-class defensive grappler. He never really managed to turn those escapes into any sort of advantage here, but but he was wicked slippery and a nightmare to pin down for very long. Though I guess Anjoh never needed very long in the end and it would still be a couple years before Tamura would take him to the wire.


Complete & Accurate Anjoh

NWA Classics 24/7 #28

Chavo & Hector Guerreros v The Fantastics (Houston Wrestling, 8/3/84)

The structure of this was a bit ropey. Rather than your traditional southern tag formula, where in a perfect world Tommy Rogers takes a beating a few minutes as very few wrestlers take a beating like Tommy Rogers, and very few teams are as good as the Guerreros at dishing one out, we got three mini heat segments on Bobby Fulton, who felt a bit off during this. He wasn't bad or anything, but there were a few miscues and it made some of the double team spots feel a little contrived, or at least less organic than they usually do. Of course the people still lost it for the double row boat, and the headlock noggin knocker, and basically everything else for that matter because it's these four and they are very good at what they do. You've just seen those things done a little smoother, or a little quicker, with a little less setup. Chavo and Hector putting cool spins on otherwise standard spots will always rule so obviously I loved the finish, which gave us a picture perfect Tommy Rogers dropkick as a bonus. Not their best match together, but of course it was good, and really, I'll take every new bit of footage involving these guys I can get. It'd be foolish to complain.

I Got My New Boots Covered in Red Dirt, My "Don't Mess with Mid-South" T-Shirt

Ric Flair v Wahoo McDaniel (7/12/85)

Alright, so, I think the actual date for this is 7/26. I watched it last year after two Flair/Wahoo matches dropped via the Houston footage, and at the time I thought this was the one that didn't make the Mid-South set (as the footage wasn't available), but no, it's the one that did make it. So there's another Flair/Wahoo that's new and the date on that is actually 7/12. I think. It doesn't really matter anyway because it's not like anybody's using this stupid blog as a historical resource, so I'll just stick with the 7/12 date since that's what it's listed as on the set. Either way I'll copy and paste what I said about it last year. This was pretty great when they were lacing into each other. The arena isn't mic'd up too well so you don't always get to hear the thwack on strikes, but some of these Wahoo chops are audible regardless. Flair has great chops, he always has, but he can't swing that knife edge like Wahoo and he's never had anything close to the overhand, so for once he's basically outmatched. And that was kind of the story. Flair will try and go toe to toe, but not only does it never end well for him, it never even approaches level footing. He'll throw one chop, maybe two at a push, and Wahoo will shred him. Flair simply can't hang. So I guess he decides he'll use the ropes at every opportunity and just cheat his way to victory. Maybe it was deliberate on the wrestlers' part, maybe it was a story they were actively telling, maybe I'm just projecting, but Flair's best friend in this match was the ring rope and if not for that he'd have been fucked. He wasn't only using it to cheat either. There were a few points where Wahoo dropped him with a chop or a tomahawk and Flair only escaped by draping a foot over the rope. Late on he tried to take it to the floor, but that backfired as well and it was him who wound up with a bloody forehead. Still, the ropes weren't going anywhere and they were always there to bail him out. Flair winning via dodgy pinfall with his feet on the ropes wasn't exactly a rarity, but I don't remember it ever being built to quite like that. Maybe that "build" was coincidental. It probably was, honestly. Either way it worked and overall this was good stuff.


Ted DiBiase & Dr. Death v Jake Roberts & The Barbarian (7/14/85)

I think Jake and Barbarian are still technically heels at this point, but people are so nuts for the DDT that in a heel v heel match you can bet the team with Roberts ends up as de facto babyface. They still walked that line though, being more than happy to play the same games had that been a Rock n Roll Express or Fantastics across the ring. All of the early stuff ruled. There are a hundred million ways to incorporate a DDT tease into simple spots and this crowd bit on even a sniff of one. Jake and DiBiase are tentative to start because I guess they both know what depth the other is willing to stoop to, so they fake each other out with a few punches, Ted goes for a kick to the gut, Jake catches it and spins him around, and the place just erupts when he tries to grab him for that DDT. A bit later Jake is in there with Williams, sees an opening for the DDT, and everybody loses it the second he makes an attempt. It was absurdly over. Jake was also really fun working the apron, shit talking Williams and DiBiase, ruffling Williams' hair when he got close, always skulking about like a menace on the peripheries. Loved the big transition into the heel workover. Up to that point Jake and Barbarian had been far superior as a unit bending the rules to their advantage. Then Jake holds Williams so Barbarian can take a swing, but maybe this time they've bit off more than they can chew as the ref ejects Barbarian and Jake turns around into DiBiase's loaded glove. Jake is such an awesome face in peril here. We get plenty of nasty offence targeting the cut, like Williams grating the sole of his foot over it, some forehead biting and DiBiase hitting his killer fist drop, but Jake's sell of the blood loss is really tremendous. At one point he sort of staggered onto the apron, then got tangled up in the ropes as Williams and DiBiase clobbered away on his bloody forehead. Odds were never going to be good on a clean finish, but the brawl after the ref gets bumped went on longer than I remembered and felt really chaotic. You had Jake battering guys with a cowboy boot, Williams battering guys with a loaded cast, and of course the pop for the DDT was crazy. I think this is the last time we see heel Jake on the set and it was a heck of a swansong.


Mid-South Project

Flair v Magnum

Ric Flair v Magnum TA (World Pro Wrestling, 2/23/86)

I haven't watched a Flair/Magnum singles match in forever. I couldn't even tell you at this point which ones I've seen. I know one of them made the AWA set but by the time I got to it the voting deadline had passed so I skipped over it. Maybe I should go back and give it a shot because this was pretty damn great. It was mostly your standard fare early, but Magnum looked really imposing in control. Flair tries a bunch of different things and all roads lead back to him being gorilla pressed or otherwise chucked about like a large child. The way he took over by using Magnum's own momentum to throw him out the ring was a nice bit of champion's smarts, and it led to a longer run of Flair in control than I'd have expected. His rabbit punches to open up the cut looked real nasty and he was super animated the whole time, jawing with folk in the crowd and looking about ready to punch Tommy Young in the mouth once or twice. Magnum's comeback ruled. He has this awesome quality during his comebacks where people truly buy his opponent being in deep shit. When he grabbed that chair leg from Tully you feared for Blanchard's life and when he roared like a big old lion here you knew Flair was in trouble. His slow turn to face up the champ, the way Flair backed into the corner, the look of horror as he knew he'd pissed off the wrong jeans- and leather-wearing biker, it was so great. Flair's going to do that against pretty much everybody anyway but this felt extra special. I dug Flair just trying to get himself disqualified by hurling Tommy Young by the shirt as soon as Magnum applied the figure four. Magnum pleads with him not to call for the bell, Tommy eventually acquiesces, and Flair realises that he's somehow only gone and made a bad situation even worse. Great spot where he's trying to crawl away after Magnum had pummeled him with a series of punches. Magnum stalks him down the whole time and Flair uses the turnbuckles to pull himself upright, then as Magnum grabs him by the trunks to drag him back into the middle Flair goes low with his heel. Ref bump at the end looked a bit crummy initially, but fair play to Tommy Young for producing a better sell job of the leg than most wrestlers. This also has one of my favourite dodgy Flair finishes and all in all I liked it a ton, despite it being something I wasn't massively excited for going in.

