Friday, 6 June 2014

STUFF

I've pretty much just been picking out things to watch at random lately. 90s yearbooks, 80s sets, WWE from this year, late 90s ECW, random lucha on youtube, etc. These are some of those things:


Hechicero v Barbaro Cavernario (CMLL, 4/8/14)

You'll struggle to find a better sub-ten minute match than this all year. It goes seven and a half minutes and totally fucking ruled. I said not long ago that Cesaro is probably the most spectacular "big spot" wrestler in the world right now, but I might have to take that back because Hechicero is coming mighty close to topping him. I've watched four Hechicero matches from this year so far and he's literally done at least one thing per match that I've never seen before. I watched a trios match last night where he hit some Russian leg sweep pump handle slam thing and it looked nuts. In this he does something awesome for every minute that passes -- a crazy inverted monkey flip or whatever the fuck, an STF where he yanks Cavernario's hair back, some nutso spinning backbreaker thing, and he takes a fucking horrific bump off a missed senton to the floor that might've been even crazier than his tope to nowhere from last year (which was just about the spot of the year). And Cavernario follows up on that lunacy by hitting a wild splash from the top rope to the floor. Seriously, for seven minutes this had a bit of everything: nifty matwork, great offence, huge bumps, big spots, a great comeback and a good finish. I hope Hechicero doesn't die any time soon, because I want to watch him do his thing a whole lot this year.


Luke Harper & Erick Rowan v The Usos (RAW, 6/2/14)

A Texan friend of mine suggested these guys could have something really good with some decent time. This gets about fourteen minutes. First half is pretty by the numbers yet solid; second half is really good stuff. Pretty sure this is my first time seeing Rowan actually wrestle (unless he was in the Rumble, but then you don't get a great handle on a guy with those things). Think it's my first time seeing Harper in WWE as well. Both guys look like they're straight out of Mance Rayder's wildling army. Harper has either sweat or bacon grease staining the front of his shirt and looks like the kind of person that eats live pigeons because they give him "body fuel." He might be my favourite wrestler of all time based on that alone. This is definitely my first Usos match. They're total energetic 80s babyfaces, hand-clapping and full of beans. The Islanders of 2014, I guess. They seem solid. I can't remember which one is which, but one of them threw a few corkers of punches (although they also throw a few that are real thigh-slappy). They do a bunch of superkicks to the midsection of Rowan and Harper. They're not Chris Adams superkicks, but they look fine. Harper was king in this, though. He has amazing crazy eyes. There was one point where an Uso kicked out of a huge running boot, and Harper had this great Silence of the Lambs smirk that was barely noticeable through his beard. One of the Usos has taped up ribs coming in, and the match really kicks up a gear when the Wyatts isolate him and target the injury. Rowan feels like the weakest of the Wyatt family, but I loved him setting the Uso up across the top turnbuckle and headbutting him in the midsection. Stretch run is pretty hot with a crazy Uso dive and an amazing spot where Harper winds up for his spinning lariat only to be drilled right in the face with a nasty wheel kick. The more Wyatts matches I watch the more excited I get about finally watching those Wyatts/Shield matches.


Hulk Hogan & High Flyers v Ken Patera, Jesse Ventura & Bobby Heenan (AWA, 3/13/83)

I guess this is the RnRs/Duggan v MX/Ladd of the AWA set. It's not as good as that six-man, but it's still pretty fucking great. I know hindsight is a beautiful thing and all, but even at the time Verne must've been crazy not to see mega money in Hogan. I mean, Hogan was always going to end up in the WWF eventually (so does that make Verne Daniel Levy and Vince Florentino Perez? And Hogan the biggest Galactico of them all?), but dicking fans around with the constant Dusty Finishes rather than actually putting the belt on him probably hurt them in the long run. Hulk is just craaaaazy over here. Any time he gets within two feet of Heenan the place erupts. Bobby was so awesome on this set, both in the ring and as a manager. He doesn't bleed to the point of near death in this (he did that a few other times on the set), but every bump he takes looks wild. He's such an awkward and reckless bumper; not in the sense he looks untrained, but in the sense he almost breaks his neck every other bump, and it's clearly intentional. It's embellished, and sometimes that kind of bumping annoys me a bit (WWF-era Hennig, Dolph Ziggler), but he manages to strike a perfect balance. Crowd of course hate his guts. This is some serious, visceral hatred; just pure toxic loathing. Even Cornette never got this kind of shit flung at him, and he tried to date rape Ricky Morton with a chloroform rag! FIP spell on Gagne is really good here. Jesse and Patera grind him down with bearhugs, but on the bearhug spectrum these were pretty good. Jesse hoists him above his head and really squeezes around the hip bones, so it's a different take on your traditional bearhug if nothing else. Heenan obviously gets his licks in, and he's the perfect...well, weasel. I'd have preferred Gagne to make the hot tag right to Hogan rather than going to Brunzell who then tags in Hulk after teasing going in peril himself, but it's whatever. Dug the finish, too. Also, you gotta love Hogan yanking off Jesse's do-rag and mocking him for being all bald on the top, party in the back. HOGAN, fer fucks. This ruled, btw.

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