Some Mid-Atlantic TV

Jake Roberts & Ricky Steamboat v The Grappler & Super Destroyer (Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling, 11/18/81)

I thought this was an awesome little match. You know how these studio tags tend to go. Usually they'll be way more frantic than they'd be in an arena, less about milking the big spots and payoffs, more about working sharp and heated in the closer environment. Sometimes that'll mean the structure takes a hit because they'll only have four or five minutes to work with, but this had double that, none of the individual segments felt rushed, they built heat with a short and effective babyface workover, everything they did looked snug, etc. It was just really good stuff all the way through. Jake and Steamboat are such a fun unit and I'm not sure I've seen them pair up before. They were clearly the two young studs of the territory at this point and they worked like it. The early exchanges were great, the way everybody worked in and out of quick headlocks, lots of quick leg trips, how each team tried to make the quick tag and maintain the advantage before the other team could make their own tag. Jake's headlock on the Grappler was one of the best I've seen in ages and what made it better was how Grappler put up a struggle to get out of it. He managed to almost shift around onto his stomach and reverse it, so Jake bridged up to his feet in one motion and used his height to leverage Grappler back to the mat. It was an awesome spot, one I think I've seen Jake do before, but this felt properly organic and came off smooth as butter. He eventually takes a turn in peril and Grappler and Super D throw a bunch of tight forearms and elbows, nasty ones to the midsection, a couple right on top of the head, really cutting the ring off and working in tandem to keep him isolated. This also might be the first time Jake busted out the DDT on TV as even Caudle was taken aback by it (he referred to it as a "front bulldog of sorts"). Non-finish isn't surprising, but it leads to a nice heated brawl afterwards with Steamboat and Piper. Hard to ask for much more.


Tully Blanchard v Manny Fernandez (Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling, 2/9/85)

Bring back the TV title already. Seriously, it's such an easy way to build or put heat on wrestlers without actually requiring someone to outright lose. WWE have what, ten hours of content on television every week? More than that? In this workrate world that's surely enough time to throw out a fifteen minute time limit draw. Tully is really a master - maybe THE master - of working this sort of match. He can spend the first half on the back foot in a thousand different and satisfying ways, can take over through shenanigans, kill some more time working over the babyface, then when his back is up against the wall he can run down the clock to save his belt. The first six or seven minutes of this had Manny on top with Tully trying and failing to gain a foothold. We got some nice leg work, and there was this cool little moment where Manny took a bit too long to hook in a submission, so Tully just reversed it into one of his own and made Manny fight to regain control. Usually in those situations the person in Tully's shoes would lay there waiting for Manny to finish rallying the crowd, even if plausibly they could've done something to escape in that time. I love Fit Finlay because he'd never let your rest on your laurels like that and Tully has a lot of the same qualities. He won't let you forget that it's supposed to be a contest. I don't know if anybody right now is as good as Tully, but the framework for something like this isn't that difficult to replicate. In the end your heel escapes by the skin of his teeth while still looking smart and competent, while your babyface takes it right to the wire and might've pulled it off with an extra minute or two. Or in this case, had Tully not decided to just chuck him over the top rope.

The Alamo Busters (or the Original Guerreros)!

Chavo & Hector Guerrero v Shawn Michaels & Mike Jackson (11/8/84)

How about that for an all-star babyface team? Michaels was 19 here and looked 14. Mike Jackson was probably in his thirties and looked 44, like he always did. Was this the Midnight Rockers version of Eaton and Koko Ware's Midnight Express that never was? In an alternate universe did Michaels fling Mike Jackson through a barber shop window? This was the Guerreros' debut in Mid-South, though they'd been killing it in Houston for a while. You can figure out how this went; the Guerreros got four minutes to do their thing, the babyfaces landed a few hits, but ultimately the result was never in question. Jackson's rolling single leg crab looked slick as you like, at least. He strung together a few dropkicks, then in one of those cool little bits of attention to detail you get in Guerreros matches, his last attempt was thwarted when Chavo shoved Hector out the way. Hector's twisting splash always looks a million bucks and it's been a minute since I've seen that double team finisher. 


Chavo & Hector Guerrero v Brickhouse Brown & Master G (Mid-South, 11/22/84)

I obviously love the Guerreros. They're a huge personal favourite of mine and whether it's a three minute studio match or a twenty minute arena match, a tag match or they're working singles, I'll be interested in watching it. I love the Guerreros. But beyond that they feel pretty clearly and legitimately like one of the best tag teams of the 80s. They're creative as heck and it's fairly evident that they try to add fresh new wrinkles into everything they do. This time Chavo hit a headscissor takedown on Master G and that started off a sequence of G hitting several headscissor takedowns on both Guerreros. They underestimated his big tall fella agility! That then led to G holding onto the top rope as he had another headscissors on a standing Chavo, and as Hector came around on the apron G swung Chavo through the ropes and into his brother's kneecaps to knock him off the apron. Finish was cool as well, with Brickhouse grabbing Hector in an airplane spin and Chavo whacking him in the gut with a bandoleer. Just a super fun little four minute TV match, which is the Guerreros' bread and butter. Watts remarking that they don't look the way Americans would typically think Mexicans look because they're not itinerant farmers or labourers, and in fact own condominiums in Texas and drive a Porsche, was...well it was something, I guess. 1984 was wild as fuck.


Chavo & Hector Guerrero v Rock n Roll Express v The Fantastics v Midnight Express (Mid-South, 2/10/85)

What a frustrating thing this is. Not because of anything the wrestlers did -- that was about as good as you'd expect from everyone involved. I mean look at those names, you know what you're getting. We just have a deeply unfortunate big stupid bastard commercial break that cuts out not only what appeared to be a Tommy Rogers in peril segment, but a lengthy Ricky Morton in peril segment as well. And lots of Guerreros shenanigans as Joel Watts explains on commentary how Chavo and Hector bludgeoned Morton with their bandoleers! I'll assume this would've been top 20 on the Mid-South set if we had it in full. Maybe the uncut version is sitting pretty in a WWE vault somewhere. Anyhow the Guerreros are so good. Hector gets popped by a Morton right hand and takes an amazing face-first bump to the canvas, then gets up and popped again and takes an amazing bump onto his back. Chavo's horse shit on the apron ruled and at one point he dropkicked Bobby Fulton in the arse through the ropes. And then their offence is impeccable as Chavo fucking murders Rogers with the greatest delayed northern lights suplex we've ever seen. It goes to commercial right as Hector hits a butterfly suplex and you just know for a fact the Rogers beatdown would've been immense. Somehow this is Joel Watts' fault. Leading up to that we got lots of fun interactions between all four teams, everybody playing some chess, some guys trying to strategically effectuate certain match-ups. The RnRs and Fantastics are on good terms and bask equally in any humiliation of the other two teams. When Rogers and Morton end up in there together - which Cornette just gleams at - they have a nice respectful exchange. They trade a couple headlocks, a few snap armdrags, it was almost a precursor to your indie standoff of the future. Then they fist bump in acknowledgement and go punch a Guerrero or Midnight Express member, which of course counts as a legal tag. The Midnights/RnRs section at the end probably wasn't on the level of their absolute best stuff together, but it's these guys, it's a bloody foreheaded Ricky Morton getting pummeled, it's Dennis Condrey dropping knees on his throat, it's Cornette battering someone with a shoe. Come on, this was never going to be anything short of good. You just know there was an incredible part that we missed out on.

Flair/Arn v Dusty/Garvin (and the crowd goes wild)

Ric Flair & Arn Anderson v Dusty Rhodes & Ron Garvin (Worldwide, 2/22/86)

These Worldwide crowds are insane. It's consistent, ballistic heat; obviously more so when your Dustys and Flairs are in there, but it's not just a star power thing. Every episode from around this period has some of the best crowds ever in wrestling. It's very awesome. This was also a wonderful little five minutes. It's a hyper-condensed southern style tag and they make the absolute most of every second. Flair gets beaten from pillar to post in the first minute and I loved his spin on the Flop, the way he reached out to make the tag only to fall on his face. Then Garvin yanked him back up by the trunks, Flair's bare backside exposed to everyone, and swiftly chopped him back down to the mat. Dusty was outrageous in this. A complete whirlwind of charisma and his crowd connection was something otherworldly. He drops both Flair and Arn with an amazing double punch combo in their corner (after they try to hem him in there), runs over and leans out to give Baby Doll a kiss, then gives Garvin a kiss, then catches an onrushing Flair with an unbelievable flurry of jabs and elbows, then Flair turns around and sort of collapses in Tommy Young's arms. It's genuinely one of the greatest ten seconds I've ever seen in a match. I watched it six times in a row and I'll watch it six more times after I write this. Arn's look of sheer contempt when he finally gets in the ring is spectacular -- a man who is sick to the back teeth of this plumber's son. Add a great finish with maybe the biggest pop in recorded history and this is one of the best five minute matches there's ever been.

Tully and Arn! In Singles!

Arn Anderson v Sam Houston (World Championship Wrestling, 2/15/86)

Is it time we start a dialogue on Sam Houston? He'd been pushed as Dusty and Magnum's protege for about half a year by this point, they clearly had plans for him as he'd recently won the Mid-Atlantic title on TV...and then about a year later he was up in the WWF. And apparently he spent four years there but I would not have guessed that. He sort of faded into obscurity, basically. Which may have been a crying shame because he was starting to put it together nicely, really coming along as a fiery underdog babyface, and by golly he looked like the bee's knees here. Did somebody miss the boat big time on Sam Houston? This started out with Arn fully on his own bullshit, first mowing Houston down with a big shoulder tackle - which Houston awesomely flip bumped off of - then opening the ropes for him in case our young cowboy wanted to cut bait before being humiliated. Arn is obviously all googly-eyed when Houston cartwheels out the way of a punch and connects with his own, and I love how Houston held the ropes open in case Arn decided HE wanted to cut bait. The angle late in '85 where the Andersons and Tully break Houston's arm is tremendous, so I loved Arn taking control by just smashing the wrist off one of the turnbuckles (bonus points for some booking continuity and all that). Arn's arm work was obviously good stuff, but I was super impressed by how Houston made it compelling on his end. It was some really good babyface work, how vocal he was in selling the pain, how he'd keep trying to fight out of holds or create openings, how he was never content to just take a beating and only show some fire when it was his turn for a hope spot. He'd even sell the arm after or during moves where the arm itself wasn't actually the focus, like when he ducked low for a backdrop and Arn elbowed him in the neck. He went over selling the blow first, but then he'd quickly clutch the bad arm and draw it in close to his body. His missed crossbody bump at the end was fucking wild too. This was Dustin Rhodes before Dustin even laced up a boot and possibly even more reckless. I thought this was a legitimately great 10 minute studio bout. Who's doing the deep dive on Sam Houston?


Tully Blanchard v Mike Jackson (World Championship Wrestling, 2/22/86)

We are truly blessed that, nearly 35 years down the line, we can go back and watch Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson wrestle on TV just about every week. Crockett was next level in '86. This was only about eight minutes but it was a ridiculously fun Tully performance, which was pretty much his average around this point. You knew 2002 Tim Duncan was giving you 25 and 12 on a nightly basis. It was an inevitability and at a certain point became an accepted part of our lived existence. Death, taxes and Timmy Duncan. That's basically Tully in 1986 (with none of the geniality or respectable disposition). Mike Jackson is always rock solid - the late-career Timmy Duncan of enhancement talent? - and if you stick him in there was a proper foil you're usually getting something decent. He wasn't in the mood for Tully's horse shit and I guess Tully noticed this and decided to be an even bigger dickhead than usual. After Jackson won the first couple exchanges Tully tripped him off a clean break, just a total high school P.E. bully move by a guy who can't stand things not going his way. Then Tully backs him into the corner and slaps him across the face. Jackson is pissed and rips the straps down like Lawler in the Coliseum, so Tully bolts outside and has a good laugh to himself. We always talk about Arn being a guy who can flip that switch and go from bumbling stooge to stone cold killer, but Tully is equally great at going from shit-eating weasel to relentless hunter. He's not as methodical as Arn, where he'll pick a body part and go to work. It feels more vicious though, in part because it looks like he's enjoying himself in a way Arn rarely seems to. Arn ripping your shoulder apart is a means to an end but Tully will splat you on the concrete because it's amusing to him. The way he lost the plot after Jackson kicked him in the mouth was sensational. The sneer, the way he checked his lip for blood, how you knew right there the fun was over. It was like a cat toying with a mouse, then the mouse bit back and had to be put out its misery.

Tully v Dusty! On the Superstation!

Tully Blanchard v Dusty Rhodes (JCP Superstars on the Superstation, 2/7/86)

Tully was so good in this. I've always sort of taken for granted that he was a step below your guys like Arn, Eaton and Morton, but these days I'd pretty comfortably stick him in that same bracket. He was a phenomenal pro-wrestler. This started out with Dusty working the leg, which is how many a Dusty v Horsemen match would start around this time. Flair and his cousins broke Dusty's ankle so it made for an instant revenge hook any time they matched up for months afterwards. His leg work is fine enough, nothing particularly special or compelling but he's Dusty and the crowd are always with him. It's the way Tully reacts to and sells all of it that makes it stand out. Dusty will throw on a spinning toe hold so Tully will roll onto his belly to prevent that spinning toe hold from turning into a figure four. Dusty will try and drag him to the floor so Tully will push his free leg against the bottom rope to stop him, or at the very least make it difficult for him. It wasn't anything mind-blowing in isolation, but it creates that sense of struggle. He takes over when Dusty hits an elbow off the top and tweaks his own bad ankle, and there was a great bit right away where Tully would drive his knee into the ankle, selling that knee at the same time as Dusty had just wrapped it around the ring post not but a minute ago. Tully jumping a guy is like Pat Beverley playing man defence. He gives you no breathing room, just completely swarms you and on top of that he was rolling out some mean looking inverted Indian deathlocks. Both guys' punches looked amazing in this as well. Dusty's left jabs were as good as I've ever seen them, right up there with the best Lawler jab combos. There was an incredible bit where Tully was peppering Dusty in the corner with rights and lefts and Dusty's jelly-legged selling was out of this world. And JJ's interference, while fairly low key, made for a couple great little moments. The first was when Dusty left the ring to stalk him down and Tully lunged between the middle and bottom ropes to get at him. A bit later Dusty went after him again, but when Tully dove for him this time Dusty was ready and caught him with a peach of a right hand. I liked this a bunch and it might actually be my favourite of all their matches together.

Bushwhacker Saturday (and other 1994 WWF)

The Bushwhackers v The Quebecers (RAW, 3/21/94)

I always dig how the Quebecers use their bodies as weapons. They'll just chuck each other around and land full force on somebody, whether it's a powerslam or a back body drop or their awesome somersault senton. We never got the latter here, but the back body drop spot looked great, with Pierre crushing Luke like it was Dick Togo at his very portliest in there. WWF Bushwhackers are so completely unlike Portland/Houston/Carolinas Sheepherders, maybe the ultimate WWF cartoonification of a gimmick that had been famous elsewhere. Duggan went from a blood-drenched brawling machine in Mid-South to a cross-eyed goober in the WWF, but he was still super over and mostly worked as walking tall babyface, albeit toned way down. I don't think Dusty took a blade to his forehead once in the WWF and they had him dance around in polka dots, but he was still Dusty by god Rhodes and more or less worked like it. Heel Sheepherders were so despised in Puerto Rico that when they ran an angle where Carlos Colon nearly stomped them to death, fans tried to break into the ambulance they were being carried out the stadium in just to finish the job. I've seen heel Sheepherders almost incite riots just by waving a New Zealand flag in some trucker's face. Babyface Bushwhackers ate sardines and bit opponents in the arse. And absolutely fair play to all of them for it. Get that WWF money without having to bleed buckets or get stabbed in the neck by pissed off rednecks. That's called working, brothers. Anyway this wasn't good.


Lex Luger v Rick Martel (RAW, 3/28/94)

Five years earlier with the roles reversed this probably would've been real good. By '94 Martel was a little more broken down and heel Martel was never as fun as babyface Martel anyway, even if the Model character is one I'll always kind of love for nostalgic reasons. He was an amusing shithead in this, though his chinlock was terrible and never made for much of a control segment. Luger worked a headlock when he was on top too so as a match it was sort of dull for stretches. Luger did start out as if he was pissed off, though. He got screwed over at 'Mania and early on he carried himself like a guy you'd probably not want to be in there with. You might even feel sorry for Martel if he was less obnoxious. But then if a frog had wings it wouldn't bump its arse when it hops. McMahon calls Luger an "extraordinary physical specimen; a tremendous mesomorph" and if I ever put money on any WWF commentator throwing out a Somatotype reference it would've been a substantial amount on Monsoon. I love that in about thirty years of watching this stupid nonsense they can still surprise me. Anyway this wasn't very good either.


Earthquake v Adam Bomb (RAW, 4/4/94)

Fun four minute hoss fight. Lots of missed elbow drops that landed with thuds, elbow drops that looked like they'd have busted up ribs had they connected, then when Earthquake finally hit on one it fairly squashed our man Adam into the canvas. Bomb always had a nice slingshot clothesline; always looked really impressive for a guy his size. His clothesline off the top is great as well as he'd get real height on it and land like a cruiserweight. Kane would do that top rope clothesline and he'd land on his feet, which is understandable because he's massive and like, go be safe out there, you know? But Adam Bomb is truly the lost worker of the 90s and hits it like a man half his size and weight, his body going full horizontal as he connects with it. Vince on commentary gets a bit ahead of himself at one point as Bomb covers Earthquake and McMahon tells the ref' to turn around and count. He'd only do that for the babyfaces, never the heels, so we know it's only a matter of time before Bomb chucks Wippleman and branches out on his own, redeemed in the eyes of gods and men.


1994 WWF Project

Is babyface Flair...the best Flair???

Ric Flair & Angelo Mosca v Greg Valentine & Hussein Arab (Maple Leaf Wrestling, 9/6/80)

Man, this absolutely ruled. What the hell? Why is this never talked about when one of the guys in it is the most talked about wrestler in the history of our great sport? How is there a Flair match this good that hasn't had eighty six thousand words written about it? Pre-world title babyface Nature Boy is so awesome. I never thought I'd get properly excited about Flair again, not after all this time when I thought I'd seen all I ever possibly needed to see from him, but I couldn't believe how impressive he was in this. His babyface energy was startling. This wasn't like when he'd work babyface after he'd won all those world titles. It wasn't even like that brief period in '85 when he worked babyface against the Russians, and that was him at the absolute peak of his powers. I've said this before, but a lot of babyface Flair still felt like heel Flair only dialed back a bit. He'd still do a bunch of the things he'd do as a heel, they'd just get the babyface pop because of who he was. In fact he could practically work heel opposite an actual heel, but if he was presented as a babyface and the fans were supposed to cheer him then the fans would cheer him. He was Ric Flair and could do whatever the hell he wanted. This, though, was a babyface who worked 100% like a babyface. In an alternate reality he took this act and paired up with a Ricky Steamboat and they became the greatest babyface tag team that ever lived. He strutted and woo'd but there was no arrogance to any of it. There was none of that veneer where you knew deep down he was still that same guy who'd pat you on the back then brag about your wife waiting in line for Space Mountain. At one point Mosca had Valentine in a bearhug and Flair strutted along the apron, started the crowd clapping along, then grabbed the house mic and folk just went apeshit wooing along with him. He was hitting running dropkicks instead of knife edge chops. Nothing was methodical; he was all energy, whether he was working the apron or coming in off the hot tag. The Valentine feud was in full swing so he was after him the whole time, getting super nasty by grinding his knuckles right into Valentine's nose (Valentine had broken Flair's nose not long before this) and popping him with elbows, rapid punch flurries to the gut, it all ruled. And man was he an awesome face in peril. He took two stints being beat on and both were great, but the second was where he got cut open and that was the strongest run of the match. Valentine was obviously being a nasty fuck, and the Sheik was a ton of fun throwing cheapshots and biting the open wound, but it was Flair's selling and sympathy-garnering that really made it. There was a great spot where he came in off the hot tag earlier and went for a big elbow on Valentine, really stopping to measure him before landing it, then when Valentine rolled out the way Flair just took an extra step in his direction and dropped it on him anyway. They repeat that spot during Flair's second heat segment, except this time Valentine drops four elbow attempts and Flair moves out the way each time, eventually scrambling into a neutral corner and leaping off the middle turnbuckle with a big Dusty style elbow of his own. It was as good a hope spot, with as perfect a sense of timing, as you could've asked for. Even the finish was great. After all those times we've seen him almost get caught out with a backslide, who'd have guessed he had the best backslide in his locker all along? Killer match. Everybody did their bit in it, but this was a Flair performance even the most jaded of us can appreciate.

RINGS Battle Dimension 1: Osaka Metropolitan Circuit (3/5/93)

Masayuki Naruse v Nobuaki Kakuta

This was about a thousand times more spirited than I was expecting. Then again this is the second Kakuta fight in a row that's turned out to be good so maybe he is no longer the pits? Has Kakuta managed to put it all together as a master of the fake shootfighting? It was a pretty basic fight all in all; nothing particularly slick on the ground -- in fact, not much of anything was actually done on the mat because Kakuta is lost at sea as soon as he gets there, but that'll add to the drama when he's against someone capable and Naruse really played up that advantage. Kakuta isn't the most compelling striker as his stuff will tend to look like he's doing a demonstration, but he was more dangerous during the stand up than Naruse so it settled us into a fine striker v grappler story. His palm strikes were better here than pretty much any other time I can remember so that was a plus. Crowds are always bonkers for him as well and I'm still not really sure why, but you can't complain when they're rocking like this. Some nice drama down the stretch with both guys running low on points, Kakuta trying to score that winning knockdown, Naruse trying to grab a takedown and go for the tap. A fun bout is all I can really ask for out of Kakuta, so I was happy with what I got.


Sirra Fubicha v Kalil Valvitov

Man what the hell? I have no clue who either of these guys are, couldn't tell you where they're from, have never seen nor heard of them before and don't know if they ever grace the Fighting Network RINGS at any other point. And hey, this totally ruled. I was skeptical at first because it's fought over six three minute rounds and those bouts aren't usually the best, but they shut me up straight away as Fubicha heaves the much bigger Valvitov across the ring with a uranage. This had some hyyyyuge throws, including a couple super impressive deadlift Germans, an awesome powerslam, a sort of death valley driver, many a uranage and at one point Fubicha even did a headscissors takeover! Neither are great on the mat but we all appreciate Valvitov's determination when it comes to locking in an STF. I'm not sure he knew how to do anything else. Either way he sensed that it was his route to victory and he wouldn't be swayed. Fubicha was pretty wild with his striking, at least in that he would kind of shriek before unloading a flurry of palm strikes, backhands and a pump kick or two. By the end they'd run out of ideas and both were clearly knackered, but it might've been the best fight using the rounds system so far. A bit ugly, a bit sluggish, a bit awesome.


Yoshihisa Yamamoto v Pieter Oele

This was another spirited little contest. I'm not familiar with Oele, but you could tell pretty early that he was a kickboxer and not long after that you could tell this was going the striker v grappler route. Even though Yamamoto has nice stand up (or would come to have nice stand up. It wasn't fully developed at this point) he wasn't likely to have much joy on the feet here. Oele was absolutely drilling him with leg kicks that had to just suck being on the receiving end of. I mean these were hellish. Then he'd celebrate each knockdown by sitting up on the turnbuckle like "c'mon, what's the hold up here?" That sort of behaviour along with his punchable Jerry Seinfeld face had me rooting for our boy Yamamoto, and sure enough I thought he was pulling it out the bag when he hooked in a gnarly STF (there have been some killer shoot style STFs on this show). I feel like Oele would make for an interesting Maeda opponent. He hits enough like a truck that you can buy him as a threat standing up, and also because Maeda would be way less receptive to having his legs chopped to bits and might throw professionalism out the window. Not that it'd be like him.


Willie Peeters v Sergei Sousserov

Short and nifty. Both these guys are fun and Sousserov looks like he could end up being really good, so I had some expectations for this. Even thought it barely went five minutes they were pretty well met for what it was. Sousserov's engine is ridiculous and he's constantly moving forward in fights, which led to a couple cool moments where Peeters caught him shooting in for takedowns with a high kick. The stand up wasn't the most crisp, but it was active and they made use of their time. Awesome finish as well.


Dick Vrij v Mitsuya Nagai

Also spirited! This show is fairly bringing it with the fun five minute bouts. Vrij caught Nagai in the face with a closed-fist punch early on and apologised deeply for it, but then someone in Nagai's corner must've said something to piss the big fella off and from that point on he just tried to unleash holy murder. I've said a bunch of times that Vrij has presence and when he's in the mood to cave someone's face in you truly feel for the person whose nose is getting splattered across their coupon. Nagai would shoot in for leglocks and a couple times he forced rope breaks, Vrij would respond with brutal kicks and palm strikes, the crowd ate all of it up. I'll take five minutes of that twelve times out of ten, thank you very much.


Volk Han v Andrei Kopylov

This was way more one-sided than their last bout. Han comes out the gate firing and drops Kopylov with a knockdown, then forces him into a rope break shortly thereafter, and I wonder if anything is quite as terrifying a prospect as pissed off Volk Han out to avenge a previous loss. Kopylov is fun as hell but he was strangely passive in this. There were times where you could see him almost waiting for Han to set stuff up, like he knew this was a fight where Han was going to look great, but didn't know how to create that sense of struggle at the same time. On the one hand it means you get to see Han do a bunch of preposterous shit on a blank canvas. On the other hand it's not nearly as compelling - or impressive - as when he'd do a bunch of preposterous shit against an opponent trying to prevent it with a little more endeavor. But it's Han doing his wizardry so it's hard to complain too much. His reverse figure four was a thing of beauty but his set-up for the rolling armbar was just as great, the way he threw that kick to the midsection to buckle Kopylov over and create his opening. Obviously this was good.


Complete & Accurate RINGS

Hot Rod!

Roddy Piper v Jay Youngblood (Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling, 10/17/81) - GOOD

Really cool ten minute bout. Piper's best quality in the ring might be his unpredictability. He'll do a bunch of shit off the cuff that makes all of his matches feel uncooperative. Going for an armdrag? Nope, you're getting flung on your arse. Collar-and-elbow tie-up? Here's a headbutt. Punch exchange? You're getting dragged by the hair into a headlock and a thumb's getting jabbed in your throat. It might look messy sometimes, but I'll take that a hundred times out of a hundred over something that looks like a pre-planned choreography session (yes I am an old man yelling at clouds. I've made peace with it). This started great with some real quick scrambling. Piper would take Jay's back, Jay would take Piper's and muss up his hair, so Piper would grab a handful of Jay's and swing him around. He'd take powders because maybe he underestimated Yougblood, then he'd shit talk Caudle for making that point. He even suggested a death match with Yougblood when Jay made the challenge earlier on the show, now he's having to regroup. This of course annoys him further and it leads to them trading snug headbutts and chops. Last couple minutes are a race to beat the clock, Piper going off on the ref' when he can't put Youngblood away with the sleeper. And of course a draw isn't an acceptable result so he beats on Jay some more after the bell. Piper really feels like one of the great studio match wrestlers of all time.


Complete & Accurate Hot Rod

Steamboat v Tully...and the No Run Rule!

Ricky Steamboat v Tully Blanchard (Starrcade, 11/22/84)

Man do I love this match. On an individual level it's some of the best stuff both guys have ever done, or at the very least it's some of my favourite. It's different from your typical awesome Steamboat performance (awesome being typical for yer man Ricky). When you talk about the best of Ricky Steamboat you usually think of the theatrics and the emoting and the selling all the way to the back row. In contrast, this was more subtle and probably came off better to those of us watching through the screen. I actually haven't seen any of the build up to this, which could easily be rectified given how much of the surrounding TV footage is on the Network, but Steamboat comes in with a hip/rib injury on his left side. That injury is the crux of the match, but rather than being on the back foot because of it, where he's selling a beatdown with the ribs as Tully's target, it's more about him trying to put Tully away before the injury completely debilitates him. It's Steamboat as offensive dynamo, which isn't really a role you associate with him. He was hitting all sorts of big offence though; a swinging neckbreaker, huge powerslam, his strikes were crisp (including this awesome ax kick out the corner), a big back suplex, even Tully's own slingshot suplex. You still get the selling, it's just a bit more understated, more from the front foot. He looks great during the early flurry where he just swarms Tully, but then he needs to catch his wind and the adrenaline wears off a bit. You can see right there that he isn't 100% by the way he grabs the hip. Love how he'd circle Tully by keeping his left side turned away from him, always trying to shield it where possible, how he'd stop and catch a pained breath, which plausibly gave Tully a chance to recover a little each time. Tully's first dig to the ribs is perfection. Steamboat tries to hide how much it stung, but Tully isn't stupid and sees exactly where his opening is, doing his little strut after his route to victory's been presented to him. At one point Steamboat stopped, clutched his side and looked at Tully like "you are such a little prick." And we were all with him because Tully truly is the ultimate prick. He was amazing in this. The rules are that he can't run away or be disqualified to keep the belt through bullshittery and early on his first instinct is always to bolt. There are three instances in the first thirty seconds where he wants to roll out the ring to break Steamboat's momentum, but then it dawns on him that he can't and has to head back into the eye of the storm. His offence comes in spurts, mostly opportunistic, but when they do come it's relentless. Even off a rope break he'll just lunge at Steamboat and elbow or knee or drive a shoulder into Steamboat's side. If Steamboat leaves himself open too long you know Tully's throwing a jab in there, which led to Steamboat having to go for a chinlock a couple times to contain him. Then when Tully can't string together any offence he opts for the shithousing. He spits at Steamboat's face and does this goofy Ali shuffle, strutting away as Steamboat looks at him with pure venom. That obviously led to the perfect revenge spot with Steamboat spitting point blank in Tully's bloody face before chopping him to bits. Tully being desperate and going to the foreign object isn't surprising and I like how Steamboat kicked out of the first shot, so you think he's survived it, only for Tully to be Tully and find himself a second chance. You make your own luck after all and there's a reason Tully so often had a title around his waist. I do wish they played up Steamboat's injury a bit more in the back half, but it's a small gripe overall and both guys were incredible. Maybe my favourite Starrcade match ever.

Some wrestling...from the studio!

Greg Valentine v Roddy Piper (Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling, 3/12/83)

Every minute of these two matching up is worth watching. Valentine is one of the surliest bastards ever and Piper had that wildness about him where it always felt like a riot was ready to break out. Against Valentine, it usually did. This was about eight minutes long and ended with a run-in to close the show, but it had the same foundation as their best stuff together. The roughness, the ugly strikes, someone getting slapped really hard across the ear, an elbow to the clavicle, the meanest collar-and-elbow tie-up you ever saw. They'd kind of stop for brief little periods and look at each other with total disgust, then they'd go at it again and much clobbering would commence. They captured a real sense of violence that very few others could match. What a pairing.


Arn Anderson v Bill Mulkey (World Championship Wrestling, 2/8/86)

I've watched a bunch of late '85-early '86 Crockett TV over the last few months. A lot of the time it's a case of throwing on the Network and having it run as background noise while I try to finish off work and/or research in a timely fashion. But every time an Arn match comes on, whether it's a three minute squash or a competitive ten minute draw or a lengthier tag match if we get lucky, I'll drop even the pretense of being productive and watch the wrestling instead. Arn is basically always worth checking out. And this is pretty much an extended squash, but it's one of those where it could've lasted forty seconds except he was enjoying himself too much and so we got five minutes out of it. Bill Mulkey looks sort of like Wynn Duffy with the body of Cricket after he fell on hard times. Arn gave him a couple clean breaks because it's not like he actually needed to take him seriously or anything, but then Mulkey popped him in the jaw and chucked him with a hip toss. So for the next four and a half minutes Arn bullies the hell out of him. This had some awesome arm-wringers, some awesome yanking of the arm, some great stomping on the shoulder joint while while standing on the hand to keep it in place. Arn's stomps are all-time level anyway and the Crockett studio ring always makes a really satisfying racket. Arn was also having some fun shit-talking folks, asking Schiavone where Dusty is hiding and even asking the crowd if they want to see him rough up a scrub some more. I've seen about a hundred Arn Anderson TV squashes and I'll happy see a hundred more.

I Hung in Pretty Good for a Round or Two, but Tenryu Don’t Fight Fair Like Daddy Taught Me To

Genichiro Tenryu & Atsushi Onita v Riki Choshu & Shiro Koshinaka (No Ropes Explosive Barbed Wire Deathmatch) (World Japan, 6/29/03) - FUN

What a magic. This was basically seven minutes of four old guys doing signature spots. With explosions! It was like a puro version of the video for that 'Girls & Boys' by Good Charlotte. Onita came out with his Noel Gallagher hair died a purplish brown looking like a slightly less cosmetically enhanced Sharon Osborne. The other three were kitted out exactly like they would be for any other match. Onita took three bumps into barbed wire and by the end he had bladed his forehead, stomach and maybe his back, his leather jacket had been discarded and the t-shirt under it a shredded mess. He spat green mist in Choshu's face to break up a Sharpshooter on Tenryu, then when Choshu wouldn't let go he threw a fireball at him instead. Tenryu took the tamest explosion bump you ever did see after a Koshinaka hip attack and I don't recall him doing anything else outside the finish. Koshinaka got caught in the crossfire of Onita's final bump into the wire and sold it like his ear got blown off, so naturally he was afforded the sympathy of being dropped on his neck. You can fairly well skip this, but it certainly has a novelty factor if you're a fan of anybody in it. You could literally watch it while boiling an egg.


Complete & Accurate Tenryu

NWA Classics 24/7 #27

Jack Brisco v The Spoiler (Houston Wrestling, 7/27/79)

I should probably watch more Spoiler. To be honest I haven't really thought about Brisco in years either, but I at least formed an actual opinion of him way back whenever (though that's been a loooong time as well). It's not that this is the first Spoiler/Super Destroyer match I've seen, it's that it might be the one closest to his peak and man that guy was fun as hell. This had a bunch of great headlock work in the first five-six minutes, and while Brisco is someone who'll always be active in holds to keep them semi-interesting it was Spoiler who was doing all sorts of neat stuff. I've probably seen it done before, but the way he held Brisco in the headlock so he could choke him over his knee at the same time is such a cool spot that more people should've pinched. He also sends the ref' around to check for Brisco pulling the mask (he's not, obviously), then when he's in the clear he yanks Brisco back down to the mat with a handful of hair. It was all just really solid heat-building. There was another awesome part where he perched up on the top rope waiting for Brisco to get back in the ring, scoping Brisco's movements before giving him a double axe handle as Brisco was halfway through the ropes. It doesn't sound like much, but he looked super menacing just by the way he quietly bided his time, and the longer he waited the more worried you were for Brisco. The claw v figure-four part of the match ruled as well. Initially Brisco countered the claw with a kneebreaker (after some really nice desperation selling while in the hold), then as he went to the half crab Spoiler was trying to grab anything he could to get out of it. By the time Brisco finally managed to get the figure-four on proper you had Spoiler almost crawling up Bronko Lubich's shirt for a reprieve. The two falls coming in quick succession worked as well, not just as comeuppance for Gary Hart's interference but because the second one made Brisco look he's always thinking on his feet. He was the world champ for a reason, you know. Imagine how much more cool Spoiler footage we could be getting if NWA On Demand was still a thing.

Tenryu Needs a Back Road Somewhere Deep in the Pines, Burning His Wheels Until the Sun Shines

Genichiro Tenryu v Satoshi Kojima (All Japan, 7/17/02) - EPIC

This might be the most obvious example of Tenryu working modern day epic. Even seventeen years on I don't think it would feel out of place today (of course I say that as someone who pays almost no attention to current Japanese wrestling). It had everything you'd expect -- the bomb-throwing, the strike exchanges, a few too many nearfalls, some iffy transitions, a wee bit of Fighting Spirit that I could've done without, maybe five minutes more than it needed...but man was some of it tremendous. I thought the last ten minutes were the weakest as they mostly became about the nearfalls and head drops, though they were interspersed with some stellar striking and the crowd was nuclear. Kojima had already lost to Tenryu in February so this was his chance at redemption, and naturally you expect him to go all out down the stretch. The people are fully behind him as well, just going bonkers when he rips off his elbow pad for the big home run hit. The part where he eats two brainbusters and immediately sleepwalks his way into hitting a lariat is stupid and I'll probably never be into those spots, but he at least lay in a heap afterwards like he was completely spent. Even if the drama started to peter a bit by the end I was never rolling my eyes thinking they should've wrapped it up fifteen minutes ago. Still, the first two thirds were outstanding and some of the best All Japan I've seen since the NOAH exodus. Kojima is fired up from the bell and is the first to throw strikes, doing a Tenryu of his own with the punch-chop combos. Tenryu sitting down in the corner holding his jaw like "okay, I guess we're doing this already" was awesome, just as a little hint that Kojima is going to eat shit for that sooner or later. They tie up in a knucklelock, Tenryu backs him into the corner, and for a second there it looks like he's about to shred him, but then Kojima keeps his grip and forces Tenryu back into the middle of the ring. Kojima won't be taken lightly and he's not about to let Tenryu be Tenryu. Eleven thousand billion words have been written on the internet about how 90s All Japan would use the early match to establish roles and narrative points and how amazing all of it was and this was basically the exact same thing. Plus Tenryu's strikes have GRAVITY to them so every time he throws one it feels like a big deal for one reason or another. When he hits his breaking point and goes off it's incredible. He chops Kojima dead in the trachea and launches a water bottle at him - as Kojima writhes around holding his throat on the floor - and so we all know then and there that we have truly arrived at the party. I don't think Tenryu threw one single strike in this match that wasn't at least an eight out of ten. Some of the punches looked as jaw-dropping to the viewer as they did jaw-shattering to the recipient, and obviously the chops were first class. Kojima going after Tenryu's leg was a cool bit of strategy as well. It never had a real payoff as they moved past it in the final third, but it gave Kojima an out when he needed one and it added an extra layer to his offence, something that he added to his repertoire after falling short in the first match. Tenryu sold all of it nicely as well and that sometimes meant getting indignant and punching Kojima in the willy (to many boos). So I guess this was twenty minutes of excellent work with ten minutes of work that didn't always land perfect, but had enough to it that it still largely hit the mark (on a personal level anyway. It clearly landed as intended with the live crowd). I'll accept a few too many brainbusters if I'm getting elite striking, plus the build overall was really strong. Probably a top 5 Kojima match and maybe the last true singles MOTYC from Tenryu.


Complete & Accurate Tenryu

Tenryu Needs a Shot of Holy Water. He Needs it to Chase Down His Demons and Burn 'em Just a Little Bit Hotter

Genichiro Tenryu v Doug Furnas (All Japan, 4/18/89) - FUN

Mostly forgettable, though a decent enough offensive showcase. Doug Furnas really did have a spectacular dropkick. He threw a goodly amount of them in this, maybe a couple too many, but every one of them looked gorgeous so how much can you really complain? Tenryu mostly let Furnas shine and stuck to throwing a chop here and there, one of which catching Furnas under the chin that he was none too pleased about. Tenryu's enziguri also looked awesome, the way Furnas almost tried to spear him only to be caught flush in the face. Usually Tenryu will hit that enziguri to the back or side of the head, but this one was head on and Furnas took it like a trooper. It reminded me of how Finlay would always take Rey's 619 with no hands and it'd land right on the forehead. There were no half measures with Furnas, he knew that shin bone across his nose was going to hurt like a bastard but he leaned into it anyway. The lariat at the end was appropriately ugly.


Genichiro Tenryu v Stan Hansen (All Japan, 10/21/00) - GREAT

In a just world this match would've happened six thousand times. It would've meant either Tenryu never left All Japan and we'd have been robbed of WAR v New Japan, or Hansen would've gone with him and that would've robbed us of old man Hansen tearing up the Pillars, but I like to think the trade off would've kept us happy (well it would've kept ME happy and to hell with everybody else). By 2000 Hansen was a shot fighter, broken down and at the foot of retirement. Tenryu was fifty, though clearly had no intention of hanging up his own boots. Like any pro wrestler worth their salt these two embraced their impending decrepitude by making up for whatever they'd lost in athleticism with a dose of old bastarditis. And these were some of my favourite ever Hansen v Tenryu exchanges, starting right from Hansen's entrance as Tenryu wiped him with a surprise tope. Hansen's lumbago was obviously giving him grief so of course Tenryu booted him in the spine many times. Many other times he punched him in the jaw. Hansen would sort of look at him in astonishment, like he couldn't quite believe his old tag partner was treating him like he'd have treated any lumpy undercarder, so he punched him back really hard. Tenryu's sell of a couple jawbreakers was unreal, the way he'd hobble on jelly legs after biting off more than he'd usually be able to chew against those lumpy undercarders. Hansen would also stagger around at points with this total "why am I even doing this to myself?" look. He's a man who knew the end of the road was near, but why he was seeing out that home stretch getting punted in the kidneys was anybody's guess. Maybe this was the match where it all clicked and, if he didn't before, he knew it was time to just call it a day. One more lariat for the road. His last ever singles match and he went out swinging. Like he'd have it any other way.


Complete & Accurate Tenryu

90s New Japan Heavyweights (part 6)

Rick Rude v Kensuke Sasaki (New Japan, 8/11/92)

This was very much a Rick Rude match in 1992; the kind of thing you could easily see him work against Ron Simmons on a Clash of the Champions or Brad Armstrong on Saturday Night. It meant there was some stuff that didn't totally click -- it probably went too long, was a bit too methodical (or slow, if you like) for Sasaki's strengths, and because Rude was clearly leading the whole thing there were moments where Sasaki looked a wee bit lost, like he wasn't really sure how to follow up or what Rude wanted him to do so he'd just go to the stomps. It meant there was some real fun stuff too, though. Rude never toned down his act at all and the crowd tore into him for it, booing his flexing and any time he'd rake the eyes as a cutoff. He took two atomic drops - one inverted - and so we got a couple all-time atomic drop sells, which of course the crowd ate up because they're human after all and how could anybody not? Sasaki worked over the back and even if the back work itself was fairly bog standard, Rude sold it pretty well for the most part. Sasaki got to throw him around a little and the crowd dug that as Rude made the obvious point of being stronger earlier on. The whole thing probably would've come off better if it was worked exactly the same in front of a US crowd, but for what it was it was alright. If they upped the pace and cut a chunk of time it could've been super fun.

Tenryu Keeps His Faith Intact, Makes Sure His Prayers are Said, 'Cause He's Learned that the Monsters Ain't the Ones Beneath the Bed

Genichiro Tenryu & Ashura Hara v Yoshiaki Yatsu & King Haku (SWS, 8/9/91) - GREAT

Hot damn. This started like a train and for the first five minutes it was looking like a true SWS classic. Haku jumped Tenryu at the bell and about took the Jheri curl off him with a thrust kick, then when Tenryu managed to tag in Hara we were treated to a heabutt-fest between him and Haku. These were some unruly headbutts and the crowd reactions were that of almost disbelief, eventually popping huge for Hara coming out on top. When Haku regained control he just stomped clean on Hara's balls - to a chorus of boos - and when Yatsu got in he threw a few dangerously low stomps of his own. I thought for second they were actually going to do a bit of "lower abdomen" work, which would've been absolutely spectacular (and the crowd were SO ready for it), but instead they went to the leg locks to bring an end to a sensational five minutes of surliness. What they did from there on out still ruled, but landed just a step below your highest of the high end potato festivals. Haku and Yatsu were a pretty awesome pair of assholes in this. Tenryu and Hara were throwing tons of mean strikes, but other than a couple moments where one of them would make a save on their partner's behalf they were wrestling clean as a whistle. They were hard but fair. I don't think there was one single chop to the throat or punch to the eye socket. On the other hand Haku and Yatsu were a well-oiled headbutting machine and weren't remotely above taking cheapshots. I'd listen to an argument that Haku probably absorbed a bit too much punishment without ever leaving his feet, but he was always treated as a bit of a juggernaut in the Tenryu feds and it's not like he wasn't willing to get walloped to hell. Every headbutt looked nasty, every lariat looked nastier, and when Tenryu clobbered him with that last enziguri you expected his eyeballs to pop out. So I'll take that balancing of the scales and sleep soundly. Other than that match with Tenryu later in the year (where they crowbar the fuck out of each other. Obviously) I couldn't point to any 90s Yatsu matches that I know for a fact I've seen. I mean, I know I've watched 90s Yatsu matches, I just don't remember which ones because I was left with no impression of them. I guess public opinion on him is that he sort of fell off a cliff after the turn of the decade, but he looked every bit as good in this as he did in the 80s. He was aggressive pretty much the whole way and there was an amazing bit where Tenryu came in looking to run riot, so Yatsu just dragged him out to the floor and gave him a bulldog on exposed concrete. Finishing run was short and hectic, and overall if it was a little smoother structurally it's probably hitting EPIC. Still a whole bucket of surly goodness and somewhere around that upper tier of SWS.


Complete & Accurate Tenryu